The next day, I woke up to my wrist burning like hell. I shot up in my bed and immediately looked at it. The countdown was in the last hours, and I couldn't stop smiling. In the very moment I realized what was happening, the burning and the hurting was washed away and I felt happy and nervous at the same time. I couldn't even describe the feeling, I was just so happy that I couldn't even think straight. I got up slowly, letting the new day come over me. I rubbed my hair, and let my hands go through my hair, before getting up and walking over to my desk, where my laptop stood.
While waiting for my laptop to properly load everything I went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee, before walking back and checking the time.
9am. The fuck? When did I start waking up so early? I asked myself, before clicking on the internet symbol and waiting for tumblr to load. I reblogged quite a few pictures and decided to watch some videos. At 11am Alice stormed into my room, making me nearly spill my coffee because she scared be.
“What the fuck?” I asked, before standing up and walking over to her. Her whole body was shaking and I was getting really concerned about her. “Alice!” I demanded, now more aggressive.
“I think I'm getting sick” she replied. She was really pale, and her hands were cold as ice.
“No, Alice. Sit down, I will bring you a glass of water! Sit, don't move, everything is okay!” I replied in a rush, running into the kitchen, searching for an aspirin. I finally found one, took a glass of water and put the aspirin in, before giving it Alice and letting her drink it. She finished the glass quickly, and slowly her skin went back to normal. I sighed out in relief, before taking her hands again. “Okay, stay calm. You are just nervous. Don't think about it! Everything will go well! And in the end of the day you will be with the love of your life!” I calmed her down. She nodded slowly, before hugging me.
“Thanks” she whispered, and pulled away, smiling at me.
“No problem!” I replied. I got up and went into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and then my hair. Seeing we had to leave in two hours, I decided to do my hair and make up later. I stayed in my pj, just in case I spilled something on it. I went downstairs, taking to steps and sprinting into the living room, telling Alice the bathroom was free. She smiled weakly at me and passed me, walking upstairs. She still looked really pale, but a lot better than before. It was always like this. She was over thinking this. But when I said stop, and stopped it, she would continue and start to think of awful scenarios, in which the world ended. And those scenarios made her feel sick.
I went up into the kitchen and made some toast for me and Alice. I spread nutella over both of the toasts and put two on a plate for Alice, and two for me. Claire would probably have a massive lay in. I mean she probably stayed up really late. I decided to prepare some hot chocolate for Alice as well, seeing she needed sugar right now, so that she would come back to her normal self. Just as I was ready with her drink, she came down the stairs slowly. She put on a jumper to warm herself up. I nodded my head towards the living room, telling her we'd eat there in front of the TV. She smiled and went there. I took the cups and the plates, walking carefully so I wouldn't spill anything. As I arrived, Alice had a blanket over herself and looked up at me, making her eyes look extremely big. I laughed at that, before placing everything on the table. I yawned before taking a seat next to Alice and starting to eat. Alice started by drinking some sips of her hot chocolate. She looked so happy about the fact I've done it for her.
We finished breakfast half an hour later, and I told her I would get ready with my hair and make up now. As she was feeling a lot more better, and well looked more healthy now, she agreed on cleaning up. I thanked her and rushed upstairs, applying my make up. I applied a shade of light pink and blended it out with a white eye shadow, applied the white eye liner and my false lashes, before applying my darkest mascara. I went with a red lipstick and decided to put my hair into a french braid.
I went downstairs, so I could tell Alice she'd be able to go the bathroom and to put on my clothes. I peeked into the kitchen to see her on the phone with somebody.
“Of course we will come!” She said, laughing.
“Oh, it's no problem if they come later … Yeah we will come in time... okay see you!” She answered, declining the call.
“Everything okay?” I asked looking at her.
“Hm? Oh yes of course! Alex just called me, to tell that the guys might be late” she replied smiling.
“Okay... By the way, the bathroom is free so you can go ahead!” I said smiling. She nodded and with that I was off into my room. I started to put everything on and looked pleased into the mirror. I was happy with how I looked and couldn't wait to arrive at Alex' and meet everybody. But especially him, whoever he was. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, and kept staring on the seconds that counted my meeting down.
I lost track of time, until I was ripped out of my thoughts by Alice knocking on my door. I turned around and looked at her smiling. She had her hair in big curls, a black eyeliner, mascara and a pink reddish lipstick, and the outfit she bought yesterday. She looked so beautiful.
I nodded at her and we walked out, deciding to take our car. I sat in the drivers seat and drove by the directions Alice told me to. We arrived half an hour later, at 2pm.
I took some deep breathes, before Alice smiled reassuring at me. I smiled back and stepped out of the car, looking at the house. It looked beautiful, a little bit posher than ours, but not too fancy. I liked it. Alice and I linked arms and walked towards the door. She ringed the bell, and if it wasn't me holding her arm, she would jump up and down. I laughed at her and a minute later a guy opened the door.
I recognized him, he bought the headphones and the adapter at the apple store some days ago. It was hard not to let my mouth fall open, so I just smiled extremely at him.
“ALICE!” He nearly yelled, hugging Alice, lifting her up and spinning her around. I chuckled at this, while Alice hugged him back.
“ALEX!” She yelled in the same volume, laughing in the end. He kissed her cheek before letting her down.
“Okay, Alex this is Jay! Jay this is Alex!” Alice introduced us.
“Hey Alex!” I greeted him smiling.
“Hey Jay! Wow that rhymes! By the way, have I seen you somewhere before? You seem familiar?” He asked, smiling at me.
“Apple store, a few days ago. Yeah, you asked me for the adapters” I replied laughing.
“KNEW IT! I was there with Zack... You will meet him later!” he explained. With that he pulled Alice by her arm, and Alice me, inside and showed us... or more me around.
Everything looked so clean, and I started to wonder if he really lived alone. But right now, I couldn't be bothered, because my wrist began to burn worse and worse every minute that passed. I could feel Alice had the same problem, but both of us kept calm about it.
He lead us back into the living room, and told us to sit down. We did as he said and with that he was off into the kitchen I think.
“So? How do you like him?” Alice asked me.
“He's nice! I understand why you like him!” I replied laughing. We kept on talking, until Alex came back, with three bottles of beer. I started to grin like fool, looking at him and the bottles. He handed me one and Alice one, after opening them. I took a long sip to relax myself. It actually worked and Alex started to bombard me with questions.
“okay so, how old are you?” He asked excited.
“23... And you?” I asked smiling.
“25! Where are you from?”
“Same as Alice... And you from Baltimore I guess?” I asked back.
“Yeah! So, you live together?”
“Mhm, with another room mate”
“Damn!” He replied, kinda lost in thoughts.
“Don't worry, we don't do anything you wouldn't do” I warned him, winking.
He rolled his eyes and we kept on talking and talking.
After about 20minutes there was a knock at the door and Alex shot up to answer it, leaving us alone again.
I looked up at Alice, who probably looked just as excited as I was. We smiled at each other and stared at the door.
“Hey guys! Wait... Where's Jack?” Alex asked confused.
“I don't know, I thought he was already here?” Somebody replied.
“Oh well... Step in guys!” Alex said, and with that the footsteps came closer and closer. Alice and I both tensed up and held our breathes.
First a guy with shaved head really white teeth and brown eyes entered.
“Hello! I'm Rian!” he introduced himself.
“Hey! I'm Alice!” Alice replied, as she was sitting closer to him. She looked over to me suspicious and excited. I just shook my head before turning back to Rian.
“Hey! Just call me Jay!” I replied laughing. He shook my hand and sat next to me.
Alex and somebody else kept on talking and then a third person entered. I recognized him as the guy Alex was with at the store, and when Alice's and his gaze met, everybody could feel the electricity between them.
“H-hi … I'm Zack” The guy said to Alice.
Alice stood up, not loosing his gaze. I don't even think she blinked at least once.
“I'm Alice” She replied, as her smile grew wider and wider. I felt myself getting happy for her. Finally after all the years of waiting, she finally met him. Alex motioned for me and Rian to go with him into the kitchen, so we followed him, leaving Alice and Zack alone.
I don't even think they realized we left them, because they were lost in each other's eyes.
We entered the kitchen and Alex gave Rian a bottle of beer as well. As we had nothing to do, we talked with each other, until Alex gave me an uneasy look.
“What?” I asked confused.
“Why is nothing happening to you?” he asked.
“Huh?” I asked again, now even more confused.
“Alice told me, your countdowns would go off at the same time!” he said, now more eagerly.
“No, mine is 10minutes later than hers, that means” I said, checking the clock “2minutes left” I replied smiling. By now my heart was nearly beating out of my chest. I felt my knees shake and I slowly lost my balance.
“Okay calm down! Sit down and just drink … No! Not the beer, here have some water!” Rian said, sitting me down on a chair, and handing me the water. I took a few sips and took some deep breathes, before calming down again. I didn't dare to look at the clock again. I just wanted it to happen surprisingly. I started to mess with my hands, that's what I always did when I was nervous.
Suddenly Alex' phone went off, and in that moment I just had to look at the watch.
10Seconds left.
I felt myself getting uneasy. What would he look like? Was he tall? Did he looked american?
I looked up at Alex, who's expression suddenly fell. Just as his expression fell, I felt a pain in my arm that I had experienced before. It was a burning sensation and my whole body shifted up.
“FUCK” I exclaimed, gasping for air. My whole arm went numb and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Jack? Hang on wait a second” Alex said down the line, before rushing over to me.
“What's wrong?” Alex asked worried.
“No, never mind... The bath room's upstairs right?” I asked, already standing up, trying to ignore the pain.
“Yeah, seconds door to your right... Are you really okay?” He asked concerned. I nodded and rushed off into the bathroom. I could feel that I was about to throw up, so I bend over the toilet.
5Minutes later I was finished and started to clean everything off. First I cleaned my mouth, then the toilet. Luckily I didn't get anything of it. I looked down at the watch and felt like fainting.
2Weeks, 3days, 5hours, 41minutes, 10seconds.
My heart fell. I was so close. Never have I been so close before. And now? Everything was gone. I had to wait... Again.
I slowly sat on the floor, hugging my knees. A depressed feeling rushed over me, and I felt worthless. I was so close to actually meeting him. SO CLOSE! 10Seconds... And now? Everything was gone. After what seemed like for ever I got up and fixed myself, making sure I looked normal. Walking downstairs I could hear Alex talking to the others.
“Jack called me, telling me he was about to meet his mate, so he couldn't come here, and then suddenly Jay felt bad. She rushed into the bathroom and well, now here we are waiting” he finished. Was it possible that this Jack guy was my mate? Just by thinking of his name I wanted to vomit again, so probably it was him. I just wanted to punch that asshole in the face. Seriously, I've never felt so angry ever in my life before.
I took the opportunity to escape. I waited until they were talking again, left the car keys in Alice's jacket and ran out of the house.
Calm down. Take deep breathes. Don't cry. I repeated to myself. It kind of helped but soon I couldn't control my tears and let them fall. By the time I was in a familiar park, and said down on a bench, kicking the sand under my feet.
It couldn't be real … not again...
I took my phone out and decided to message Alice, just so she knew.
'S'up babe! Or wait, now I can't call you babe anymore … well shit!
Anyways, car keys are in your jacket, I went for a walk. Didn't feel well... love you! Jay xx' I typed and sent.
I put my phone aside and stared into nothing. After a while I decided to stand up and walk around. Though I tried to think about something different, I couldn't. The pain was overwhelming and my wrist still hurt like a bitch. I walked around for a good hour, and decided to check my phone. Well shit.
20Missed calls and tons of messages.
I went through my missed calls, mostly unknown numbers, and from time to time Alice's. I wasn't sure which to call, so I read through the messages.
'Jay! Call us as soon as you see this! -Alex'
'YOU DICK WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! -Alice'
'Okay, this isn't funny anymore, where the hell are you? -Alice'
I decided to call Alex. Alice was probably with Zack, and I didn't want to annoy them.
“JAY?!” He literally yelled down the line.
“If I could I would slow clap for you” I replied.
“Thank god you're alive! Where are you?” He asked worried.
“In the park, just as I messaged Alice!” I replied laughing.
“You messaged her? Well okay... Good to know you are fine... wait... Are you fine?” He asked.
“Yeah I guess... My wrist hurts like a bitch but apart from that I'm fine” I replied.
“Okay goo-” Alex was about to reply.
“Is that Jay?” I heard Alice ask in the background.
“Yeah, wait I will-” Alex tried to answer, but Alice ripped the phone out of his hands.
“Where are you!?” She asked angry.
“Cutie, look at your received messages” I replied laughing. She cursed under her breath, before turning silent.
“Oops... Sorry” she replied laughing.
“No problem” I replied.
“It happened again?” She asked, quite sad.
“Yes.. But hey, I didn't pass out!” I joked.
“Come on, I know you feel like shit” She replied.
“Whatever … Enjoy your evening, don't you dare to come home before midnight!” I said, laughing.
“Okay master” She replied.
“Have fun and greet the boys” I said before hanging up.
Seeing it was already about half past 4, I decided to go home. The walk seemed to be forever, as I was walking really slow, because well, I had nothing more to do today. Before heading home I decided to take something to eat, and so I bought a salad in a store and ran home, because it started raining. Though I love rain more than anything, I didn't want to get wet today. I reached my home 10minutes later, and was soaked though I ran. I laughed it off and took ran into my room, changing into a pair of boxers and a sweat shirt. After that I grabbed my salad and sat in the living room, turning the TV on.
I totally forgot to tell Claire I was home... Until she realized by herself.
“WHO EVER YOU ARE! LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY AND I WON'T CALL THE POLICE!” I could hear her yell from the hallway, probably holding a baseball bat.
“Claire, calm down! It's me!” I yelled back.
“The fuck are you doing here?” She asked, coming in.
“Eating obviously” I replied laughing. She still had a confused look on her face, and I started to get slightly worried.
“Weren't you meant to meet your mate today?” she asked confused. Fuck...
“Oh … right” I replied, and heard how my voice cracked in the end. My eyes were soon filled with tears, and my lip trembling.
“Shit... Sorry if I knew it then … Fuck … Oh my god don't cry just... SHIT” Claire exclaimed, before hugging me tightly. By now I let the tears fall and just hugged her back. “He's a dick for not showing up … Probably he was sucking dicks or something … Seriously don't cry! Am I not enough for you?!” She asked, sounding hurt in the end. I laughed and whipped away the tears.
“Sorry” I replied shortly.
“No problem! Hey, wanna have a beer or something?” she asked, standing up. I thought about it for a moment. Beer... Though it sounded great for the moment, I wanted something stronger, but know Claire, she would forbid it, and wouldn't leave my side so I couldn't drink anything.
“Nah not really... But you know what? You can just go back to your room... I need some time for myself... You know?” I asked, looking up at her. She nodded, hugged me quickly again and with that she was off to her room. I made sure she was listening to music before walking back into the living room and grabbing a bottle of vodka. As I got it, I threw the remaining salad away and went upstairs, preparing a bath. It's not like I did this for the first time, and I knew that if Alice came home early today, I would have to take the piss, but seriously, I couldn't care less at the moment.
Just before stepping in, I rushed downstairs and knocked on Claire's door.
“Yeah?” She asked, taking off her headphones.
“Hey, I'm taking a bath now... Just so you know” I said smiling.
“Okay!” She replied, and put back her headphones. I took my phone from the living room and ran into the bathroom. After taking off my clothes, I stepped into the warm water and lied down, after turning my music on.
I relaxed for a couple of minutes, before opening the bottle and taking some swigs. I let my head fall back, and just as I was about to drink even more, 'Don't fall asleep at helm' by Sleeping with sirens started. I smiled to myself, realizing that actually I couldn't fall asleep right now, but seriously, it happened before, and nothing bad happened.
Half an hour later, I downed the whole bottle and my vision started to get blurry. By now, I couldn't think straight, and I had no idea how much time passed since I've came home. I had to think about how some years ago, I always got commented on how much I could drink without having serious problems with walking and talking. And well, their reply always was.
“I bet you can only drink so much, because you are Russian” Those comments stopped soon though, because everybody who said that, was beaten up by me later. Though it was kinda true, because my parents were Russian, I never saw myself as a Russian. And well, that was my way telling them that I obviously wasn't.
As I was about to fall asleep, I heard loud bangs from the door. I slowly opened my eyes in confusion.
“JAY OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” I could hear Alice screaming. Well shit. I dragged myself together and tried to sound normally.
“WHY?” I asked back.
“IF YOU DON'T OPEN IT, I WILL FUCKING RIP IT OUT AND ENTER IT!” she screamed, and sounded extremely pissed.
“IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSED!” I replied, and by now I couldn't even talk properly anymore. Alice stepped in and I could see she looked disappointed.
“Seriously? This is your way of coping with sadness?” She asked looking at me.
“Fuck off” I replied. Though I didn't mean it, I said it.
“Come on, here is a towel and some clothes. Get dressed and I'm waiting outside for you” She sighed and walked out.
I rolled my eyes and started drying myself. I put on the pants and shirt Alice brought me, and instantly cursed at her. She brought me a top, and well as it had no sleeves, you could see some scars. I searched from my sweater and luckily found it. Putting it on, I stumbled outside. Alice was already waiting for me and took my arm, leading me downstairs. As I went down, I could hear talking out of the living room. My heart fell. Who was here?
As we walked in, I saw Zack talking with Claire. They both laughed, well until they saw me. Claire's eyes went wide in horror as she saw me, and Zack just looked shocked.
“Um … Zack? Could you like … leave us alone for some time? You can stay in my room and-” Alice asked, but was cut off by a kiss from Zack.
“I'm waiting in your room” he said sweetly, and left the room, after looking at me with a facial expression that looked like a 'sorry'.
Alice sat me next to Claire, and then sat next to me. Nobody said anything for some time, before Alice started talking.
“Seriously? Why?” She asked. I looked at the floor and started rubbing my wrists, something I did when I was nervous.
“Why not?” I asked back, being the asshole I am.
“Jay, this is not a fucking game!” She replied.
“Of course it isn't! I knew what I was doing, there's no need to worry! It's not like I'm a child” I defend myself.
“Really? Well, then why did you have to drink in silence and as if it was a secret?” Claire asked me. At that moment, Alice and I gave her the 'duh' look. Though Alice was on Claire's side, she got my point.
“Maybe, because if I had told you, you would have stayed with me and this would have not happened?” I asked her.
“Well, but at least there would have been no danger for you!” Claire said.
“There obviously was no danger right now as well?” I asked, and felt how my head started to hurt. I couldn't focus on anything, and everything started to get blurry.
“Guys, I think I need to go to bed... Can we please talk tomorrow?” I asked, trying to hear what Alice would respond.
“The Fuck? But, yeah sure... Good night” she said. I stood up and tried to walk to my room, but felt myself getting unconscious. Before my mind went black, I could feel my knees hitting the floor. I would have panicked, but in that moment, I knew it was just the alcohol that knocked me out.
A/N: Hello everybody! So, this is chapter three of my fanfic... I hope you like it and that you like the story so far!!
I'm so glad to recieve good feedback on the last two chapters so:
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! :)
Love you all, Juliaa