(2 years ago past tense)
Jungkook pouted widely at me. I can't believe he's trying to use innocence on me.
"Jungkook if you don't listen to me I won't do as you ask."
"Didn't I say we should make a sex tape?"
"Why do you want me to fuck you so badly?"
"I question myself too Jimin as to why I want you so badly."
"Why do you keep bothering me about it."
His eyes glimmered a little. That was the first time I've actually seen his soft fade in which shocked me a bit because the look in his eyes were so different from all the times I've seen him always horny wanting sex with me like usual.
"Because I want someone to love me."
"But Jungkook sex isn't always love."
Jungkook paused with a smile and laughed for a second making me look at him with suspicion as to why he looked so sad but with a smile stapled to his face.
"Because I've never met someone quite like you Jimin and I trust you enough for you to take my virginity because I know you wouldn't leave me after all the bullshit I would give you."
"And what if that's not true Jungkook."
"But you wouldn't. Right Jimin?"
He's right about that. I couldn't disagree because it was too true to be a lie. I wouldn't leave him. Even if he fucked someone else which he did I'd still be here. I guess I'm very fond of him and have a caring place for him inside my heart.
"No I wouldn't leave you Jungkook. But you gotta listen to me more ok? Be more obedient to your older hyung."
Jungkook sounded a "mhmm." , with his closed lips. I placed my hand on his noticing something was still off.
"You need to go put clothes on Jungkook. Or people are going to wonder why a nude porn star is walking outside with me."
"Wait we're going somewhere Jimin?"
"To get you food because you haven't eaten for the past 24 hours."
I sat down on the bed waiting for Jungkook to be done changing and when he did he out of nowhere hopped on me, his knee caps on my thighs and his arms around my neck coming in for our foreheads to connect.
"Does it mean we're dating then Jimin?"
I didn't know if it meant we were dating. But looking back at the moments we had from when I first met him I did develop feelings for him through those months I've been with Jungkook.
When we first locked eyes I though it was stupid of me to catch feelings like love at first sight with my ex but it can happen if your really attractive to one person or you just feel the mutual between one another.
He also forced me to go inside that Ferris wheel one time. At first I hated how he pushed me but if he didn't id regret him not doing that to me.
And when he kissed me while I was fake sleeping in the car it's been two months ago since he did that but I can still feel the touch of it and remember the whole thing from the vibrations of his lips touching mines.
We also raced eachother to the top of the dorm room. I walked in when he scared me from behind and tackled our bodies together down on the bed and that was the first time we actually kissed where I was awake instead of fake sleeping. The taste of his inside mouth was pleasing. It tasted like fresh sweet mint. That was my favorite flavor most of all especially ice cream.
But I also remember the bad times where he didn't have sex with Taehyung but he grinded into him with their clothes on. Even if it wasn't sex it still hurts like a bitch. And the countless number of girls he fucks with is outstanding. He sure is a fuckboi. But I came to understand everyone does this. Everyone can make mistakes and be selfish. It's not like Jungkook is the only one to do this in the world but it still fragments my heart into little pieces.
Another thing is I'm still trying to think about what my feelings are towards Yoongi. I don't know what it is. It's not that I like Yoongi in a loving way but I have a care for him that I don't even know how to say it. But there's one word that could explain it easier then a whole paragraph about how I feel. It's empathy for what I feel for Yoongi. It isn't love but a emotional feeling of wanting to protect Yoongi is what I think I feel for Yoongi.
On the other hand Jungkook is slightly different from Yoongi. Nevermind that it isn't slightly but rather the difference is a big gap itself. Jungkook got me mesmerized the first day I saw him when I moved into this dorm. And how his personality was so straightforward even made him more attractive.
Yoongi is too but the way Jungkook says things or does little actions on me caught my attention. But it could be that I know Yoongi a little bit better and we have a longer past maybe that's why because I'm used to him being straightforward that is isn't a new thing unlike Jungkook who I only met a couple months ago but went really deep with each other.
I'm annoyed of the things Jungkook like how he keeps asking me to do stuff I don't want to do or how he keeps faking his innocence to take advantage of me but at the end of the day I still choose him over all the bullshit he gave me and the drama.
Hes made me feel broken inside but I still want him even if I know he'd probably break me down and shatter me into a heart that can't be replaced or be put back in a whole but if I go and leave him id feel guilty for some reason or rather more specifically an emptiness because he makes me happy. Just his existence next to me standing there makes me feel joy enough.
I also gave him myself where he sucked my dick and we kind of fucked for the first time but didn't go to that extent but I've grown to really love Jungkook. Not for sex or using him which I've never done before but I love him for who he is.
After thinking for a while about what Jungkook asked, "Does it mean we're dating then Jimin?"
After accumulating all of the past moments and thinking really hard if I was ready to go back to being in a relationship once again I realized I do love Junkook more then I know and more than my first love so I gave him the answer he was waiting for because it felt right and a good feeling.
"I guess it does Jungkook."
"I didn't force you right?"
"No you didn't Jungkook."
"I hope not Id feel sad if I did."
"Guess what I'm feeling right now."
"Nothing."
"No dummy."
"What then Jimin?"
"Happiness. I feel happy."
"Your so cheesy it turns me on but ayy that ass has-"
"Jungkook stop with the ass jokes."
"Are you on your period Jimin?"
"No."
"Do you know I'm pregnant?"
"Wait what?! You don't have a pussy."
"I'm pregnant because of you."
"Your lying aren't you."
"I'm pregnant because I'm looking at you right now. Did you know when you look at people Jimin you get them pregnant?"
I chuckled. I didn't even know what he meant but his weird randomness that pops out of nowhere makes me laugh so I go along with it because that's one of the things I adore from Jungkook.
"Oh I didn't know that."
"Don't give me that look Jimin."
"What ? You mean this?"
Biting my lower lip staring intensely back into Jungkook's eyes I licked my lower lip letting my tongue hang out to the side of my mouth but I giggled stopping what I was doing because Junkook was clearly frustated by his hormones like always whenever he was near me or saw me.
"Jungkook I don't know what it is but when I see you frustated over me you look like a child who doesent know what to do but is in shock with big eyes. I really like that expression on you."
"Are you trying to make me frustated again?"
"No I'm just really happy Jungkook."
(10 minutes later because food is important but not as much as jikook and their sextape lmao)
Arriving at McDonald's. It was a cheap place but it was bomb. Loads of burgers and fries on the tray my eyes went wild looking at a hungry bunny devouring the shit out of the tray. He must've been hungry to the point he's not slowing down.
"Jungkook slow down. You might choke on your food."
But he didn't listen to me. He continued to eat like that until I heard him choke. My body did this on its own reacting to come to his side and pat his back really hard giving him some water to clear what was stuck down his throat.
"You should've listen to me Jungkook."
"I'm sorry Jimin. It's just I haven't eaten this good."
"What you mean?"
I sat down with concern of what he meant because everything worries me even if we're a second away from eachother.
"I've never had a full course meal like this. I was kicked out at 13 out of my moms house."
Usually I get sick of hearing people's stories because usually they lie to me about what they went through but I could tell there was sincerity in Junkook's tone of voice. I wanted to know who he was back then and his past because if I knew then id know why he's like this right now.
His pain of always looking sad but keeping a maintained smile. I thought maybe if I could just know his past I could be there for him as a boyfriend and truly understand him better as a human being of what he goes through.
"Jungkook are you sure you want to tell me?"
He shoved a French fry into my mouth giggling at me but with sensuality.
"I'm positive. I trust you better than anyone else babe."
"Babe?"
Feeling embarrassed hearing Jungkook say that out loud to me I haven't heard that in a while but it's a good feeling causing me to feel warmth soak inside me. I was more shy and timid while Jungkook was careless and free. Somehow were different but we click together.
"I want to know you better Jungkook."
He laughed quietly, that laugh I always loved to hear coming from his mouth.
"But I'm not interesting."
"You don't need to be interesting Jungkook. When I first saw you I was already interested but I was scared to go through my past again because I tend to fall in love easily and it turns to be a disaster."
"Well we didn't turn out to be a disaster even though there were big flaws in our relationship but you could say every relationship goes through that but you have to learn to love eachother through it all Jimin. That's why in a relationship there's not 1 person but 2 so when we're falling into a state of not knowing what to do we have the other person to carry us back up."
No ones ever said that to me. It shocked me more then it should've because even though Jungkook doesn't say much he understands a lot for a 16 year old who's about to turn 17.
"Jimin I want to learn more about you though."
"You did. Remember at the Ferris wheel when you asked me those questions?"
"That's not what I mean."
I opened my mouth about to say something but the words that continued flowing out of Jungkook's mouth caught me in a faze.
"I want to learn what your past is. Who you are as a person. Your smile. Your laugh. What you like to do. What you dislike to do. The foods you like and don't like to eat. What your first and last name means. How you walk and talk. Why your so cute and adorable. What you do when boredom strikes. What you wear and don't wear. Why your voice sounds so utterly attractive and sexy at the same time especially your morning tired voice. How you position in bed when you knock out. What your warmth feels like if I hug you at night to sleep. Your bare face. And your naked body to see all the scars and hurt you have been through, to study the beauty of your figure because Jimin your nude body is beautiful. Be confident in that body of yours because I'm in love with it. Not for sex but it's art to me. Your whole existence is like a painting. Too beautiful to be realistic."
Pushing myself to not tear up because through all these years not once, never in my whole life no ones complimented on if I was beautiful or if I was handsome where I thought I had to fix these flaws on me and not be in my natural state of self. No ones ever told me they wanted to know more about me in a way like that.
But what made me begin to look down at the table with my hands in my lap feeling my eyes begin to sweat is when Jungkook said, "Jimin your too good for this world. You deserve better."
-
And this adds up for the long hiatus so be happy guys I just WROTE ALL OF THIS RIGHT NOW AND ITS PRETTY LONG LMAO
P.s: also (2 years ago past tense and 2 years later present time) well what it is . It's like what happened in the past and present time is what's happening right now. The past is when Jungkook was still a young teen around 16 almost turning 17 and the present time is when he's around 17 turning 18 so I go back and forth but I hope it made more sense now, also while Jungkook in the past is 16 Jimin is 18 and when Jungkook in the present is 18 Jimin is 20 so yeah I hope it makes more sense lmao I'm bad at explaining sorry guys
This shit was so long I hope you guys liked it because I wrote this all right now without revising it on first hand but I know yu guys wanted it so I felt
Bad and did an update :) but damn jikook was intense in this chapter as hell but I ain't complaining ;)