[Charlotte Kendall]
I couldn't stop staring at this man in front of me. His tangled bangs were across his sleeping eyes and matted down with little sections of sweat. He sometimes stretched awkwardly underneath my head that was still rested on his naked chest. I guess laying down in this bed of grass made everything a little more uncomfortable for the both of us but I was with Ashton. . . therefore I wasn't ever going to complain. His rising chest moved with the sweet sounds of his soft snores again as I lifted my hand to wipe the hair from his over his eyelids. I moved my back arm over his stomach and grabbed the band of his briefs just for comfort. I didn't mean to wake him after that.
Ashton shifted under me and pulled his arms over his head to stretch. I sat up, covering my arm across my breast bashfully before staring down at him in silence. When he came to and opened his stunning hazel eyes up at me my heart leaped, "Hey beautiful." He smiled.
I had no words to explain why I was feeling like I was in middle school again. It was the same feeling as always, butterflies and tight knots tugging inside my stomach. . . the feeling I learned that only Ashton ever gives me. Every time Ashton and I wounded up messing around in the jungle the butterflies were always something in the back of my head yet for once, in this moment, the real words I wanted to say to him never came out of me. After everything we've been through together this entire month, you would think It would be easy to just come right out and tell him what I've felt for him. Yet, I was a coward towards rejection.
"Hi," I squeaked. If I couldn't tell him that I loved him before the sex, than I doubt I could be able to tell him after we had sex.
I was getting shy just sitting bare in front of Ashton suddenly so I leaned forward again and rested my chin to his stomach before kissing his smooth skin underneath me. I pulled my hands under my chin and rested them there in deep thought. Neither of us could look away from each other which suddenly made everything go fuzzy.
"We-We should probably head back before the sun comes up in a couple of hours." I add.
He moaned a bit, dropping his palm down to help guide my cheek closer to his face. I scooted in and faced him close enough for another kiss. However, when I didn't lean in as fast as he did his eyes got fixated on my own concern, "What's wrong?" I adverted my eyes away from him and sit back up, suddenly shy, "Hey, Char. . . What are you thinking about?" Ashton sat up beside me, scooping his arm behind my lower back as I tried to pull away to cover my body.
I couldn't look him in the eyes again but I already knew what he looked like, anxious with that little twitch in his deep dimples. He tried to pull me closer into his side but I turned quickly to look for my clothes.
I wasn't trying to give him the cold shoulder on purpose, I guess I'm just so scared about what we've been doing that my feelings for Ashton are suddenly brainwashing my entire body. Thirty-two days, It took thirty-two days to fall in love with a stranger. I almost felt heartbroken at this moment because I couldn't tell him that I loved him last night. . . and hearing him not saying anything under those lines either pretty much signified that this was all wrong between us. So I couldn't look him in the eyes this time. It was a better idea to just head back to camp to cool down for a moment here.
"Do you-" I start, tilting my head up slowly, "Do you think what we just did was a big mistake?" The taste in my mouth felt bitter after they just flowed out. I heard Ashton gulp in front of me and I instantly wanted to take back my confession, "Wait I mean. . ." I pull my head up in regret and hold my hands out towards him, "I-It was amazing but this. . . this shouldn't have happened here." I stuttered once seeing Ashton's expression. His face washed away the rosy glow and ashed over in a heartbroken white. Oh my God I felt horrible.
He sighed turning his face from me. I wanted him not to reply, I really wish he hadn't asked or that I didn't have to be so honest. Ashton huffed again before leaning back into the grass and throwing his hands up behind his neck. I watched his bare chest rise in the moonlight repeatedly as he took in his breath to speak, "So you- you don't regret anything between us but you regret it being here. . . on this island?" I felt a little relieved that he kind of already had it all figured out.
I sigh, "I know it sounds stupid-"
"No," He shook his head side to side in the grass before pushing off onto his elbows again. My heart started racing again once he placed his hand on top of mine, "You have the right to feel that way Char. If we never ended up here. . . I think time would have gone by slower between us."
I blinked at him painfully, "But in a perfect world, Ashton if the boat made it. . . you and I, we wouldn't have even met." It was so hard to spit out that last sentence.
He licked his lips and rubbed a hand down the front of his face before looking up at me with a small smile. I huffed to the side and looked away again before he finished off quietly, "I'm not so sure about that."
My chest was pounding on this inside but I chose to keep ignoring it. I pushed away from his side to throw my bathing suit top on again, keeping my body busy so I don't shake. As I struggled to get the straps around my neck Ashton made a slight humming noise while watching me. I glanced at him through my hair and noticed the soft smile on his lips still. At this moment I wanted to tell him how I really felt but he looked away bashfully and I instantly felt scared again. It was sickening to my stomach until I got my shirt back on and laid back down, with my head rested beside his.
He started to star gaze mindlessly past the trees above us. It was pointless for me to join because I only ended up staring at him the entire time. We maybe laid there for several more minutes in silence, admiring the empty world around us. I wondered about our perfect world and maybe I was wrong like Ashton had mentioned to the side. Maybe this is our perfect world. . . The beautifully tragic world that hit us all like a train straight on. Yet I also couldn't stop thinking about what Ashton mentioned to the side lastly. He didn't seem to think that we would have gone separate ways without crossing paths. And now it was pretty much clear to me too. I met Ashton three times, once before the tragic, then during and now after.
I finally brought myself back into the reality and tilted my head towards Ashton. His eyes were closed again with his lashes fluttering gently in his half asleep state. I don't know what my urge was but i just sat up and kissed him. His eyes never opened to mine but his lips responded immediately. We both sat up again with Ashton's hands around my waist, tugging my thighs over so that I could straddle him. I'm sure we would have continued where we left off if it weren't for the rattling response in the vines behind us.
I pulled away and gently shoved my palms into his chest before climbing off of him to cover myself. Ashton crawled to his knees and looked past the grass blades to see the shadows running beside the lagoon. "Hello! Ashton!" It was Brandon's voice on the other side. Sure enough he came running out onto the slope in a hurry, "Charlotte? Anyone here!" He sounded horrified and exhausted.
I moved to answer Brandon but Ashton threw out his arm in front of me. I gasped and looked at him, confused. He lowered our bodies behind the grass as Brandon ran towards the lagoon, kicking at the water and grabbing his hands through his dark hair. He looked like he was going to loose his mind.
"Ashton, what are you doing?" I hissed quietly as Ashton turned again, throwing his finger up between his pursed lips.
"Stay hidden for a moment, we can't let him suspect anything." He shushed me.
I pulled my eyebrows together like he was out of his mind. Why did I have to stay hidden? Yet I didn't have a chance to ask that before Ashton was back to his feet, grabbing his pants from the ground and trotting out behind the grass bed.
"Mate?" I heard him reply to Brandon's panic.
"Thank God I found you!" Brandon huffed in exasperation. I pulled a little bit of the grass blades back to watch the two beside the lagoon. Brandon was sweaty but just looked so frightened out of his mind. I was about ready to throw my middle finger up at Ashton's command and go hear for myself why Brandon was so on edge.
"Whoa! Brandon what's going on?" Ashton exclaimed.
I leaned in closer and watched Brandon place his hands to his hips before leaning forward to take in a breath, "Well. . . us three woke up and you guys were all gone! Denise was panicked and had us split up to look for you."
I swallowed tightly and moved away from the end of the grass to look for my top and bottoms as Ashton spoke out next, "What three? Me and Ch- I mean I just came out here. . . for a piss." My chest froze and I sat up with my back facing them now.
"Did you see Charlotte?" Brandon's voice was curiously intent.
"E-earlier. . ." Ashton stuttered.
I inhaled sharply before seeing my shirt in the spot where Ashton once was laying. I grabbed it quickly and threw my arms inside before tugging it over my head.
"And Michael?" I heard Brandon mumble in the thin air. My heart skipped a beat. I was just talking to Michael hours ago how could he be missing? I turned over onto my hands and knees again and peered through the grass.
"What do you mean?" Ashton looked at him suspiciously.
"Michael and Charlotte are missing." Brandon pointed out. My lips turned into a thin line.
"No Char-" Ashton starting pointing towards my direction and I quickly ducked behind the grass. Brandon looked my way then back at Ashton who dropped him hand in embarrassment, "I just saw her, she headed back to camp." He lied.
Luckily Brandon just went with it and widened his eyes at Ashton's slide by lie. "Okay then she should be back with Denise. We better head back so we can find Michael. You don't have any idea where he could be?" He asked before turning around, calling back over his shoulder.
Ashton shook his head and finished buttoning off his jeans before calling back at Brandon who was now jogging back up the slope, "Yeah mate, I'll be right behind you!" I don't think Brandon heard because he was already past the vines, running back to the beach.
I crawled out from behind the grass once the coast was clear and ran over to Ashton with his shirt in my hand. "So this was your idea and you almost didn't pull it off." I say as I hand him his ripped tee.
He takes it and sighs, "Where do you think Michael went?"
"I don't know. . . I've been a little occupied to even notice he was missing." I admit, rubbing the back of my neck as he tosses his shirt over his head. Just by the movement of his flexing muscles had me aggravated.
"Okay, well just wait here for a few minutes before following me. Brandon already expects something. . ." He said his face fixated on concern again. I know he was concentrated on Michael
"Ashton-"
"It'll be okay," He cut me off, grabbing my arm to pull closer to his side. He kissed the top of my head and then brought his finger over to tilt my face up towards his, "I'll see you soon." He half smiled before swiping the his thumb across my chin kindheartedly.
I parted my lips in despair as he ran off towards the beach without me. This was a terrible idea to split up like this. With Michael missing and Benson out God knows where everything felt eerie. I crossed my arms over my chest and stood there, staring at the slope beside the lagoon where both boys foot prints led to the other side. It was suddenly starting to get cold and I realized my bottoms were still missing.
As I turned to go look for them in the grass bed a shadow ducked beside me and made me jump backwards into a chest. I yelped in fear but a hand came up too quickly to cover my mouth. My body was pulled backwards right as my knees dropped to the mud. I tried to scream again but whoever had his hands on me kept his rough grip over my mouth and nose, suffocating me the harder I resisted. I was losing air inside my lungs and my body was beginning to shut down. My legs no longer put up the fight that I needed, until I was dragged opposite of the slope and opposite of where Ashton was headed.
[A/N]
It's almost 10 pm where I am but I really wanted to post this chapter now so that I can work on the next one tomorrow. Before I go to sleep I just wanted to thank all my new readers who keep voting on my chapters and giving back amazing feedback I love you!
Lastly, I am proud to say that I only have 5 more chapters planned for this book! I'm so excited for what's to come and I really want to thank those of you who have stuck to my side during this entire writing process. Happy Reading -Rae
Chapter Songs:
Purpose- Justin Bieber
Pillow Talk- Zayn
War is Love- Bobby Andonov