I stared at a grim looking Cortez from the hospital bed. He didn’t look at me as he stared out the window. We waited for the doctor’s news on what happen. He stood there calm but grim, while I was pounding with panic inside. He’s going to find out and kill me.
I opened my mouth but closed it when the door burst open, a smiling Dr. Farris bursting in.
“Ah. Mr. Cortez. It’s a pleasure. I’m a huge fan.” The doctor smiled at Cortez, who didn’t shake the offer hand, only nodded and leaned against the window seal.
“Anyway, Gem your condition is much better than it was yesterday. I would also like to conclude that your baby is fine. Healthy and-“
“Baby,” Cortez’s sharp voice pierced my ears, causing me to freeze. I watched as his body became stiffer than it already was.” What baby?”
The doctor’s eyebrows rose and he glanced back down at his clipboard,
“The baby that Gem over there is having. Already three weeks along.”
Cortez swung his accusing gaze towards me, I stared back. Heart pounding. With his gaze still on me,
“Doctor, will you give us a minute.” He said quietly and deadly. It wasn’t a question. The doctor was out in a flash.
“Who’s baby is it?” He bit out. I raised up, my hand out to him,
“Adrian let me explain, I-“
“Who’s fucking baby!” he shouted at me, causing me to jump, tears coming to my eyes.
“Yours…” I whispered and looked away, anywhere but him.
“When?” He raised his voice. “Gem! When we’re going to tell me?”
“I don’t k-know-” I broke off with a sob,” I was scared. I-I…”
“You what? Going to keep it a fucking secret? Going to find some other guy, so he can raise him instead of me?”
I just sat there, looking at him silent; not knowing what to say.
He sat in a chair, head in hands, his fingers clenched in his black hair. I wanted to go out to him, but knew he would push me away.
We stayed like for what seemed an hour. Saying nothing. Staring mutely at each other and in space.
Suddenly Cortez stood and stormed out of the room. Not looking back.
The tears came again, as I lay on my side. Everything was going to be okay. But I knew I was lying to myself.
**
I woke with a startle, when my door slammed open, a stony Cortez striding in, a priest walking behind him; bible in hand.
I looked at him confused, getting to my feet,” w-what is this? Adrian, what are you doing?” I swallowed hard and glanced at the priest, who was opening his bible,” W-why is he here?”
Cortez yanked off his jacket throwing it on the bed, and grasped my hand, yanking me toward the priest stopping but inches in front of him.
I watched startled as Cortez nodded towards the priest. The priest started speaking; before it all progressed in me I realized he was speaking wedding vows. I yanked my hand away from Cortez.
“Hell no, I am not marrying you.” I bit out sharply. I was a having his baby, but was not going to marry him.
He didn’t even glance my way when he talked,
“Yes, you will. Precede.” He said to the priest.
“NO.”
“Yes. You will. Because if you don’t do it, when that baby is born, I will make sure, with all the money that I have that the baby will be in my custody. Now, proceed.” He commanded sharply.
I stared at him, heart pounding. I knew in my heart he would do what he just told me. I turned towards the priest, repeating the words in my mind as he read the vows, for the baby, for the baby.
**
I stared at Cortez’s house as he parked the car in the driveway. My hair felt greasy and hurt with a migraine from the few days I had to deal with.
Married. I cannot believe I am married to the King of all ass holes.
I got out of the car and opened the trunk, yanking my bags angrily out of the car. Sorry, my house is bigger and better, he had said earlier, while throwing and stuffing all her stuff in her bags.
I entered the house and stared at the long stairway and at my bags. This was going to be hard.
“I’ll get them.” I jumped from the sharpness of his voice and nodded weakly as he bounded up the stairs with all five of my bags. I followed him silently.
The room wasn’t bad. Big. Really big. With its own little bathroom. I walked by the window and glanced out at the huge backyard. I felt excitement when I spotted the pool.
He dropped the bags on the purple bed and sighed glancing around,
“Well, I’m sure you can handle everything here. I’ll be in my office. Dinners at six.” He said and walked out. I glared at his back and went to un-pack.
After un-packing I decided to explore. Everything was of course expensive. He had his own gym, in-door pool, game room and his own little theater. Bet he had sex with numerous of women in that room.
I flicked on the lights in the garage and almost gasped. A freaking Lamborghini.
Shiny and black. I bit my lip, I had to drive it. I grabbed my purse quickly, needing to go shopping and by maternity clothes. It was weird because I never thought I’d ever enter that store.
**
Michael Jackson’s,”Thriller,” blared out of the speakers as I pulled in the garage. The car filled with groceries with the things I wanted and liked to eat and lots and lots of clothes. I glanced at the clock before I took the keys out and-shit. It was nine o’clock. He was going to be pissed.
I grabbed the groceries and clothes, barely being able to open the door and slammed it shut with my foot. I walked blindly through the darkness and finally felt the light for the kitchen.
“Where the hell have you been?” Cortez’s voice cut through my thoughts as I nearly screamed when I spotted him sitting on a stool.
I set the groceries down, avoiding him. I was not talking to him. Ignoring him, I put the groceries away. I started, when he grabbed my arm and yanked me around.
“Did you not hear me? I asked where the fuck have you been. I been waiting and calling for you.” He shouted. I yanked my hand away, crossing my arms. My body started to shake, from the dangerous look he had on his face.
“For your information, this is a free country. And second because you knocked me up, none of my clothes fit so I had to buy new ones. Got that buddy?” I demanded.
“Don’t you fucking raise your voice like that to me. I’m your husband now, and I will not tolerate my wife raising her fucking voice to me. Do you understand?” He bit out sharply. I swallowed hard and turned towards him.
“Fine. Goodnight.” I whispered and walked away, bags in hand.
Later I was awoken, when I felt hands go up under my night gown.
“Adrian?” I whispered uncertainty.
“Shhh.” Was all he said.
I watched silently as he lifted my nightgown up and undid his pants. I opened my legs and helped him with his pants. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol hit my nose.
I groaned in pleasure and pain when he finally came into me. Might as well use each other for pleasure. He moved silently in me, little moans escaping mouth, and some sharp groans escaping him.
When we both finally came, he collapses sweaty and breathing heavily on top of me. He got off a few seconds later, zipped up his pants and walked silently out of the room. I stared at the place where he disappeared and dropped back to my pillows. Disappointment clouded my mind.
Was it because I was getting fat that he didn’t stay? Or was because he was a complete ass hole with no feelings? I fell asleep before I could pick which one.
**
I held my breath as I jumped in the pool. It felt amazing in the hot weather.
“Be careful of the baby. Don’t want to have another accident.” Cortez said softly from the side of the pool, reading the newspaper, cigarette in mouth.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I asked annoyed. He placed the newspaper down, inhaling and breathing out smoke.
“I took a two week leave. Personal matters.” Was all he said.
“Ohh. That’s a pity. That means more of us time. Yeaaah…” I murmured and swam back and forth.
I stopped when he came over and bent down, grabbing my face, he kissed me. I froze and rose up, opening my mouth and kissing him harder. He made a noise and stuck his tongue into my mouth exploring. Breaking the kiss off, he walked away. That was it?
“Babe, there’s some laundry that needs to be done. And can you make me some lunch?” he asked, already gone into his office.
I’m pregnant and he still wants me to do the chores? I really felt like killing.
*
I washed the dishes and glanced at the phone when it rung.
“Adrian! Can you get that?” I shouted and rinsed my hands.
The phone didn’t’ stop ringing. I cursed and wiped my hands, grabbing the phone roughly.
“Cortez residents.” I spoke cheerily in the phone. I liked saying it because Cortez didn’t like it.
“Gem?” I recognized it immediately.
I smiled and grasped the phone more firmly,” Bangs, how is it going?”
“Holy shit. It’s true, you married the guy. All I can say is congrats. Gem, I’ve got big news.” She rapidly said through phone.” I’m getting married!” she burst out, which shocked me.
“Really? To who?” I asked.
“Thomas! It was all so sudden, we were having dinner and then he was on his knee and one thing led to the other.” She said happily.
“Congrats. When’s the wedding?”
“In two days.” She responded. I almost choked.
“Three days? Really? That means-“
“That my bachelorette party is in two days! You have to come! Tom’s having his tomorrow and he’s already inviting Cortez, or has already. But it will be awesome.” She spoke and quickly said she had to go because Thomas was home.
**
I was sitting beside the pool on the lounge when Cortez brought up the Bachelor party. He cleared his throat,
“So, Thomas and Veronica are getting married, and Thomas is having a bachelor party.”
I sat like stone. Stirring my tea pretending to be casual.” I’ve heard about that. You get drunk, and offer the groom advice?” I smiled thinly. “ Sounds fun.”
“Yes, something like that,” Cortez said, not taking his eyes off her. “ Every once in a while…”
I got up abruptly, moving in the kitchen, and started to stack dishes silently.
“Is this…upsetting you?” he asked.
“Is this upsetting me?” I asked incredulously.” I don’t understand the question. Are the women dressed?”
“Not entirely dressed.”
“So you have the answer to your own question built in.”
“I go, I drink, I sit, I talk, somewhere the girls dance, I come home. What’s the problem?”He asked stressed.” This is a drink and some pool-“
“And naked women.”
“So? It’s not like I’m going to cheat on you or something.” He said.
I stared at him mutely and looked away cleaning off the table. He sighed,
“How can I not go?”Cortez said distressed, moving forward. “ I have to go. It’s Thomas. One of my player’s. You and I are in the wedding party. I mean, be serious. They’ll laugh about this if they hear I can’t go cause my pregnant wife says so.”
“Naked girls for you on Thomas’s behalf?” I raised my hand to stop him.” Look, don’t use that voice of yours with me, and don’t insult me with your I-just-don’t-understand-why-you’d-be-upset attitude. I may not have had as much experience as you in this area-as if such a thing is possible-but I’m not stupid.”
“I didn’t say-“
“Whatever.” I said and turned away.
“Gem,” he said, lowering his voice,” give me a fucking break.”
“Naked girls dancing in front of you?” I asked incredulously.
“Fuck.” He muttered and stormed out, grabbing his cigarettes. I followed him after a few minutes.
Adrian was sitting on a bench, not looking at me as I stood in front of him.
“I’m asking you to please not go,” I said.” I can’t stand it.”
“Come on,” he said.” You’re-“
“ Overreacting? Not understanding? Being too childish? You’re right, I wish I could be more understanding-like, say, Cara. I know that at times like these, you wish you were married to someone like her. But you’re not. Though I hear she’s available.”
Groaning, Cortez shook his head, not looking at her.
“”I’m going to tell you something,” I said.” I didn’t want to say anything, because I had no intention og going. But…I’ve been invited to a party too.”
Now he looked up at me.
“That’s right. Day after Tomorrow,” I said.” Bangs’s bachelorette party. She invited me.”
Now he stood up, his cigarette was put out.” Where lots of men will be.”
“That’s right. But I didn’t want to go. I didn’t think you’d want me in a place like that. With the baby and all.”
“And you’d be right.”
“Well, I,” I said, looking at him,” don’t like you in a place like that.”
“All the men are going!” he exclaimed.” It’s a normal thing.”
“Well since you insist, I’ll go to that party and you can go to your naked party, and we’ll leave it like that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to bed.” I turned to go.
He came up behind me and put his hand over my mouth.” Stop it, you impossible woman,” he said.” Just stop it. I won’t go.” My hands glided over his arms.” I don’t want to upset you. I thought you might have been alright with it.”
I muttered something.
He kissed the top of my head and took his hand away from my face with a great sigh.
*
Friday night, Adrian, in black slacks, a black collared shirt, and black shiny shoes, shaven, hair styled, sober, left for the bachelor party at eight, saying he’d be home by one.
He had kissed her when he left. He smelled and looked great.
One o’clock came.
In my silk robe, bare underneath, I waited.
Two o’clock came—and went.
Fear started to course through me when it hit two forty-five. Naked dancers was out of mind. All I could think about was a car accident. Bleeding Cortez. The minutes dripped by.
2:58. Was it only three minutes since I looked?
Oh my god.
3:00
3:30
3:46
4:18
I called the hospital making sure he wasn’t there. He wasn’t.
I lay by the phone on the couch, motionless. 4:48.
At eight minutes past five, I heard the car in the drive way. It was lurching forward.
I Jumped and ran outside and was nearly ran over by the porsche. It crashed into the yard; the door was flung open. I saw that he was alright and really drunk. I have never seen him this drunk. It was useless to scream at him now, but what was I going to do with all my anger? He looked at me completely unfocused and mouthed,” Hey, babe.”
“My God, Adrian,” I whispered, shaking.” It’s five in the morning.”
He stumbled out of the car, his keys falling on the pebbled ground, leaned into her, smelling aggressively of alcohol and smoke, but also of…
The sick pit inside me opened up. He smelled of cheap perfume.
Rocking from side to side, he staggered past her into the house, fell on the bed and was unconscious in all his clothes, in his shoes, everything. I undressed him and somehow got him under the covers. I went outside and searched the entire car, and his glove compartments—for condoms maybe? It was horrible. Nothing but the smell of cheap perfume.
I laid down next to him, keeping my hand on him. It was nearly seven when I managed to fall asleep.
I woke up at ten. He was still unconscious.
Getting up, I showered. I cooked breakfast and answered the phone when it ringed. It was Bangs.
“Did you hear what they were up to last night?” She asked.
“NO.” I said tiredly, sitting down.” Bangs, I really have to go—“
“Had some kind of wild girl show, at the Bulton suits.” She giggled.” You should ask Cortez about it, if and when he sobers up. Thomas is still pretty hungover.”
I hung up. It was all I could do not to retch.
I left to go shopping, not even leaving him a note.
When I got home around four, Adrian came outside to me in the driveway, looking hungover but sober.” Hey.” He said. Iignored him and walked into the house.
I silently unpacked the groceries while Cortez carried them in Cortez cxame up tome me in the kitchen and again said,”Hey,” nudging me.
I said,” Hey,” and turned to the refrigerator.
“Kiss me, Gem,” he said.
I lifted my face without looking at him. He kissed me and then said,” Look at me.”
I opened my eyes and glared at him.
“ Ah,” he said. “You’re upset.”
“I’m beyond upset,” I said , slamming the refrigerator door.
The phone rang and Cortez went to answer it.
I went to the bedroom and got ready to go out. I put on my new violet silk dress and black pumps. You couldn’t really see the baby bump. Tonight I put on red lipstick, mascara and black eye liner. I put on earrings and a choker necklace. I sprayed some expensive perfume and could still smell the cheap perfume. I was just finishing brushing my hair when Cortez walked into the bedroom. For a few minutes he stood watching her at the dressing table. Glaring at him through the mirror, I said,” There is some pizza from yesterday and plenty of beer and—“
“I know where the food is,” He kicked the door shut behind him.”Where are you going?”
“Tonight’s the party, remember?”
Quietly, Cortez said,” You told me you weren’t going.”
“And you told me,” I said. “you’d be home at one.” I was doing all I could to keep my voice down.
“I got drunk. I forgot to call. The bar closes at two.”
“What about the Bulton hotel suite, what time does that close?’
There was silence behind her, and a sigh. I couldn’t look into the mirror to see his face.” It’s that damn Thomas,” Cortez said.” He couldn’t walk, and asked me to help him up stairs.”
“Really?”
“ I left soon after, but it took me forever to get home—“
“Enough!” I shouted.
He stepped forward,” What? I did come home. You saw me.”
“Yes,” I said pissed.” And you were quite a sight at five in the morning. Can you get out of my way?”
“It took me three hours to get home from downtown. I had to stop every few minutes and close my eyes, cause I was so damn tired.”
“Yeah and it was really nice smelling all that cheap perfume.” I said sharply and put on a braclet.
Cortez stood in her way.” This is ridiculous.”
“ I’m going to be late.”
“You told me you weren’t going.”
“And you told me you weren’t going to see any women! You told me you were coming home at one!”
“ We were drinking! I was drunk.”
“Love your excuses. So why didn’t you call me?”
“I. Was. Drunk,” he repeated slowly as if speaking to a child.
“I. Am. Leaving.” I tried to move past him.
He took me by the arms.” Babe, I’m sorry. I promise—“
“You and your stupid promises!” I cried, pulling his hands off me.” You get drunk and forget all about me!”
“I don’t forget about you,’ he said.” Stop shouting. My skull is splitting in two.”
“Let’s not say another word. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, when I’m less upset.” I made a go around him. He wouldn’t let me, locking the door behind him.
“Adrian, stop it,” I said, trying to push him away, but he stood in front of me like a block of cement.
“I went for my friend.” He said quietly.
“Ooh. And you didn’t get a lap dance?” I said and his face dropped.
Cortez took me by the arms and sat me on the bed.” You’re not going.”
I jumped up. He seized my arms and set me back sown.”Gem,” he said lowly.” Stop it.”
“Let go of me. What are you worried about? I’ll be very good. As good as you.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake” His fingers tightened around ne.” You are not going, so calm down and let us talk about this like adults.”
“Let go of me,” I breathed out.” You can’t do this.”
“I can’t?’ he said. So stop me, Gem.”
Desperatley, trying not to squirm of the discomfort of his hands, I struggled against him, losing my breath.
“Your just doing this to upset me,” said Cortez.” And it’s working—consider me upset.” The more I struggled, the harder he held me. I bit on my lip and tried not to cry out in pain when his grip became too strong. Switching his grasp me, Cortez held me against him and just with one arm, while his free hand went under my silk dress and up my stockings to my naked flesh.”You’re going to a party dressed like this?” he said, breathing out hard, touching my underwear.” Why even bother with panties, Gem?”
“Adrian, let me go!”
“stop fighting me and I’ll let go.” He was so enormous and upset, he was forgetting himself and his strength. He was going to bruise her.
“Let go and I’ll stop fighting.”
“Gem.” His fingers clenched on me. on my thigh. I cried out.
I started struggling against him.” You can’t win this,” he panted.” Stop right now.”
“ Tell me,” I croaked,’ did you do this to your naked whore, too? Did she like it?”
“Not as much as you.” Cortez retorted and I bursted into tears and then started to scream.
Cortez pushed me on the bed, and I scrambled up and ran for the bathroom, slamming and locking the door. He kicked the door open. I backed away, stumbling against the bath tub, crying loudly stop, please stop, putting up my hands as he came towards me. He grabbed my face,
“ Stop fucking yelling! You want to go? Go ahead. Go. I don’t give a fuck what you do.” Roughly releasing me, he left the bathroom, and I slammed the broken door shut.
I came out later and walked out passed Cortez smoking his cigarette.
I left the house, go into the car, and drove away.