Against my better judgment I took Armand and Claudia back to my apartment. Despite the voice in me and my mind telling me that they're family, I probably shouldn't have taken two strangers back to my place. We're here now, so I guess this thought is pointless.
I told them both to take a seat in the living room while I tossed their coats over my bed. When I rejoined them, Claudia was sitting in Armand's lap with their hands intertwined. Something about that made me smile and I didn't bother covering it up with a bogus excuse.
"So," Claudia broke the silent staring match between us. It's funny how we just went from talking in the street to looking at one another with seemingly nothing to say. "you remember us? Everything?"
"Not exactly. Things come and go. Like when I first saw you guys out there. I had no clue who you were then the names came back to me. I remembered the hand kiss only when I was standing in front of Armand. One minute I'll be seeing something through Simone's eyes then it's back to reality."
Claudia nodded slowly biting down on her lip wiggling her fingers between Armand's. "Does Nicolas know about this?" The way she asked me that gave me the impression that she already knew the answer but was indirectly telling me I should tell him.
"No!" I answered not even a full second later. "I mean, he knows that I know of Simone but that's it."
"And you know about her because you are her, right?" Armand sat up with his question looking to me with hopeful eyes. I feel like I'm about to burst his bubble with my answer but I feel it is important to clarify this situation.
"No, I'm Rayne...just with Simone's memories and feelings. I have dreams or visions--I black out and am thrust into her past where I feel like I'm reliving events from her life. When she met Nicolas, the two of you doing your secret hand kiss, how relieved she was when he told her he paid your father for her hand in marriage, and...his kiss." I blushed thinking about the one from the last dream and the actual kiss from the night before. They were too different kisses but equally as passionate. As Simone I felt he wanted to comfort her but show his love at the same time. With me it seemed like a hunger with something else. "I can feel her at times and feel everything she felt but I am not her."
Like I was fearing, his face fell and he sat back with a heavy sigh. I feel bad for him. I could tell through his hug and the urgency in the kisses on my cheeks that he was truly happy to have his sister back and with what I just said, I took her away all over again. If I were in his place and someone did that with my mom, I would be crushed. On the other hand, I don't know how I could have avoided this. It would have been wrong for me to let him think that I'm someone I'm not and I doubt I could've pretended to be for very long.
"Why did you not explain this to Nicolas? He has wandered this earth since my sister died; a shell of what he once was. The other girls never compared to her and it was only when he met you that he perked up and became as close as he's ever been to his old self."
That worries me. Pushing out of the chair I nestled myself in I walked over to the window peering down at the cars cluttering the street hoping I could use that distraction to mask the true emotions I'm sure are about to show on my face.
"At first I didn't think it would make sense to him. I didn't understand why I was dreaming of his life with her and now that I do," I trailed off bringing my arms around myself, "I feel love for Nicolas and I don't know if it's because of her or not. We just met so everything points to Simone. I feel deeply that I want his love--want him to love me...but not because of her."
Silence fell between us again but it wasn't unnerving. For once I don't care what others in the room are thinking. I needed to say that to make sure that's what I felt and it is. I've never known the kind of love I feel Nicolas and Simone had. The only relationship I had after I escaped Dalton was in no way shape or form a healthy one and it was nothing close to love. Inside my head, I'm envious of Simone and with the way Armand is holding on to Claudia, I'm envious of her too. Every time I slip into one of those dreams, it feels good being in his arms, having his look at me as if I am the only girl in the world, hearing him say he loves me...only it's not me he's talking to.
"I think you should tell him." Claudia got off of her husband's lap and approached me with a soothing hand on my back. "There are things that you need to hear from Nicolas and only Nicolas but I will tell you Rayne, that everything is not as it seems."
How ominous was that? Everything is not as it seems? I for one am a prime example of how things aren't what they seem but what did she mean by that and what could I possibly need to hear from Nicolas? I'm still confused as to how and why he has been talking to them about me when we just met. I parted my lips to question it all only to be cut off by a frantic knocking at my door.
Pulling away from the comforting hold of Claudia I moved toward the door stopping when Armand reached out and grabbed hold of my wrist. There was a protective glint in his eyes that spoke to me even without his lips moving. He pushed me behind him as he approached the door, flipped the locks, and pulled it open slowly.
I heard a deep growl coming from the other side which strangely prompted me to peek under his arm to see what was going on. In doing that I alerted the guest--Adam--of my presence.
"There you are!" his mood quickly flipped from ready to attack to relieved then cautious. "Everything alright here?" his eyes travelled from me to Armand then somewhere behind me leading me to believe Claudia had joined us by the door.
"Yeah," I nodded stepping around my sudden protector, "I should be asking you that though." While his features had softened a little when he saw me his body language still suggested that something was wrong.
Still seemingly unsure of Armand and Claudia, Adam glared at them both again before giving me his full attention, "I need you to come with me." At that Armand let loose a growl of his own. I've seen movies where vampires and wolves expressed hate for each other but from the way Nicolas, Adam, and Roger spoke to each other I gathered that it was all just a myth. Now, I'm not so sure. "Is there a problem leech?"
"There will be if you don't state your intentions, dog." Venom dripped from his every word increasing the tension between us. As stupid as it sounds, I jumped between the two men that were slowly but surely coming together. As a part of Simone I feel just as protective of Armand as he is of me but I also see Adam as a friend. I don't want either of them hurt or fighting.
"Guys, both of you are my friends therefore neither is a threat to me." My hands were extended to keep them apart. Or so I hoped. "Can you please just relax. I'm sure this visit was brought on by a reason." I turned to Adam with pleading eyes to let go whatever hostility he may have and just tell me what's going on. The longer he stood there, the more anxious I became. The last time we saw each other I begged him not to tell Dalton where I was and he never said anything--never agreed to keep my location a secret but now he wants me to go with him.
Dropping his eyes to me, his features softened again but also filled with worry. A sick feeling began to well within the pit of my stomach. A slight tremble taking over my body. He knows. That's all my mind was allowing me to think. Adam is here because Dalton knows where I am. He licked his lips to moisten them and I just knew that that was what he was going to tell me, instead he said two words that put me in a whole new state of panic.
"It's Roger."
Practically running through the underground corridors of the Council, I ignored the eyes of all the people I passed in search of the ones that looked like mine. Adam wouldn't tell me what was happening and made me suffer through silence. Armand and Claudia decided to tag along but kept their distance and stayed back behind the first security check point. Adam was keeping up with each of my steps but just like in the car he was avoiding eye contact. I'd question him about it as soon as I see my father and make sure he's ok. I'll address everything as soon as all this is over.
When we reached the room where the meetings were held my heart sank. My father wasn't there and neither was anyone else. Where the hell is he? The longer I mentally questioned that the more I began to fear that something terrible had happened and Adam lured me here just to tell me.
Suddenly a loud crashing sound echoed through the large room. I damn near jumped free of my own skin and into Adam's arms. He held onto me tightly--maybe a little too tight--and dropped his nose into the crook of my neck. I was confused. So lost I didn't moved and let him...sniff me? It wasn't so much as uncomfortable as it was weird. The tension that was obviously in him the whole way over was gone in an instant. When I could see his face again, he looked the same exact way he did the last time we saw each other--saddened and conflicted.
There was another crash and a very very loud growl bringing me back to the situation at hand. I moved out of Adam's arms...tired to move out of Adam's arms but he pulled me back to him interlocking our hands before leading me toward that terrifying sound.
Through another hall that was more compacted and a little darker we approached the other Council members. My eyes automatically went to those of Nicolas and I felt even more drawn to him than before, now knowing why I feel what I feel for him. Standing here subjected me to yet another crash and growl that again, caused me to jump.
"You really think his whelp being here is going to make much of a difference?" Something in the way the white haired woman said that struck a nerve in me. There is obvious animosity. Why, I don't know but it's very apparent.
"It's worth a shot." Adam replied, bringing our locked hands forward as he pulled me toward a set of heavy looking metal doors. I noticed then that Nicolas' eyes were focused on that connection and he didn't look too happy about it.
The two human councilman took positions on either sides of the door opening it for us. On our way in Nicolas' hand brushed against my arm causing a chill to roll up my spine. My mind started reeling as if I were going to be thrust into another memory but before I could float into the past I came face to face with a gigantic brown wolf.
Large golden eyes were narrowed on me. He was still growling but it was low in his chest. It took me a minute to realize that he wasn't exactly looking at me but the part of me that was still connected to Adam. Realizing this too, he released me and took several steps back leaving me in the middle of the room with this wolf that I think is my father, towering over me like a monster.
"He won't shift back and is beyond reason. We need you to try to calm him down."
"Why is he like this?" I asked without daring to make a move toward or look at Adam. This wolf was obviously angry. I don't want to piss him off more.
"I called in the others to discuss a serious matter not expecting him to show up. He overheard it all and has been like this since."
"What was it?" I asked cautious watching the wolf as it began to take slow steps toward me to which I took back.
"My father."
Without even thinking I whipped around with wide eyes turning my back to the wolf. "You told them?"
"Rayne I had to--"
"No you didn't! There is a reason why no one knew what'd happened to me Adam! A damned good reason! I begged you not to tell him where I was because I'm tired of running!"
"And you shouldn't have to run anymore! You don't understand..." he shouted causing the wolf to growl deeply. When he spoke again his tone was considerably softer, "I thought about it and thought about ways to pretend you never told me that but then I realized I couldn't. I don't know why it bothers me the way it does but I hate him now. I didn't care for my poor excuse for a father as it was and then you told me what he did to you providing me with a reason for my dislike to turn into hate! What kind of man does that to a woman--a child?! I feel like I owe you for everything he has done to you but how could I even begin to do that in a way that would make up for how my father--MY father wronged you?"
"By keeping your mouth shut! That's how! I've lived with this for years and I was just fine with suppressing those memories!"
"The humans aren't the only ones with laws Rayne!" his anger was back but now he didn't care that the wolf version of my father was growling what I take as warnings at him. "We do not tolerate abuse and certainly not murder! As a former member of this Council he knew full well what he was doing and for that he needs to be brought in and punished! I'm sorry you had to hear this from me Roger and I'm sorry Rayne if you feel like I broke your trust but this has to be done." Storming out of the room he had the doors closed behind him. I watched him until he was out of sight reluctantly turning back to the wolf.
He was now whimpering like a sad puppy trying to nuzzle my neck with his large snout. After what he just heard, I know for a fact now he isn't going to ask me if any of this is true. Instinct led me to stroking his soft fur with both my hands. Realization led me to unwanted tears. I thought I could outrun Dalton. That I could live my life the way I had been with that being my best kept secret and yet it's now exposed. I told the wrong person the truth and now I'll have to deal with the outcome which may very well mean seeing my abuser again.