Hey guys! Thank you for waiting in between my exams, I only have one left now. I hope you enjoy the chapter. After this one there should only be a few left.
Photo: Noah
Song: Skinny Love, by Birdy
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Leaning against the back of the chair, I rubbed my eyes and brushed the hair away from my forehead. My eyes were sore and my whole body ached. I had been sat in the chair at his bedside for hours, never letting go of Noah's hand. I had to make sure that he knew I was there. In some wishful way, I hoped maybe it would help him wake up but there had been no change. He still hadn't moved and every minute that passed by, my fear for him grew.
Looking across the bed, I saw Dean and Jen sitting next to each other. Jen was fast asleep against his shoulder, and I couldn't blame her. Truthfully, I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and escape for a little while. But as soon as I tried, Pete flashed through my mind and the fear overtook me. So I didn't go to sleep. And I didn't dream. I just held on to Noah's hand, willing him to wake up and look at me. Dean had refused to leave, instead he just sat by Noah's bedside and stared down at him, a vacant look in his eyes.
I could tell he was trying to be strong, trying to keep himself composed but he wasn't fooling anyone. Every now and then, I would catch him wiping away his tears or reaching out to Noah, before he'd pull his hand back and his expression returned to one of hiding the emotion; a blank stare. As I stroked Noah's palm and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the mechanical whirring of the machines that seemed to pierce the silence of the room, the door opened and the doctor from before stepped in, an apologetic look on his face.
"I'm sorry to disturb you," he said, glancing at the bed towards Noah. "But it's way past visiting hours. It's against policy for you to stay here any longer."
His words sent dread through me, and I felt my heart beat increase. It was pure fear, thinking about leaving Noah's side which I just couldn't do. I shook my head and got off the chair just as Dean shook Jen awake and stood up. I walked over to the doctor and stood directly in front of him. "I'm not leaving," I said, looking over my shoulder as Jen and Dean stepped up behind me. "Please, I can't. I have to be here when he wakes up."
"Come on doc," Dean said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "He can't be here on his own. He needs somebody here."
I could see the doctor considering it, so I placed my hand on his arm and stared at him. "Please," I whispered, feeling the tears stinging the back of my eyes.
He placed his hand on mine and smiled gently. "I shouldn't, but I guess I'm going to have to make an exception aren't I? Because somehow, I have a feeling that you're not going to leave."
"You're right," I said. "I'm not leaving. You'll have to get security to drag me out and even then I would find my way back to him."
"Ok, I understand but only one of you can stay. I'm bending the rules enough as it is without all three of you staying overnight. And you," he said, pointing towards Jen. "You need to go home and get some rest. After a head wound you need to take it easy and ideally, you shouldn't be alone."
"I'll go with her," Dean said, wrapping his arm around her waist protectively. "You'll stay with me tonight."
"Thanks," Jen said, panic running through her words. "I can't go back to the apartment. I just can't go there. Not after...."
"It's probably still a crime scene," I muttered absent mindedly, glancing over my shoulder at Noah, still lying in the bed. Unmoving. Every time I looked at him my heart sank, my mind refusing to accept that there was a good chance he would never wake up.
The doctor stood to the side as I hugged Jen goodbye, burying my face in her hair as she clung to me. The thought that I had almost lost her too was still at the back of my mind. She had been my friend since I was a child, and she had always looked out for me, even from my father. Holding back the tears, I let go of her and stroked her hair, careful of the bandage on her forehead.
"Be safe," I smiled sadly, as she placed her hand over mine. "Just make sure you're safe."
Jen just nodded and stepped back, looking at the floor. I wrapped my arms around Dean as he hugged me close. "I'll make sure she's safe," he whispered in to my ear, giving me some comfort. "And please ring me if anything happens. Anything at all, and I'll be here in minutes, ok? Jen and I will bring you some stuff tomorrow, new clothes and things."
"I will," I promised, watching as they walked through the door and disappeared from sight.
I was truly on my own, and I had never been more scared. The room felt empty and the mechanical noises from the machines seemed to intensify, giving me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Longing for Noah, I turned around and strode over to him. I took his hand in mine and leant down, kissing him lightly on the forehead. I couldn't help but smile as my mind drifted back to the first time I had kissed him, how he had come back with some snarky comment but at the same time had completely gotten under my skin. But as the beeping of the heart monitor pierced through my memory, my smile slowly faded away and the reality crashed down on me again.
I tried my hardest to be strong. But I was an instant away from falling apart. Just as I was about to take a seat, I looked up and found that the doctor was leaning against the far wall, a sad look on his face. "I didn't realise you were still here," I cried, wiping my eyes as the tears began to fall once more.
"He's a good man," he said softly walking over, his eyes on Noah. "I know what he did. How he got stabbed."
"How?"
"The Police," he said, glancing up at me. "They arrived a while ago but I told them to give you a while. They're waiting outside to talk to you...that's why I came in."
"I don't want to talk to them," I said, raising my voice as denial ran through me. "I just want to forget it ever happened. I want to stay here with Noah and wait for him to wake up. I just want to be with him here, when he opens his eyes."
"You can't forget it," the doctor said, reaching out and inspecting Noah's chart. "You need to talk to them, if you don't the man who did this could get away with it. And you know that can't happen."
I knew he was right. There was nothing that I wanted more than to see Pete punished for what he did, so with one last look at Noah, I let go of his hand and walked out the door. My hands were trembling and my knees felt weak as I saw two police officers standing a few feet down the corridor. One of them turned to me as I approached and shouldered his partner. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm down my heart which was beating erratically, but I couldn't. I just wanted to get it done with quickly so I could go back to Noah. My place was next to him until he woke up.
"We're very sorry miss," one of them said, a look of compassion in his eyes. "But what you're boyfriend did, it was a brave thing. It's a shame it ended the way it did."
I just nodded, too emotionally drained to find any comfort in his words. It felt like I had a lump in my throat, and I couldn't find anything to say so I just stood there, waiting. "We've just come to take your statement," the other officer said, pulling out a small notebook and a black Biro. "We got your room mates when she was getting transported to this hospital by the officers who were at the scene. We just need yours."
"This is why you called me away from Noah? For some stupid - "
"We need your statement miss," he pressed, taking a step forward.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I took a step back and looked at the floor. He sensed what he had done and stepped back, an apologetic look in his eyes. Being so close to a stranger was something I couldn't do anymore, at least not yet. Everytime someone got too close, fear gripped me. And I hated Pete for it. I hated him for everything. "We have enough evidence already," he said, "Although your statement is vital."
"What evidence?" I whispered, looking up at him.
He frowned at me and bit his lip, wondering if he should tell me. But his partner stepped forward slightly and sighed. "The locker at his place of work was filled with pictures of you. There was a digital camera in the locker and that also filled with hundreds of pictures. But it was his apartment that was the most disturbing. An entire wall was covered with pictures of you, going back for months. We found a receipt which shows he purchased rope and a hunting knife two days ago, the same rope he tied your hands together with and the same knife your boyfriend was stabbed with. We think he's been following you for a while..."
His voice faded away as I took in everything. I could feel the tears falling down my face but I didn't even try to wipe them away. At that point, I didn't even know what I was feeling. The only thing I knew was that the only way I could feel safe was with Noah. I had to get back to him. So taking a deep breath and wiping away the tears, I told them what happened.
I told them everything.
After they took the statement, I turned and walked back in to Noah's room, not willing to be away from him any longer. As my eyes scanned the room, I realised that the doctor was gone, and Noah and I were alone. Outside, the night was coming and the darkness penetrated the room, making it seem even more empty. Walking over, I took the seat facing the door and sat down, reaching out to brush the hair away from Noah's forehead.
"You know, it's about you wake up now college boy," I whispered, trying to hold back the tears and the feeling of hopelessness. "I don't know how to be without you."
And just like that, the damn broke and I was back exactly where I had been hours ago. Sobbing at his bedside as the machines echoed through the empty space and the darkening room. "Remember we promised to take JJ swimming," I sobbed, closing my eyes as I pressed my forehead against the bed. "We can't lose you. Just wake up Noah. Please."
Nothing. He didn't move. It was then that I was truly afraid, sitting alone in the room as the memories came flooding back. The only thing I could see was Noah's eyes closing as I held him.
And I prayed that wouldn't be the last time that I would see them.
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*5 hours later*
I was curled up in the chair under a blanket. A nurse had come in to the room a while ago and handed it to me, saying that she was sorry about Noah, like he was already gone. I wanted to climb on to the bed and curl up against him, just be close to him but I knew I couldn't. So I settled for just being near him, to be there when he opened his eyes and looked at me. Sighing, I turned over and threw the blanket to the floor. My eyes felt like sand, but there was no way I could fall asleep. I was too afraid to close my eyes.
My head snapped up to the closed door when I heard frantic voices outside. "We're going in!" Someone shouted loudly.
Getting up, I started to walk over to it but the door suddenly flew open and my eyes widened when I saw Noah's mother run in to the room, with Pierce and JJ following behind. I stepped back until I was against the far wall and put my hand over my mouth, trying to stop the sobs as I watched them all. Julie was crying as she took hold of his hand, a look of confusion in her eyes. I could see Noah's father trying to hold back the tears. But it wasn't working, they streamed down his face as he clung on to JJ.
"Not my beautiful boy," Julie whispered, taking hold of Pierce's hand as he reached out to her. She clung on to him desperately and wiped her eyes. "I can't lose him. A parent isn't supposed to live beyond their child."
I just stood there as Pierce lowered JJ to the floor. It broke my heart as JJ stood on tiptoes and reached out, shaking Noah's arm. "Wake up," he cried, tears streaming down his face. "You have to wake up. I told Sammy you'd be okay. And we have to stick stars in my bedroom. You promised."
"Why isn't he waking up?" JJ sobbed, looking up at his father.
He knelt in front of JJ, cupping his face in his hands tenderly. "He's just dreaming son. He'll wake up soon."
Taking a deep breath, I wiped my eyes and took a small step out of the shadows, willing myself to talk to them. To tell them how sorry I was. How it was all my fault and how I'd give anything to be able to switch places with him. But I couldn't. I couldn't say anything as they looked towards me, just realising that I was in the room. The tears dampened my cheeks as I met Julie's eyes and I shook my head, wiping the tears away. I blamed myself, so I expected them too. Noah was in the hospital because of me, and he was fighting for his life because he chose to save me.
"I'm - I'm so, s-sorry," I cried, sobs wracking my entire body as they all stared at me.
There was a deafening silence in the room but all of a sudden JJ bolted from next to his father and launched himself at me. I scooped him in to my arms and held him as close as I could as he cried in to my shoulder, his tears dampening my shirt. I placed my hand on the back of his head, stoking his hair gently as he sobbed. "I'm sorry JJ," I whispered, looking over his shoulder.
My eyes never left Noah's parents as they both stepped towards me. I was afraid, that they'd blame me for Noah. But I was caught off guard when Julie wrapped her arms JJ and I. And I was lost for words as Pierce came over and put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it lightly.
"I'm sorry," I whispered again, looking at Julie. "I told him not to come for me. I didn't want him to. It's all my fault. But he came anyway. He got in the way and - "
I couldn't finish my sentence as more tears started to flow, and I hugged JJ tightly, trying to find some comfort at being surrounded by Noah's family. Julie looked at me and smiled sadly, her eyes brimming with tears.
"It's not your fault Lily," she said gently. "Dean told us what happened. Noah chose to save you, and I'm glad you're ok. Don't ever blame yourself. I'm sure if Noah got a second chance, he would make the same choice again."
I blinked away the tears as Julie took JJ from my arms and walked over to Noah's bedside without saying another thing. Her words ran through my mind and I realised that they didn't blame me. I wiped my eyes again when a hand suddenly went on my shoulder. Crying out, I span around and came face to face with Noah's father. He saw the panic in my eyes and took his hand away.
"I'm sorry, Lily," he muttered, putting his hand down by his side. "I didn't mean to frighten you. But I wanted to ask about the man who did this. What's his name?"
"I don't think - "
"What's his damned name?" He growled, running his hand through his hair as his eyes welled up. I took a step back, the rage in his voice scaring me. I had never heard such anger before, from such a gentle man. "Oh God Lily, I'm sorry," he said again. "I just need to understand why my son is lying in a hospital bed in a coma. I can't even..." He trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words.
"You're son saved me. I owe him my life," I said quietly.
Before I could say anything else, Noah's father stepped forward and embraced me, hugging me hard. Feeling myself welling up again, I clung on to him. He smelled like Noah, and I breathed in the scent. It sent an ache through my heart. After a minute, I stepped back and he dropped his arms. I watched as he smiled sadly at me and went back over to his wife and son, who were sat beside Noah's bed, holding his hand like I had been doing only moments before.
"I'll be back in a minute," I said, walking over to the door before they had a chance to say anything else.
Slowly, I walked through the hospital and out in to the courtyard. It was a place for visitors and patients to sit together outside. But it was empty now, the night coming. I walked over to one of the benches and sat down, ignoring the breeze that fluttered by, sending goosebumps up my skin. The leaves of the bushes rustled but apart from that, it was quiet. Silent. I leant back and looked up at the sky, my eyes finding the stars. It was like being on the rooftop, when Noah had pulled me on to his lap after I had sung to him for the first time. I remembered telling him about my father and he didn't judge me. He just held me as I cried. Glancing over I stared at the space beside me, where Noah should have been but it was empty, just like I was.
I knew it though. He had to wake up. But in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think of the possibilty that he could just slip away. Closing my eyes, I fought the tears and hugged myself as the wind whipped around me.
All I could do, was hope. And wait.