"I CAN'T BELIEVE you nearly killed Mr and Mrs. Sanchez!" I say, hanging my laundry on my clothing rack. "And in their own store, nonetheless!"
"I don't see the problem here," Feia says, chewing on the bubblegum she asked from Bub when we returned to Hell not too long ago. "I mean, shouldn't the more people I kill be the better?"
I turn to face her. "Sure, but couldn't you have picked another target? Maybe someone who doesn't serve me?"
"Oh, for the love of—" She starts, but then stops herself. "Why didn't you tell me that you can make people forget?! I wouldn't have to apologize to them if they won't even remember a single thing that's happened!"
"Oh," I go back to hanging my clothes, already knowing Feia's reaction to my answer. "that's solely for my own entertainment."
"WHAT!" She exclaims rather than asks it, and I brace myself for the nagging that lies ahead of me. "You—"
"Asshole?" I say, cutting her off. "Piece of shit? Son of a bitch? Yeah, I get that a lot."
"Oh, actually," I can hear the smile in her words. "I was going to say 'Angel', but I guess those work too."
I turn around once again, my eyes narrowed at her. "You did not."
"Oh yes I did, My Lord."
"Mother of Satan," I mutter, rubbing my temples. "I've got a headache."
"As you should." She smirks at me from my bed, nodding in satisfaction.
"Which reminds me..." I say, lifting my head up slightly. "I've got another thing for you to do." This earns an immediate groan from her, a response of protest. "Don't worry, though, this one won't be too difficult."
"So is picking up your dry-cleaning, but somehow I was this close to draining the blood out of the laundry owners." She brings her index finger and thumb close to each other, emphasizing her words.
I open my mouth to argue for the sake of stalling her, but close it again once I realize that I really can't disagree with what she said—Feia really is terrible at doing all these human tasks. "You're not that bad." I manage to lie anyway, though I know that I'm not being too convincing.
"Oh, bullshit."
"Do you want to go in the Inner Circle or not?" I ask, knowing the only thing that lures her is her will to risk her own life. "The sooner you complete all this, the sooner you'll be able to see just what lies inside that hellhole."
Feia sighs, a grumpy look on her face. "Fine, what do you want?"
"I need you," I say, a grin creeping onto my face, "to babysit my niece and nephews."
||-:-:-:-:-:-||
"UNCLE DAEMON!" Arael shrieks, running up to Daemon. "Hey guys! Uncle Daemon is here!"
The other two, Xaeran and Medrin, who were on the floor coloring with blood, scrambles to their feet and follow Arael who is still running in my direction. Medrin is the last one to reach me, mainly because she was gathering all the paper strewn across the floor.
"Uncle, uncle!" Medrin pushes her two brothers aside, earning a scowl from the both of them. She simply glares at them, though, and the boys each take a step back, intimidated. She smiles in satisfaction, and looks up at me as she shows off her drawing. "Uncle, look at the picture I drew! Isn't it pretty?"
From my peripheral vision, I see Feia tilting her head to the side to see what Medrin had drawn, and seems to be taken aback to see an innocent-looking girl wearing a white, blood-stained dress. Medrin's drawing isn't that impressive, but it's good enough for anyone to tell what it actually is.
"Very pretty indeed! How are my favorite little devils?" I ask, bending down to ruffle their hairs. Medrin hugs my leg, but the boys disappear before I can even touch them.
"Awh, c'mon! Aren't we too old for that already?" Arael appears in front of me, arms crossed in front of him.
"Yeah, aren't we?" Xaeran stands beside him, imitating his older brother.
"You wish, kiddos. Now give your uncle a hug or there's no way the two of you are getting desserts after dinner." The boys grumble and complain, but do as they are told anyway. "Now that's more like it."
"Uncle, who's that?" Medrin asks, peeking at Feia who is standing behind me.
"Oh," I turn around, and motion for Feia to come closer. "Guys, this is Feia. She's my—"
"GIRLFRIEND?!" Squeals Medrin, making me cringe at the loudness of her voice.
"Oh, no. No, kid, not at all." Feia says, claiming her spot beside me. "I'm Laufeia. Otherwise known as his right hand."
For a moment the kids are quiet, their gazes shifting from me to Feia. After a while, though, Medrin slowly lets go of my legs and ask, "So... Not a girlfriend?"
I let out a light chuckle as I touch her hair. "No, Munchkin. Nothing like that."
"Then who are you?" Arael asks, tilting his head.
"Like she said, Rae; she's my right hand." I answer, nodding at Feia.
"But your right hand is right here," Xaeran says, taking my right hand and inspecting it. "Is this fake?"
"Oh no, of course not." I laugh, amused. "It just means that she helps me in ruling Hell." The three children mutter "ooh"s and "aaah"s, then finally nod in understanding. "Now Feia here will be taking care of all of you while I'm out. Can you promise me to behave?"
"Yes, uncle." The three answer in unison, and I nod in satisfaction before turning to Feia.
"All yours, My Sweet." I whisper in her ears, and quickly disappear before she even gives a reply.
Hopefully, nothing bad will happen while I'm gone.
||-:-:-:-:-:-||
"MORE DRINKS, Sir?"
"I'm quite alright," I mumble incoherently into the bed.
"Yes, Sir. Do call if you need anything." The succubus curtsies before scurrying off.
"Is the pressure enough, Sir?" The other succubus, who is massaging my back, asks.
"A little harder, maybe?"
"Of course, Sir." She says, and I feel more pressure on my back, but in a good away. I let out a contended sigh, satisfied with their services.
Now this is a perk of being Satan—who wouldn't want to get free massages and refreshments from multiple succubi?
"Oh," I say, propping myself up on my shoulders. "What time might it be?"
"Three-thirty, Sir."
"Two hours already?" I ask, incredulous, and sigh as I sit up. All the succubi back away from me, probably for fear of getting in my way. "Time to get back, then."
I snap my fingers and disappear.
||-:-:-:-:-:-||
"I'M BACK!" I announce, a wide grin on my face. It falters as soon as I see the view before me, however, and it feels as if all the massage and relax-time I'd gotten happened a century ago.
"Stop that, Goddammit!" Feia scowls, holding up Xaeran by his one foot. A loud crash comes from the corner of the room, and she swivels her head at the direction of the sound. "Hey!" She shouts, glowering at Arael. "Will you stop trying to fit your sister in that fucking pot?! You know that if you keep on trying to do that she will—" A boom sounds from the same corner, and Feia lets out a frustrated sigh. "... Blow it up." She finishes, a tired look on her face.
Blood is all over the floor, papers scattered all over the room in a very untidy manner. There is what looks like a live heart laying by the couch, though Satan knows just how that thing ended up in the room.
It's complete and utter chaos, really—I'm surprised that I still don't have any grey hair growing out.
"Oww, you little—" Feia starts again, but stops as soon as she spots me with my jaws slightly ajar. "Oh, you're back." She says, her face devoid of emotions.
"Uncle Daemon!" The kids squeal, and appear in a line in front of me. "You're back!"
"Uh, yes..." I say, still looking at how much of a mess Feia looks. "How was... Your day with Feia?"
"It was great!" Xaeran exclaims, unable to keep still. "She taught us how to kill!"
"She what?!" That would explain the heart. "Who? How? Why?"
"Yeah! It was so AWESOME!" Arael chimes in, nodding eagerly.
"Look, look! She made me this doll!" Medrin holds up an oddly familiar-looking doll in front of her. "See?"
"Is..." I look at the doll, then back at Feia. "Is that your sister?"
Feia shrugs nonchalantly, giving me a look that says, Whoops.
I bring a palm to my face.
Remind me to never trust her with these mundane tasks ever again.