Karen had booked me appointment to see my doctor but I was completely dreading it. Leaving the house was difficult and resulted in a lot of shouting, mainly from dad, but that's only because it doesn't take long for him to flare up.
Casey was at school, thankfully, and my appointment was in ten minutes, but it takes fifteen minutes to get there with Dad's slow driving so maybe if I just hold off for a little longer...
"Flynn! Come on! We agreed yesterday!" Karen pleaded as she tugged on my sweatshirt. "And put a jacket on! It's raining cats and dogs!"
"But I've changed my mind now!" I whined childishly.
"It won't be bad, come on, Flynn. We have to go at some point." She said.
I stayed mute for a couple moments, before huffing and grabbing my jacket that I had laid out in the sofa earlier. I usually keep that organised, but getting my jacket ready was probably due to the anticipation. I barely slept last night, it was difficult when I had a million thoughts buzzing in my head, so I decided to unpack all my university shit all night. Now that was a nightmare. But hey, now I have a mini fridge in my room and a bunch of new bedding as well as a coffee machine and an entire new set of candles.
"Why do I have to go, again? I mean, I have my pills for when I feel like shit already." I muttered.
"Flynn, you know why you need to go, alright? You're not always feeling like crap, sometimes it's quite the opposite and you know that."
"That was only once. I was just excited about coming home!" I explained. It was a lie, and I knew it. It's not that I wasn't excited, I was in fact a little overexcited.
I shoved my arms through my navy raincoat and zipped it up all the way and did every button and checked every pocket-
"Stop stalling," Dad said, "come on, we have to be there on time."
"Like that's ever going to happen." Karen chortled as spun keys around her finger. "I'll drive. You, Pete, drive like an absolute granddad."
"I do not!" He argued, crossing his arms together. Karen and I just laughed and stood idly by the car while Dad locked the front door with his house keys.
"You actually kind of do." I agreed, "and you can't even do drifts, like, come on! Karen can!"
"I can indeed, because I took racing lessons." She smiled cockily and unlocked the car. We all slid in and clicked in our seat belts. Unfortunately, I was in the back.
"You what?" I gasped and leaned forward in my seat, sticking my head In between the two front seats.
"I had racing lessons when I turned twenty-seven. I stopped because I nearly killed a pigeon and felt super bad afterwards."
"I thought you were broke." I muttered to her.
"My dad. He bought the lessons because he regrets not doing jackshit when I was younger and he knew I was into that stuff." She snorted. "He's an ass."
"Yes, he is." Dad agreed.
"So, after nearly killing a pigeon, I didn't have the motivation to take a test to become a legit car racer. You get a cool license and everything and get invites to go to meet ups and stuff but now, it wouldn't be much use, it's fun and all, but hella dangerous. I'm too old for that."
"Can we go to a track day sometime? Please? I've always wanted to sit passenger with a race driver." I pleaded.
"I don't know, I've forgotten everything. Flynn, this was over ten years ago."
"Fine," I muttered, leaning back in my seat. We were soon parked outside the surgery and I gulped before slowly unclicking my belt and getting out the car.
"Come on." Dad patted my back and kept his hand over my shoulder as we walked to the front steps of the surgery.
Karen checked us in with the receptionist, who gave us a nasty glare, probably from being late. My name was called on the speaker just as I was about to sit down.
So as we made our way to the specific room they told us to be at, I glanced at all the stupefying art on the walls and all the old photographs about things they've done at this place. Apparently, Barney had visited the children here in 2002.
"Hello, Flynn." Dr Harrison greeted with a smile. I forced a smile back and took a seat. "how are you today?"
"Good. Neutral, I guess." I shrugged.
"So, what are we here to discuss about? You didn't specify on the phone, Mrs Hopper."
"Flynn's just come back from university, and he's had episodes. The first day he came back, he was a little down, but not a lot. However, the next morning, he was all over the place-"
Oh what was that? It was just me rolling my eyes.
"He was bouncy, hyperactive, over enthusiastic and very very energetic." Dad summed up. "Later that day, he was angry and spiteful and he spoke... Extremely fast."
"Right..." Dr Harrison said, "and you said your ex-wife's grandmother had Bipolar 2?"
"Indeed. However, Flynn doesn't seem to have all the same symptoms. He's much calmer." Dad informed.
"Last time you came here, I put Flynn down as Bipolar-Not-Otherwise-Specified because we saw symptoms and prescribed Fluouextine Olanzapine for the depression because I hadn't witnessed a full blown manic episode."
"Yes." Karen answered.
"How long were you in university, Flynn? And how long ago did you drop out?" The doctor asked.
"I was in university for two months, I came home last week on Friday." I told him and fiddled with my fingers.
He put his own down, "Flynn, you have Cyclothymia. It's not as severe as Bipolar 1 and 2, in fact, it's pretty mild. It includes being episode free for two months at maximum. Sometime around the time you started university, you had episodes, am I right?"
"I was depressed at first, but I thought it was just from being in university. I went clubbing a couple times, but I didn't have much fun."
"Right, so, this is good, Flynn." He smiled and wrote some notes down, "Mr and Mrs Hopper, please do keep my informed about his behaviour for the next week or so."
"How comes he didn't have any signs in the last two years? We all thought he just had depression." Dad asked.
"Sometimes the symptoms just become visible when they're older. It's pretty normal that he's being diagnosed at his age." He told us.
"I don't- I can't. I can't have it. Fucks sake." I growled. Suddenly everyone's attention was on me, and they were all looking a little taken aback.
"I'm sorry Flynn." Dr Harrison said, "but I'm pretty sure you do-"
"No, that's fucking messed up. Why is it me? Why didn't mum have it? Why did I have to get it?"
"It skips generations, and environmental factors, like your growing up, can affect it too." Dr Harrison explained and started writing me a prescription.
"It's extremely important to take your lithium pills, otherwise you could develop Bipolar Disorder. Approximately one third of the people with Cyclothymia develop it. I'll also prescribe anti-anxiety pills if you feel you need them ever."
I cursed under my breath and rested my elbows on my knees. I wanted to punch this guy so much right now.
"Flynn, you need to take this seriously." Dr Harrison said. I sighed, and sat up and looked him dead in the eye. "Usually, people with this disease are usually stroppy, moody and impulsive a lot of the time. This is followed by mild mania for a short amount of time."
"You gave me this talk last time, and a leaflet the size of a bible to go with it." I muttered. Why'd he have to go and call it a disease? That sounds so.. Icky. As if its something that will make everyone run away from you because it's highly contagious, which it's obviously not.
"It's good to go over these again. It's your life, Flynn. You need to be able to control this." He said.
Karen cleared her throat, "so what are some of the symptoms?"
The doctor leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Depressive episodes include a loss of appetite, weight loss or gain, insomnia or the opposite, hypersomnia, low self esteem and guilt as well as lack of concentration... You know, the usual. These are all in the leaflet."
"Manic symptoms include fast thoughts, fast speaking, reckless behaviour, such as crime or hypersexuality, excessive productivity..."
I gulped.
"Anything to say, Flynn?" Dad asked, patting my shoulder.
"No." I said quietly. "Can we go now?"
"If you don't have any questions, then yes you can." the doctor said, standing up from his seat and handing Karen the paper with my prescription on it. "Also, if you are episode free for more than two months, then you must contact me. Got it?"
"Yes." I said, taking my prescription from Karen's hands and skim reading it.
"Don't forget to keep me informed about Flynn's behaviour for the rest week and next week." He called as we left out the door. I had my hands balled into fists, feeling the urge to punch him.
I think Karen noticed because she halted and crossed her arms over her chest, cocking a brow at my fists. Sheepishly, I untended them and shoved them into the pockets of my jacket.
"Let's go get your meds-" she started, but I interjected.
"Can we make a rule, please?"
"Shoot." Dad said.
"We can't ever say the word 'disease' when we discuss my thing. I don't like how it sounds." Nervously, I shrunk in my spot.
"Ok. We won't say the D word anymore." She assured and gave Dad a pointed look.
Content, we walked the rest of the way to the reception and headed out to the car. I hopped in and sprawled my legs across the backseat.
"Do you need anything for the sleepover tonight?" Karen asked, "movies? Popcorn?"
"I'm not getting involved in that, it's Casey's sleepover." I muttered.
"Oh but Ben's coming too, and he's not going to hang out with your sister and his younger brother." Dad told me. If only they knew the truth, of why I didn't want to hang out with him. Even sitting across from him on the sofa would make me want to jump his bones sometimes. Must be the witty comebacks and velvety voice. The way my name just reads of his lips and how his hands feel in my hair, and-
Remembering where I was, I just pursed my lips and held my hands over my crotch that was starting to get hard.
Shit.
"Oh, I've heard that Monster's Inc have released a prequel! I'm sure you guys would love that." Dad said, getting a tad bit excited. He and I had always been suckers for kid's films.
"Cool." I shrugged. Karen found a parking spot in a shopping centre car park and I hopped out the car.
"I'll go and get your meds from the pharmacy, you and Karen can go get stuff for tonight." Dad insisted. Part of me appreciated the fact he used Karen's name instead of 'you and your mum' because he knew I don't call her 'mum' ever.
"Fine." I muttered.
Karen and I walked towards HMV and she went towards the DVD's section while I just waited by the door and started texting Wyatt. I haven't spoken to him since I left uni, and it's felt like ages.
"Isn't this Ben?" Karen asked from a couple metres away and showed me a CD. I squinted my eyes until I could vaguely see the picture on it.
"Yeah." I shrugged. It looks like his band, New Level, released an album. I didn't keep up with music much, must've been why I didn't know about it.
Karen giggles before putting the CD in the small shopping basket. I rolled my eyes; I'd be fooled she didn't have a bit of an infatuation with Ben. Who wouldn't?
"Karen..." I warned, shoving my phone into my pocket and walking up to her. I took the disc out the basket and momentarily studied the cover, "he's like.. Twenty years younger than you."
She frowned and thwacked the back of my head playfully. I snorted and walked over to the back of the shop where all the sappy romance movies were. I wasn't there for the movies, I just melted a little at Ben's face on the album cover. I turned it around and looked at all the tracks, there weren't many, only six. Most of them were just covers of other songs, but there was two originals.
I contemplated it a little, before signing and taking my wallet out of my back pocket and going over to the till as discreetly as I could. I didn't want Karen to see, but luckily, she was way too enthused into the video games section to even notice an earthquake or something.
"£7.99." The cashier told me as he put the CD case into a small bag. I handed him a tenner and took my change and receipt before meeting Karen, who had a basket full of kid-friendly films.
"Find anything good?" She cocked a brow at the bag in my hand.
"Just some earphones I wanted." I waved off.
She just nodded at me and paid for the films before meeting me outside. Dad found us and he was carrying a paper bag from the pharmacy, I grabbed it from his hands and shoved it in to my HMV bag.
"Can we go now?" I asked.
"Oh, your sister wanted some sweets." Karen commented, "and some marshmallows for hot chocolate."
Dad and I sighed, bored out of our minds, while Karen giddily bounced as we walked in the general direction of the sweet shop. I'm pretty sure she was just as excited as Casey was.
Dad just patted my back before he went to tend to his wife, who was pretty much going looney.
Well tonight is going to be fun.