"Oh no." I stood still staring into my toiletry bag, noticing the unopened box of tampons that I bought a while ago, and the even smaller white box sitting beside it that I've been ignoring for just as long.
My mood swings.
My tiredness.
The uneasy sickness I get in the early morning no matter how many tums I pop in my mouth, I still get sick.
I've been ignoring the fact that I haven't gotten my period in a while, thinking it was just stress and me being hormones out of whack. In the past year, I lost the love of my life (even if he does stand outside this door) moved to Nashville, got a huge reality check when I realized I wasn't good enough to make it on my own, and now I'm at the last place I ever want to be at.
I reached blindly for that box and ripped it open. My heart was beating loudly in my chest and it took all I had not to shake while I followed the instructions.
I know I can't be, right? I mean, everyone skips a month or two.
Afterwards, I quickly continued what I came in here to do. Dry off, get dress and pretend like my life didn't hang in the balance.
5 minutes.
That's how long it takes.
I picked it up and held my breath.
"No," I stared at the little white stick in my hand, the prominent double pink lines looking right up at me. "No," I shook my head, "this can't be happening." I picked up the box, looking for the instructions to make sure that this couldn't be a possibility.
"Sadie? Are you okay in there?" Chase knocked on the door, his voice startling me so much I dropped everything on the floor.
"Um, yeah," I cleared my throat. "I'll be out in a minute!"
I picked up the stick and looked at myself in the mirror and down to my stomach. I gave a little smile as a small flutter went through my heart.
I'm pregnant.