Chapter 11
The snow was finally melting on the ground. What was beautiful just a few days ago when it was falling, looked like a sludgy mess today. Tinted black from the road debris and salt sand mixture, it looked more like a black licorice slushy than fallen snow.
Sitting in his office looking out the window, Austin’s mind raced back to two days ago and his conversation with Sydney. It hurt to hear her talk about Sonya like that, but she was right, he was carrying her around. He needed to release her and move on with his life.
Sydney wouldn’t pick up her phone or answer email the other day, he needed to see her, touch her, kiss her and let her know that she meant the world do him.
He wanted to do that the day of the phone conversation, but snow had closed many of the roads between them and he would have just been stranded on the side of the road.
There was a knock on the door that snapped Austin back into the present. Looking up, Austin thought he was dreaming.
“Sydney? What are you doing here?” Austin said as he jumped to his feet to go and great her, touch her, hold her like he wanted
“I couldn’t do this over the phone. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things about Sonya. I know you love her, it was hard for me to hear those things and hard to watch you walk away. I was angry and upset and I’m just sorry.”
Austin was now standing in front of Sydney, looked at her, he slowly trailed his hands down her arms to hold her hands and said, “I’m sorry too! I should have never walked away from you. It shouldn’t have taken me two weeks to realize I have feelings for you.”
Sydney looked down at her hands entwined with his, “Austin, I can’t do this again. I can’t fall in love with someone and they tell me they only want to be friends. If that is the case, I will turn around and head home right now and never see you again.”
Moving his hand to Sydney’s shoulders and Austin said, “I don’t want you to leave.”
Austin pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her. Lowered his face into her neck as he hugged her, inhaling the smell he knew as Sydney’s, a little vanilla and roses. He had missed this smell so much over the past two weeks. He pulled away, only enough to lower his lips onto hers.
The kiss began slow and sweet, tender and loving, then grew into a kiss that showed each other how they felt, the words they had failed to say: devotion, worship, respect, longing, lust, passion and love. Yes, they loved each other and there was no turning back.
Separating and breathing in short irregular spurts, Austin lowered his forehead to Sydney’s and said, “I love you and I am so sorry.”
“I am sorry too. And I do love you.”
“I was about to leave to go and pick up Lacey.” Austin said as he pulled away. “Um. She stays with my mother-in-law Emma Sue. Would you come with me? It just means you will need to meet them. Tucker’s already left for the day, so he is there too.”
“How will that go over?” Sydney looked up at him wondering how his in-laws would feel about them dating. Would they resent her because she was replacing Sonya in their eyes?
“Since it was Tucker who told me I was foolish to let anyone who could fall in love with me get away, I think they will love you.” With the smile Austin was giving her, how could she doubt him.
******
Tucker and Emma Sue lived only a couple miles away and it took only a few minutes to get to their home. Austin suggested leaving Sydney’s car at the office and picking it up later. As they were heading out Austin dialed Tucker on his cell phone to let him know he was bringing a guest.
The house was a nice farmhouse with a wrap around porch, white siding with black shutters. On the porch was a swing hanging from the rafters, and several rocking chairs. To Sydney it looked very homey.
As Austin and Sydney exited the car, the front screen door slapped open and closed and Sydney was almost tackled at her knees, “Miz Sisnee! Miz Sisnee! You’re here! I pawaed you’d come.”
“You did!” Sydney said dropping to her knees to hug Lacey.
Lacey pulled back, but would not leave Sydney’s arms, “Yes, I tole God I miz you. And you’re ere.” Lacey threw her arms around Sydney, “I wuv you Miz Sisnee!”
Sydney smiled as she hugged the little girl, “I love you too Lacey.”
“And Daddy too? You love Daddy too?” Lacey pulled out of Sydney’s arms and reached up to take her father’s and Sydney’s hands.
Looking over at Austin, Sydney said, “Yes Lacey, I love your daddy too.”
Before this conversation could go any farther, Austin picked up his daughter and said, “Why don’t we go in so MawMaw and Poppie can meet Miss Sydney.” He reached over and took Sydney’s hand and led her up the porch steps.
Walking into the house, Sydney thought that it did not reflect that a multi-million dollar trucking company owner lived inside. Instead, it looked like a normal grandparents house with lots of pictures of Lacey, crochet blankets and toys. The house was decorated nice and nothing too far out of date, and it was very welcoming.
Austin lead Sydney into the kitchen where Tucker and Emma Sue were waiting. Knowing that someone was coming and then watching Lacey explode with excitement over seeing Sydney, they were trying to prepare themselves for this meeting. They wanted to be supportive and loving and help Austin move on, but a part of them missed Sonya and didn’t want her replaced.
Walking through the swinging door, Sydney saw Lacey’s grandma cooking, she knew where the blonde hair and blue eyes came from, Emma Sue was the epitome of a southern granny. Platinum blonde hair cut in a teased out bob hair style just barely touching her shoulders, who was at the stove cooking, baking or spoiling her grandchild.
Tucker, was a tall lean man with broad shoulders and a thin moustache with darker salt and pepper hair, that was becoming mostly salt. As they walked in, he was reaching to grab something off a plate as his wife slapped his hand away. ‘Yep, typical southern couple,’ thought Sydney with a smile on her face.
“MawMaw! Poppie! Miz Sisnee’s here! Miz Sisnee here!” Lacey said as they walked through the door to the kitchen.
Tucker and Emma Sue turned and smiled at their guest. “Sydney, we have heard so much about you, it is nice to finally put a face with the adoration of our granddaughter.” Tucker said as he walked over to shake her hand.
“Thank you Mr. Granger, I adore Lacey as well.” Sydney said with a smile.
“Call me Tucker, everyone does... well, everyone who isn’t calling me some sort of words I would not dare say in front of a pretty lady.” Tucker smiled down at her.
“Tuck, quit your flirtin’ and let the girl breathe. What would she want a crusty old man like you for anyway when she has Austin here.” Emma Sue said with a smile towards Sydney and Austin.
“Woman, I may be old, and I may be crusty. But, I am YOUR crusty old man, so watch it!” Tucker said without looking over his shoulder at his wife who was smiling at him.
Emma Sue smiled as she walked up and put her arm around her husbands waist and squeezed, “Just as long as you remember that darlin’!”
Looking over at Sydney, Emma Sue smiled, “Don’t let Tuck bother you, he is an eternal flirt, or as I like to say, his flirt is worse than his bite.”
“Easy now woman! I got you didn’t I?” Tuck said with a smile putting his arm around his wife.
Sydney was enjoying their banter and wanted to know these people more. She loved the fact that they were so loving, but had a sharp whit about them. In her mind, she wondered if she and Austin would be like that one day, if things worked out between them.
“Yes you did. And I am still more woman than you can handle.” Emma Sue said with a smile.
Tucker smiled and pulled his wife close, “That you are dear, that you are,” he gave her a little peck on the cheek and a slap on her bottom with his hand. Emma Sue playfully giggled and went back to the stove to cook dinner.
“Is there anything I can do to help you Mrs. Granger?” Sydney offered.
“Call me Emma Sue and get these men out of here, dinner’s almost done and I won’t have them ruining it.” She said with a smile as she stirred something on the stove.
“Lacey bean, show Miss Sydney where the dining room is, while I help MawMaw bring the food to the table.” Austin said.
Emma Sue almost stopped him and told him to take Sydney into the dining room, but the look on his face, she had seen before. It told her to get Lacey out of the room so she would not hear what was about to be said. So, instead she just nodded and allowed her son-in-law to do what he needed to do.
Austin walked over to the stove and put his hand on Emma Sue’s shoulder, “Are you okay with this?” he whispered, “I mean having someone in my life, in Lacey’s life?” There was more he wanted to ask, he had always loved Emma Sue like a mother and he did not want to hurt her, Lord knows she has hurt enough over Sonya’s death.
Emma Sue looked up at him with tear rimmed eyes. “Do I wish my daughter was here? YES! But, can I stop you from loving again? No.” The last word was said so softly that the only reason Austin heard it was because they were standing so close. “More than anything Austin, I want to see you and Lacey happy. YOU need to let Sonya go.” She fought back the tears and looked at him square in the eyes, “Just know this! You will ALWAYS be our son and Lacey will ALWAYS be our granddaughter! We don’t want you to leave, although we will understand if you must. We will welcome Sydney into our home and into our lives and love her like a daughter-in-law because son, you are no longer our son-in-law, you are our boy.”
“I love you too.” Austin said as he hugged her so she would not see the tears pooling in his eyes.
******
Dinner was a southerners delight: roast beef, carrots, potatoes, gravy, biscuits, fried cabbage, fried okra and banana pudding for dessert. Sydney feasted and probably ate more than she should, but she had been so nervous to see Austin and find out if he would forgive her, worried about where their relationship might be heading, that she had forgotten to eat all day and was starving by the time the prayer was said over the food.
“So Sydney, how long will you be staying?” Tucker asked, knowing that Austin would be asking for time off and he would gladly give it to him.
“Just a few days, I have to be back at church on Sunday,” Sydney said with a smile. She took another bite of food and missed the look exchanged between Emma Sue and Tucker, but Austin caught it. It was a look of hope.
“So, you go to church regularly?” Emma Sue asked with a smile on her face.
“I guess you could say that, I practically live there.” Sydney smiled and then explained, “I am the Minister of Music and my Daddy, well he is the pastor.”
“Really? We had no idea.” Emma Sue said looking at Austin for explanation. She knew her son-in-law blamed God for Sonya’s death. He would allow them to take Lacey to church every Sunday, but he would refuse to go. She wondered how this would play out if he loved someone who was so dedicated to God and church. Would she even consider moving up to the mountains away from everything and everyone that she loved?
“I’m staying with some friends from college while I am here. They have a church about fifteen miles away in Knoxville and they have offered me their guest bedroom.” Sydney said with a smile.
“Nonsense. You can stay with us.” Tucker said.
“Thank you,” Sydney said, but she needed a way to keep some distance, she knew how she felt about Austin, but was unsure how he truly felt for her and she wanted to be able to leave if she needed to. “But, I already dropped my stuff off at their house and told them I would be back later.”
Austin looked over at her crushed, “You can stay at my house, I have a guest room and you would not put your friends out.”
Sydney smiled, “Do you want me to list all the reasons that is not appropriate?” Sydney asked looking up through her eyelashes at him, “No, Heather was a sorority sister in college and Blake was one of our big brothers. I know them both well and I have missed them. We normally only see each other once a year or so. This will be a good chance for me to catch up with them.”
“I just thought you were here to see Lacey and I?” Austin said sounding rejected.
Sydney reached over patted his arm and said with a smile, “I am and we will spend so much time together that at the end of the day you will want to be rid of me.”
Austin could never imagine sending Sydney away, but he understood her concern. If it was just him, he might insist that she stay with him, proper or not, but it wasn’t just him. He had Lacey to think about and she was right, it wasn’t appropriate for his daughter, no matter if she slept in a guest room or not.
“Well, you are more than welcome to use our guest room anytime you like.” Emma Sue said. “We would love to get to know you better.”
“Thank you,” Sydney said, and she was grateful, but knew this trip she would be staying with her friends.
******
Around ten o’clock, as the stars in the clear mountain sky were twinkling, Sydney drove to Heather and Blake’s home. She thought about her day, first starting out with the uncertainty of her relationship with Austin, then their reconciliation, dinner with his in-laws and finally their goodbye.
Sydney knew he did not want her to leave, but understood why she must. After driving her to get her car and her following him to his house, she promised she would see him first thing in the morning.
Before leaving the Granger’s he had arranged to have the next few days off so he could spend time with Sydney and Lacey. The only promise he had to make was that they would see each other again for dinner one night before Sydney returned to Atlanta.
More than anything, Sydney wanted this to work-out with Austin. She did love him, but she also knew that there were a lot of things to overcome in this relationship. ‘Lord, you said you would give me the desires of my heart. I want to know what it is like to be adored, to be cherished, to be loved. Heavenly Father, if it is your will for that person to be Austin, please make a way for us to be together. If it is not, Lord God, protect my heart.’
Pulling into Heather and Blake’s driveway, Sydney saw her friends were still up, probably waiting for her to see how things went. Heather had been a friend and sorority sister in college. She had witnessed Sydney’s crush with Paul and was one of the people who thought that the couple would be perfect together.
The couple had given Sydney the keyless entry code for their front door, entering someone else’s house, even a friends in the dark always unnerved Sydney. She was happy to see Heather sitting in the living room waiting for her with a cup of tea.
Kicking off her shoes and pulling her feet under her on the sofa, Sydney settled down for a girl to girl talk she so desperately needed. She could tell Heather was waiting, she had always been a good listener and Sydney always found her advice solid and well thought through before it was offered.
“Well?” Heather finally prompted not willing to wait her friend out tonight. She had been praying for her ever since Sydney dropped off her things.
“It went well. We worked things out as best we could. He doesn’t want to dishonor Sonya, which I get, but he is willing now to move forward.”
Heather thought on that for a moment taking a sip of her tea. She bunched her eyebrows together and asked, “Do you know what made him change his mind?”
“I think it was his in-laws, believe it or not.” Sydney remembered the evening and smiled, “I really was nervous about meeting them. I thought maybe they would think I was trying to replace their daughter. But, they were wonderful! They welcomed me in and made me feel at home.”
“I’m happy for you.” Heather said reaching over the back of the sofa to where Sydney’s arm rested and squeezed her friends hand. “You deserve to be happy.”
“Thanks,” Sydney said with a smile, but Heather, knowing her so well and could tell her smile did not go all the way to her eyes.
“Syd, what is it?”
“What do you mean?” Sydney said trying to hide her concerns.
Heather raised an eyebrow and looked at her sister, her friend. They may not be bound by blood, but they had gone through a lot together. They met as they were pledging their sorority in college, their friendship grew going through induction together, and they bonded living together their last year in college.
Sydney watched Heather fall in love with Blake and Heather watched Sydney fall in what she thought was love with Paul. Heather tried to support her friend in her unrequited love for their friend. She encouraged her to take a leap of faith and tell Paul, but Sydney could not do that, she waited him out. When all else failed, Heather was the one who held her hand and wiped her tears when Paul would go out on a date with someone else.
So when Heather raised her eyebrow to give her friend the look that something was not being said, Sydney knew Heather was right.
Taking a deep breath, Sydney confided in her friend, “He blames God for Sonya’s death and will have nothing to do with God or church.”
Heather said, “Syd!” in more of a gasp than an admonishment. They both knew how important God was to both of them. They had stayed up many nights talking about God, praying for each other and even doing devotions together. Paul and Blake had often joined them. Heather could not imagine her friend with someone who was a non-believer.
“I love him, but I can not give up God for him. If I have to choose, God would win. I just don’t want to be put in that position.”
Heather didn’t know what to say to her friend. Sydney had been waiting for the right man to come along for years. She wanted and deserved to be loved. Could she turn down a love of a lifetime for her relationship with God? Heather knew this was hard for her friend, she knew she would never stray from God’s will in her life, but to turn down what she has always wanted, always desired? Heather said the only thing she could, “Syd, I will be praying for you. You never know, maybe this... maybe you are what it will take for Austin to see God in his life.”
“I don’t know? Whenever I have talked about God, I can see the hurt in his eyes and he changes the topic. Pray that God opens Austin’s heart and mind to His love.”
Heather reached over again and squeezed her friends hand, “I will, don’t give up hope!”
Sydney smiled and said, “Hope is all I have.”