Reina's P.O.V
After the whole incident in the Hospital with Gaara trying to kill Lee and Guy-sensei scolding us about not fighting before the real exam itself, I couldn't stop overthinking over small things. When I look at myself in the mirror, I... I don't see myself. I see a spitting image of Gaara in my place.
I was really starting to believe that I was like him and that these were signs; that the hallucinations were telling me 'you're just like him whether you like it or not'. Why was it like this? I don't want to be compared to...to someone like him.
As I said before, during the preliminaries, all Gaara really needed was some love. But seeing his mental state... Finding him that love he needs is going to be a real difficult adventure. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I tilted my head to the side and I stared up at the stars in the sky.
After yesterday's events, I've been doing nothing but staring at the damned sky. I could see why Shika loved doing this. The sky was beautiful; breathtaking.
"If only I could be as laid back as him... He never worries about much, or at least that's what it seems like..." I muttered out quietly, reaching my hand out towards the sky.
I let out a deep breath, and I inhaled the clean, fresh air. Surprisingly, this was...relaxing. A smile made its way to my face.
"You know, I actually worry about a lot of things."
I jumped and did a double take.
"Sh-Shika?" I blurted out, my heart beating rapidly. "You scared the heck out of me!"
I glared at him softly and he simply smiled at this. He knew that my glare was just for show and that it had no real meaning behind it.
"Well, hello to you too, Reina." He said with a roll of his eyes as he sat down beside me.
I grinned sloppily, "So, what brings you up here?" I asked him.
He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "I usually gaze at the stars on a daily basis...this spot being one of my favorites. I should be the one asking you that." He stated.
I nodded slowly, "I guess you got me there..." I mumbled out in defeat.
He looked over at me, staring into my eyes. "Do you mind telling me why you are up here in the first place? This is unusual of you to be doing something like this. I mean, aren't you a cold-hearted, stoic expression girl?" He said, teasing me with a small smirk.
I rolled my eyes and pushed Shika softly, "Oh shut up." I said.
I sighed afterwards and kicked my feet up in the air.
"You're right, though. I'm not the kind of person to be staring at the night sky, after all, like you said, I'm a cold-hearted girl." I spat.
He frowned, "I didn't mean it like that, and you know that." He said.
"I know, I know... Sorry. I just...got offended I guess. I haven't been myself recently. I'm sure you can tell, right?" I mumbled, sadly.
He nodded quickly. I shut my eyes, 'I knew it... So it is obvious that I've been different. That's just what I wanted.'
"I'm not trying to sound like a creep or anything, but... Man, this is such a drag...but is it because of Gaara? The way he is with you?" He asked me.
I immediately tensed up. Just his name makes me shiver and go tense. After all that's happened, I feel like I'm traumatized in some way. I know I'm not, but it feels like I am.
"Y-Yeah... Sort of, that's really the gist of it, really, but not the full story." I added.
Shika scooted closer to me. I watched him suspiciously; just I'm case he was trying to pull something on me.
He placed his hand on mine. Intertwining his hand with my own as I gripped onto the edge of the building we were sitting on.
"You can trust me, you troublesome woman." He whispered.
My mouth parted open as I went to shoot back a snotty answer. Instead, I closed my mouth and smiled.
"Do... Well, do you want me to be straightforward with you or do you prefer that I shorten the story down a bit?" I stated bluntly.
He scratched his cheek with his finger, "Straight forward, I guess." He said.
I nodded, "Alright." I replied.
I then took a deep breath and started to prepare to let out all of this stress I've been holding in.
"But...but before you start, I want you to know that I'm your friend here. I-I just want you to know that, you can always trust me when no one is there for you." Shika muttered out, squeezing my hand softly and he gained a pink tint to his cheeks.
I grinned madly, "Thanks... That really means a lot to me, Shika." I replied.
He coughed into his other hand, "An-Anyways, go on." He stammered.
I smirked, "You sure I can go on?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes, "Hurry up, you troublesome woman." He scoffed.
I laughed, "Okay, okay... I'll start."
I took a deep breath.
"As you can tell, Gaara acts much differently around me. Crazier, I should say. He, um, has a thing for me... Recently he's been calling me his mate, like he owned me. As if I were his property." I spat out.
I clenched my teeth together, "I'm not an object that can be claimed, and I'm a person with feelings; with a soul. I deserve to be treated properly and not like a damn toy. But that's not the thing that's been on my mind recently..." I said.
He raised his eyebrow, "What do you mean?" He asked.
I frowned, "The main thing that's been bothering me is...well, who I am." I answered.
Shika's face contorted, "I... I don't understand." He went on.
"I know it's confusing. What I mean is that myself overall has been causing me the most stress. I don't know who...or what I am anymore. I'm so lost." I whispered softly, chewing at my bottom lip.
"I feel like a monster. No, I know that I'm a monster. I'm like Gaara! Maybe worse than he'll ever be!" I cried out. "I'm a freak, for Jashin's sake. Just look at me!"
My lip trembled and I squeezed Shika's had tightly as I cried softly.
"You don't have any idea how it feels to be hated on... To be looked at as if you were a monster who deserved to die and rot for the rest of their life. I hate it so much. And now... I'm starting to believe all of this crap people say about me." I sniffled.
"I'm a monster."
.
.
.
.
"Maybe you are."
This made my gaze snap over to him and my eyes widen.
"Wh-What?" I growled out.
He looked me straight in the eye, "Maybe you are a monster, but that doesn't change anything about you. You're still you, you're still Reina. The girl that everyone loves and cares about dearly." He said.
My eyes widened even more.
"Don't let your thoughts or anyone get to you. You're perfect the way you are. So what you have flaws? Different looks? Everyone does. No one is the same. You should love yourself for who you are..." He whispered.
Tears dripped down my chin, "Sh-Shika... Why?"
He smiled, "There's no need to ask me why. I'm just stating the truth. Love yourself. You're amazing, Reina. You really are. So don't let anyone get to you." He whispered and he pulled me into his arms.
I wrapped my arms around him and embraced him tightly. Nuzzling my face in neck, I smiled and laughed quietly.
"Thank you, Shika. That really helped me... I'll make sure to keep those words in mind from now on." I whispered.
"Good."
He kissed my cheek.
"I love you Reina...as a friend of course."
I laughed.
"I love you as a friend, too, Shika."
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Yes...this is a small filler of sorts ^^ Honestly, I'm pleased with the fact that I actually got a chapter out. I hope ye all enjoyed.