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The film ended and I glanced over to the blonde haired grinch beside me who didn't look too good right now, his eyes were as wide as a deer's in the headlights and he looked puzzled.
"It's a film, okay? You can chill out." I comforted.
"What the fuck did I just watch?" He scratched his head. "And this-" he motioned to the space between us, "-is weird. Excuse me." We weren't even sat that close, I had a double bed and we were both sat right on the edges.
He stood up and flicked on the small table lamp above my dresser before going out the door and muttering something about wanting a cookie.
I had to laugh at how easily he makes himself feel at home, if I were at his house, then I'd ask if I can even go to the toilet because I didn't know him well enough.
I was watching funny cat videos by myself for a while, mainly just to get my mind away from Texas Chainsaw, man, the film was scary. Hell, I'm scared to sleep.
Karen was calling me downstairs, disrupting my small giggles, so I shut the lid of my laptop and headed down to the kitchen, where I saw her snacking on cookies with everyone else.
Like basically every time I see him, Ben just glared at me. My best guess was that he still disliked me, but then I muddled myself up thinking about all the laughs and jokes we've had today. All the endless teasing and talking, what was that about then? It seemed like the side of Ben I had never seen but the side that Jace and Zach and basically everyone but me get to see; It's his true colours.
Maybe it was because we were in front of other people, and that usually meant he had to keep his guard up, but we were in front of other people at the park, and we were actually having a nice conversation like normal adults.
Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I grabbed a cookie and sat on the breakfast bar beside Ben. He tensed but relaxed a little while after and ate his cookie in silence.
Even with the cheesy Christmas music blasting through the speaker, Dad's loud voice talking to Karen and Casey's discussion about unicorns with Harry, all I could focus on was how silent Ben was being, as if everything in the background was just what it is.. Background noise that was drowned out.
I stuffed my cookie in my mouth and reached over to the jar to grab another, while Ben took his damn time eating just one cookie while he texted on his phone using his left hand.
I craned my neck to look over and I saw that he was texting on group chat, but I couldn't make out who was in it. My curiosity was peaking, but it wasn't my business.
"How long does it take to eat one cookie. One!" I exasperated as the half bitten cookie stayed that way for more than twenty seconds. "Let me help you." I started reaching for his cookie but he just moved his hand away.
"What is it with you stealing my food?" He grit his teeth.
"I steal everyone's food, don't take it personally, sweetheart." I chortled as he ate the rest of his cookie and glared at me the entire time.
"You'd do so bad at the chicken nugget challenge." I teased and poked his ribs subconsciously.
"Honey, I'd smash that thing and you know it." He snickered, grabbing my wrists and moving them away. For the second time, his hands scathed mine. The first time was when I jokingly intwined his fingers with mine. I didn't want to let go, not now, not ever, even if his hands felt like fire against the ice that was my skin.
"It's on."
"Bring it, bitch." He raised a brow and smirked.
"How about another movie?" Karen asked excitingly, grabbing four christmas hats and putting them over out heads. I had a feeling that she was way into this sleepover than anyone else here and she just loved being super festive too. That one was obvious.
"Karen, don't you think we're intruding?" Dad read my mind. She sighed and nodded before making her way out the kitchen and muttering about going to bed.
Dad gave me a perplexed look but I just shrugged and turned around to face Harry and Casey.
"Can we watch The Conjur-"
"No." Dad interjected. "Nobody is watching The Conjuring. It's ten thirty right now, I want everybody in their rooms by twelve."
"My room, or Flynn's room?" Casey asked with hopeful eyes.
"Casey, you sleep in your own room tonight." Dad said. Casey argued, but didn't win against Dad. What Dad says, goes. Nobody can argue with him, not even me.
Dad went upstairs, and Casey just glared at me. "This is your fault, because you always had girls over and now Dad doesn't let me have boys in my room and I only have two friends that are girls so it's not fun."
"Not my fault you don't swing both ways like me." I teased, taking off the santa hat and lightly whacking her in the face.
"Douche." She let out a breath and an eye roll before heading inside the living room and flicking through the DVDs we kept neatly in a drawer by the television. "How about Elf?"
I shrugged and we all took out places on the sofa. Casey and Harry were on the beanbags while Ben and I were at the opposite ends of the sofa, practically hugging the arm rests. I sprawled my legs across the middle seat and played a couple games on my phone until I got bored and realised we were already half way through the film.
He was super enthused into the film, and I had seen it a billion times already so instead, I glanced over to him and smiled at how stunning he looked with the dim glow coming from the Christmas tree lights behind him.
There was some light stubble around his chiselled jaw, his hair was a hot mess and those plump, red lips... fuck, those lips. I just wanted them to be on mine. Right now. He seemed relaxed, something i'm not yet all that accustomed to; I was still trying to get past how overwhelming it was for him to be here right now, sharing the same sofa with me.
A small inkling of curiosity irked me; was he only here for his brother? was he here because he likes spending time with me? perhaps it was because Karen basically forced him into coming. Then again, she can't force him to do anything. What if he really did want to come because maybe there's some hope of a friendship building? Ha, If only.
I let out the tiniest snicker, but it didn't go unnoticed by Ben, who just gave me a weird look and mimicked me by sprawling his feet out on the middle seats, one of them on top of mine. Obviously, he didn't notice, or care, so his mind wasn't buzzing like mine about the sock-to-sock contact and about how much I wanted to reach over and tickle his feet for the shits and giggles.
Throughout the rest of the movie - in a completely non creepy way - I was smiling to myself when he laughed at the funny parts of the film, and tensed whenever he did. So maybe, I was checking him out. Who wouldn't? The guy is an absolute God. I'm allowed to check people out.
I quickly fell asleep just before the ending, and ended up waking up again with pain shooting from my shoulder and lower back. Damn, I was hoping Ben would just sweep me off my feet like a prince and lay me down in my bed. Wouldn't anyone want that?
The clock on the television read 04:12 and I groaned as I tried to make myself comfortable on the sofa again, but it was no use because my shoulder was starting to hurt more, so I kicked off the blanket that was placed on me and tip toed up the staircase.
Tiredly, I pushed my door open, only to see Ben's bed empty. It was pretty much completely deflated, and I was trying to not chuckle to myself. Instead, I found him occupying my bed, hugging the pillow like a lifeline. He was on his stomach, and his head was facing towards me. His blonde hair was all over his face, and his legs were just... everywhere, leaving no room for me. I wouldn't have slept in the same bed as him anyway, it would be a little creepy if you ask me and believe it or not, I wasn't completely against having Ben around for sleepovers but he'd never come again if all he sees me as is a creep who can't keep his hands to himself.
I closed to door behind me and walked into Casey's room. I lay on the edge of it and her eyes opened, confused at first, she just shuffled over to make room for me. Her bed was tiny, it was only a single, but we were both pretty small people, minus the fact I was lanky so my feet were dangling off the edge. She cozied up to me, mainly because if she didn't, she'd be face planting the floor.
Content, I fell back asleep, and didn't wake up until the sun rays were streaming through the small gap of the curtains. I rubbed at my eyes and checked my phone before getting out of bed and walking across the hall to my room, only to find that nobody was in there and my bed was neatly made. The two air beds, one of them being completely deflated, were stripped from their bedding.
I went down the creaky staircase and noticed everyone was downstairs already and they were eating eggs on toast. Dad was in his work clothes and looked to be in a conversation with Ben, who was smiling. Their conversation was cut short however when I stepped into the kitchen. Karen was in her dressing gown, sipping her tea and reading the newest issue of Vogue magazine.
"Good morning!" She chirped. I replied back, just nowhere near as happy as she did. I went over to the stove and drizzled some oil on the pan before cracking an egg and putting some toast in the toaster.
I could feel Ben's eyes on me as I seasoned my food, he was opposite me and I didn't feel like looking up to meet his eyes because it would be awkward and I wasn't in the mood for awkward right now, nor will I ever be. In the end, the room was filled with silence, the only sound was the sizzling of my eggs and everyone's chewing and sipping.
Scooping my egg off the pan, I placed it on top of my toast and took a seat across from Karen at the dining table. She smiled at me with her warm brown eyes, and I smiled back at her.
Casey started chatting to Harry about some girl in their dance class while Ben completely devoured his plate of eggs on toast; just in two days, I've come to the conclusion that he loves his food, and most of the time, he takes ages eating it too.
Once we all finished breakfast, I clambered upstairs with Ben, Harry and Casey hot on my tail. I headed towards the airing cupboard and Ben and Harry towels so they can shower.
I went into my room and sat on my neatly made bed, reaching over to the bedside table and grabbing my book of Sudoku puzzles, but something in the corner of my eye was grabbing my attention, and it was almost unbearable to resist.
So I reached my hand over lazily and scooped my phone up in my hands. Fumbling with it, I went over to my messages. Most of my messages six months old. I haven't really been texting as many people as I used to; back in school, I would constantly be on my phone; I was a social butterfly, and I loved it too.
I scrolled down to the very bottom until I saw a certain chat, and wearily pressed on it.
The last message between us was from prom night, almost two years ago. It wasn't a very nice conversation either, in fact, it was all emotional and shit.
I typed on the keypad that popped up:
To, Marcia:
Hello :)
I pressed the send button, but seemed to feel something like guilt and shame crawling up my spine. Guilt because she wouldn't want me texting her, not after that last conversation. She could be having the time of her life right now, but no, I might've just ruined that.
Shame, because, who wouldn't after not texting after so long? Shame, because I let go of the most important person whose ever been in my life, and for what? Because I couldn't be committed? What a stupid decision of me to make. I'd take it back in a heartbeat, but life didn't work out that way. Opportunities should be grabbed straight away, not a two years later.
I stared at the text message I had just sent for the longest time, in fact, it was so long, that I heard the door creak open and saw that Ben had walked in, dripping wet.
My eyes widened on their own accord. His towel was hung dangerously low, revealing an incredibly defined V-line that led straight to his dick.
His blonde hair was more of a dirty blonde now, it was dripping wet and slicked back. This view was so much better than yesterday, when he changed into his pyjamas. This time, drips of water were travelling from his messy hair to his neck, and then down his torso, passing each ripple of his abs.
"Stop drooling." He chortled, "I'm flattered, but really, you creep me out sometimes."
I didn't answer, I just looked up at his looming form in awe and wonder. He just held a blank stare down at me.
My god, how I'd just love to touch those abs. I wondered how many hours of intense work out would get you to his level, must be a hell of a lot. I could never be so fit and committed like him.
I leaned over on my side and stretched my hand out, "may I?"
He, clearly not amused, just stood in his place and made a small puddle on the floor. I wiggled my fingers and gleamed up at him in hope, and knowing I wouldn't quit, he sighed in defeat and grabbed my hand put it flat against his abdomen.
Man, he was solid.
As soon as I regained some kind of consciousness, I no longer focused my attention on his abs. I couldn't, not when my attention was forced to be elsewhere, like the fact his hand was still on top of mine.
His fingers were barely touching mine and he probably didn't even notice this, but to me, I felt his fingers burning mine and I couldn't believe that such a simple thing made my heart race so quickly.
Wow, I was a thirsty slut.
"Done?" He cocked a brow.
"Done." I said, fighting back my smile. Obviously, it didn't work and I ended up breaking out the biggest, fattest, most disturbing grin ever.
I dropped my hand and grabbed my phone again. My grin dropped quickly seeing that I didn't have a reply from Marcia; she was usually fast at replying.
Fuck, what did I do? Why would she want to speak to someone like me? I'm such an idiot. She's probably super happy with her new boyfriend, or rumoured boyfriend, at least. I didn't know, I no longer kept up with that sort of news. Especially when we've gone our separate ways now.
I sighed and threw my phone across the bed. I watched Ben's slow movements as he grabbed his clothes from his rucksack. It was almost as if he was teasing me and I guess it's my fault because I've made it blatantly obvious I think he's hot, and he knows he's hot too. He's probably the most egotistical person I know. With a body and brain as great as his, I wouldn't see why he wouldn't.
However, theres a chance that it's just my overthinking. Why would he tease me? As far as I know, he probably thinks I'm like the scum of the earth, or something like that. I have a feeling everyone thinks like that about me.
"Hey, what do you think of me?" I blurted out and slapped my hand over my mouth soon after.
He turned around and held his towel tight around his waist with one hand and his folded clothes in the other.
"That you're a weird creep whose obsessed with sexual fantasies and your even more forthright that I am and I didn't think that was possible." He snorted.
"I'm serious." I raised my brows.
He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Usually I'm good at figuring people out, but you, you're like an open book but the words are all smudged." He saved and walked out the room soon after.
I pondered on what Ben was on about. An open book with smudged words? Doesn't that contradict the 'open book' metaphor? What the hell does he mean?
And what was he smiling about with Dad? I bet it was cars. Dad loves his cars, especially the old classic ones and I'm sure Ben did too, after all, his own car is a '69 Charger. Me? I hated old cars, but with Dad talking about then 24/7, it was difficult to not learn from him.
There was no use wondering, anyway. I've come to the conclusion it was pointless and it was just something that kept you up at night. Wondering was just for dreamers, and I was not a dreamer. I liked to live in the present. I don't tend to think about what I'll be doing later on today or tomorrow or next week.
The future scares me, maybe that's why I like to avoid it. The only thing that comes to mind when I think of the future now, is how I could potentially get Bipolar 2 or how I might live forever alone.
I sure hope not.
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a/n:
:D :D random chapter yay! There will be more interesting updates soon... early days still, y'know?
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