Charlotte entered the canteen in a daze, unable to shake the chill from her encounter with the threatening man in the yard. The canteen felt safe and warm compared to the lonely coldness she had come from.
She forced her shoulders down, trying to feign a sense of calm, she certainly no longer felt. She needed to appear normal, contented for her own sake. She was certain James would be as dismissive of her worries now and he had been the night before. It didn't help that their day had started and continued as normal. She had half-expected their new world to be torn apart before breakfast, but as the day had worn on and their routine had continued as it always did, it seemed nothing out of the ordinary was going on at the compound at all. Or at least she had come to that assumption, before she had met the strange man once more.
Charlotte exhaled, trying not to dwell on the worry she was trying so hard to ignore. Instead she mustered her energy and continued across the canteen. It was a huge square room with shiny, white laminate covered tables and benches, which made the room seem starker than it really was. Fluorescent lighting illuminated the white walls and the grey linoleum floor, offering it little warmth or homeliness. It was clinical, clean and simple.
On one side of the room, they served the food from behind great silver stations, huge, monstrous serving counters, steaming with food. The food didn't taste of much, making it almost impossible to tell what meat you were eating. Everything had a general saltiness to it, one thirst-inducing flavour.
Charlotte strolled along by the wall, her feet carrying her automatically to their usual table furthest from the serving counters. She ignored the other students gathered, only aware of the merry din they were creating, completely unaware of the growing threat that had arrived within the compound.
"Hey," Ian nodded as she sat down opposite him. He didn't look up at her. With great care and precision he was dissecting a huge slice of cheese-cake, seeming to labour over what part he would eat next. Charlotte frowned at him before shaking her head and shrugging out of her jacket.
"Hi," she breathed, a little relieved that he was the only one sitting at their table. She didn't need James fussing over her in front of everybody, trying to convince her she was exaggerating.
"How was your day? Old Maxie keeping you busy?"
"He's trying," she shrugged. "Same questions every day – I am still hoping he will get the point soon and realise I don't have a clue what they did to us at Kingston".
"Who caved first today?"
"He did," she whispered, chewing the nails on her left hand and thrumming the fingers of her other hand against the table.
"What is up with you?" Ian asked frowning. "I haven't seen you this irritated since before you vanished from Kingston".
Charlotte pressed her lips together, removing her hands from sight and sitting on them to hide her distraction. "Nothing - I just..." she sighed, closing her eyes.
Ian would be of little help to her current problem. He was not exactly the best at giving rational advice, though he was pretty adept at telling her what she wanted to hear. He had the same, reckless and short-tempered reactions as she did. But that would hardly do now. It wouldn't be worth the argument with James in any case. No - now she needed sane, sensible advice; now she needed Iseult.
Though that wasn't an option anymore. Iseult was gone. Bennett had made sure of that.
"Kiya told me what happened last night," he said in an offhand, awkward sort of way, interrupting her thoughts.
Charlotte didn't respond, but met his blue-eyed gaze with a million questions she didn't want to voice.
"Your alteration decided it wanted a midnight snack?" he asked, raising an orange eyebrow.
Charlotte smiled despite herself. "Something like that".
"Who was the intended appetiser?" he asked.
"I don't know," she said, glancing about her before meeting his gaze again. "Somebody new... somebody bad".
"And did you attack whoever it was?" Ian asked, appearing a little too excited by the prospect.
"No," Charlotte said shaking her head. "Though I was pretty close to setting my alteration loose on him".
Ian cut a piece of his cheesecake with his fork and lifted it to his mouth, his forehead puckered in thought. "What do you mean he was somebody bad?"
Charlotte leaned towards him, suddenly afraid of who could be listening. "I felt it - the fear he has for us. He can't understand what we are, what we can do. He hates us because of it. He hates us, because he can't understand us".
"Maybe a little fear might work with these guys. We've been here for what feels like forever. He might just want to move us on," he shrugged.
"No, he wouldn't want that. He doesn't want us to exist. He wants to see us destroyed," she breathed. "I think that's why he came here".
Ian stopped eating, his fork hanging mid-air, the morsel of cheesecake balancing on it precariously. "Have you told James about this?"
"Yes," she grumbled. "Do you think he listened to me? He had all these excuses". She paused, scratching at the white laminate table top for a moment before sighing. "I wish Iseult was here. She would know what to do," she muttered.
Ian placed down his fork and rubbed his chin distractedly. He hadn't shaved in a while and a ginger fuzz was beginning to cover his jaw and cheeks. "I know it's not the same, but maybe Ethan could help. He is far more practical than James when it comes to these sort of things. He sees the bigger picture. James only sees you".
Charlotte smiled at the thought. "Since when did you become so wise?" she asked, resting her chin in her hand.
"I was due," he winked. "Though it looks like I will have to take up the sensible mantle around here if you are going to spend your nights, dream-stalking potential victims".
"You can try, but it's a lot of hard work," Charlotte grinned.
"We're really missing a vital member of the team without Iseult, huh?" he sighed, pursing his lips to the side. Charlotte smiled sadly at him, reaching out and squeezing his hand.
"I'll talk to Ethan," she nodded.
"Hey," Harris said appearing at the table and sliding in beside Ian. "They have cheesecake today?" Harris asked as Ian shoved the remaining morsel of cake into his mouth.
"Nah," he said, spraying the crumb base across the table. "Stole it from the guards' canteen. They get the best stuff".
"Ah man," Harris sighed, looking extremely let down by Ian' news. "Are you always on the prowl for food to steal?"
"Sure am," Ian nodded, swallowing.
"Well keep me in mind next time," Harris said. "I would kill from some cheesecake".
Ian nodded, running his finger over his plate to catch the remaining crumbs. "Will try, but can't promise anything".
Harris rolled his eyes, fixing his gaze instead on Charlotte. "James came to see me this morning," he said, in a suggestive tone.
Charlotte sat up narrowing her eyes.
"He said you were having trouble sleeping and asked if I could give you something to help," he offered, his tone deliberately light.
"If you bloody well dare, Harris, I promise you I will make you pay," she hissed, jabbing her finger at him. "James is making that up. I am sleeping perfectly well. He is just..." she trailed off, her anger garbling her words.
"Right..." Harris frowned. "Got it - don't listen to James anymore, especially when he's worried about you".
Charlotte glared at him. "Don't you dare try and make me feel guilty. He is making it seem like I'm... sick or something. I am not sick. There is nothing wrong with me".
"I can see that," Harris shrugged, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing.
"I need to find Ethan," she breathed, standing up and grabbing her jacket.
"You haven't eaten," Ian grumbled, staring at her as if she was mad.
"I'm not hungry," she muttered, turning away from them without as much as a good-bye.
She found Ethan in his room, and she was a little ashamed when she realised how relieved she was that James wasn't there. She didn't know if she wanted to tell him about her second encounter with the man, the man he had prevented her from killing less than twenty-four hours before.
"Oh, hi Charlotte - James isn't here," Ethan said when he opened the door. "I think he was with Fiennes today. He hasn't come back yet".
"Good," she exhaled. "I wanted to talk to you actually".
"Oh - what about?" he asked.
Charlotte raised an eyebrow at him, knowing very well that if James hadn't gone running to tell him what had happened to her the previous night, Annakiya had. He grinned after a moment, his electric blue eyes crinkling as if he was reading her thoughts.
"Okay, so I know what you want to talk about," he said shaking his head and sitting down on the lower bunk. The room he shared with James was identical to the one she shared with Kiya. She shut the door and began pacing back and forth across the small space.
"Look, whatever James said, he was being overdramatic. I am not sick. I am not exaggerating. I am not... tired, or stressed or bored... I am not having trouble controlling my alteration," she started.
"I know," he nodded. "I told James as much - and Annakiya".
"Well..." she frowned, surprised by his ease.
She recounted for him what had happened the night before, and her encounter with the same man as she had crossed the yard. She tried as best she could to explain the fear she had tasted seeping from him, and the eerie and unusual strength he had at masking it from her.
"I don't really like the sound of this," Ethan said finally pressing his lips together. "This place has worried me, ever since we left Kingston. The power is completely with them, because we can't act against them".
Charlotte frowned, knowing that no matter what power their rescuers had, the students would easily be able to defeat them.
"We are strong and unknown. They don't understand us and that scares them," he explained. "They worry about what we might do when we are free. So, they are unwilling to leave us return to our families, to... civilisation, because they are afraid that once we are away from their watchful eye, we will use our alterations against them in some way".
Charlotte blew out her cheeks, ruffling her hair and gazing at Ethan.
Ethan clicked his tongue before continuing. "Okay, so if we behave now. We will show them how we are perfectly capable of leading civilised lives and that even in harsh conditions we will not attack. We will be model human beings," he said, creating the scenario for her.
"Yeah," Charlotte nodded warily.
"As long as we are well-behaved they won't act against us and they have no excuse to keep us locked away forever," he nodded. "Yet we will still pose a huge threat. Even if they keep us here for five years, we will still be too powerful to fully risk leaving back into society". He scratched his stubble-covered chin and gazed at her. "But here they lose and they know it, because if they try to keep us here, they know there will come a day where one or more of us say enough is enough and we fight to get out, or we just leave. What can they do to stop us?"
"Nothing," Charlotte said eagerly, as if it was the obvious answer.
"But then we are exactly what they feared we were in the beginning. We are the threat; we are the enemy number one. We will have no other choice than to go in to hiding and how will that fair for the younger ones, even if we can manage it?"
Charlotte worried her lip, seeing Ethan's point.
"So we have no other choice, than to sit here and allow them to decide what to do, even though physically we are stronger. We can't add to the perception that we are a threat. And now if it is as you say, this man is here with the sole purpose of destroying us despite our good behaviour - what choice do we have left? How do we defend ourselves?"
"We don't," she breathed.
To Charlotte's surprise Ethan smiled. "But we are so much more than physical strength. We need to be wary – yes, but we have strength in numbers. Think of the damage you could do, or Annakiya? Your alterations are silent, deadly. They can't defend against that".
Charlotte frowned, nodding slowly, trying to process what he was saying.
"Don't get me wrong – that is our last resort. We have to try the peaceful approach first. We have to be patient, to a point. We should wait and see what this man's arrival has in store for us. It may be nothing. People can hate something beyond all reason, but if they hold no power over that thing, then their hatred is empty. We will just have to ignore it".
Charlotte nodded, pressing her lips together and smiled. "Sounds simple".
"I hope it is," he frowned. "I believe everything you've said. I doubt he will be the last to hate us for what we are, but if it causes us no harm, it will only hurt us to dwell on it".
Charlotte exhaled, unaware that she had been holding her breath. Ethan's word had offered her momentary reassurance, taking the sting out of her own fear. "Thanks – I think I needed someone to actually listen".
Ethan scrunched up his mouth and bobbed his head, reading more into her words than she had actually meant. "I know it's not the same as having Iseult here, but if I can help... clear problems up – we had the same alteration".
"I'll keep that in mind," she whispered again, clambering to her feet. "It's good to know somebody seems to know what's going on here".
Ethan grinned, though his eyes remained sad, as if lost in a memory.
Charlotte thanked him again and pulled open the door, but hesitated. She turned around and glanced at Ethan, cocking her head to one side. "What if he does have power over us? What if he can harm us?" she whispered.
Ethan smacked his lips together, shaking his head and pulling himself out of his daze. He seemed to pause for a moment, contemplating her words before grinning crookedly. "Then we will give him something to fear".
Thanks as always for taking time to read my work! I hope you liked this chapter! If you did please let me know by voting and commenting! It would be wonderful to know you are enjoying Feared so far! Thanks again, Sorcha x