CHAPTER FIVE
Max's thoughts [after the events of the last chapter]
After seeing Mia that first night, guilt and regret hit me like a fucking train. Not being there seeing her grow inside Ella. Not being there at the hospital with Ella. Not being there any damn minute of the year we spent apart.
It took me 2 weeks with no contact whatsoever regarding Mia and/or Ella to be able to gain the rational part of myself back. I know myself well enough to know that if I didn't start or at least tried to think rationally again, an hour after seeing them I would be desperately calling Ella again. It was either try to gain control of myself or screw everything up before even starting to fix it. I wanted to rebuild my relationship with Ella. It wouldn't be the same as it was before I sent it all to hell but it could be similar to it.
We all make mistakes and that's why people deserve second chances. I know that. What I didn't know was if my mistake deserved a second chance. I wouldn't blame Ella if she didn't. I mean I wouldn't give myself one either. I had destroyed, no, scratch that- I had shattered her heart into more than a million pieces. However, I wanted to be part of Mia's life. I wanted to be the father I never had. All I had from my father was his money. He was never home because he was busy working making money for us. I didn't want to be financially there for Mia, like my father was. I wanted to there to be what a real father is; someone who takes care of you, someone who teaches you knew things, someone who reads you a story, someone who plays with you, every goddamn thing my father never did. I didn't want to be like him but what I didn't realize was, I was already becoming him. That night had been my first step into Dick Road and I intended for it to be my last. I was going to do anything I could to have Ella's trust again, but it was double work and effort now. I was not only gaining the trust on her part but also Mia's.
That night made me realize how I took her and her love for me for granted. I never realized Ella was the one until I had completely lost her due to my foolishness. All I cared about was those Friday nights and weekends of partying and going out with the boys, but in the year we spent apart I cut ties with people who were up to no good and became mature enough to know that my daughter and Ella over exceed the importance of alcohol, hangover and my useless friends.
If Ella didn't give me a second chance, I at least wanted to be involved in Mia's life as much as she allowed me to. I would never take her to court for anything that had to do with Mia. I already made her suffer enough pain and hurt and I didn't want her suffering more.
I wanted to have my relationship with Ella back but what I didn't know was if she already had found someone else. I sure hadn't been with anyone else after her, Ella had rather ruined me for other women. The thought of her with someone else was like a punch in the gut. And I deserved it. I had her and I pushed her away but at the end of it all, what matters is Ella and Mia's happiness not mine.
Something I regret more than the words I said to her that night is - during our time together - how little I expressed my love for her to her and how I never told her how important she really was to me. And how equally important Mia was to me now, too. A part of me was deeply afraid, I'd never be able to tell her.
From now on, I was going to try my damnedest best to make things between us right again. I wouldn't hold back any step of the way. My goal was to have Ella back and I would do anything in my power to make it happen because I want her to be mine again. Because I love her.
I love Ella May Daniels and our daughter.
But did she still love me back? Or was it too late?
*** Ella's POV ***
After spending Sunday afternoon with Max and have he answer my question, I started to realize that he still might care but at the moment I had no space for those thoughts. It was 12:39pm and I was in the middle of a conference thinking about yesterday's encounter when I should be focusing on the slides being displayed, by a projector, in the white wall in front of me.
"Well, folks that's all we have for today. I'll be seeing you again for the next part of the project on Wednesday. Thank you and have a good day!" One of the workers from the company we were collaborating with exclaimed
Thank God he was done. Max had filled my mind during the whole thing and I was barely able to take notes. I was wondering how long it would take him to contact me again this time when my phone rang.
Incoming Call: Max Wilde
Question answered. "Hello?"
"Ella. Hey, how are you?"
"Fine, thank you. What's up?" I quickly asked. I already knew the purpose of Max's call - which was Mia but I felt the need to ask anyway.
"I was wondering if I could pick you up from work to have lunch. With me?" Guess I was wrong. Max's nervous tone wouldn't be noticeable for anyone who didn't really know him but I did.
"Yeah, sure. I'm actually free at the moment, you can pick me up now if you want."
"Oh... Great. Yeah. I'll be there in 10mins then" I could tell he wasn't expecting me to agree so willingly but like I said before, I was letting things be.
"Sounds good. See you in a bit," I said before hanging up.
I met Max in the lobby of the building. We drove to a nice restaurant near midtown New York. The chat we had whilst eating reminded me of our relationship. We used to do catch-up lunches every time we were free during the day. It was a bittersweet memory.
"How's your day going so far?" I questioned before taking a bite of my salad.
"Busy. I've been rearranging a few stuff, setting them my way now that the company is entirely mine" When we broke up, Max had recently inherited his father's company, Wilde Productions, due to his father's retirement. I guess it was completely his now.
"I'm glad things have worked out for you" I had meant what I said, I was happy for him. He had worked hard to keep the company's success while his father was sick.
"Thank you. What about yours?" He said, setting his fork down to put his complete attention on me.
"I've been a bit distracted so I obviously haven't been as productive as you," I joked.
After finishing our meal, Max paid the bill and drove me back to offices of Kerrington Enterprises. Surprisingly enough our lunch and drive were never awkward. Whenever we didn't talk, we were surrounded by a comfortable silence which I was grateful for. As Max walked me to the entrance of the building, Braden, Mr. Kerrington's son, approached me while exiting the lobby. He was wearing a white shirt with dress pants and well-polished shoes. His black hair was combed to the side like always, leaving his brown eyes uncovered. He had a not-too muscular body and was probably one inch or two smaller than Max.
"Ella," I felt Max set his hand in my lower back, his fingers hugging my hips when Braden went to hugged me. Was he trying to stake his claim? Or what?
"Braden, hi." Braden had always been extremely polite and respectful to me since the day I joined his father's staff. We've been good friends ever since. I didn't doubt that he felt attracted to me but he had never crossed the line. Braden was attractive and great guy but I never felt anything more than friends between us to want to take it further.
"I was looking for you" He said as we pulled away and Max eyed him.
"What for?" I asked before turning to Max and introducing him to Braden "Max, this is Braden Kerrington. Mr. Kerrington's son. Braden, this is Max Wilde." I decide to spare him any details regarding Max and our past. We were friends but not enough good friends for me to explain myself. Max and Braden shook hands before saying, "Nice to meet you" to each other.
"I wanted to invite you to a small dinner my mother will be hosting this Friday night. It's just a gathering between family friends so I thought I'd asked you. Both, mum and dad would be pleased to have you." Braden said, answering the question I had asked before introducing him.
"Sure, I'd love to!" I felt Max's body stiffen and his fingers tighten around my hips at my response.
"Great! It'll be at around 7:00pm and it'll end early so you don't have to worry about Mia." He smiled. I didn't think it was possible for Max to become stiffer than he had after Braden's mentioning of Mia.
"Thank you," I replied as Braden said goodbye and left the building.
As soon as Braden was out of our sight, I turned to say goodbye to Max. When I did, I wasn't expecting to be as close to him as I was. My pulse instantly quicken at the feel of his body's warmth. Everything felt so familiar. "Thank you for the meal. I guess, I.. I'll see you soon."
"You don't have to thank me, Ella." He paused, delicately removing a strand of my caramel brown-blonde hair out of my face and placing it behind my ear, later cradling my cheek with his hand. My hazel-dark green eyes stared into his blue ones. I didn't know what he was planning to do but my body wanted him to kiss me so badly I felt like I was going to hyperventilate from need. This would be our first intimidate encounter since our break-up a year ago and our reunion nearly 3 weeks ago. But as much as I missed him and his touch, nothing could happen. I was at work and Mr. Kerrington wasn't very fond of PDA on working grounds. I needed to keep my professional persona.
"I have to get back to work" I barely whispered.
My words seemed to have taken him out of the wave of intimate feelings that was about to crush on us. "Right. I'll call you during the week to plan my next visit to see Mia, ok?" Max said as I nodded. He kissed my forehead before removing his hand from my cheek and leaving.