Edited:
(Please check out my other book, "Her Muslim Driver.")
Published: Friday, November 27th 2015 7:53 am
Jafar:
Flashback:
I don't remember how old I was at the time, or why I remember this detail for detail, but it happened. I'm sure of it now. It was a couple weeks before my birthday and I was so excited that I couldn't sleep. Abu just arrived back from his work trip and was working late in his office when I came walking down the stairs, my blue power ranger in hand. At that age, I remember taking it everywhere and being obsessed with the show. A bunch of colorful ninjas fighting crime. Who wouldn't love that as a kid?
"Abu?"
He looked up at me with a frown on his face, papers in hand.
"Jafar," He put the papers down and motioned me forward. I complied. "It's late, why aren't you asleep?"
I remember shrugging my small shoulders at him. "I can't sleep."
"Why not?"
I shrugged again. "Just because. Ummi already tucked me in, but can you read me another power ranger story?"
He stood up and came over to me and bent down, kneeling eye level with me. "Okay, son. Just one."
"Okay," I smiled and walked out of the room and towards the steps, then turned back around when I remembered to ask him something. I wanted him to know which book to bring up. When I made it back down and to the office door, he was talking to someone on the phone.
"We already discussed this," He ran a hand over his face in frustration, furiously typing on his computer. "No, I told you that already. I also don't have anything to do with it. You kept it from me, Ariana."
And by that time I heard movement upstairs and ran so Ummi wouldn't catch me awake.
End of flashback:
That's all I remember, but when Luca told me his mothers name, I have no doubt that my father knows her. Very well. By the time I made it back up to his room to ask him about it, he was sitting up in his bed, watching whatever was on TV. At my entrance, he looked up.
"Who was this mystery person? I was sure I payed off all my hit men," He cracked a smile at his joke, but I just stood there, staring at him, preparing how I was going to ask him this when I felt I already knew the answer. Well, partly.
"What's wrong? You look like you've been given a death threat or something. Why--"
"Who's, Ariana?" I cut him off, pursing my lips for as I awaited an answer. He froze at her name and sighed.
"How did she come up? Was that her who's downstairs?"
"No," I shook my head and sat at my previous chair. "But her son, Luca, was."
At that he visibly paled.
"H-her son?" He questioned, and I nodded. What got into him? "How old did he look?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, thirties I guess. Why does it matter?"
"Because..." he gulped. "He's important in this story."
-*-
Ayah:
"Where is he?" I whispered to myself as I dialed Jafar's number again, and just like last time, no answer. He's been gone for a little over two hours now. I knew I should've gone with him to make sure he was back in time, especially with all of the effort everyone's put in. The decorations are up, the cake is here, all but Jafar.
"Did he answer?" Tehreem asked with Rahil in her arms, a towel around her like a shawl. All this morning Rahil was spitting up on whoever was holding him, and since we all have gotten dressed up for later, none of us were taking any chances.
"I think he's still at the hospital."
"Did he know to come here at the right time?"
I nodded. "Yes. I don't know what's keeping him. I'll try again."
As I began to dial the number again, I saw Jamila walking down the stairs and outside. Ever since that talk with her father and Tehreem, she's been quiet, in thought. It reminds me of when Jafar first learned of his fathers condition and could barely think straight. We almost crashed because of it!
But with the distant look she's sporting now with all the other problems she has, I'm starting to worry.
'I can't get to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep'
With a sigh, I hung up the phone and went in the direction of everyone else to finish some last minute changes. Where is he?
-*-
"When I was about eighteen, I met Ariana at her families pizza shop and we talked bout how cliché it was for an Italian family to own such a place. We immediately clicked. I wasn't the worst Muslim there was, but I had some deep faults. One big one that caused the situation we're in now: love. I don't know why, but with every girl I connected with, I thought I was in love. And right before I was to go to college, Ariana and I did something we both regretted. We both disgraced our parents honor, and most importantly, we weren't careful.
"She never told me about him until years later after she and her family moved to Italy, and I wasn't about to jump into a situation I wasn't ready for. Your mother doesn't know about Luca and Ariana even now, and to tell her that then, she would have left earlier than she did. I couldn't have that. I understood why she left, I wasn't there. I said I moved on, but I do regret not spending more time. The reason why I didn't is because a part of me knew I was forgetting the son I never bothered to meet by being around you, your sisters and brother. And for that I am sorry."
All my life I've been wanting an explanation to why he never bothered to show my sisters and I love or even bother to tell us why he couldn't. But now that I do know, I feel like it was a waste of time.
"So, you had another family in a different country for years and didn't tell us? Why?"
"I told you, I didn't want to hurt you all more than I already did. But now that he's here, I had to let this come to light."
"So you're going to start to be a father now?!" I exclaimed in anger, standing up from my seat. "It's bad enough that you stayed away from us, but then you're telling me that you abandoned another child over thirty years ago?"
"Abandoned?" He scoffed in disbelief. "I didn't know about him, and when I did, I learned he was in a different country, Jafar. Don't raise your voice towards me, son. Like it or not, I am your father."
"Sorry," I sighed and sat back down, but my anger stayed risen. Could anyone really blame me for being upset? He let himself believe that staying away from all five of his kids was for all of our betterment. "What about now that he's here? He came to see you remember? And I don't think he'll leave until he talks to you."
"And for me to say what, Jafar?" He asked me. "The timing isn't right."
"When will it be right then? I think thirty years is long enough."
"I don't want to talk about this right now," He sighed and laid back down in his bed, a hand over his face.
"Abu..."
"No, Jafar," He shook his head. "I think it's best if you just leave for now."
Against my better judgement, I stood up and made my way out of the door.
-*-
"A brother?"
"Yeah," I nodded and turned to Ayah. "He's kept our brother from us for years for no reason. Well, his reason partly had no meaning behind it."
"Oh, Jafar."
We've been sitting on the porch talking ever since I came back from the hospital, mostly about the new revaluations I've learned. Yes, I don't like his reasoning behind every decision he's made, but I'm not mad at him. I have no reason to be. This is something that happened over thirty years ago. If I'm still holding a grudge for something none of us can change, I might as well kill myself now, because that's what the anger will eventually do to me.
"So, are you going to try to find him? Maybe find out more about this guy? He is your brother after all."
"That I just met today," I pointed out, and she shrugged.
"I'm sure you both will want answers. Why not give them to each other?"
"I'm just going to need some time to let this set in," I told her, and she nodded in inderstanding.
"Ayah, Jafar?" Jamila asked, poking her head out of the door. "Dinner time."
-*-
Ayah:
October 7th
"Good morning," Dr. Green smiled as she walked in the room, her clipboard in hand. "How is mommy doing today?"
"Great," I smiled at her and waited for the ultrasound to start. Today isn't our first appointment, but I don't feel any less happier than I did the last time.
"And what about you daddy?"
"Nervous, but good," He assured her. "What about you doc?"
She pulled the gel out and began to rub the wand around my stomach before answering.
"You know, I think I have the best job. I get to witness new mothers come in everyday, not to mention watching as they experience their pregnancy. It's amazing."
A couple minutes later she paused on a certain part of my stomach and turned the volume up.
Thump...thump...thump...thump...
"You hear that?" She asked and we both nodded. "That's the sound of your baby's heart."
"Wow," Jafar breathed, the smile on his face influencing mine. It's good to see him smiling so often. Especially after all of the information he learned. Just yesterday he learned that Luca came back to the hospital looking for their father, and since it's such a small town, the nurse referred him to the high school where Jafar works. For a while they talked and answered each other's questions and even scheduled a dinner for tomorrow night.
Abu Jafar is still hesitant to see him, just like Jafar was to see him. But this isn't like seeing your father who you don't bond with. It's seeing the son you basically forgot about for thirty years. Zahrah and Tehreen already knew about Luca and promised their father that they wouldn't say anything to Jafar and would let him explain. Of course Jafar isn't upset with them, he's just trying to figure things out.
"Would you like pictures?"
"Yes, thank you."
"Here you go," Dr. Green passed me a rag to wipe the gel off and stood up. "I'll be back with your pictures."
"Tehreem is leaving on Friday so I invited Luca to spend the day with all of us today," He told me, a grin on his face. "He's a good guy. All he wants is to know who the family he was kept away from are."
"I'm happy that you stepped up," I told him and he just smiled. "I mean it. You're taking it way better than anyone else probably would've."
"We're in the same situation really. Both dealing with the ways of our father."
"What about practice? Isn't that today?"
He shook his head. "Jake cancelled the rest of this week. The next practices are going to start on Monday."
"That's good."
"Here you are," Dr. Green extended the ultrasound pictures to us and I took them happily. "All you have to do is confirm your next appointment with the receptionist."
-*-
Jafar:
"Ummi?" I called as I walked into the house. Abi is at work and Jamila, Tehreem, Zahrah and Ayah went to the mall. I figured that this is the best time to talk to her. By now she already knows about what my father kept from her, and I know she isn't doing that well. After all the hurt she had to go through all of those years, this will just hurt her even more.
"Ummi?"
"Jafar?" She asked in suprise as she came from the laundry room. "What brings you by today, son?"
"I need an invitation to visit my mother?" I joked, but she just smiled at my lightly. Her eyes aren't puffy or red from crying, and she looks fine to me. But that's only the outside. If I was messed up because of the news, I can't imagine what I would feel like in her shoes. That's like Ayah telling me that she has a child with someone else, abandoned it, and will eventually ignore our child. That type of heartache rarely goes away.
Closing the door behind me, I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her. There was nothing to be said. She wasn't crying her eyes out or holding on to me for dear life, she was just hurting.
"Thirty years," She whispered into my chest, sniffling slightly. "He kept this secret from everyone for thirty years."
"I know," I whispered, my chin on top of her head. "I'm sorry."
"Why? You didn't do it."
I chuckled and pulled back from the hug to smile lightly at my Ummi.
"I'm sorry you have to go through this. I truly am."
"Let's not talk about this right now, okay?" She asked, and I nodded. She turned me in the direction of the kitchen, and I placed an arm around her shoulder and started in that direction. "I just made some chocolate chip cookies and milk tea. You wanna sit and eat with me?"
I smiled down at her. "Always."
-*-
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