This is my first time writing an AU exciting :)))
There's a lot of flopping from event to event so here's a key to make sure you don't get lost
Past tense
Present
Secret Love Song PT II By Little Mix
We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you, I die a little more
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It'll never be enough
As you drive me to my house
I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down
You and I both have to hide on the outside
Where I can't be yours and you can't be mine
But I know this, we got a love that is homeless
Why can't I hold you in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours
Why can't I say that I'm in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftops
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours
It's obvious you're meant for me
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly
Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep
But I'll never show it on my face
But we know this, we got a love that is hopeless
Why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours
Why can't I say that I'm in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftops
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours
I don't wanna live love this way
I don't wanna hide us away
I wonder if it ever will change
I'm living for that day, someday
When you hold me in the street
And you kiss me on the dance floor
I wish that we could be like that
Why can't we we be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours
Why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours
Why can't I say that I'm in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftops
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours
Why can't we be like that?
Wish we could be like that
Y O U R P O V
You walked over to the other boys as Niall pulled you in to take a bow, your heart aches as his arm wraps around your waist you raise your arms before taking a big bow smiling at the crowd as you pull away going to the other side of the stage to take another bow.
"Thank you so much Chicago!" You say blowing kisses to the crowd the crowd goes wild as the band continues to play music to the last song.
"Best song ever.." Liam sings as Louis throws water all over him laughing.
"It was the best song ever!" "Yeah!" He finishes and we all run off the stage when you get off stage you could hear the crowd screaming loudly as you and the other boys rush backstage and out of the stadium the cool air hitting you a few fans were already outside they had their phones out as we all got in the van you got in first Louis sitting next to you, Harry sat next to him then Liam and lastly Niall. You snuck a glance at Niall successfully before sitting back as the van started moving.
"That was siiiiiick!" Louis exclaimed Harry laughing agreeing, you looked out the window sadly, you hated it, I mean you loved being in a band you loved singing you loved the fans but you hated being told what to do you hated the fact that you couldn't be with the one person who knew you the most the one person who understood you since the beginning you hated lying and pretending like you weren't in love with him every time you looked at him, you hated the stunts you had to deal with you hated watching him be with someone else ask questions in interviews about someone else you hated how much it affected the both of you, you hated how you couldn't sit next to each other you hated how you couldn't touch him how you couldn't interact anymore you hated everything you were tired of hiding you were tired of faking.
You were the only girl in the band and they felt like if you and Niall came out as a couple the band wouldn't get as much as they could if you and Niall stayed band mates who dated high profile celebrities, they didn't want you to be in love with Niall they wanted you to be in love with someone else but You loved Niall.
There was nothing you could do about that you couldn't change how you felt no matter how hard you tried.
A tear slipped down your cheek as you continued to look out the window blocking everyone out.
You were miserable.
You and Niall never really talked anymore, and when you did it was cold distant it wasn't him it wasn't you.
When you got together all those years ago, back when everything was right in the world.
"If we tell them then we'll never be free (Y/N) we'll be trapped." He said
"We have to try Ni I don't want us to be a secret anymore I love you they'll understand." You pleaded holding his hands.
"Okay fine, I'll schedule a meeting with Modest tomorrow." He agrees but you can tell he was a little skeptical about it. You've been together for almost three years in secret because of the Xfactor you didn't want to mess with the votes since that competition relied on the fans you were scared they wouldn't like it but now you were ready with your career already launching off and your fan base growing larger and larger you were sure the management team would understand.
But boy were you wrong .
You walked into the room to see two men and one lady the lady sat in the front and all of their arms were folded as you and Niall walked in you stood next to Niall nervously before speaking.
"Before you all say anything I want to share a story with you. A story about how two people fell effortlessly In love , it started off in a competition they met in the line and they instantly liked each other they were each others first fans and they were both rooting for each other and when they got through the auditions they left not knowing if they'd see each other again but he never stayed off her mind when they went to boot camp the girl was looking for that boy, but couldn't find him but she continued on to her journey when it came to the last straw she wasn't picked neither was he they both were devastated . Until their names were called again they were formed into a band the girl saw the boy and was ecstatic that she'd found him again and that they'd be together in the same band, throughout the competition they had grown closer and closer and the girl found herself falling for her best friend come to think of it she probably fell for him way earlier but she was just now realizing it, she was scared that it would ruin their friendship and everything they've built but she didn't know he had felt the same and he wanted to be with her just as much as she wanted him, he finally grew the courage to tell her and she immediately responded they got together they fell in love and are still in love, but they were in secret everything they did everything they had felt were secret when they flirted in front of cameras it was just seen as teasing when he whispered he loved her in her ear during an interview when they kissed it wasn't seen. secret touches during interviews were just that secret. They wanted that to end they wanted to be free so bad but they were scared but now they aren't anymore they are ready to let the whole world how in love they are. they are ready." You finished your story looking at them
"No you can't." One of the men spoke sternly causing your heart to drop you looked at him surprisedly.
"Yeah with the movie premiere coming up your not going to mess up anything by telling the whole world you're a couple and have been not only will the fans be angry for not knowing about this, they'll be sad because they will know that they have no chance with either of you it'll bring a bad reputation for the band itself and our sales will start going down and the fans will start leaving." The lady spoke
"But-"
"I'm sorry but this contract forbids you from doing anything we don't agree to in fact now that we know that you've been in a relationship almost this whole time you've prohibited from flirty on camera going on dates in public from kissing touching in a non platonic way you're also prohibited to tell any other band members that you're together , now that we know that some of the fans were right about you two you won't be sitting together in interviews in fact you might as well break up right now because you can't be together it's not going to work. So now that you've told us this very valuable information you both are required find your on flat you are not allowed to live together anymore and you will be dating high profile celebrities for sales and promo. Well if you're a real thing I wonder what else is real... Tom phone Louis and Harry those Larries might be on to something real we'll have to fix that now won't we? Thanks for telling us but you probably would've been better off not." She smiled sweetly but her smile only sent daggers through your heart, tears were threatening to spill as she waved her hand dismissing us you looked at Niall sadly his face was in a frown as he looked at you before walked out of the door you followed him out running after him in the hall.
"Niall wait!" You called and he stopped tears were rolling down his face.
"I knew it! I fucking knew it." He sobbed and you looked at him sadly tears slipping out of your eyes.
"I'm so sorry I didn't know they woul-"
"No forget it (Y/N) this is all your fault you were suppose to save us you but you made it worst instead you ruined us." He snapped his voice breaking.
"I thought it would be different I thought they would understand!" You cried
"Well they didn't! Any other bright ideas?" He asked mocking you.
"I didn't mean to-"
"No just forget it." He shook his head turning away from you.
"Niall!" You sobbed watching him as he continued to walk away.
You thought it would get better , but it didn't Niall was right you did ruin everything.
"(Y/N) we're at the airport." Louis' voice broke though your thoughts you looked at him seeing that it was only him all the other boys had already gotten out.
"Are you okay love?" He asks
"Yeah just a really bad memory." You answer and he nods getting out of the van.
You sigh getting out the van following Louis in the airport to see at least a hundred fans all screaming with their phones out. Two body guards surrounded you and Louis as you made your way through the airport smiling for any camera that you could.
"Chicago's done next stop Milwaukee!" Liam exclaimed as we all gathered outside to wait for the private jets.
Three private jets landed wind blowing everywhere as half of the crew got on one and the other half got on the other one Liam was the first to get on the first one, Louis and Harry getting on the second one leaving you and Niall standing outside Niall looked at you for the first time in forever before speaking.
"Leave it to Louis and Harry to both get on at the same time and leave us with the last one to ride together." He laughed your heart was racing and you were surprised he was talking to you so surprised you hadn't heard a word he had said.
"H-huh?" You responded
"Nothing." His answered his smile fading as he got on the third one you sighed following him in the jet. You sat on the couch looking at Niall surprised to see that his eyes were already locked on yours.
You looked away before the butterflies could start pulling your phone out opening Twitter,
@Official(Y/N): It's going to be a long plane ride....
You put your headphones in trying to relax and thirty minutes into the ride your eyes were closed before something plopped down next to you your eyes opened slowly Niall looking at you his eyes unreadable.
Not that you've been able to read him for the past two years.
You paused your music before sitting up looking at him.
"What is it?" You question as he leans toward you and you jump not expecting him to be so close.
"Why are you avoiding me?" He finally asks and you look at him in shock.
"I'm not avoiding you." You answer almost annoyed that he would put the blame on you.
"We never talk anymore and I hate it I hate it so much (Y/N)." He admits causing your heart to warm and that little sense of your annoyed mood fading away almost instantly.
The jet lands and you look at the door before quickly looking at Niall.
"I do too." You agree
"I miss you (Y/N) I miss us." He says and you nod your heart beating so loud you're almost sure he can hear it.
The jet door opens but you are still looking at Niall waiting for him to finish.
"I want us to go back-"
"Niall what's the hold up you were suppose to be out two minutes ago." Perrie states looking at him not even acknowledging you sitting there.
"Sorry I-"
"It's okay just come on." She interrupts him before getting off the jet, Niall gets up causing your heart to drop.
"Wait Ni." You stop him your heart aching at the familiar nickname that you couldn't help from slipping out.
He turns around looking at you.
"What were you going to say?" You ask and he shrugs.
"Oh yeah I um I wanted us to go back to being friends." He answers and it's nothing you thought it would be you smile looking up at him nodding silently.
"Yeah.." "Yeah I'd like that." You respond and he nods smiling at you before exiting the jet, outside you were fine inside you were screaming.
"You think I made the right choice?" You asked looking up at the only person who knew about your relationship with Niall.
Lou the stylist
"Yes, (Y/N) you and Niall are perfect for each other both of you deserve each other." She answered taking a piece of your hair before flat ironing it.
"I just feel like now that we've told each other how we feel it'll never be the same we'll never get to be friends again, and because we are in a band this can't happen if we don't work out it'll ruin everything."
"Thats because you guys aren't meant to be just friends, it won't not work out because I can see how much you two care and love each other. You'll be fine." She assures causing you to smile.
"Thanks Lou, you always know the right things to say."
"I've had experience with this before girl I know everything trust me." She says and you look at her surprisingly.
"Really? With who?" You ask and she shakes her head.
"Secrets are meant to be secrets unless that someone doesn't want it to be a secret anymore." She smiles and you don't push her you just sit back.
"That's true." You agree and she laughs.
You got off the plane to see Niall and Perrie hugging you quickly looked away not wanting to see them.
You hated it so much.
Your body guard Riley held his arms out for you, you looked over to see Louis riding on his body guard Preston's back you laugh shaking your head.
"Real mature Louis really!" You teased and he pouted at you.
"Whatever (Y/N) you're missing out!" He yelled back as Preston carried him away you laughed again before jumping down to Riley he caught you landing you on your feet.
"Thanks Riles." You smiled and he nods before guiding you along.
Niall and Perrie were the first to enter the airport they were hand in hand, and you could hear the screaming fans getting louder as you got closer and closer.
"Are you and Niall dating?" A fan asked and you smiled as you looked at Niall you were at a book signing in London.
"He understands me you know?" You answered
"You are?" She questioned and Niall laughed at you not giving her an answer.
"I knew it." She says after neither one of you denied.
"You guys are so cute together." Liam winks thinking that there's some inside joke not knowing that you weren't joking.
"Thank you." Niall comments smiling Liam laughs his ass off almost like its the funniest thing in the world.
You walked through the airport the guards blocking you from the fans.
"Correct me if I'm wrong you and Louis live together right?" The interviewer asks Harry in which he nods.
"And (Y/N) you and Niall live together?" She question.
"Yes." You answer smiling at Niall.
"So Liam you're just on your own then." She observes and Liam nods.
"Yeah I guess I am we all live next to each other though." He laughs she nods.
"(Y/N)! PLEASE I LOVE YOU!" A fan screams.
"Niall do you still live with (Y/N) or did you grow out of the bromance romance thing." An interviewer asks.
"Yeah we grew out of it, she actually moved out a few months ago." He answers not looking at you the interviewer nods before landing her eyes on you.
"Is this true (Y/N)?" She asks you and you clear your throat.
"Um yeah, think I might get a place in the states." You answer shifting in your seat uncomfortably.
When you got to the hotel you immediately went to your room glad to be a girl so you didn't have to share rooms, you closed the door before crashing down onto your bed all of the emotions you held in for the past two hours all coming down as you broke down into sobs.
"Please." You cried
"Let me be free." You sobbed uncontrollably tears streaming down your face.
"Are you sure you're okay." Louis asks after that brutal interview you were beginning to realize just how much you ruined things. Niall passed back his eyes landing on yours causing your eyes to light up.
"Ni-"
"Louis." Niall called his eyes not leaving yours Louis looked up from you.
"Yeah mate?" He asks
"I'm going to get Nando's you want anything?" He asks averting his eyes away from you.
"No I'm good." He answers
"Alright guess I'll see you back at the hotel then." He responds before walking away. Louis pulls his attention back to you.
"When did you decide to move out?" He asks you and you look at him confusedly,
"Why are you asking me this?" You question
"You and Niall used to be inseparable and now you and him are acting like you aren't even on the same planet seriously (Y/N) what's up?" He presses and you sigh.
"What's up with you and Harry Lou?" You ask harshly his eyes widen and you can tell he's taken back.
"N-nothing-"
"Same with me and Niall nothing now will you just drop it Louis seriously." You say and he rolls his eyes,
"Fine (Y/N) but don't act like we haven't noticed somethings off here." He stands up walking away you let out a sigh of relief looking away.
Your phone rings and you sniffle picking your phone up you clear your throat wiping your face before sliding left to answer.
"Hello?" You answered
"(Y/N) I-have you been crying?" The voice asks and you sigh.
"No." You lie.
"Okay I'll just pretend like I believe you." Lou tells you causing you to laugh.
"Okay I was." You admit.
"Why babe what happened?" She asks and you sighed.
"I happened Perrie happened me being in love with Niall happened modest happened me wanting to leave the band happened." You answer stopping yourself from breaking down and crying again.
"Whoa whoa whoa...back up rewind a few steps." She says.
"I want to leave the band Lou I don't want to be controlled anymore I hate it I hate that I can't be with the person I love the most I hate that I have to watch him talk about someone else be with someone else I hate that I have to pretend." You tell her your voice breaking.
You truly were tired.
"Things will get better babe you're not the only one whose tired." She told you.
"How Lou. How will things get better?"
"So far it's only gotten worst." You say it was true not only couldn't you interact with Niall but you had to pretend like everything was okay like you weren't broken inside like you didn't care.
"I have an idea!" She exclaims.
"What?"
"Schedule a meeting with modest and threaten to leave the band if you can't be with Niall you're in the middle of a tour they can't fire you because your in the band they need you so they'll have to let you and Niall be together." She explains and you think about it,
"That's perfect Lou!" You praise her
"We've been one direction!" Harry says pulling you into a group hug an arm rests around your waist you look up to see Niall, you let go picking your mic up before running up the catwalk waving to the fans.
"Thank you so much San Diego See you soon!" You smile running back as the fireworks go off.
"It's also really risky." She warns
"Harry has always been the light of the band he's always so happy and lovable he keeps the heart in the band and he loves it so much."
"Niall is probably one of the most carefree happy go lucky lads I've ever met in my life he's always so energized he lifts the spirits up in he band him and Harry."
"Liam is the responsible one he's very determined and that's where he gets the name daddy direction.. Well he used to be we've corrupted him a bit."
"Louis is you never really know what's going on in that head of his he's fun he's that one who lives life to the fullest he never misses a beat on doing something crazy."
"(Y/N)'s the only girl in the band so she feels like she's special well she is we all treat her like our little princess she's precious she's funny and sweet she's sometimes sour and she has that mouth of hers she's great though her attitude Is bizzare sometimes but she likes to think she can get away with it."
"It might not work and you need to be ready for that." She says.
"I'm ready for anything Lou."
You smiled as Niall wrapped his arms around you, the music flowing through your flat, you put your arms around his neck looking him in the eye.
"I wish we could be like this everywhere." You said to Niall as your bodies swayed to the beat.
"Me too." He agreed smiling at you as he twirled you around.
"You know I'll always love you right?" Niall asked looking you in the eyes.
You couldn't help but smile as you remembered the first time he ever said he loved you, you nod holding him closely.
"I love you too Ni." You say
"So much." You add.
"It'll take planning it'll take power it'll take bravery." She informs you.
"I can do it." You respond .
"Okay so you're actually doing it you're standing up to modest for your love." She says and you think about it.
For your love.
"But what about Niall what if he doesn't love me anymore." You started to panic
"What if he really wants to be just friends?" You question.
"Remember what I told you. You know he still loves and cares for you I can tell every time he looks at you its full of love I'm sorry if you don't see the love radiating all around you but it's there even when you two try to hide it." She assures.
"Then I'm doing it." You respond smiling.
"Niall please this isn't you talk to me!" You chased him down the hall backstage.
"(Y/N) STOP FOLLOWING ME PLEASE JUST STOP." He finally turns around you were taken back for a moment your jaw dropping, but you compose yourself.
"No I won't, I know you Niall better than anyone else I know you're miserable I know you can't sleep at night, I know how much you love me no matter how hard you try to hide it."
" I-I don't love you anymore." He tells you and you shake your head.
"Yes-"
"NO I DONT!" He yells causing your heart to break for the hundredth time this month you couldn't stop the broken sob from slipping out of your mouth your eyes land on his eyes, and for the first time you didn't recognize them you couldn't read them.
You could hear somebody coming down the hallway towards you and Niall.
"OK." Is all you managed to say before walking away.
~~~~~~~~~~
You looked out the window as Niall pulled up at your flat, you couldn't stop the silent tears from rolling down, you don't even look at him as you get out of the car.
He doesn't love you anymore.
You ran to your door your hand touching the door nob but you couldn't even go in you couldn't move you broke down right there in the rain.
"(Y/N)!" Niall's voice boomed you heard a car door close as footsteps rushed towards you.
You were shivering but you couldn't feel it, Niall came up to you taking his jacket off wrapping it around you.
He doesn't say anything as you wrap your arms around him sobbing as he completes the hug holding you to him.
You cried holding on to him as if this was the last time you'd see him,
You were crying so loud almost louder than the pouring rain you knew that you would be miserable without Niall and you couldn't help but blame yourself.
"I love you." He whispers but you were crying so hard that you didn't know what he said.
"I'm going to free us," You said.
The next day.
You woke up and for the first time forever you woke up happy. You exited your room before going into the next one to see Liam and Louis playing video games.
"Good morning boys!" You piped causing Louis to look at you weirdly.
"Morning (Y/N)." Liam responded and you smiled at him.
"You're awfully happy this morning." Louis noted .
"Well Louis there's a lot to be happy for!" You responded.
"Now where's Paul?" You question just as Harry comes out of the bathroom with a towel over his head.
"Why do you need Paul?" He asks
"Why do you need to know?" You ask back Harry shrugs before taking the towel off ruffling his hair.
"He's probably outside or something." He answers and you nod.
"Thank you." You respond before heading out of the room to find Paul.
After searching for about twenty minutes you finally find him,m
"Paul!" You call and he turns around before walking towards you.
"Can you schedule me a meeting with modest?" You ask and he nods.
"Yeah of course what time?" He question.
"Now." You answer
"Okay in a rush I see, um lets do an hour from now I'll get right on it (Y/N)." He says chuckling a bit you nod as he walks away from you.
~~~~~~~~
"If you don't free us then I quit I'm done I don't want to be miserable anymore." You finish staring at them with the coldest eyes.
"Really..?" The lady countered
"Well I suppose we can allow you and Niall to come out, since you guys will be going on a year long break." She says and your face brightens.
"Yeah okay fine you can be together." She answers and you smile so wide you're almost sure your face will fall off.
"If I let you know.... I'm here for you, then maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh." Niall sang staring at you, you smile before bringing up your mic to sing.
"And I've just let these little things slip right out my mouth, cause it's you it's you it you they add up to." You and Harry sang together.
"FINISH THE SONG DETROIT!" He yelled and you smiled before walking over to sit next to Niall he smiled at you as you sat down.
"And all your little things." You all sang but your eyes were only on Niall's.
"KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS." The crowd started to chant you looked around the stadium laughing before looking back at Niall and before you could say anything his lips were on yours, you kissed back smiling as the crowd went wild.
"I love you (Y/N) thank you so much." He says after you pull away.
"I love you too Ni." You smile.
"Give it up for (Y/N) and Niall's kiss!" Harry exclaims causing you to laugh as the band starts playing the next song.
In the end you were gained freedom for your love after the boys found out about it they all gained up to fire modest, you have a new management and there were secrets that came out with the new management.
You were finally happy again, and so was everyone else your love for Niall was stronger than any management team and that's what gained the freedom.
You fan base grew and were actually happy to hear the new that you two were a couple, everyone loved it.
You were Niall's and you were so happy to let everyone know how in love you were, you kissed in public, you sang to each other during concerts all those secret touches were no longer secret people asked about you and Niall a lot and you were happy to answer them you bought a new flat and moved back in together.
Your secret was no longer a secret and you couldn't be more happy.
Hope you liked it :) I literally wrote this in like a day , this was very exciting to write I loved every second of it .
Vote share and comment please
Love youuuuu guys sooo much thank you for reading.