"By the cracks of skin I climbed to the top, I climbed the tree to see the world..."
SONG: TO BUILD A HOME
ARTIST: THE CINEMATIC ORCHESTRA
Brianna went back to her own apartment after we got back to New York, mostly because her mother was there and she didn't want her to stay there. ("She'll rearrange everything. My messy room is an organized kind of messy. I know where everything is. She'll destroy my system"). Either way, I had to head back home because Jack and Celeste wanted to see me at the shop and I was excited because they said they had news.
The shop was covered by a white sheet and Celeste stood outside with both of my brothers. She looked annoyed and her hand kept running over her stomach. I got a little nervous because she was due any day now and then she would stay with their kids for a few months, and then I'd be taking care of their son whilst they went on their honeymoon.
"What's going on with the shop?" I panicked and almost tore through the front door when Celeste placed her hand on my chest. "Cel, there's some--"
"Wait," She hissed and made me sit down on the bench. "We're waiting for the men who are supposed to deal with this shit."
"What the fuck is going on with my mum's shop?" I snarled and clenched my fists. Celeste brought her index finger against her lips, motioning for me to shut up.
An exhale pushed past my lips and I really wanted answers, but no one was giving them to me and I was outrageously annoyed. I ran my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes before I was lifting it to meet with the sound of a dozen cars and men climbing out with cameras. Brianna emerged from one of the cars with her brother and smiled when she saw me.
"Hey," She reached for my hand as soon as I was on my feet. "Are you excited?"
"Excited for what? I don't even--"
"We haven't told him yet," Celeste told her, smiling softly. Brianna nodded and bit down on her lip.
I wanted to groan, but there were too many cameras and even though they all probably set this up, Brianna did like the attention unless it was me giving it to her. She didn't show how uncomfortable she was, more for her sake than mine.
"Right," Jack clapped his hands together. "My mum opened this shop in the late nineties and handed it over to my brother a year before she died and while we love it to death, but it's just really old school and his girlfriend actually had the idea for this--"
Even though I was fucking confused, I looked down at Brianna and she avoided my gaze, (which I later found out was because she wanted to see my face when they announced it). I bit down on my lip.
"And my brother had this crazy idea of turning the basement into a recording studio," Jack continued to speak while Brianna and her brothers tore off the sheets and brought me to look at the shop.
Everything looked new. They had bought the space next door and tore down the wall so everything would fit and it didn't look so clumped. New instruments littered the wall, vinyls hung in those empty spaces, pictures of bands and my own hung around. I almost choked on my tears at the sight of it.
It was the way my mum wanted. I pressed my hands against the glass and exhaled. I was trembling and I just wanted to send everyone away and cry in the middle of the shop. Instead, I turned to my girlfriend and kiss the living shit out of her. She scrunched her eyes, gripping my shirt and she smiled against my mouth.
"Merry Christmas," She whispered and left one last, chaste kiss on my mouth before she pushed the doors open. "From all of us."
Now, I was crying. I was inside and the paparazzi outside, but I allowed myself to cry because I had the best girlfriend in the world, and I had the best brothers. I pressed Brianna against my chest and buried my face in her hair. She wrapped them around my waist and tilted her head up, kissing my forehead softly.
"I love you so much," I whispered and allowed my fingers to dance down her spine. "How long has this been going on?"
"Mm, since you left New York. I talked to Jack and Ben about it and then this was happening," She told me and then took my hand, leading me over to the far wall. I smiled at the sight. "I thought I'd personalize this part."
A plate reading 'The Cranberries' sat there and she looked pretty fucking proud of herself. And honestly, so was I. I was pretty fucking proud of her for making this happen.
"Downstairs," She told me and led me down. The recording studio was fucking epic and she made sure I knew every part of it inside and out. Instead of letting her continue upstairs, I brought her mouth against mine and placed us inside of the booth.
"I don't deserve you," I mumbled and brought her onto the couch. She smiled and cupped my face, kissing my cheeks and then down my neck. "I want to know something."
She hummed, slipping her hands under my shirt. "I'll always answer honestly."
"Was that really a tactic of yours, not telling a guy your name until they took you on a date?" I asked, her body climbing on top of mine. She bit down on her lip and rested her hands on my abdomen. "Or was that just some weird plan to get me to ask you out?"
"I actually knew about you already," She admitted and pressed her lips together. "Your brothers told me that you needed someone in your life, another friend and I just--I didn't expect for us to be here. Ben's a really good matchmaker."
I rolled my eyes. "Of course we didn't just happen by chance."
"What? Yes, we did, Luke," She told me and frowned. "Just because we had a little help doesn't mean that we weren't by chance," Brianna paused, taking time to get off of me. "Why do you always do that? We're so good right now, but you have to look for something negative to throw us off. Am I not exciting enough? Are we not full of adventure--"
"Babe," I took her hand.
"Because I thought we were good. I thought what we're doing right now is enough,"
I sighed and wrapped her arms around my waist. "We are enough. I don't know why I do that. It's just something I do and I really can't help it because I'm not exactly used to being so insanely happy for a long period of time."
Brianna shut her eyes. "I love you, Luke. Stop trying to find the faults because as far as I'm concerned, everyone can see our faults, we just have to live with them."
*
Brianna offered to make dinner, but I had to go to rehearsal for Jingle Ball so we agreed on chinese take out backstage with all my bandmates after the show. She handed each of us a container and some chopsticks, (except for me and her. As much as everyone taught us how to use them, we could never get the hang of them).
"Right, so after New York we're heading off to Philadelphia," Michael told my girlfriend as she shoved noodles into her mouth.
I laughed softly and took a napkin into my hand, wiping the sauce around her mouth after she had finished fitting whatever she could inside of her mouth. She gave me a look, but continued to eat anyway.
"And I'm totally gonna get a fucking philly cheese steak when I get there," Michael continued and then shut himself up by shoving dumplings into his waiting mouth. We were quiet for a little while and Brianna situated herself between my legs.
"After Philly?" She asked suddenly, moving her head back as she sipped on lemonade quietly. "Chicago, and then Atlanta, and then Miami, and then Tampa."
I nodded and gave her a confused look. "Yes, why?"
"It's just a lot of places," She shrugged and put her lemonade on the table in front of us. "And I'm going to miss you."
"Uh-huh," I gave her a questioning look. "Is there anything else?"
"Hmm?" Brianna drummed her fingers against my knee. "Nothing, honestly, babe. I'm just going to be a little bit bored going over baby procedures before there even is a baby with Jack and Celeste."
"You'll know more than I do," I reminded her and ran my fingers through her hair, undoing the knots in it by hand. "You could always wait."
"And by then our nephew would have already been born and I'd be helping wipe off the vomit from Celeste's shirt," She sighed and hoisted herself up to sit on my lap. I was smiling like a fucking idiot. "I'm not waiting to learn how to--Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because you said 'our nephew'," I clarified and slipped my hand between her thighs. "I thought it was cute."
She grumbled something, which I could barely hear, but I pretty much figured she said, "I'll fucking show you cute, Hemmings."
I snorted and kissed her cheek. "Are you okay on food at your apartment? Or are you still procrastinating on buying groceries?"
"Procratinating," She answered easily and kissed the side of my head. "I want you to go with me, but you'll more than likely get mobbed by girls and I'm the jealous type."
"I know you are," I laughed and reached for her hand, intertwining our fingers. "Hey guys, are we done here?"
Calum yawned and nodded his head. "I had to be at Lo's a while ago, but I think I fell asleep."
Brianna snorted. "You're in trouble."
"Please don't remind me," He groaned and collected the case to his bass and left the room, leaving the four us to clean up.
Brianna yawned and crawled onto my lap as soon as we were in the car. She could literally be a ball of fucking energy one minute and be the one who misses the massive earthquake she caused because she's fallen asleep. I caressed her cheek.
"You're so fucking in love with her," Ashton observed, smiling softly. "You don't even have to look at her to tell that you're so into her."
"And I'm still the single one out of the band," Michael mumbled, genuinely annoyed. "I'm pretty sure I've got the biggest--"
"Michael," Ashton warned.
"Cock in the band and I've gotten little to no fucking action," Michael continued, making me burst out in laughter and having him glare at me. "It's not fucking funny."
Brianna sighed, keeping her eyes closed. "Maybe, Mike, if you spent more time on learning the art of romance you'd have a girlfriend. Talking about how big you are, isn't exactly the most romantic thing—or even an appropriate topic of conversation."
I squeezed my girlfriend's shoulder and tried to lull her back to sleep.
"Are we going to your apartment?"
"No," I told her and caressed her cheek. "We're going to your apartment and then we're going to get you into bed because you're too tired function."
"I'm too anything to function," She mumbled and sat up, careful to rub her eyes a certain way so she didn't mess up her eyeliner. "I don't have to be tired today."
"Oh, Brianna," Ashton smiled. "Always the sacrificial one."
"Anything for the love of my life," She yawned and pressed her lips against my neck. "Tell me you wouldn't do the same for Bryana."
"I'd do anything for her and my little nugget," Ashton wanted to laugh at himself for calling his own child a nugget. "I think I'm going to ask her to marry me."
"Another wedding? I think that's enough for this book," Brianna teased, squeezed my arm. "I think you should too. Not because of Stevie, but because you've loved her for so long, you know?"
Ashton nodded his head and glanced over at me. "What about you? When do you think is a good time to ask someone to marry you?"
I shrugged. "When it feels right. I don't care about how long it's been. It's more about how many forevers that person makes me feel like I've lived in a short amount of time."
Brianna was just staring at me, her brown eyes wide and lips parted as she licked her lips gently. I swallowed, confused.
"That's true," Ashton bit down on his lip and smiled softly. "Mate, will you be one of my best men?"
"Sure,"
*
Two days later I was standing, helpless, in the middle of a Jared's. Ashton was running his fingers nervously through his hair and exhaled softly.
"What if she says 'no'?" Ashton panicked. "I don't have anything planned to say if she says 'no'."
"She's not going to say no, Ash," I sighed and patted him on the back. "She loves you too much. Honestly, I'm surprised she isn't the one asking you to marry her."
Ashton blushed and bit down on his lip. "Your Brianna was giving you the look yesterday."
I raised an eyebrow. "The look?"
"The you-idiot-just-ask-me-to-be-your-wife-already look," Ashton laughed and brought me over to look at the rings. I felt like they were all screaming at me and the clench in my stomach at the thought of Brianna wanting to get married made me want to throw up.
"She doesn't want to get married,"
"You're oblivious,"
"And we've got company," I glanced over at the paps outside of the store who were already taking pictures. Ashton sighed, rolling his eyes. "Maybe you should do this online."
"These fuckers can't ruin everything for us," Ashton grumbled and continued on searching for his ring.
*
Christmas Eve was made up of my entire family, Brianna's, Ashton's, Bryana's, Calum's, and Michael's. Since my dad had the biggest house, we decided to host everyone there and Brianna had been trying to get away from her family all night so I could give her my present.
Eventually, I just placed myself in the middle of her family and convinced them that I needed her in the kitchen. She sighed and intertwined our fingers, practically rushing into the kitchen and brought her mouth softly against mine.
She smelled like my cologne and her hair was so soft. Gently, I was pressed against the counter, her lips moving against mine as her fingers ran over the spans of my chest. When she pulled away, she pressed her forehead against my chin.
"How's your day so far, baby?" I asked, tilting her head upward so I got to see her eyes. Even if it had been a day, I missed every part of her.
She bit down on her lip and then sighed. "My mom wants to move back to Los Angeles."
"Oh," I frowned. "Are you going with her?"
"Probably," She swallowed. "I just—I want someone to be there for Juniper."
"I understand," I assured her and ran my thumb over her cheek. "We've been planning on moving there anyway."
"Yes, but—Luke, you have everything here," Brianna told me, trying not to look like she was about to cry. "And your brother just gave you that cool—"
"Baby,"
"Recording studio and your family is here, and I'm so scared that if I go I might want to let you go for the sake of distance and—"
"Brianna,"
My girlfriend stopped talking.
"May I give you my present now?"
She gave me a desperate look, but nodded anyway. I smiled and pulled out a box from the inside of my jacket. Immediately, she paled as I got down to one knee. She opened her mouth as I ran my fingers over the satin box, giving her a nervous smile.
"Brianna, you're the fucking love of my life—"
"Oh my god,"
"And I want to wake up every single day to your fucking music because not only do I love it, but it's a great way to start my day," I began opening the box and I swore she looked like she was going to pass out. "Will you—"
"Luke, please, I'm—"
"Will you please shut up and let me finish?" I asked, giving her an annoyed look and opened the box, revealing the key inside. "Move in with me?"
She burst into tears.
"Are you fucking serious?" She asked, forcing me to my feet. "All the fucking theatrics just to ask me to move in with you?"
I smiled sheepishly and nodded. "It's in LA and I know you're going to make a shit load of excuses as to why I need to stay here, but I'm not leaving anything."
"Your studio and—"
"I talked to Jack and he's more than glad to be looking after it especially since now it's got the studio," I told her and cupped her face. "Baby, you have no excuses. It's yes or no right now."
"Yes," She exhaled and ran her fingers through her hair. "But, fuck you for making me cry. I just wanted to have a nice time with our families and now I'm crying because I'm really emotional and happy and—When the fuck did you have time to do this?"
"You left before me," I reminded her and brought her against me again. She blushed and placed her hands on the back of my neck. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes," She whispered and closed her eyes, kissing me softly. "One of the few things I'm sure of is you."
I tried to hide the fact that I was overly happy at the moment. I didn't want to scare her away, not when I had her so close. And more than half of me was scared that'd she leave me without notice—that I'd find a way to fuck things up.
The way she held onto me contradicted all of my thoughts.
"When the gusts came around to blow me down, held on as tightly as you held on me..."