I've been binge listening to TOP.
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"The penguins waddled like this." Teagan placed her arms stiffly against her sides and waddled like the penguins. I smiled and laughed. "And uncle Jon bought me a stuffed elephant and uncle Spencer bought me ice cream."
"That's awesome baby," I smiled. "did uncle Jon and uncle Spencer pay for everything or did daddy help out too?"
"Daddy was sad." Teagan frowned and I furrowed my eyebrows.
"How come?" I asked. She shrugged and hopped up onto my lap.
"He said he was okay but I know he was lying. He's always sad. Just like you're always sad, daddy." I hummed in response and Teagan laid against my chest. I held her and rested my head on top of hers.
"How about we go to the carnival tomorrow?" I said after a few minutes. Teagan jumped up and smiled.
"Really?" She asked excitedly. I smiled and nodded. "Can daddy come?" My smile fell and hers did too when she saw mine was gone.
"Maybe next time okay honey?" She nodded and looked down. I can see how much this is hurting her and it breaks my fucking heart. She just wants both of her dads together.
I put in a movie for us to watch and made us some popcorn, but she fell asleep halfway through so I carried her to her room and put her in bed, kissing her forehead and I walked out, leaving a crack in he door.
This house is so empty without him. It's depressing and almost haunting. I wish I didn't have to be here. When I got to my room, I saw the light blinking on my phone. I picked it up to check it but it was just a bunch of Twitter notifications. My phone kept going off in my hand, so I shut it off without checking the messages and set it back on the nightstand and got in bed, hoping that my brain let me sleep tonight.
-
Teagan is having a blast. I can't go on many rides with her, so I just stand by the side rail and watch her.
"Daddy look!" She yells, waving and smiling at me. I smile and wave back and she laughs.
"Oh my God," I hear behind me. I was honestly hoping someone didn't recognize me. "are you Ryan Ross?" She asked. I turned around to face her and I tried to smile. Her eyes were wide.
"Unfortunately." I sighed. She looked like she was in shock and she wasn't saying anything so it was just a little awkward.
"Daddy!" I looked over and saw Teagan running toward me. I picked her up when she got to me and the girl in front.
"Oh God, she's so much cuter in person!" She practically squealed.
"Thanks."
"Who's that daddy?" Teagan asked.
"Oh, I'm Sam." She held her hand out, so I shook it for a brief second before taking my hand back. "She looks just like Brendon!" Sam noted with a smile. I cleared my throat and put my head down. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't -"
"Hey, it's okay." I said with a small smile. "I'm not worried about it."
"Oh thank God. I thought I just pissed you off." She laughed nervously.
"Nope, not pissed off." I said. I was starting to walk away but her words stopped me.
"So how do you feel about Brendon being engaged?"
-
I sat on the couch, this Sam girl next to me and I scrolled through my news feed.
Everything was about Brendon and Tyler being engaged. There was a photo and it made me fucking sick at how happy they looked.
"How the hell did this even happen?" I asked myself, sitting back on the couch.
"Well, um. There's a photo to answer that question." I shot Sam a glare and she looked down. "Sorry."
"Don't be. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this." I rubbed my face and groaned. "He's a goddamn idiot."
"Well maybe he's in love with Tyler," Sam deadpanned. "don't you want him to be happy?" She asked.
"Of course I do. Just not with Tyler. Or anyone else but me." I stood from the couch and went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Sam followed.
"You know, he does love you." She tells me. "I saw the video of when he proposed to you on stage, I cried watching it."
I gripped the handle on the fridge and tried not to think about that day. One of the best days of my life. The day Brendon told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
"Yeah." I finally said, opening the fridge door and grabbing the water. "Want one?" I asked. Sam nodded.
I tossed her the bottle in my hand and grabbed another one.
"If it makes you feel any better, I still think you and Brendon are meant for each other."
"Thanks, but that ship has obviously sailed." Sam snickered and I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?"
"You said ship." She said with a big smile. I wasn't getting it. "You know, ship? Like the way your fans ship you and Brendon? Ryden?" I hummed.
"Oh. Funny." I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was almost nine. "I'm gonna take Teagan to Brendon's." I said, mostly to myself.
"Ooh, can I go with you?" She asked. I looked at her, her brown eyes almost pleading. Ah, why not.
"Sure." I shrugged.
"Really?" I nodded. "Awesome!" She smiled and I shook my head, laughing and I ran up the stairs to Teagan's room.
She was sleeping on the floor. I picked her up and walked down the stairs with her. I picked up my keys and Sam followed me out of the house and I locked the door.
"Do you need me to drop you off anywhere?" I asked her, walking to my car and putting Teagan in her carseat. She rubbed her eyes but stayed asleep.
"Um, no that's okay." She said softly. We both got in the car and I drove to Brendon's house. "Can I meet him?" She asked suddenly.
"Maybe another time," I told her. "I'd rather not stay there longer than I have to, especially if Tyler's there."
"Okay." The rest of the ride was quiet and I pulled into Brendon's driveway. Both of their cars are here.
"Be right back." I got out and opened Teagan's door, unbuckling her. "Please don't take off with my car." I told Sam as I picked Teagan up out of the seat.
"Oh my God, I would never." She laughed. I smiled and shut the door, walking up the driveway to the front door.
I pounded on the door, purposely trying to piss them off.
A few seconds later, the door swings open, revealing an extremely pissed off Brendon pulling a shirt over his head.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked angrily. Without answering, I pushed passed him and stormed down the hall to Teagan's room. "Um, I didn't invite you inside." Brendon said following me. I put her in bed, kissed her forehead and pushed passed Brendon once more and headed to the front door. "You aren't talking to me, why?"
I stopped at the front door, opening it and turning to face Brendon.
"Fuck you." I said. "Fuck you and fuck him." My vision was becoming blurry from the tears that were seconds away from spilling.
"Ryan, what -"
"How could you just move on so fast Bren?" I asked, voice cracking and tears falling. "Did I really not mean shit to you?"
"How could you say that?" He pulled the door shut and we stood on the porch. "Of course you did."
"Then explain this shit!" I said loudly, trying not to yell. "If I meant anything to you, there's no way in hell you would have moved on with someone this fast."
"Keep your voice down." Brendon said calmly. "I don't need him coming out here and trying to get in your face." I laughed.
"Let him! I don't fucking care! I fought Dallon didn't I? I'll fight this piece of shit too!"
"Ryan, all you did was punch Dallon in the nose." Brendon stated.
"Who fucking cares." I scoffed. The front door opened and Tyler walked out of the house looking confused. "Oh great." I said, rolling my eyes.
"What the hell is going on?" He asked, putting an arm around Brendon's shoulder.
"This has nothing to do with you, please leave." Tyler just stared at me. "Now. Go. Goodbye." I shooed him away with my hands, but he didn't go anywhere.
"Is there a problem?" Tyler asked.
"Yeah. You. You're the problem."
"Excuse me?"
"You. Are. The. Problem." I said slower. "How the hell are you just going to ask Brendon to marry you? Didn't you just meet him last week or something?"
"Ryan, we've been together for almost nine months." Brendon said, rubbing it in my face.
"Well, it might as well be last week."
"I think you should leave." Tyler said to me.
"Make me." I deadpanned. Tyler removed his arm from Brendon's shoulder and stepped closer to me.
"You don't want me to make you." He said in a low voice.
"I do. That's why I said it." He ended up pushing me and I stumbled backward down the stairs, almost losing my balance.
"Stop!" Brendon yelled, stepping in front of Tyler and putting his hands on his shoulders to keep him in place. I went back up the stairs, carefully moved Brendon out of the way and I pushed Tyler against the door and punched him. "Ryan stop!"
Tyler pushed me down the stairs again, but this time I fell on my ass.
I heard a car door shut and that's when I remembered that Sam girl was in my car.
"Are you okay?" She asked, helping me stand up.
"Yeah." I said. Tyler was off the porch now and walking toward me with Brendon trying to hold him back. "That's all you can do is push me? Are you too afraid to actually hit me?" I laughed.
Tyler's fist then met my cheek and I launched forward and tackled him to the ground. Everyone was yelling and Tyler and I were going at it, hitting and punching and rolling in the grass.
"Why are you fighting?" I stopped abruptly when I heard Teagan's voice. I got off of this asshole and stood up, straightening my clothes. "Fighting isn't nice." She said with a frown.
"We weren't fighting," I said, hoping she'd believe me. "we were just wrestling. Right?" Tyler glared up at me and I held out my arm, hoping he'd just take my hand and let me help him up so Teagan would think that's all that was going on. And he did.
"Yeah, just wrestling. Having some fun." He fake smiled. Brendon rushed over to her and took her back in the house. "This isn't over." Tyler said pointing a finger at me.
"I'll fuck you up." I said a little out of breath.
Brendon came back out and got in my face.
"Are you fucking stupid?" He yelled, shoving me. I grabbed his wrists, not too hard, but hard enough to where he couldn't get out of my grip. "Let go of me." He said firmly. I just stared at him.
"Ryan, just let him go." Sam said from somewhere. Brendon's expression changed when he looked at her.
"Who's she?" He asked, suddenly interested in my new friend. I let go of his wrists and stepped back, putting my arm around Sam's shoulder.
"A friend." I shrugged.
"A friend?" He asked. I nodded. "And where did you meet this friend?"
"Why is it any of your business?" I asked harshly.
"I'm Sam." Sam said, extending her arm to Brendon. He hesitantly shook her hand. "I met Ryan at the carnival today and it's kind of my fault that he found out about you being engaged." Brendon hummed. "But it was just an accident, I thought he already knew and if I knew that he didn't know, I wouldn't have said anything." Brendon stared at her like she was crazy. "Sorry." She mumbled, putting her head down.
"You've got nothing to be sorry about." I gently squeezed her shoulder and smiled. "You're making a big mistake." I said quietly to Brendon before leading Sam back to my car. We got in and I drove off.
-
"That was awesome though!" She said excitedly. "Didn't think you had it in ya."
"Yeah, well. I do." I laughed. "You know, he's fucking hurting me and he doesn't even care. He told me he'd die before he hurt me again, after he told me about Dallon. So technically he should be dead right now."
Sam sat down on the couch next to me and rested her head on my shoulder.
"Boy are just full of drama." She sighed. I nodded in agreement.
"You know, I thought you were going to be some kind of crazy fan, but you're actually pretty cool."
"Thanks," she lifted her head and smiled at me. "that means a lot coming from you."
"Where do you live anyway?"
"I'm actually just going from place to place right now. I'm looking for a job at the moment too, that's why I was at the carnival. Had an interview, but I think I failed it."
"You wanna work with the carnival?" I asked with a short laugh.
"Anything that makes money."
I hummed and put my head back on the couch.
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It's short and kind of sucks, but here's chapter threee.