Treat your love with care or it just might shatter into glass.
February 26, 2012
The Pond
He's been touching me more. Not like, sexually. But the arm touches have been gentle and affectionate, and I'll catch him sometimes putting his hand on the small of my back.
They've been intoxicating, and his smiles seem more sincere and more real. But I think it's only because we opened up to each other; because he told me more about himself.
"Okay," He took his hands off of my eyes and I smiled.
"Open your eyes." I shot them open and put my hand over my heart.
"I've seen this pond before, Mr. Styles." I laughed and he shook his head.
"I know you've seen the pond," He stood in front of me, his back facing mine. He used his hand to roll his sleeves up his forearms, his biceps flexing as he moved.
"But you haven't seen this." He pulled a canoe out from behind a tree and I jumped up.
"Oh my gosh!" I jumped again and he slapped his hands together to sling the water off.
"I've never been on a canoe..." I bit my lip and he laughed.
"You seemed so excited." He shook his head and I tucked my hands into my shorts' pockets.
"But now, we're going canoeing."
I took a step back and shook my head.
"Oh no. I'm not doing that."
He scoffed, "Ah come on. It'll be fun. I promise." He nodded his head and grabbed my hand in his, automatically making me surrender.
He helped me step onto the wobbly canoe and stepped into the water as I tried to find my way and sit down. I almost fell, making me grab onto his forearm.
"Just be steady. Don't think about it, and you won't fall." His eyes locked with mine and my lips parted.
"I will catch you if you fall."
I took a deep breath and straightened back up again, walking down the canoe and finding my seat at the back. He then hopped into the canoe without a problem, and began to paddle.
"It's so beautiful out here." I closed my eyes and let the wind blow my hair back, the afternoon rays of the warm February sun were tinting my arms with heat.
I opened my eyes when I heard quacking and I looked to see white swans everywhere, automatically thinking of The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks.
"They're everywhere." I said, pulling my hair from my shoulder so it was laying on my back. I put my hands on the side of the canoe and reached over to stroke one.
"I feel like we're in a movie." I smiled and looked at Harry.
"You could say that we were." He chuckled.
"What kind of movie would we be in?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Definitely a drama. One filled with drama every other minute." He laughed at himself and I scoffed, throwing drops of water at him.
"Not to just bring up a random conversation or anything but," he stopped paddling and just let the boat drift as he propped his feet up on the side of the boat, "Why do you always pick a fight with me?" I asked, looking at him.
"I... I can't answer that question. You brought it up on me too fast and I don't know how to answer it." He shook his head and I looked back out to the water.
"I have some bread, if you want to help me feed them." He sat up and pulled out a cloth.
"Is it your job to feed them?" I asked and he handed me a few slices of bread.
"Nah. I just come out here every once in a while and feed them. I love to sit out here and relax. It's all quiet and the breeze is nice out here." He sighed and picked up the paddle.
I looked out to the trees, wondering what was past them.
"Why do we always fight?" I jerked my head towards Harry to see him looking down and squinting.
"We don't have to, yet we insist on always making it happen," He looked up to me, "Why?"
"Um.. Maybe it's in our nature. It's a job for a man and woman to fight constantly." I stated and he shook his head.
"No. I think it's just you." He began to paddle again and my jaw dropped.
Me?! Out of all things, it's my fault?!
"I beg your pardon-"
"No. You don't have to beg. Maybe it is your fault. I'm not saying that it is your fault because I don't like to blame directly." I stood up and he laughed.
"Where do you think you're going, Miss Greene?"
"I don't know," I sighed and crossed my arms, making him stand up as well, "But it pisses me off majorly that you think it's my fault that we're constantly fighting."
"It is." What happened to maybe?
"No it's not!" I squeezed the part of my nose in between my eyes and sighed, "It's no more of my fault than it is yours."
"I've done nothing." That blew me to my limit.
I put my arms forward, gained all of my strength, and pushed him off of the canoe.
"You bitch!" He yelled, flipping his wet hair out of his face.
"Oh what? I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you over the gigantic splash you just made." I growled and he immediately grabbed my arm and pulled me in with him.
"You know, everything was going just fine until you asked that damn question." He snapped and I shook my head.
"Well I'm sorry that I'm a bit curious of why you're such an ass to me." He laughed as if he wasn't the only one.
He grabbed my arm and our chests made contact.
"The virgin doll likes to make up a lot of lies. I wonder if that's why she's still a virgin."
"You disgust me endlessly." I sneered and he laughed.
"Is that why you wanted me to kiss you the other day?" He laughed again.
"No. I wanted you to kiss me because you had me up against the wall and very vulnerable. It wasn't my fault." I shook my head and he sighed.
"The beautiful, breakable virgin doll..." He muttered and I scoffed.
"Why do you always call me that? I am not a doll. I am a human being." I went to pull away from him but he tightened his grip on my arm.
"Because for one, you're easily breakable. For two, you're a virgin. Three, you're so delicate like a doll. Four, I wasn't wrong when I called you beautiful." Did he just say that?
"You think I'm beautiful? Out of all people, you think I'm beautiful?" I smiled and bit my lip, looking down.
"Yeah. I think you're beautiful. But it's slim pickings around here..." He trailed off and put his finger under my chin, locking his grip around my waist.
"What do you mean slim pickings? And what are you doing?" I asked and he smiled.
"I'm getting ready to kiss you, doll." Oh dear Lord, help me.
"Wait. I want to know what you meant by slim pickings." I put my hands on his chest.
"Isn't it obvious. Now hush up and let me kiss you." He drew his brows together and I sighed, "You sound like kissing me is such a damn problem."
"It is when I'm confused and can't enjoy the kiss." I frowned and he rolled his eyes.
"It's slim pickings out here, Anastasia. I can't just get a woman who will treat me the way you do. You're sweet on me half of the time. Other women would be hell to me." He furrowed his brows and I parted my lips.
"You wouldn't be treating me like this if you lived around a lot of people?"
"No. I mean, I don't know." Unbelievable.
"And you wouldn't think I'm beautiful if it wasn't slim pickings?" I raised my eyebrows and he threw his head back and groaned.
"Now you see what I mean by you being breakable." He said and I scowled, pulling away from him and getting back on the canoe.
"Take me back." I said, sitting down.
He got on the canoe and sighed.
"Fine."
Once we reached the bank, I sat there for a moment.
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you-" I began to get off of the boat and walk towards the house, "I'm going back."
"You're not even going to listen to what I have to say?" He appeared behind me.
"I don't have to. You've already said enough." I said and he growled.
"No," he yanked me in front of him, "I haven't said enough. Anastasia, even if it wasn't slim pickings out here, I would probably still be looking at you. I would still want to kiss you like hell. But if it wasn't slim pickings out here, you'd be all over the fucking neighbor."
"Do you honestly think I'm that desperate?" I threw my arms up.
"You seem pretty desperate enough to be hanging around me. And if it wasn't slim pickings, you'd probably be living with the neighbor. You wouldn't give a shit about me because the neighbor would be younger than me, smarter than me, hell, maybe even richer than me. But let's just say that if a guy was next door, you'd be hauling ass over there to twirl your pretty blonde hair. You wouldn't be anywhere near me." Then he walked into the house, slamming the door shut.
I beg to differ, Mr. Styles.
"So that's it? You're just going to walk away?" I asked, walking up behind him.
He slowed his walk and I heard him sigh.
"The only reason why I wouldn't be walking away from you is if I was holding you against the wall, listening to you beg for mercy as I kissed you until you couldn't breathe. But since that isn't going to happen, I am going to my office."
"Harry, I-" He turned towards me when I said his name, and I swallowed hard.
"You what? Please tell me because I am so fucking vulnerable that I would love to hear you say my name one more time. Say my name, one more time, and I will kiss you whether you like it or not." Yes, please.
Yet, I couldn't find myself saying his name. I couldn't even say one word.
He let out a ragged breath and balled his fists, "The virgin doll needs to make up her mind at least one damn time in her life." Then he walked away and up to his office.
No! Come back! I wanna know what it feels like to finally kiss you! Dammit.