Sunlight streaming through a large window burns my still-closed eyes. Groaning, I swipe the soft pillow I'm resting on and pull it over my head, blocking out the light.
"Oh no you don't."
Someone snatches the pillow from me, and I claw at it feebly to try and get it back. Sighing, I realize it's no use and open my eyes.
And I glare at Shikamaru's grinning face.
"Waz goin' on?" I slur, my voice thick from sleep. He rolls his eyes. "Nothing really," he says. "Except that you missed every preliminary match but your own."
I make a rude gesture with my hand and grab the pillow from him, pulling it over my head and flopping back down on the bed. "You made me get up for that?" I mutter irritably.
I'm no fun when I've just woken up. Just ask Masaki.
"Well, I've actually been trying to wake you up for the past week."
Week?
What's he talking about?
I throw the pillow to the foot of my bed... only to realize it's not my bed. It's a white, clean bed that I've only seen in one place in Konoha. The hospital.
"How long was I out?" I ask, exasperated. Shikamaru shrugs. "Bout a week," he says. "You passed out during Sasuke's match and you've been out ever since. Scared the hell out of all of us."
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Shikamaru throws his hands over his ears, one eye scrunched closed. He glares at me with his other eye. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SCREAMING?" he shouts.
"I'VE BEEN OUT COLD FOR A WEEK!"
"YEAH! SO?"
"I'M IN THE FINAL ROUND OF THE EXAMS! WHEN IS IT?!"
"IN THREE WEEKS!!"
"Oh."
Sighing, Shikamaru drops his hands, crossing his arms over his chest. I've noticed a lot of the guys in the Village do this. I do it too. I can't help it; it's like a natural reflex when I'm annoyed.
"You're insane. Have I ever told you that?"
"It might have come up recently."
"I should say it more often."
"Eh, if you think it'll do any good."
"...It won't, will it?"
"Not a bit."
He runs a hand down his face, muttering, "What a drag!" I smile at him. "Sorry, Shikamaru. I just got worried."
He closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them, he manages a smile back at me. "Team Eight has not been good for you, has it?" I shrug. "Depends on you point of view, I guess. Personally, I think my team is the best thing that's ever happened to me. You know, besides being friends with you," I add hastily, seeing the inevitable eyeroll starting to happen. He grins. "Flattery will get you nowhere, my friend."
"Anyway, who else made it into the final round?"
"Well, me, you, that Gaara kid, both his teammates, Dosu, who's one of the Sound Village Ninja, Naruto, Sasuke, Shino, and Neji Hyuga."
I blanch.
"Neji!" I exclaim, quickly clamping a hand over my mouth when I see Shikamaru's annoyed expression. "Wait, what happened to Kiba and Hinata?"
"Kiba lost to Naruto in a huge upset, and Hinata..." He sighs. "She was beaten to a pulp by her cousin Neji. I think she's still in the hospital--"
I'm up and out of my bed before Shikamaru's done talking, racing into the hallway. I look from side to side, unsure of where to go. Shikamaru appears in the doorway, one eyebrow raised in a question. "Hinata," I say. "Where is she?"
After a slight hesitation, Shikamaru waves his hand, indicating for me to follow. He leads me down the hallway, stopping outside a door identical to my own. I push it open quickly and dash inside... to see Hinata sitting up bed with Kiba and Shino standing at the foot of the bed.
"Hinata!" I shout, tackle-hugging her. She gasps as my arms go around her neck, and then winces in pain. I back off quickly, staring at her with wide eyes. "Oh my God!" I say quickly. "I just heard. You fought Neji? How did that happen? What happened? Hinata, oh are you alright?"
"I-I'm doing better, Akari," she says quietly, a hand to her chest.
"Jeez," Kiba mutters, his gray jacket replaced by a darker-gray hoodie, the hood pulled down. "You just woke up and you're already so hysterical. Is it your time of the--"
Shino slaps a hand over Kiba's mouth, effectively cutting him off. I glare at him, after thanking Shino with a quick smile.
"Kiba," I say shortly. "Shut up. You lost to Naruto, apparently, and I'll be hearing about that later. Right now, though, I'm more worried about how Hinata did, understand?"
He rolls his eyes, but nods and Shino drops his hand.
"I lost," Hinata says quietly, her voice barely loud enough to hear. I sit gently on the side of her bed, taking hold of her trembling hand. "That's alright, Hinata," I say. "There's always next time."
She shakes her head. "I tried so hard, though," she says dejectedly. "I wanted... I wanted to impress him, so he'd finally notice me. For once, he was watching me. And yet, all I could was be the weak coward that I am."
"Naruto," I say knowingly, giving her hand a squeeze. "You wanted to impress Naruto, right?"
She nods.
"But Hinata," Shikamaru says, stepping into the room. "He was impressed. He thought you'd gave it your all. You should have seen how mad he was at Neji for insulting you, and nearly killing you."
Nearly. Killing. You?
Oh that Hyuga is going down.
Hinata blushes crimson, dropping her head, her blue hair falling into her eyes. "R-Really?" she squeaks. He nods. "He vowed to win against Neji in the final rounds, swearing on your blood, actually."
Seeing that Hinata is alright, I turn around to face my lazy friend. "That's right, I forgot to ask. Who's facing who in the third round?"
"I'm facing Temari, Shino's facing Kankuro, Sasuke's facing Gaara, Naruto is facing Neji, and you're facing Dosu."
"The Sound Ninja?"
"Yeah. Not sure how well your ice will work against him."
"Hm..."
Kiba's eyes suddenly widen and he jumps in front of me, putting his face way too close to mine. "I forgot! WHAT WAS THAT BACK THERE?!"
"Oh," I say. He's talking about my Ice Release kekkei genkai. Should I tell them? Kakashi knows, but telling people I'll have to see everyday... Well, they are my teammates, and Shikamaru is one of my best friends. They may be a little shocked, but I think it'll be ok.
"That was my kekkei genkai," I say casually. "The Ice Release kekkei genkai, to be exact."
....... Wonderful. Now all their faces are going to be permanately frozen in shock.
"Guys," I say quickly, holding my hands, palms facing out. "It's not that weird is it? I mean, I have a kekkei genkai. So does Hinata. Are you all really that--"
"Is that how you saved us in the Forest of Death?"
I blink slowly, then nod warily at Shino. Kiba looks from him to me and back again. He nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, you never did tell us how you managed to beat three Ninja by yourself. So you used your kekkei genkai to do it?"
I nod again, eyes on my fidgeting hands.
"THAT"S SO FREAKING AWESOME!"
I look up, startled, at Kiba's grinning face. "Why didn't you tell us before?" he asks. I turn to look at the wall, shame making my face heat up. "I wasn't sure what it was in the first place, and I... I thought it would freak you all out, and you'd be scared of me."
Huh? How come I'm just realizing this now?
"Akari, we could never be afraid of you. You're our friend and our teammate," Hinata says softly, reassuringly.
I can't bite back the scowl on my face. Gaara's own family fears him, forget the fact that their teammates. And they fear him because of his power, because of who he is.
But I push that thought aside and smile at Hinata. "I know," I say. "I was just being stupid."
"Oh so you weren't acting out of character then."
"Shut up Shikamaru! I'll throw you in the koi pond again!"
He laughs and laughs while I glare at him, huffing with annoyance. That is, until a tall man with a shiny bowl-cut and a familiar green jumpsuit rushes past Hinata's room, his nervous energy making me tense worriedly.
"Who was that?" I ask. Shikamaru looks out the door, down the hallway. He sighs. "That's Guy. He's the Sensei of Neji Hyuga, Rock Lee and Tenten." Shikamaru looks back at me, frowning. "You missed Gaara and Lee's fight," he says, and I smile apologetically. It's not my fault I passed out. Well, it kinda is actually. Anyway...
"It was... it was one of the most intense, unnatural fights I've ever seen," he continues. "Lee ended up using some forbidden jutsu to defeat Gaara, but it backfired, and he could barely move. He hadn't hurt Gaara as badly as he'd thought, and the kid crushed Lee's left arm and left leg with his sand. They say Lee will never be a Ninja again," he adds sadly, watching the hallway again.
"Hey, where are you going?" Kiba asks me as I start towards the door. I reply without looking back at him. "If this guy was brave enough to take on Gaara, I want to meet him."
I leave the others behind and follow the sound of voices to another door exactly like my own. I pause there, my hand raised to knock. These guys don't know me. What will they think when I suddenly come in and start asking about Lee's fight? Probably that I'm some creepy stalker fangirl.
Oh well.
I knock lightly on the door, and after a minute, it slides open, revealing the same man I saw running down the hall. He narrows his eyes at me. "Who are you?" he asks.
I smile nervously, hands clasped behind my back. "My name is Akari Kita. I saw you and your team during the Chunin Exams. I heard about Lee's fight, and I wanted to see how he was doing."
"Akari Kita?" the man repeats. I nod. "Ah, so you're the youthful butterfly who fought her older brother and won!"
I take a slight step back, freaked out by his sudden interest and intensity. And did he just call me a youthful butterfy? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
But nevetheless, when he offers to let me come inside, I do. This man, Might Guy he tells me, says he has to go on a mission, and that he'd really appreciate it if I gave Lee some company for a while. I smile and agree, telling him I'd love to.
Lee watches me, saying nothing, as I walk over to his window and sit back on the sill, watching the clouds go by over my shoulder.
"You are Akari, are you not?"
My eyes still on the sky, I say, "Yeah, that's me. And you're Rock Lee?"
I turn back to Lee, who is a mirror image of his Sensei, and smile, even though on the inside, I'm totally depressed. Gaara really did a number on this poor kid, who looks to be a year older than me. His lower half is covered by a blanket so I can't see how badly damaged his leg is, but I can see his left arm, the one Shikamaru said was crushed by Gaara's sand. It's completely bandaged and even with the covering, I can tell the bones and muscles are broken and shredded.
They say Lee will never be a Ninja again...
I can see why they'd say that.
"So, you fought Gaara, right?" I ask. Lee stiffens. His non-broken fist clenches and he stares at his blankets. "Yes," he says finally. "And I was beaten by a true genius once again."
"You were beaten by a monster, not a genius," I mutter. He looks up at me, confused. "You did not see the match, Miss Akari. How can you say something about his character?"
"Because," I growl, fisting my own hands. "I saw him in the Forest of Death. He's a heartless monster who enjoys taking human lives. You're lucky to still be alive."
"Lucky," Lee echoes, chuckling darkly. "I suppose you could say that. I do not feel very lucky though. I have been told because of the injuries I have sustained, that I can never again be the Splendid Ninja I wish to be."
His eyes are shiny with tears, and I look at him sadly. "Nothing's certain, Lee," I tell him, hoping to lift his spirits despite my serious doubts. "Have faith, and don't give in. My teammates and I were saved by a miracle during the second Exam. Without it, I wouldn't be here talking to you now. So don't think everything is set in stone. Things change all the time. Maybe you'll get a miracle too."
"You are kind, Miss Akari," Lee says softly, offering me a small smile. "You don't have to be so formal," I say, grinning playfully. "But if you want to, go right ahead."
"I saw your match," Lee says after a while of silence. "Was that boy really your brother?"
I nod, briefly wondering what's become of Masaki before focusing on Lee again. "Yeah, Masaki Kita. He's three years older than me."
"You were very skilled during the match," Lee says. "Even the genius, Neji Hyuga, was impressed by you."
"Neji, huh?" I say bitterly, drawing one foot up onto the sill and resting my arm on my knee. "You do not like him?" Lee questions. "Do you even know him?"
"I know of him," I say, waving my hand. "That girl he fought, Hinata Hyuga, is my teammate. She's told me how much he despises the Main Family of the Hyuga Clan, and now I've heard he's taken out some of his rage on Hinata." I grit my teeth in anger, trying not to think about Hinata's frail form sitting in her hospital bed. When I see this Neji guy, I don't care how strong he is, I'm going to destroy him.
"I don't like people who hurt my teammates," I add softly, resting my forehead against my arm. "Neji is not a terrible person," Lee says. I look at him from the corner of my eye. "He nearly killed Hinata, Lee," I say. "All because of something that isn't even her fault."
"Yes, but although Neji can be arrogant and rude, he is still a magnificant Ninja. He is one of the best Genin in the Leaf Village."
"And that gives him the right to pummel my teammate until she's on the verge of death?"
"Of course not," Lee replies, sounding much more unsure now. I sigh and shake my head at him. "Look," I say. "You're not going to convince me of anything, so let's just drop the subject, shall we?"
Lee nods and we strike up a conversation about the rest of the preliminary matches. He tells me about everyone but Choji and Dosu, because by that point he'd been knocked out and taken to the hospital. I laugh when he talks about Naruto and Kiba. Kiba must've been so embarrassed!
But this explains why Akamaru wasn't with him. Little puppy must be getting treatment from Kiba's older sister, Hana. He's told me she's good with healing dogs.
I've yet to meet her, probably because I'm afraid to go over his house. I've said it before, but Kiba's mom scares me. Tsume, I think he name is. Her and her gigantic dog just freak me out. No offense to her, but she acts like a man a lot of the time.
"You know," Lee says, sounding like he's just thought of something strange. I lean forward a bit, gripping the edge of the sill with both hands, swinging my legs back and forth. "Something odd happened just after you passed out." He pauses, then asks, "Have you not wondered about who caught you?"
I frown, tilting my head to the side. To be honest, I've forgotten about the whole incident by now. Though, now that I think about it, he's right. Someone did catch me.
"I kinda just thought it was Kakashi or Kurenai Sensei. They were closest to me," I say, shrugging my shoulders. Lee shakes his head. "It was not either," he says. "It was Gaara of the Desert who caught you, Miss Akari."
I shudder involuntarily, thinking about having been so close to the red-headed boy. "W-Why would he do that?" I stutter. Again, Rock Lee shakes his head. He doesn't know.
I sigh, looking back at the sky. It's reddening, the sun sinking below the horizon. I turn back to Lee, forcing a smile onto my face. "Well, nothing will come from worrying about it," I say, making him blink in surprise. "And I've got to get going. I've been out for a week, and I'm sure my family is worried. But I'll come and visit you again, alright?" Lee nods and smiles his charming smile that is so much like his Sensei's, it creeps me out.
I say goodbye to Lee and pass by Hinata's room on my way to check out. Hinata is fast asleep and Shino, Kiba and Shikamaru are all gone. I sigh, gripping my wrist with the opposite hand behind my back as I walk to the lobby. I talk to the nurse there, and after I sign some forms, she releases me. I smile and thank her, and start to head home.
It's dark by the time I get there, but the lights are still on inside. I push open the door and am greeted by a bruised-looking Masaki smacking into me.
I fall onto my butt, rubbing my forehead, which collided with his nose, painfully. I look up at Masaki with a scowl. "I just got released from the hospital, and this is how you treat me?" I mutter irritably. Seeing me, his face breaks into a huge grin, and he scoops me up in his arms and drags me inside.
"You're back!" he shouts, and I wince. I know how Shikamaru felt back in the hospital now.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm back. Now can you stop crushing the life out of me?" Masaki drops me sheepishly and I fall ungraciously to the floor. Muttering curses under my breath, I climb to my feet, just as my mother appears in front of me.
She is not a Ninja, and has never wanted to be one. She didn't want that life for either of us, and when we were younger she tried to convince us that being a Ninja was a terrible idea. Really, all she did was make me want to be a Ninja even more.
"Akari," she says sweetly, wrapping me in a gentle hug. But it feel awkward to me now, and I don't know why. Thinking back, this is how her hugs have always felt, though I've only just noticed it.
"You see it too?" he asks over his shoulder. I nod slowly, transfixed by the sight of the white crystals as they blot out he rest of the world. Haku smiles, his very pretty, slightly girlish smile. "I'm glad I was able to show you the snow you were never able to experience."
Zabuza looks down at him, nudging the boy'a shoulder with his fist. "What happened to not saying anything?" the rogue Ninja questions, almost cheekily.
Haku blinks at him, before slowly melting into another smile. "I'm afraid I couldn't resist," he says. He turns to me and offers a small wave, before following Zabuza through the forest.
Just as they are almost out of sight, I call out, "Wait! What did you mean by that?!"
But only the howling wind answers me.
In my dream with Haku and Zabuza, they both kept hinting at something they weren't allowed to tell me. And Haku acted as if he's known me for years. And then there's my kekkei genkai, something none of the Kita possess. I look up at my Mom with questioning eyes, and she blinks at me.
"What is it, sweetheart?" she asks, guiding me over to our dining room table where the three of us, including Masaki, take a seat. I shrug. "I've just been thinking about some things, a weird dream I had." I pause, feeling both their loving gazes on me.
"Who is my father?"
It's a question I've asked a thousand and one times, and never gotten an answer to. Mom used to tell me, "When you're older." Well, I'm older now, and I want to know.
"W-What?" my mom stutters, while Masaki gapes at me. I'm surprised he doesn't want to know. I mean, he was only three when I was born, and our father left. He shouldn't have many memories of him. So why does he seem so opposed to finding out about him?
"My father, the man who's responsible for my being born," I say slowly, gesturing with my hand for emphasis. "You've never told me who he is."
"W-Where is this coming from, Akari?" my Mom asks, her voice high and tight. "You haven't asked in years."
I lean back in my chair, studying the panicked face of my Mom, and the look of absolute terror on Masaki's. What are they not telling me?
"It's just that, during the second part of the Chunin Exams, I found out I have a kekkei genkai."
My mom doesn't even react to that.
"...And I know the Kitas don't have a kekkei genkai in their heritage. So my dad must have been from another Clan, right?"
There is absolute silence in our house, as my mother and my brother refuse to say anything to me. I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at the wall.
So my dad's from another Clan, so what? It doesn't bother me. In fact, it explains why I totally suck at Taijutsu. But wait, Masaki doesn't suck at Taijutsu. And mom isn't from the Kita Clan. She's just an average citizen of Konoha. So Masaki couldn't have gotten his skills from her. Does that mean--
"I can tell by the look on your face that you've figured at least some of it out," my Mom says softly, her eyes on the table. "You and Masaki have different fathers."
"W-What?"
"It's true, Akari," Masaki says gently, reaching for my hand. I snatch it away from him and hold it close to my chest. He sighs. "My father was from the Kita Clan, but he died when I was very young, on a mission for the Village."
I stare at my Mom in shock. "Mom," I say, my voice shaking. "W-Who is my father then?"
She closes her eyes, refusing to look at me. "I never met him," she says, almost inaudibly.
A nervous laugh bubbles up inside me, sounding loud and awkward in the following silence. But my mother's look doesn't change. "That's not physically possibly, Mom," I say, not enjoying the joke much. "That can't happen--"
"Unless I'm not your mother."
I feel nauseous, my stomach tied in knots and my breathing quick and shallow. "What the hell are you talking about?!" I shout, jumping to my feet and knocking my chair over in the process.
"I had hoped I would never have to tell you this," my Mom--no, this woman says. She sighs and looks at me, right in the eye. "You were found by Leaf Ninja twelve years ago, in the Land of Water. You were alone, wrapped in a ratty blanket, in the middle of an alleyway. The Ninja brought you here, to Konoha, and the Hokage allowed me to adopt you."
She smiles at me sadly. "I have never loved you any less, Akari," she says, but I'm too angry to listen. I lean over the table, putting our faces close together. Her eyes widen when she sees the anger and betrayal in my brown ones.
We look nothing alike. I look nothing like Masaki. Why did I never notice before?
"Who. Am. I?" I growl.
She shakes her head, her eyes closed. "There was a note," she says, still not looking at me. "But it only said, 'Akari' on it. I don't know anything about your past."
"WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME?"
Both Masaki and the woman flinch at the tone in my raised voice, and the raggedness of my breathing. I'm angry, I'm hurt, and all I want to do is punch something. But I'm holding myself back, because I want answers more than anything else.
"You were so happy, so happy," she says softly, shaking her head again. "I could never bring myself to tell you the truth. I did it out of love for you, Akari!"
"If you'd ever loved me," I say coldly, my eyes glinting menacingly, "you would have told me the truth the moment I could understand it."
"And you!" I growl, swinging my attention to Masaki, who flinches under my gaze. "You knew all this time, and you let me believe that you were my brother?!"
"I'm still your brother," he insists. "I always have been. Are you going to throw away our entire relationship because you've found out we're not related by blood?"
"No," I growl. "Because there is nothing to throw away. A relationship, love, built on lies isn't real! Don't you understand that?!"
"Akari! Don't say that!"
"I've already said it, Masi!"
Seething with barely suppressed anger, I whirl around and stalk out of the house, starting to run when I hit the dirt street. I run, despite the anguished shouts calling me "home". I can't call it that anymore. I can't call them my family. They may have raised me, they may have "loved" me, but none of it was real. Lies. It was all lies. For as long as I can remember, those two have done nothing but lie to me.
She is not my mother.
He is not my brother.
I have no one.
My falling tears flash silver under the light of the rising moon as I run, desperate to get away from the secrets and lies I've lived with for twelve years.