Past
Friday, November 27, 2012
12:56a.m.
This time it was Corrine's turn to have to creep quietly up the stairs to the bedroom she'd spent countless nights on the opposite end of the spectrum. It was her turn to avoid looking in his eyes as she lied about where she'd been before rushing to the shower to wash off the scent of another. It was her turn to lie down with her back toward her husband, wide awake because the guilt she felt wouldn't allow her the privilege of escaping to her dreams.
Or. . .at least it would've been, if, Richard had been home.
She should've been upset that her husband hadn't been home at almost one o'clock in the fucking morning. But. . .did she really have a right this time?
As sleep brought her into the next day, she was still unable to shake herself from the shame and regret she'd felt. She squeezed her eyelids shut as she felt the bed shift, either Richard was just getting home or he managed to sneak in as she was sleeping and was getting up for work. Corrine laid stock still, not wanting to let him know that she'd woken up, and eventually she got her answer as she heard the shower running.
Releasing the breath she didn't realize she was holding, she sat up and ran her fingers through her still straightened hair. How was she supposed to look him in the eye knowing what she'd done the night before with Bleu? This was her husband for Christ's sake! Yet she'd betrayed him in such a way. But what made the situation worse, was the fact that a part of her, small or not, wanted to do it again.
And again.
And again.
Just as she shook her head clear of the memories from the previous night, Richard's iPhone pinged with a text message. Ignoring the noise would've been the best option to take, however about two more followed, further irritating her. Completely annoyed, she reached over to the nightstand on his side of the bed, snatching the phone from its charger and planning to silence it.
"Loud ass phone!" She mumbled. Her thumb hovered over the illuminated screen as she stared at the text message from Kyle:
Kyle: Don't forget about later, you promised ;) [7:00a.m]
Its harmless, she willed herself to believe, but the ambiguity of the text message only fueled her curiosity. Perhaps it wasn't just curiosity, but the desire to prove her intuition wrong. With a trembling hand and building anxiety, she opened the thread. Instantly her eyes landed on the last three messages that were sent:
Kyle: Good morning, Officer Dick [6:59a.m]
Kyle: Make sure you kiss our wife for me. Right on the lips. Lol. [6:59a.m]
"What. The. Fuck." Corrine was completely outdone at the audacity of Kyle, but like the glutton for punishment that she was, she went deeper into the conversation of Kyle and Richard.
Richard: You have a fiancé don't you? [7:30p.m]
Kyle: And you have a wife but that's never stopped us before. [7:45p.m]
Richard: I meant what I said earlier. We need to stop seeing each other. [7:48p.m]
Kyle: Lol now that's hilarious. Who are you trying to fool? [7:49p.m]
Kyle: I do things to you that that prude of a wife of yours wouldn't dare try... You don't want to let this go just as much as I don't so I'll see you tonight at our regular time [7:50p.m]
Richard: I'm serious... [8:30p.m]
Tears began to gather in her eyelids. She couldn't read anymore. Without hesitation, she returned his phone back to its original place. She was livid, but underneath that emotion lie the realization that, as of the previous night, she had been unfaithful to him as well. Could she really be upset?
Squeaking followed by the cease of water flow signaled the end of the shower. She braced herself quickly, making it seem like she'd just woken up. Richard wasn't expecting to see her wide awake. For a moment he'd froze in his spot, half naked with the towel hanging around his waist.
In the beginning of their romance, this would've had Corrine salivating and hungry with lust. Now, it did nothing but cause a twinge pain as she'd caught a glimpse of a not so subtle love bite. Its presence mocked her as it peeked above the towel which unsuccessfully served as a cover.
"Good morning," he finally broke the silence. He tried easing the tension by offering a smile and walking to her and placing a tender kiss on her forehead. Inwardly, she cringed knowing that those lips had been on another.
As much as she wanted to let this go because she, too, had her own messy bed to lie in, the texts from Kyle bothered her to the core. "Where were you?" The words slipped out before she had the chance to stop them.
"I ended up having to meet up with Bleu to discuss a few business matters and went out for drinks with Connor and Kyle. I was way too drunk to drive home so I crashed at Connor's. I should've called you, I know, and I'm sorry." His eyes were genuine and pleading for her to believe in him, but the love bite spoke for itself.
Had she not snooped and read the texts from Kyle she would've fell for it. Instead of starting a fight, she leaned into his hold as he nuzzled her neck. She'd missed the relationship they'd once had before shit went south. Silence swept the room. Corrine was taken back to when he'd cherished her as if she was a priceless gem; when he made her insecurities disappear with a simple kiss; when he made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the world in his eyes.
"Don't let it happen again, Morrison." She was willing to try to get back to that point.
After all, a marriage only dies when you stop trying.
******
Past
Friday, November 27, 2012
7:00p.m
Healing couldn't begin until communication did. The damage and its causes need to be acknowledged so that solutions could be found and steps towards forgiveness can be initiated. Corrine and Richard sat across from each other in the bedroom; she sat on the edge of the bed while he sat in a chair placed in the corner right next to the door. Puffy, red eyes and lumped throats filled the the room as Richard had finished confessing his infidelities to his heartbroken wife. "None of them meant anything to me."
"Then why? Am I not enough? What is it about me that pushed you into the beds of those women?" Corrine stole a glance at herself in the mirror. She knew that she was attractive. That wasn't an area she ever felt she needed validation in. One quality that Dionne, her mother, made sure Corrine had was confidence. Another was intelligence. Corrine knew she was armed with smarts, hell people paid her good money because of it. All of that wasn't enough to keep Richard from straying.
Silence.
"I don't want to lose you. I love you more than anything in this world,"
"Then why?!" Hot, angry tears fell one after the other. Her insecurity lye in the fact that none of the women were black. Would she have felt better if they were? Not at all, but at least she would know that her race wasn't the reason why Richard couldn't be satisfied with this world that she wanted to share with him.
"Honestly, I can't give you a clear answer. Maybe it was the feeling of being able to get away with it, I don't know. I do know that losing you is something I can't handle. I can and will change for you as long as you stay with me. What ever you want I will do." Richard answered earnestly after watching her come to different conclusions in her own mind. He didn't want her to break herself down more than he already had.
"I will definitely be holding you to your word. Consider yourself on probation. If you fuck up this time around, you might as well start looking for divorce lawyers."
Although Richard had confessed his sins, Corrine decided that hers was a secret worth keeping. Men and their egos were a game which she wanted no parts of. She wasn't aware that she'd already begun playing.
*****
Short and boring I know but it's needed for the story.