Light of day rested on my eyelids but they remained close, I spent a while in that in between space of awake and sleep. Once my eyes were open there wouldn't be any turning back, I'd have to face the day with everything that came with it. Eventually I peeled my eyelids and took in a deep breath before sitting up.
In the distance I could hear the echoes of my classmates going through the halls. Part of me wanted to be with them but something else told me that it was better to be asleep or to ignore the world, I didn't know what to do but then remembered that I was supposed to talk to some kind of wizard shrink this morning.
Wanting to be properly dressed, I scooped my clothes from yesterday and scurried off to the bathroom. Coming out of the bathroom, Madam Pomfrey and a short wide fellow with dark purple robes and a pointed hat stood at my vacant bed. Madam Pomfrey took notice of me and smiled a little bit.
"Ah there you are miss Evans, this is Mr. Pinagree, Mr. Pinagree this is miss Raven Evans." Mr Pinagree bowed his head a little, so that his hat wouldn't move from the top of his head.
"Pleasure to meet you Miss Evans, would it be alright if we spoke in private for a bit?" he asked, his voice a lot deeper than what I would have expected to come out of him. Nodding I moved past Madam Pomfrey and went around Mr. Pinagree and sat on top of my bed, with my legs hanging over the side.
"Now, Miss Evans, would it be alright if I called you Raven?" he asked. I nodded, he smiled and pulled out a notepad and a quill.
"Madam Pomfrey told me about the news of your grandparents and I am so sorry that it happened. It must have been pretty devastating for you?" he asked. I nodded, he smirked at me. "Now Raven, this will go better if you talk to me. I understand that talking to a stranger about something so personal is a little intimidating but it'll help me understand you better, alright?" his voice had a soothing tone to it. He spoke to me like I was scared animal he had been trying to coax out of hiding.
"Alright," I muttered.
Mr. Pinagree and I spoke about my grandparents, how it felt to live with them, how it felt to lose them. He asked about my "support system" and whether or not they could be relied upon. We talked about my father, I told him who he was because I knew it wasn't going to affect him in anyway. He offered some advice and funnily enough, I felt better afterwards.
When we were done, he excused himself and spoke with Madam Pomfrey. It had just been a few moments that Mr. Pinagree had left that Grace had come in with Isla on her tail.
"Raven! I am so sorry that we didn't come earlier, I was so worried about you! How are you?" Grace asked desperately. I nodded.
"I'm a little bit better today, thanks. How are you two? What have I missed?" I asked. They both glanced at one another, debating on whether or not they were going to say something. "What?" I probed.
"Well you haven't missed much because you've... been the talk of school. I've been hearing people call you Moaning Myrtle's replacement," Isla commented. My face remained stoic as my heart heaved a sigh.
"Well that's just great so long as no one starts taunting me, we'll be fine," I responded coolly. Both girls glanced at one another again, as if shocked by my response.
"Do you have my homework, Grace?" I asked. She blinked a few times before nodding and getting them out of her backpack.
"Well Miss Evans it seems to Mr. Pinagree that you are good to go back to your dormitory but take it easy for today. Tomorrow you may resume your classes," she ordered. I gave her a small smile of appreciation then hopped off the bed.
"Thank you Madam Pomfrey." Walking in between two of my good friends I walked back to Hufflepuff. Trying to manage the sadness I still felt. I knew that it wouldn't go away for a long time but I couldn't let my grades fail plus with friends like mine, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I was back to my old self.
October!
It had been two months since I found out that my grandparents were killed by Death Eaters and that the whole time they knew who my father was and didn't bother to tell me. I wanted to be angry at them for not telling me everything but I just couldn't be angry because I was still grieving. Things went back to normal after a while, I didn't tell anyone about Snape being my dad because that would have been a social suicide and I was not ready for everyone to start asking questions about my dad and my mom. I didn't even have any answers because my gran always told me that Lily was married only once but when she told me that James hadn't been my father I thought my mother was some kind of tart and a part of me still thought of her like that because she must've slept with my dad then got herself pregnant two years before she got married to Harry's dad and Heaven knows how many other guys my mom could have slept with. I could have more half siblings.
It was Halloween and I was on my way to the Great Hall for dinner until I heard someone crying in the Girl's bathroom, I stopped short, peered in the bathroom heard more crying so I walked in and called out.
"Hello?" I strained my hearing so that I could hear the crying again and try to help but I couldn't identify who was crying so I walked in and found the stall where she was crying. I gently knocked on the door and peered through the cracks and recognized Hermione.
"Hermione? It's Raven can I please come in or can you come out so that we can talk?" I asked softly.
"I don't want to talk about it," she cried. I pressed myself closer to the door so that I could hear her better.
"You know I'm no therapist but I do know that it's better to talk than to keep it in," I stated matter – of – factly.
"Who did you talk to when you found out about your Grandparents?" Hermione asked softly.
"Well I didn't really talk to anyone about it but remember I told you, Harry and Ron but mostly because Harry had a right to know and I talked to Mr. Pinagree who's a kind of wizard therapist, so maybe I can help you." Hermione went silent for a minute then I heard her open the stall so I backed away so that she could come out. I motioned to the back wall so we could both sit down, she followed me to the wall and sat next to me. "So what's bothering you?" I asked again.
"It's Ron, today he said that I was a nightmare and he said that I haven't gotten any friends only because I told him how to levitate the feather in charms but I know the real reason he hates me. He hates me because I'm a muggleborn and he's a pure blood so when I showed him how to do the spell he got angry because someone from a lower blood rank than he is did better than him," she whimpered.
"Ron," I breathed a heavy sigh. "I should've known, well Hermione he's wrong about everything you just said. First off, you are not nightmare, and Harry's your friend and I guess you could say that I'm your friend. Did you know my mother was muggleborn, my grandparents aren't magical but they've told me that she was a great witch. As for Ron, it's not because you're a muggleborn, it's more because you're a girl and he's jealous that he isn't as smart as you. Plus he's a boy, boys think they have to be good at everything but if he gives you anymore trouble just come and find me and I'll knock some sense into him alright?" I promised with a small encouraging grin.
"You make a great Hufflepuff but I wish you were in Gryffindor with me, Harry and Ron," Her voice went into a mousy tone. I smiled at her but the sound of heavy footsteps interrupted our little heart to heart. A big mountain troll stood barely five feet away from us.
"Hermione, get in one of the bathroom stalls and stay in there," I muttered through my teeth.The mountain troll was staring at us both, I knew that if Hermione moved, then it would go for her so I tried thinking of a spell that could help us both but I couldn't really think of anything besides combat spells and I wasn't sure that I had enough power to fight against a troll. Hermione ran into the stall and I predicted right. The troll headed for her but I stepped in its path and pointed my wand at it and yelled, "Stupify!" I had been too late. A brilliant red light shot of my wand just as the troll got two feet away from me. The light bounced off of him and hit me, my body flew towards the wall hitting my head in the process made my world go black.
"Raven! Are you alright? Wake up!" Hermione's voice echoed in my ears. My eyes opened but felt like bricks. Once my vision cleared I saw who else was in the lavatory. Harry, Ron, Professor Quirrell, McGonagall and of course, my father. Sitting up, I felt my brain pounding against my skull and groaned. All the teachers were in close range to me.
"What happened?" I asked softly.
"Well you used Stupify way too close to the troll and it hit you instead, thankfully Ron and Harry came in moments after and took care of the troll," Hermione explained.
"Miss Evans are you alright, dear?" Professor McGonagall asked, her eyes examining me from behind her spectacles.
"Yes, yes I'm fine but where's my wand?" I asked, panicked that something had happened to it.
"Would this be it?" Harry asked, holding my slim wand in his hand. With an exhale of relief I took it from him.
"Yes, thank goodness," I sighed and placed back into my robes where it would be safe.
"Professor McGonagall , I think it necessary that we get Miss Evans to the Hospital Wing," Snape commented to McGonagall and she agreed however, I didn't want to go to the Hospital Wing. I stood up too fast, causing my body to slam into the wall, I heard gasps but I waved my hand to show that I was okay.
"The Hospital Wing isn't necessary, professors, as you can clearly see I am still living and breathing so I won't be needing any hospital attention," I lied, truthfully I felt woozy and light headed but I didn't want anymore gossip to be passed around about me, plus, I wanted to sleep in my own bed. I shoved off of the wall to prove that I was fine but I got dizzy again and fell to the ground landing on my butt.
"Ms. Evans, I insist that you go to see Madam Pomfrey," she paused a moment to look at my father, "you as well Professor Snape." After McGonagall made the comment about Snape going to the Nurse I looked at him up and down and saw that he had a cut on his leg. Snape quickly gave McGonagall the evil eye but nodded. I stood up again, very slowly making sure that I didn't fall down again. I started to walk towards the exit, slowly then made my way towards the Hospital Wing.
After first, father and I didn't speak while we walked but once we were definitely out of any kind of hearing range, he snapped. "What were you thinking?!" Snape's angry voice demanded, I turned my head to meet his disapproving gaze.
"I don't what you're talking about," I answered slowly.
"Don't give me that kind of lie, Miss Granger told us how you were looking for the troll," he snapped. I stopped walking and as did Snape but he stopped in front of me.
"That's not what happened, I was walking to the Great Hall and I heard someone crying in the Girl's bathroom, found it was Hermione, we talked then next thing I know there's a big, nasty troll standing less than eight feet away from us. I told Hermione to hide while I fought it - and failed apparently," I answered. I waited for him to respond, but he only looked down at me at first with a hardened gaze but it softened and he placed a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I was just worried that something more serious happened," Snape whispered. "I don't need anymore grief in this lifetime" Snape murmured. I knew who he was talking about and I had about a hundred questions about them but I knew that now wasn't the right time.
"I'm sorry dad, I'll try to be more careful in the future," I whispered back. Snape then removed his hand and we continued to the Nurse, who made me sleep at the Hospital Wing again because apparently I had a concussion and I needed to be woken up every hour through the night.
Once the next morning came I was allowed to leave for the Quidditch match, this was going to be Harry's first match as a Seeker. I entered the Great Hall and looked for Harry so that I could wish him luck, I spotted Snape already talking with him. I don't know why but it made feel fuzzy on the inside, seeing them talk - even though I knew that the two hated each other.
"Hey Raven! I've saved you a spot!" Grace called out, waving her hand to catch my attention. I waved back and sat down next to her and poured myself some Pumpkin Juice and put some toast on my plate. "Where were you last night? I was worried, I was so sure that the Troll had killed you or at least injured you, so what happened?" she asked, rushly.
"Um I was around, I but I had to stay the night in the Hospital Wing again because I uh tripped," I lied.
"Oh I hope you're okay, but did you hear about the three first years and one third year? They took on the troll and won I heard that third year ran away scared last minute," Grace gossiped.
"She did not! I was that third year! I blasted the stupid troll with a spell but it backfired and I hit my head on the wall, that's what really happened, if you must know!" I blurted out, loudly. The Hufflepuff table quieted for a moment, looking around but quickly came back to life after a moment.
"You were? Then why did you lie to me?" she asked, obviously hurt that I didn't tell her the truth the first time.
"Would have believed me if I told you?" I asked exasperated.
"Of course, we're friends and I expect to hear the truth from you and I'll believe you - so never lie to me again, understand?" Grace's normal soft, bird like voice changed to more demanding so I understood how serious she meant it. I opened my mouth to tell her the truth about my father but knew I couldn't tell her in the Great Hall.
"I understand," I promised. "Now that I've promised, I've got to tell you something pretty big but I can't say it out loud and you've got to promise not to tell anyone else, alright?" Grace scooted closer to me as I pulled out some parchment and a quill.
Severus Snape is my father.
Turning it upside down, I slid it over to Grace who turned it over and her eyes grew once she read the words. Her head snapped in Snape's direction then to my face then once more to his before settling on mine.
"Wow, it's like one of those things I should have known because you two look so similar - except your eyes of course, must have gotten those from your mother," she pointed out.
"Huh, first of all I didn't think you were going to take this so well, and second of all, I know. I should have guessed it myself - we even have the same nose! If the sallow skin and dark hair weren't a dead give away my nose should have been," I whispered fiercely with a smile.
"What did Harry say when you told him?" she asked, my smile disappeared and my heart sunk.
"I - uh actually haven't told anyone, you're the first," I sheepishly admitted. Grace's eyes again grew in amazement.
"Really? Well are you going to tell Harry?" she inquired her voice reverting to a pur. I risked a glance over to where he was and saw him with a new broom, he had looked so happy. Surely knowing that his least favorite person is my father would hurt him so I shook my head and looked back at Grace.
"Not now, maybe when he's older," I sighed. Yes, maybe when he was older he could understand why I didn't tell him sooner, hopefully he would forgive me for keeping it from him.