"This is the crib of Lovey G," Paris said with wide arms. He turned and smiled. "And by that I mean, my fake mom's rented apartment that HB and I share."
Delilah walked into the room, shoes pressed into the white carpet as her eyes blinked back to adjust to the pink walls.
"Is Barbie your interior designer?" Melon Head asked, running his hand over the pink, plastic dining table.
The door clicked shut behind them and Paris hung his coat on the rack. He reached for HB's coat who shrugged him off with a glare, taking the coat off herself.
Paris just smiled and did a little dance down the foyer. "Welcome to my home! This is where the magic happens!" He winked. "My parents aren't home, ladies. And Melon Head."
"What is that?" HB said. They turned towards the big red spot on the floor, it pooling through the cracks of the tiles and down a stream to the bathroom.
"Blood," Delilah answered.
"My mom is menstruating," Paris said.
HB smacked her boyfriend in the arm and Delilah wrinkled her nose.
"What an interesting thing to tell your guests..." Melon Head spoke.
Paris laughed and walked over the red stain. "Nah, it's probably just red dye. The fake mom was dying her hair in the tub this morning and she probably didn't have time to clean up the mess."
Delilah gave HB a questionable look as they followed him to the pink exploding living room and kitchen. "What's with all the roses?" She gently touched the seventh one she'd seen in this apartment, it resting in a glass vase. It smelled pleasant.
Delilah hated pleasant.
Something cold floated from the bottom of her nose and she startled back, a silver platter coming up her face. "Cookies?" Paris asked, waving a plate of heart shaped goods.
"Does the Devil even eat cookies?" HB asked.
"Fuck yeah," Delilah replied. She grabbed a handful and cradled them close to her chest. "What do you think I'm on? A diet? Cookies are the next best thing to cocaine." Crumbs fell in the imprints of her feet that her boots left as she trekked across the kitchen.
The furry couch made her sneeze as she collapsed onto the pink monstrosity, feeling a sharp object poking her butt. "For seven sins..." She grumbled, moving herself over and plucked out a card. "An ace?"
"My mom probably had her morning poker rounds with the moms of the street," Paris explained. He tried to feed HB a cookie, but she swatted it away, smacking the cookie to the ground.
"I'm like a ninja," HB told him, waving a serious karate hand in his face.
Delilah used her boots to push aside an ash tray still wafting of smoke and laid both feet overtop the plastic, dollhouse-like table.
"Just try not to make a mess..." Paris began, but Delilah was already munching down the delicious treats.
"Mhm," she distantly agreed, too engrossed in the doughy snack. She groaned. "Yep. Tastes just as good as cocaine."
"By the way," Paris said. "Don't tell my mom you're the Devil from the underworld or else she'll flip her shit and send the gooney demon police bums after you," he casually stated as he tried to drive another cookie train into HB's mouth.
"Noted," Delilah said and took another bite.
Two sharp beeps came from the foyer and no one turned towards the noise. The hook squeaked as another coat draped over it and heavy footsteps advanced to the kitchen. Delilah was going to turn her head towards the noise, but a chocolate chip fell down her shirt. She dug a finger between her boobs and fished for the piece, afraid it'll melt in her bra.
A scream ripped loose. Something slammed against the wall, a crash hitting the floor along with a shattering effect.
HB took the chance to grab the plate of cookies and chucked them across the floor. "Oh no. There goes the cookies," HB spoke in a monotone voice. She fell back into the couch with crossed arms and a flat smile.
Paris was too caught up in the mess in the kitchen to give a damn. He, the only one interested to turn, frowned at the sight. "Mate, what are you doing?"
"Why are you following me?!"
That familiar voice captured Delilah's attention and she whipped around. The cookies crushed under her hand, and Paris shrieked at the rain of crumbs over the couch.
Delilah stood up on the cushions and pointed a finger. "Ah ha! There you are!"
Ryland ran around to the chair, behind Paris and HB (it was a one seated chair, but Paris squished himself up against HB). "Get away from me you freak!" Ryland shouted.
Delilah chased after him, her friends sitting between the two screaming people. "If anything you're the freak! An angel hiding among Earth? Dumbest shithead I've ever slept with!"
Ryland threw his hands up in a more of a protective cross. "What are you talking about?!" He picked the pillow off the couch and pathetically threw it at her. "You're that psycho from school! Paris! Why the fuck do you have her in your house?!"
"I'm the Devil, bitch! I can be wherever the fuck I want to be," she snapped.
"She's my cousin," HB casually lied. "From Oklahoma."
Delilah and Ryland dropped their heads to the blonde. Paris picked up on this and brightened his eyes. "Yeah. Cousin. I was going to tell you but with the ba—"
"That's no excuse!" shouted Ryland. He clutched another pillow to his chest in lame defence. "You let a psycho into your home! You're almost as crazy as your mother!"
"Listen you—" Delilah began
HB slapped a hand over Delilah's mouth and sheepishly smiled at Ryland. "Sorry. They have a weird culture in Ohio."
"Wasn't it Okhalamo?"
"Shut up! Do I look like a geographic major to you?" HB gave a feisty snarl that definitely didn't sound human. Ryland glared.
"If you're keeping her then I'm out!" He threw the pillow at Delilah and ran out of the room. The coat rack hit the ground, and the bell harshly rang as the door slammed shut.
Paris released a long breath and slumped against the coach.
"What the hell was that?!" Delilah screamed in their face.
HB picked at her black nails. "Well, you probably scared the hell out of the poor kid."
"Why?!"
Paris fumbled with his shirt and sighed, staring up at Delilah. "Well for starters—you told him you were the Devil."
"Most humans aren't Satanic worshippers," HB additionally quipped.
"Human?!"
The toilet flushed in the next room over. "Delilah. You gotta check out their hand soap. It's got little beads in it and it smells like apricots—" Melon Head rounded the corner and froze as everyone looked at him. "What? Was I not supposed to use that one?" No one answered. "I can just get another hand soap if you want."
"Where were you all this time?!" shrieked Delilah.
He moved his thumb behind him. "I was just in the bathroom. Paris has this furry pink toilet seat and I just couldn't get up. It was too comfy. It was like my anus was making love to the—you know, you gotta sit on it yourself—"
"I'm going to climb over this couch and punch you so hard that your face will have knuckle imprints," Delilah said, closing her eyes in attempt to calm herself.
"You know, I could use more dimples... What? Clearly nothing important happened when I was gone." Melon Head used his hand to block the side of his mouth and loudly whispered to Paris and HB, "Drama queeeeeen."
"Sit down for the sake of the ladies," Paris told him and Melon Head did, collapsing on the opposite couch of Delilah with his two legs lazily spread open.
"Now let's straighten this messy issue out," Paris ordered and scooted to the edge of his seat. "You got pregnant." His open hands laid out to Delilah.
"It was by accident?" she said in what sounded more of a question than an answer.
Paris scratched his chin. "But you're the Devil! You can't get pregnant..." He paused. "Or can you? For the love of Cupid, are you going to keep the thing?" Paris asked.
"No!" She jerked her head up. "Why in Hell's Carnation would I do that?"
"What was your plan? Confront Ryland—an ex-angel—and demand him to undo it?"
"Huh?!" Melon Head sat upright and swerved his baseball cap around. "You can do that?!"
Paris shrugged. "I've heard of angels who can reverse shit like that."
"Reverse pregnancy?" Melon Head groaned and collapsed back on his seat. "What has this damn universe come to?"
"And this comes to our second problem," Delilah quietly mumbled. She flicked a crumb off her pants. "Ryland is kind of a human now."
Paris pursed his lips together. "Okay. So your a-mazing plan was to find him within a high school and demand him to take his child back from your womb? I feel like you should know this isn't how you deal with situations on Earth. You either visit a gynaecologist, a therapist, or Dr. Phil. I bet you Oprah has a DVD where she talks about this."
HB uncrossed her arms to wave a nonchalant hand. "Don't worry, Delilah. It isn't a big deal to hate guy you've slept with. I mean, my eighteen year old relationship with Paris is proof of that."
Paris ate up that insult like it was a sweet treat and he slabbed a big kiss on HB's cheek. "Your cruel words make me smile."
"I hope you burn and die," HB replied.
Paris squished his girlfriend's cheek again nd moved in for another kiss, but HB shoved her hand up. "Enough! For moody clouds and tears, let me breathhhhhhe!"
Delilah, unamused by this all, cleared her throat. The two broke apart (HB attempted to but Paris kept a strong arm around her waist which was, in fact, adorable).
"Just tell Delilah what I told you," HB ushered, trying to stir his attention away.
Paris stuck his tongue out—in a playful gesture—and moved his head back to Delilah.
"Anyway, HB was in contact with the cosmic forces of the a-mazing universe. They told her that Ryland here—your ex-boyfriend—came to Earth six years ago. Some witchery magic crap happened, and after he went all 'It's a wonderful world' and fell in love this polluted planet generated by capitalism, he wished to exchange his angel life for a human life."
"Because he switched species, he lost his angle memories as well. And you met with Ryland when he was an angel." HB stopped playing Clash of Clans and looked at Delilah. "Right?"
Words caught in her throat. Delilah laid back on the couch, sitting on the cards again. "Yes, but how..." She looked down, pressing her hand against her stomach. Although it was normal looking, she knew that thing inside of her was growing. "Nonono." Her head jerked up. "You're lying!"
A bell went off in the kitchen.
Paris jumped off the couch. "That's the new batch of cookies!"
He darted out of the high strung room, disappearing behind the wall. "I'm gonna go back to my beautiful toilet seat," Melon Head said and fled to another, much safer room.
HB glimpsed over her shoulder and quickly scooted to the end of her seat. "You can get those memories back."
Delilah desperately hung onto her words. She scooted in, understanding the secrecy of what was about to happen.
"But I want to make a deal first," HB stated.
Delilah burst into a short, harsh laugh. "Of course. Everyone wants to make a deal with Devil."
HB inched closer, double checking over her shoulder again before brushing her mouth over Delilah's ear. "I don't want to be soulmates with Paris anymore. I want you to break the bond between us when this Ryland pregnant thing is over."
A smile crept on Delilah's lips. "Isn't that always the way? One partner in the relationship always out to corrupt the other?"
HB leaned back, her blonde strands tickling Delilah's nose. "Are you in? Break the bond and I'll tell you how to get Ryland back."
Her red lips spelled out the words that every desperate soul wanted to hear. "Deal." HB grasped Delilah's cold hands and the firm shake was heavier than any normal shake. It carried a grave promise that both of them were going to keep.
"I'll break the bond as soon as Ryland gets his memories back," Delilah agreed. There was a clang of the plate resting on the counter in the kitchen and she quickly closed the gap between the two of them. "Now what do I need to do?"
Any trace of happiness wiped off of HB's face and she kept up her solemn expression. "Paris would never tell you, but there is a way to get the angel memories of Ryland back. They say if an angel used to love someone, they can get their memories back if they fall in love again with the same person."
"So just spend time with him?" Delilah said.
"Spend time with him. Make him fall in love with you. That Disney crap works you know. Assuming you and Ryland had that connection—"
"We never had a connection," Delilah harshly snapped.
"You don't need a connection," HB quickly added. "You just need him to like you." Delilah smiled with ease, but HB let out a snort. "Which will be the hardest thing ever. I mean, you're a mega bitch..."
"I'm not that bad," Delilah scowled.
"Right, sorry. You're the biggest, mega-ultron, universe sized bitch."
"It's just my face, 'kay? I'm not actually that mean..." Delilah defended.
"Sure, sure. I got'chu." HB gave her a big, over exaggerated wink and a thumbs up. "Grade-A bitch, my friend."
"What'cha lovely ladies talking about?" Paris sang, coming in with a steaming batch of cookies. He held out the platter with his pink oven mitts and apron.
Delilah pushed it away. "No. I'm not feeling anything sweet right now."
He moved it towards HB who glared. "Don't even think about it," his girlfriend said.
Paris smiled and looked over to Delilah. "I don't mind you and Melon Head crashing at our place tonight. You're welcome to stay on Earth for as long as you need to, but don't hurt Ryland okay? I want whatever is best for my man. He's the oldest friend I have."
"Don't worry. Maybe if I become friends with Ryland, he'll start to remember?" she suggested, catching a discreet glance to HB. Paris's girlfriend was on her phone, scrolling through something with no interest.
"Yeah, okay," he said. A dark, serious side flipped itself onto Paris's face and he narrowed his gaze. "Just don't put Ryland in danger. I want no demons to be a part of Ryland's life as it will seriously mess with his head. You should have an in and out mission now that everyone knows about the two of you."
"How does everyone know I..." Delilah paused and then that lightbulb came up. "Right."
"Like I said. This baby, pregnant thing must be a pretty good reason to come to Earth," HB spoke.
"The fact your presence on Earth attracts all dark sides from every part of the universes is pretty impressive," Paris distantly said. "I mean, if it didn't mean demons may potentially be drawn to my town and put all our lives in grave danger."
Delilah sighed and flicked her hand. "I'd say sorry, but I'm really not."
Paris put the tray down and went on his hands and knees to pick the cookies off the ground. "Good luck trying to befriend Ryland. It seems like he really likes you."
HB snorted. "He sees her as a psychotic bitch from hell. That won't help her case."
Delilah snapped her fingers. "You're right! I can't have him see me for who I really am! Boys don't like that kind of stuff."
HB snorted at the dark humour except for Paris who wasn't even paying attention, plucking every crumb off the white carpet. "You're lucky Ryland is friends with me. You can hang with us at lunch and make fun of bullies and fail school! For all of love and romance—you'll be a modern teen in no time. I mean, you got the bitch face down."
"Told you!" HB exclaimed, almost leaping out of her seat, but her natural misery and laziness weighed enough to kept her anchored in her chair.
"Befriending the guy I want to kill. What an original plan," Delilah said with an eye roll.
Paris left the room to dispose of the crumbs, leaving HB and Delilah alone.
"I love how he doesn't even yell at you for tossing the cookies to the ground," Delilah said.
HB groaned at the mention of her boyfriend. "He loves everything I do."
Paris poked his head out. "So I was thinking, Delilah. We'd start with your hair—"
"No." Her cold tone wrapped around his throat. "No makeover. No wardrobe do-over. This isn't going to be some teen movie full of secrecy and hidden identities in order to win over the affection of the judgmental society. I wear what I want to wear, and I'll dress how I want to dress and that's final."
"You are?" he asked.
"I am. Now give me a cookie. I've traveled from the underworld to Earth without a nap. Not to mention high school is exhausting and makes me nauseous."
"Natural teen already," said HB and then shot her fist up. "Yes! Level 9 on Clash of Clans, bitches."
+++
A/N:
My sister plays Clash of Clans ALL THE TIME. I'm debating if I should try it out, but I'm afraid I'll get hooked on the app.
I've decided Anna Kendrick is going to be HB.
Okay? Don't like that choice?
Jokes. Either way, both Anna Kendrick and Emma Watson are amaze-balls. Sorry. I had fun with gifs and I just love Anna so...
Anyway.
Did this chapter make sense? Are things semi-straightened out? LOL.
Which character do you like best?
Please comment your thoughts. I love hearing them!
I haven't done this in a long time, but I'm going to set some goals on my chapters for nostalgic reasons. Also because I like achieving goals and I'm weird like that.
Maybe 200 votes on this chapter? :)
That little star likes being filled up.
...
Wow, that star is a slut.