*Ashley's P.O.V.*
You know, it is getting really irritating being here the same as Andy, especially when you have someone like Kellin all over him. Kellin never really liked me in high school, especially when he was the first to find out that I was gay. He held that against me for the longest, even threatened to tell everyone at our school. I know I'm making a big deal about it and all, but that's only because it wasn't socially acceptable during the time we were in high school. The thing that I don't really understand is that if Kellin knew he'd lose everything when he came out, why not bring someone down with him?
He stood there close to Andy and Vic and it was like high school all over again, except the girls back then were now these guys. I hated the fact that Andy was close to Kellin and if we were still together, then I'd have him here by me and that would just tear Kellin to pieces. It would kill him so much inside and that's what I want, I want him to hate me as much as I hated him all those years. And that's what I wanted from him right now, and I knew that it could happen obviously. Andy chose to go with me even though Kellin came out first and they had been best friends. Andy proposed to me, even married me and all those firsts that came with me and him, Kellin would never get them.
Kellin would always fall under second place against me in Andy's heart. It was just something I was so sure of and the reason being is because at this very moment, Andy has two choices. He has the choice to look at Kellin and talk to Kellin, or he could be standing there, looking at me and watching me with careful eyes. He's been seeming to watch me, even when I think he wouldn't be, and why is that? Especially when Kellin's hanging around him all the time. Kellin has always wanted something that wasn't his, that belonged to someone else, and that's why he's so destined to stay near Andy. It makes you wonder who Vic belonged to before Kellin even got with him.
I watched Andy watch me and it was slightly uncomfortable to endure, especially when it was cold, but they were still debating on whether or not we should go in the house. I sighed and looked around the crowd, holding on to my cold body before I went out of the middle of the crowd and around it. I went into the large house and looked around the threshold, debating with myself internally and then deciding this is what I wanted before I walked further in. I saw my bags that were still stationed by the staircase and that's where I went, opening my suitcase and looking for some warmer clothes. I could hear everyone else mumble before coming in also, and I felt a small touch on my shoulder. I turned around, seeing Andy kneel down beside me with a slight smile and looked down at his hands before looking at me.
"Um, I kind of brought a few of my sweatshirts if you want one." He told me and I thought about it, looking into his eyes and then happening to see Kellin looking at us. I pretended not to see him though and let out a small smile and nodded a little, zipping up my suitcase.
"Uh, yeah. That would be nice." I told him and he smiled, standing up and holding his hand out to me and taking me over to his suitcase. I bent down and watched him dig throughout his suitcase and wait for him to take it out. It seemed to be taking him a while, but eventually he pulled it out and I gladly took it.
"Uh, thanks." I said, smiling a little and standing up straight. He smiled and nodded.
"No problem." He said and watched me as I slowly backed away and left, and I had a feeling he was still looking at me. I bent down to get my bathroom necessities and turned to see him looking at me with an adoring smile and I shook my head to hide and cover my blushes. I turned around, seeing Balz come into the house with Hannah, and she was wearing Oliver's jacket, looking around inside. Hannah came over to me, standing there slightly scared.
"Have you seen Oliver?" She asked and I shook my head, starting to look around, the same as her before the door opened. Oliver came in and she ran towards him, throwing her arms around him. "I thought something happened to you." She said.
"No, I told you I was going to look for my phone." He said and she pulled a phone from the jacket and showed him.
"I tried to tell you it was in here, I even went to look for you." She said and he took it.
"Oh, I must have missed it. But I ended up finding this cute bunny rabbit and I tried to catch it for you, but it went into its burrow." He told her and she smiled, leaning in and kissing him.
"It's okay, we can get one when we get home." She told him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I've got first pick of the bedrooms." Brendon announced and I looked to see him heading towards the stairs.
I turned my attention back to Oliver and Hannah and was mildly disgusted by the sight in front of me, not really in the mood to watch someone in a heated make out session. I decided to go ahead and go upstairs, turning towards them and seeing Brendon going up them and I followed. I climbed up the stairs, him halfway up and i looked down at Andy who was watching me with a small smile and I turned my head from him, shyly.
"Ashley!" Andy screamed and I already felt my body being pushed to the side of the wall and I watched Brendon's body fall down and crash on the floor.
I stood against the wall, slightly shaking and looking down at him as he laid there with a bone sticking at the skin on his neck, one of his legs stretched out behind him, and his arm twisted. I couldn't breathe, more like I couldn't control my breathing, at least not right now I couldn't. I looked up at the stairs and then down at Brendon and couldn't help but think that if his body would have rolled underneath me, I would have been laying like that too. I started to look around at everyone who was looking at Brendon and I saw one set of eyes lock on me, Andy's. He moved from near Juliet and Gerard and made his way to the staircase, passing the body and coming up to hug me and hold me in his arms. I didn't notice that my body had been shaking until Andy tried to keep me still and it just had to be the worst experience I've ever had. I tried to move from his body, trying to leave and he held me tighter, rubbing my back and I tried to push away harder.
"L-let me go." I warned him and he shook his head.
"No, what are you going to do?" He asked and I pushed him back against the staircase wall and he let go, allowing me to run down the stairs. I went to my suitcase and repacked all my things, making them fit inside and then picked it up.
"Where are you going?" Chris asked me and just as I reached the door, Josh Franny came in and I moved past him.
"Ashley!" I heard Andy say and I felt him take my arm as I started near the cars. "What do you think you're doing?" He asked and I tried to pull my arm away.
"I'm going to sleep in the car with Ronnie, or by myself." I told him, pushing him away from me and he grabbed ahold of my shoulders, turning me towards him.
"Hey, hey. Calm down." He spoke softly and I felt myself start to choke up and I shook my head, looking down at the ground.
"How the h.ell do you expect me to be calm when someone just died in front of me Andrew?!" I yelled at him slightly and tried to move past him, but he blocked my way.
"No, okay, look. I know it's kind of traumatic, but you're going to get through it. I'll make sure of that." He said and I chuckled, shaking my head.
"Oh, so you choose now to be there for me?" I asked and he looked a little taken aback. "So when we wanted a child, and we were so close to having one and lost it, you were there for me. Am I right?" I asked and he looked shocked and didn't say anything. I scoffed and pushed past him, going to my car and opening the door, getting in and placing my suitcase in the front seat.
I could see Andy in the rearview mirror looking at the car and I saw he was thinking about coming to the car, and I really didn't want him to. I was so angry at him, like just the little things he did would irritate me, and you want to know why, because when it matters most, he's not there. For 8 months, 8, we had planned on having a child, we hired a surrogate and everything. We were so ready to be parents, me more than anything, we had the room set up, the clothes, everything. We had allowed Taylor to live with us the entire pregnancy, which we thought would be best. I was so excited, just a few more weeks until the baby was ready, and just about 3 weeks ago, we got a call from Taylor, a surrogate, that she was bleeding. We were of course at work, and I came home, but Andy wasn't even there. At the hospital, they told us that she was experiencing a miscarriage, and that there was nothing they could do about the baby.
I cried for days, the only comfort he ever gave was that we could try again, or try to get me into bed, he couldn't truly grasp onto the idea of how much it meant to me. It would have been our first born. He didn't seem to care though, and he'd just think that it was just a small depression that would pass over. He was a counselor for f.ucks sake and he thought it was just a small depression. No, no that wasn't the problem, it was that he didn't actually care was the problem. He didn't care, he's showed it plenty of times, not just the pregnancy. When I was injured by being thrown off a horse at work, I was home for 3 months with a broken arm. But as long as he had someone home when he got there, to f.uck them as much as he wanted, he didn't care the least bit.
I watched him still through my rearview mirror and he was still debating before he started towards the car. I sighed and laid the seat back and closed my eyes, locking the door in the process. I heard him pull on the door handle, but it wouldn't budge or allow him in, and that's what I wanted. Next was a knock on the window and I didn't help him, but then there it was again, louder and I turned to look at the window, opening my eyes. He stood there, looking down at me and holding his arms slightly and then motioned for me to roll down the window. I turned the car on and did so, having the hot air mix with the cool night air.
"What?" I asked and he looked at me, his lip shivering slightly.
"Ash, come back in the house." He said and I shook my head, getting irritated.
"No! Andy, we've had 3 people die tonight, I'd rather stay in my car and sleep. I don't know what's going on, but I want to get back home." I told him simply and started to roll the window up before he stuck his hand inside and I stopped before I rolled his hand up with it.
"Look, I've told you I was going to be there for you, and I meant that. Until death do us part." He said and I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, until death do us part, but you couldn't even be there for me when we lost our baby." I said in disgust, looking at him and his demeanor changed.
"I tri-"
"No, Andy. No you didn't. You went to work, you came home, and you loved seeing me there. Not once did you see what I was going through or checking on me." I told him softly and went to roll the window up again, but he put his hand in the way again.
"Ashley, I did. Whenever I came home to see you, you didn't let me in. You closed me out, and when I touched you, you seemed to fold into my arms. That seemed to be the only thing I could do to help you. And the only affection you would show me was when you cuddled into my arms, and just lay there. I'd watch you lay there and sleep, and every night I'd watch over you." He said and I watched him start to clench his jaw. "So don't you ever say that I wasn't there. I was, every night, losing sleep to watch you, then regretting going to work because I was scared of what you would do while I was gone. I'd rest and sleep on my lunch breaks sometimes, and it wouldn't be long before I had to do my job or come home to you." He said and I couldn't help myself as I started to cry a little, looking up into his eyes that were more annoyed than anything. "Don't say I wasn't there or didn't care." He said and I nodded, wiping my eyes and looking at him.
"I'm sorry." I whispered softly, I almost wasn't even able to hear myself.
"Get out, and come back in the house." He said demandingly, ignoring my apology, and I wasn't going to go, I didn't want to. "Please?" He begged a little and I nodded, sighing and turning the car off.
I took the keys out and put them in Andy's front pocket of his sweat shirt I was wearing and grabbed my suitcase. I unlocked the doors and he opened the door, reaching his hand out to me and I slowly took it. Allowing him to pull me from the car and close the door before guiding me to the house. He took my suitcase, holding it for me and caressing my hand as we approached the house. I didn't want to go in, especially not with the few people that were crowding around Brendon, and I guess Andy noticed that. When we went inside, we walked over to the side of the house where his suitcase was and stood by Kellin and Vic. I was listening to the crying of some of the girls and the guys trying to soothe them and I saw Chris and Ricky trying to pick him up.
"I'm glad that f.ucking a.sshole is dead." Kellin muttered under his breath and smirked.
"You know, you're such a dick! Getting pleasure out of someone dying." I scolded him and he shrugged.
"Well, sometimes people deserve what's coming to them. And boy, did he have it coming." He said with a laugh and I reached out to punch him, but Andy grabbed my hand.
"Calm down." He said and I snatched my hand away from him and rolled my eyes.
"You know Quinn. If anyone deserved to die, honestly it should have been you." I told him and moved myself from Andy before getting ready to go back outside.
"Hey, where are you going?" Andy asked, taking me by the arm and pulling me back.
"I'm going back outside, I don't want to be near him." I said and looked to see Kellin with a big cheeky grin on his face. He turned to Vic who looked slightly unimpressed, like he was use to Kellin's words and actions. They kissed and Kellin's smile got bigger and I rolled my eyes and tried to pull away from Andy again.
"You're not going anywhere." He said and took me by the wrist, spinning me around and had me in some type of lock. My arms were crossed over my chest and he was holding on to me somewhat tightly. My back was to him and he was laying his head on my shoulders and I tried to pull away, but I couldn't even budge. "Look, I know you don't want to be near him or the body, but we just have to wait. They'll take the body outside and tomorrow we'll bury all three of them and we'll find a way to get home. Okay?" He asked and I nodded.
"But, what if someone else dies? I mean, you said so yourself someone caused the explosion." I told him, trying to looking back at him and he nodded.
"That, they did. But the others had to be just accidents. Someone just probably wants us to stay, but didn't know that some of the people would die." He said and I tried to break free again and his hold tightened.
"Andy, we're going to die aren't we?" I asked, scared as hell. Especially at the thought of something like what happened to Brendon happening to me.
"No, we're not." He said sternly and I heard him take a deep breath. "Those were just accidents. A tree went through Tyler, no human being can do that. A random rock hit Jack in the back of the head. For all we know, a bird could have had it and Jack bent over and the bird let go of the rock and it fell. Brendon, you saw what happened to him, no one touched him. He just....... fell." He finished and I thought about it and he could be right, but there was still some skepticism there.
"You know, I never got to smear his blood on everything." Kellin let the impulsive remark flow, and I tried to shake free of Andy but he just wouldn't let me budge.
"Hey Kells, I think that's enough." Vic said to him, making him laugh.
"You're lucky you're cute." Kellin said and patted his face and looked towards Brendon's body. "I think I'm going to ask them to bury his body and I'll just chop his head off and put it on a stick. Like a puppet, and make it talk." Kellin laughed and Vic hit him, but it only made him laugh more. "Babe, don't get too butthurt." He told Vic and Vic shook his head disappointedly, letting go of Kellin and going to see about the body.
"You know, you really are a dick sometimes." Andy commented and Kellin looked surprised.
"Now, if that would have been me, everyone here, including your little boyfriend would have enjoyed mutilating my body or something." He said with a scoff and I shrugged but Andy shook his head.
"Kellin, some people have matured enough or have enough respect as to not do those things." Andy said simply and Kellin grew silent, knowing what he had done, but only because Andy pointed it out.
"Yeah, whatever." Kellin said and went to his suitcases, taking them over towards the door and sitting down against the wall.
I watched him take a book out and start reading it, and it seemed really shocking to me. I've never seen Kellin read before, he's never wanted to read, but I guess since he's a teacher he has to now. I watched him, seeing him flip the page and bite his lip as he quickly wiped his face and I felt bad for him. Kellin had matured actually, it just seemed that we all thought we were better than him and he held it against us. I looked up at Andy to see him watching Kellin too and it just, it was the acknowledgement that I knew something was up. Like the sense of it, as much as we've talked about Kellin, and have been mean to him, Vic even walked away. But the moment that Andy said something to him about it, that was when it seemed to affect him the most.
"Can you let me go now?" I asked Andy and he shook his head, thinking and then shaking it again.
"If i let you go, you'll hurt me or run from me, and I'd rather you not." He told me and I nodded, sighing in defeat and feeling him try to keep his grip on me.
It felt like we had been standing here for a while, just watching the guys pick Brendon up and carry him outside. I was sure that Kellin would get up and attempt to go look at his body, but he didn't move. He stayed where he was, and as a matter of fact, didn't even look up from his book. I felt slight sympathy for him, but when Andy started to make us sway slowly from side to side, it disappeared. I smiled softly and looked over to him laying on my shoulder and he leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back at first, but moved my head to the side and heard him let out a sigh. I wasn't planning on getting back with Andy any time soon, even if he did explain that he tried to be there for me, I just couldn't. I felt his grip loosen and I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't allow it.
"Ashley, why are you really mad at me? Huh?" He asked and I shrugged and attempted to pull away again, but failed.
"Y-you just, you're you." I said and he didn't seem to buy it, waiting for me to finish. "You're just, you don't seem to care much. Like besides the pregnancy, you seemed to do the same thing when I was injured. Like, you just, it only seems like you need me for one thing now."
"Ashley, I need you for everything but that. I need you to be the father to my children, my wonderful and loving husband. I need you to be there at night when you're sleeping so I can hold you and make sure that you're okay. Every since I've left the house, I haven't been able to counsel well, I only got to come here because they said I either needed to take a vacation or they would fire me." He said, and I looked back at him in shock.
"H-how come you didn't tell me?" I asked and he chuckled.
"Can't really do that when you change your number." He said and I nodded, remembering.
"I'm sorry." I told him and he smiled and laid against my face some.
"It's okay. I mean, maybe this is why we both came on this trip. Maybe it's like destiny that we both be here, to help us get back together." He said hopefully and I smiled, and tried to pull away again, but he wouldn't let me.
"Can you let me go, please?" I asked, trying to break free again.
"No, why?"
"I want to kiss you properly you idiot." I told him, pulling again and feeling him let go, almost making me fall. He helped me to rebalance myself and I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he leaned down and kissed me, but only for a little bit. He pulled away and I poured a little because I wanted so much more.
"So, does this mean there is a chance that you will be mine again? And we won't get the divorce?" He asked more hopefully and excited and I shrugged, humming.
"Ummmmm, maybe. It depends on how you act when we get home." I told him and he nodded, smiling and pulling me in to kiss him again.
I smiled harder and wrapped my arms around his neck tighter and he turned us around slightly and I pulled away, seeing him blush a little and bury his face in my neck. I laughed and looked past him, seeing that now Kellin was looking at the both of us, and looked like he had just lost his mom or something. Andy lifted his head up from my neck and I watched Kellin look at his book as Vic approached him, giving him a kiss on the lips and he plastered a fake smile on his face. I win.