When we got into the car, I burst into tears. The heat coming off of my face was lethal, Elliot pulled me into his arms as I sobbed into his chest. "God. I'm so sorry." He cooed. "I wasn't good enough for them? What? They didn't want me?" I was questioning the world, questioning my parents. Questioning if God ever had mercy on me. "You never know, it could have been complications." He says strongly. "I was a complication?!" I shout and he cups my face, "Not like that baby. They could have had financial difficulties. Their living conditions could have been unfit for a precious newborn baby. They wanted the best for you. Wanted you to be happy." He says into my hair. I blink a few times and shake my head, "Or maybe they just didn't want me." I pull away from his embrace and I put my head down. He looks at me, his eyes glossy. "Do you want to find them?" He asks quietly.
His question takes me by surprise. "My-My real parents?" He nods. "I mean of course. But it doesn't make sense. My mother and I look just alike. I had the weight problem just like her." As much as I wanted it to be all a big joke. It wasn't. I was waiting to wake up in bed next to Elliot, curdled up against him as I awake from this terrible never ending nightmare.
But sadly...it was my sick reality.
"Sometimes when children are adopted. The birth parents request that the child is to be adopted by someone who is quite relatable to the child. Such as your similar brown hair and oval features." He explains. "Or my fat problem." I add, matter of factly. He narrows his eyes on me and sighs. "No Rayleen." He says flatly. I inhale and try to compromise. Keep an open mind right?
But I felt so betrayed. "How could she keep something like that from me?
I can understand my father but- actually no I can't understand my father. He lived to break my self esteem and just me in general. Why wouldnt he throw that in my face?" I ask. Elliot stiffens tensely and starts the car. "You know, the stuff he took was bound to be incriminating to him." He says.
"How so?" I ask.
"There was a recent will your mother updated. Why would he leave you the old one? He did that purposely. He knows you aren't stupid and set you up. He knew you would put the pieces together."
This was all like some fucked up Hitchcock Movie. "So he wanted me to find out that I was adopted?" I ask and he shakes his head from side to side. "Or maybe find out who your real parents are." He corrects.
God I wish Amy wasn't idle. I needed to talk to her, to vent. "That's too simple, why would he want me to know?" I question. "Why not?" Eli returns and shrugs. That was true. "In that case. I want to know. It'll take him by surprise." I say, finalizing. "Exactly. It's so simple he wouldn't think you'd do it."
God my boyfriend is a genius. "He thinks I'd be an emotional wreck and wouldn't want anything to do with them." I understand finally and nod. "So what do you say?" He asks. "Okay. Just don't-don't leave me there." I silently pray, my lips curving into a sad crooked smile. "I would never." Eli promises.
The GPS is one of the 21st centuries greatest inventions. Within an hour and a half we had arrived at a large building. My heart clenched together and Elliot stroked my hand. "I'm with you." He assured and kissed my knuckles. I nodded and watched as he walked around to open my car door. I sighed as he led me to the front, I felt mental nausea wash over me as I opened my eyes to the front desk.
An old grey haired woman stood in a swiveled chair, her glasses half off her face. Her small wrinkled eyes looked up at our awkward gaze. "Hello, now what may I help you two with?" She asks, her voice was venturing to my soul. Unleashing my true emotions in almost an instant.
"My name is Rayleen Banks. I'm-" I was cut off by the sudden impact of my tears. Elliot rubbed my back softly. "I'm sorry this is extremely difficult for her. We just found out hours ago that she was adopted from this agency." He spoke for me, as I covered my mouth and sobbed quietly into my hands. "Oh. This is usually the reaction. But please I assure you this agency is one of the finest in the nation. Kids are exported here to be given to grand parents." She spoke gently to me.
Export? What the hell where we? Cargo? And to grand parents? As in decent people?
A father who abused and let get molested?
That was fucking decent? "Please can you help find my birth parents?" I ask, silently through choked tears.
She smiled generously at me, "I'll try as best as I can. It may take days, even weeks maybe. But I'll do the best I can. I just need you to fill out forms." She informs and I nod and walk closer to her. "Is this your husband?" She asks and even through emotion, I flush. "Boyfriend." I whisper and she nods with a cheeky grin.
"Okay Ms. Banks, Ill send you to Sandy and then we'll start doing background information." She says gently and I nod.
Weeks. I had time to prepare for who my birth parents would be.
We sat in an odd sort of waiting room as Eli stroked my hair back. "How you holding up solider?" He asks with a soft smile. I look up at him, his perfectly sculpted eyebrows accented his bright chocolate brown eyes. "Fine. This is all so overwhelming. Plus I have to call my father and check on Amy." I groaned and rubbed my face. "Slow down baby girl. All in time. Lets just take one step, starting with this. Alright?" He says and I nod. A woman walks in with long hair that goes down her back, she's fairly odd but age has obviously treated her well.
"Ms. Banks, I presume." Her voice is gentle and serene, which was far from the situation.
I look up and extend my hand as we shake.
"I reckon you don't remember me. But I used to feed you the first five months you were born. I changed your diaper and even played with you. You were the quietest baby out of all."
Well somehow that's very hard to believe. I smile at her with glossy eyes. I had to admit, even hearing a complete stranger remember me, was beyond appreciated.
We were all silent for a moment and I could almost taste the awkwardness in the air. "So how can you find out about my birth parents?" I ask. Saying my 'real' parents sounded unfair to my mother...after all that's what she was regardless. She raised me- she loved me. I didn't need my fathers approval at this point. Because it seemed as though my birth father didn't want anything to do with me either. "We'd have to search through many files. But we'd be able to discover your mother much easier." She explains.
Sounds easy enough. The gray haired woman then entered the room with a sad expression completely plastered across her face. She held a folder in her hand and gave Sandy a look. "I'm sorry Ms. Banks. We retrieved her entire file, there are some unfortunate news in here. We aren't allowed to withhold any form of information. We will leave you two be." She hands me the file and her and Sandy slip through the door.
I hold the deathly file in my hand, shaking and swallowing deeply.
I probably had no saliva left to even consume. "Eli," I stop myself with a sigh. "I know. Whatever's in this file, it's okay. It will be okay." He assures. I give him a smile and I already feel the water works beginning and I haven't read anything yet.
My fingers slowly open up the brittle pages. "Rayleá Nevaeh Castóvial." I pause and smirk a little. "Rayleá?" I mumble. "Now we know what your name came from. It sounds like you're Italian as well." Eli says and rubs my back. I had to admit, this was exciting. "Born November 18th, she raised in Italy and moved to the U.S for opportunity." I speak out loud. I pause and rub my eyes, "She gave birth to a daughter, 7 pounds and 5 ounces." I frown. "That's odd. Is that normal?" I question. Elliot nods. So I continue. "Almost immediately after giving birth, her and the father of the child brought their daughter to the Julienne Adoption Agency." I pause and pick up the paper. "That's it?" I cry out. Elliot takes the paper from me and turns it around. His eyes glance over the back page and he stiffens. "Uh Ray?" He whispers. "What?" My voice is shaking. I can feel sweat droplets form on my forehead. He hands me the paper and my eyes scan it eagerly. "Rayleá was admitted in a Mental Institute at age 15 due to traumatic experiences after being abducted, drugged and raped multiple times and witnessing the morbid murder of her mother. After showing signs of improvement at age 23, she was released on probation. She then got pregnant and soon after having the child, threw herself off the top of a bridge-" I throw the paper on the ground and falls to my knees. "Oh my God." I whimper. My eyes felt like they couldn't even produce anymore tears. It was so overwhelming that I began dry heaving. Eli collapsed down next to me, pulling me close to him. I felt his heart beating as fast as mine. "Elliot, is this why I'm like this?" I asked between coughing sobs. "Her type of "mental state"-" I stop him. "Say it Elliot. Say it. Her insanity. The fact she was a nutcase. A lunatic. A physco!" I say, my tears drenching his shoulder as I push my arms on his chest and push him away. "No baby. She wasn't insane." Elliot prys. "Elliot. She threw herself off the top of a fucking bridge. How insane is that?" I breathe and shake my head in disbelief.
He stares at me and I know I got him. It's true. "Her mental state was not hereditary. She wasn't born that way and neither were you." I groan in annoyance and stand to my feet. "Then where was my father during this huh? She wasn't even married! My grandmother was apparently gruesomely murdered and my grandfather and father are nowhere in sight. Apparently males have some type of anti wanting with my family. So leave me here! Leave me to figure all this shit alone!" I'm screaming as if we're the only two people on Earth. "Now who's going to drive you home?" He questions and I grit my teeth and pick up the paper and rip it in half. "No Rayleen. Don't do that!" Elliot protests and rips the paper out of my hands. "No! You stop! This is mine! My mother!" I sounded like a child. I was aware of that. But nothing was mine anymore. Nothing belonged to me. Truly. I didn't feel like I had earned it. "I don't understand why you're pushing me away." Eli said clearly hurt. "I don't understand why you're still here!" I spat back. "You know what your issue is Rayleen? When something happens you crawl back into our shell. You put your guard up. Al your walls up and block everyone out. When something happens you want to go through it alone. Cause you hate to someone to see you like this-" I fall to the ground and cover my ears. "Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" I scream and fall to my knees. "Yell and scream at me all you want. I don't care. I'm not leaving." Eli says. How could I still hear him. "No. I don't want you here....I don't want you to see me like this...I can't handle it." I put my hands on the ground and sobbed like a mad woman. Wailing and groaning in mental agony. "I know . I know. If you can't carry your baggage, let me carry it for you." He speaks softly. "I can't. I can't let you do that." I whisper and take quick and short breaths. "You don't have a choice. I'm doing it anyways."
I finally look at him. His cheeks are flushed red and his eyes hold tears that slowly fall down his cheeks.
He was crying. "Why are you doing this?" The question was so absurd and yet so difficult to even ask.
"I told you- it's cause I love you Rayleen. Your mother would be so proud of you. In fact I'm certain she is. She's gazing down upon you in Heaven right now. After all- that's what your mothers middle name is in reverse." He says with a slight chuckle. I smile through tears and wipe my face. "Your father is out there. We'll find him. And I know he'd be proud of you too. Look at what you've accomplished. You finished high school and college. You've endured the impossible. Survived the worst. How could they not be proud of such a talented, beautiful and breathtaking daughter?"
I look up at him. Really look at him, as if his words meant something.
For once they did. He could have left.
Just left me there. But he didn't, he stayed. "Seriously. You drive me nuts. I've never let anyone talk to me like you do. You make me so damn angry when you back talk me. You piss me the hell of when you dismiss me from your presence. You floor me when you object and protest my love towards you. You're my only undoing. I'm unraveled. I'm a mere weak man under your spell. I don't know what you've done to me woman but if you don't see the impact you have on my life, your skull is even thicker than I thought." It was a serious conversation and yet a sly smile still forms across my face. "I'm sorry I was so cruel to you." I mutter and stand on to my feet. "I forgive you. You rip my heart out and rip it to pieces every time you tell me to leave. I can't bare to see you in tears like that. To see you so wounded. I just want to hold you." He pauses and inhales quickly. "May I?" He whispers, it's almost a croak. A nervous whimper from his lips. "Please." I beg and stand to my feet and practically crumble into his arms. I felt safe. He truly was my safe haven. He was protecting me. Covering me. He was mine. Ultimately
We went home after that, after picking up Jinx to bring her to Eli's penthouse. We couldn't visit Amy because she was getting a CAT scan just for coverage. Linda went back to Utah for the night to collect her husband, which worried me since I never really bonded with him on any level. Eli was trying to convince me to go out to dinner with him.
But I wasn't having it.
"Rayleen, I just want to dress up and take you out." Eli protest and I groan, "No. I'm having an insecure moment and don't feel like getting into any clothes." I silently admit. "What do you mean?" He asks wildly at me. "I don't feel like fitting my disproportionate body into anything." I mumble. His eyes widen and his bak straightens, "Where did the sudden insecurity come from?"
I frown and look away. "I just get it randomly sometimes. And I guess the sudden information about, being adopted and my mothers state, sort of reignited the feelings." I felt insecure about everything at the moment.
It wasn't his fault, I was always like this. For as long as I could remember. He has an odd look in his eye, one that makes my stomach clench sensually. "You're insecure at the moment?" He questions. And I nod. "Come," He suddenly demands and grasps my hand.
He leads me to the Room of Mirrors.
Oh.
As soon as we walk in, the entire atmosphere shifts. My exterior, my aura, my being is below Eli's, under him. But not in a negative way. As if I was under his wing, his protection, his every command. "What are you insecure about Rayleen?" His question catches me off guard. No one has really asked me that question before and it completely shocks me. "Everything." I squeak. His jaw locks and his gaze meets mine. "I want detail. Show me." He orders.
I take heavy breaths and look down at myself. And frown. "My stomach." I mumble. He's silent and the Room of Mirrors is consuming me. "Touch it." Eli says softy and I look up at him and notice he's sitting on the bed, observing me. "Excuse me?" I say flatly. "Touch your stomach." He says sternly. My eyes flutter in surprise and I slowly probe my stomach. My throat clenches almost immediately. "What do you feel?" He asks. "Fat." I say in a hushed tone, as tears brim from the corners of my eyes. He walks over to me slowly. "Now lets take off this shirt and see if we can identify anything wrong with you." He mumbles and slowly lifts my shirt over my head, leaving me in my pink bra. His fingers strum across my stomach and around to my back. "All I see and feel is soft silk skin. A beautiful belly. I could kiss it all day." He whispers and plants a kiss right under my belly button, causing me to bite my lip. "What else is wrong with you?" He asks looking up at me. "Thighs." I whisper. He sighs and gives me a playful look and thumbs the hem of my pants and brings them down my hips. He grabs my thighs and slowly brings his tongue on them and circles it around. My knees practically buckle. He kisses the inside of my thighs and looks at me. "Beautiful thick thighs that leave my mouth watering." He groans and looks up at me.
"I see you still aren't convinced. I'm not going to punish you, I'm going to reward you for your strength today. Ready to play?" He asks and I nod. I needed this grounding. This reassurance and security. He stands to his feet and reaches in his pocket.
"You told me earlier you were scared of police officers. But in reality, it should be me you fear. After all they aren't the only one with handcuffs." He says craftily and retrieves handcuffs from his pocket. My body stiffens and he walks slowly to me, as if preying on me.
Holy Noah, there was a Flood in my panties!
He grips my wrists and puts them behind my back, fastening the handcuffs around them. "Don't pull on them too much or they'll leave marks." He warns cautiously. I swallow and keep my mouth closed. "You're awfully quiet today Kitten. You must've forgotten who you're with." His eyes turn dominant again. And I yearn for it.
I wish to defy him more. Maybe the more defiant I am, the more dominant he'll be. And that's exactly what I want. His jaw clenches and his hand snakes up around my neck. "Slave." He wants me to reply to him. So I do. "Elliot." I say back easily, with a smirk. I really pushed him now.
Within a swift movement. I'm on the bed, bent over. My face is buried into the comforter and suddenly I feel a hard slap on my bottom.
God yes! Punish me!
I practically want to yell. I cry out immediately as the spanks come in hard blows to my ass.
They pause for a moment, leaving me whimpering in need. And suddenly I feel something new.
I'm being spanked with some type of object that I thought was a flogger. But the leather strands wrapped around me, each time he came down.
Was this a cat-o-nine?
Oh goodness me.
The blows then came on my back and I squirmed. "Fùck!" I groan. And I hear the instrument drop. Eli grips my panties and with one yank, they're nothing but torn cloth on the ground. What the hell! But I was too aroused to care. Eli gripped my hair and pushed my knees up, my breasts were pressed against my knees and my ass was poked out. Oh god. "This seems to easy." He suddenly says with a sigh. What the... "Master please, fùck me!" I beg.
"I don't think you deserve it." He says and I feel his erection movie from my slit, all the way up to my-
Oh goodness me.
Fùck me plea-" he cuts me off by shoving his large throbbing length into my forbidden entrance.
"Master not there!" I protest. God this man was huge! I hear him chuckle and his hand rubs my ass. "You need to be more descriptive my dear." He reverts.
Got damn! Me and my smart mouth. He gives me slow strokes and spreads my àss for better access. I feel an odd sensation run through my body. "Oh God," I moan and slowly tilt myself back. The handcuffs were digging deep into my wrists but I didn't notice much. I felt myself clench around him and my pù ssy was aching for attention. He quickened his pace and I heard his groans of approval. Everything was convulsing and the pleasure was so erotic, he was slapping up against my pù ssy with each stroke. "Please don't stop!" I cried out.
"That's right my little whòre. Beg for it." He groans and spanks me again. "Please Master. Faster!" I cry out and his hand slips under and begins rubbing my clít.
Ohhhhhh God! This is just what I needed. "Yes! Like that." I moan and my back arches in and I feel my òrgasm building. Sweat trickled across my forehead and I bit my lip. "You like me fùcking your àss, whòre?" He asks and he's slamming into me. "Yes! God yes! I love it." I moan and turn my head to look back at the erotic scene. He pauses and I whimper in the empty feeling I feel. "Show me. Throw it back."
I'm officially a fùcking nympho.
He told me to fùcking throw it back.
I grind my self back and meet his deep thrust and my lips form the perfect 'o'. His eyes narrows and his eyes roll back. "Please. I'm so close." I whimper and he grips my hips tightly. His thumbs digging into the dimples in my back and roughly fùcks me.
Over and over.
Harder and deeper.
"Yes! Oh god yes!" I moan and feel my orgasm wash over me. The heat that I'm absorbing from his body. And I feel it, even in my pussy. He soon follows me in an overwhelming ó rgasm.
We lay there for a moment and he pulls out of me and stands to his feet. "But..." My voice trails off as I glance at him again. He smirks, "One ó rgasm. That was your reward. You would have gotten a good long fùck to your little pùssy, given you hadn't did that little stunt in the car." He says, stroking my spine and I moan on instinct. "You're so cruel." I mutter. "Never that Kitten. Just strict. Tomorrow we could go back to the agency if you'd like? To find your birth father." He whispers, changing the subject. "I'd like that. And after that can we go see Amy?" I ask hopefully. "Yes of course. How do you feel?"
What did he mean? Mentally or physically? "Emotionally, I'm numb. And physically, I'm sore." I reply, straining my neck to see him. "Emotionally numb? Do we need to look into therapy ?" I see the grin on his face and I know his humor. "Only if its sexual therapy." I murmur with a grin. "That's my girl. Always insatiable. Now if you excuse me, the office is loaded with paper work. I'm balancing both yours and mind." He says and my heart drops. "I'm sorry! Let me do them! I need something to do anyways." I insist but he holds up his hands. "Nope. You haven't gotten a rest in 24 years. I don't want you to even think about work. Not even a pencil. Just relax your pretty little mind. Alright?" He was so good to me. So good for his own good. "Okay. Thank you. I appreciate what you're doing for me." I say and watch as he walks towards the door. "Anything for you Princess. " he calls back. "I love you boyfriend." I quickly add. " I love you more girlfriend." He chimes with a grin and slips through the door.
What was he grinning about?
Oh fuck. I was SO going to get him back.
The bastard left me handcuffed!
~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N thank you guys for your nonstop support and kind comments.
On my profile I have a new book called She, that I'm soon going to begin. And if you like Possession and or Black N Blur- or both. Then you'll LOVEEEE the next one. Of course it's an erotica. So go check it out and leave me tons of comments. Who knows. I may start it sooner than August...
Anywhore, here's the update I promised.
Be good, slaves!