Chapter Sixteen
She should have called, Sammy thought as she marched into the hotel reception. She had no idea if he was still here, no one would reveal his room number, and she had very little chance of actually finding him. She shifted Eleanor to her other hip, Corinne had offered to babysit, but her daughter wasn't a burden and she was spending far too much time away from her lately, unnecessarily. Luckily she recognised the woman stood behind the reception desk of the hotel. She'd been in college with the girl Stacey's sister. She could only hope that familiarity would win over protocol.
"Hey Stacey, how are you?"
The other woman smiled, "Sammy! I hear you're back in town. How are you?" She spotted the moment that Stacey's face dropped as she remembered exactly why Sammy had come back to town. "Sorry," she murmured.
Sammy smiled, "it's ok, I'm getting used to being a widow Stacey. I'm...err...looking for a friend who's checked in here, Joel Edwards?"
Stacey winked, "tall, dark and good looking? I know EXACTLY who you're talking about."
Tall, dark, she mentally ticked those two boxes, but good looking? She'd never thought of Joel as that, he was kind, he was friendly...and he wasn't repulsive, that was for sure, but she'd only ever had eyes for Marcus.
Still smiling she nodded, "that's him. Could you tell me what room he's in?"
"Well that's against protocol Sammy, but that doesn't matter as he's in the bar. He spoke to me just half an hour ago."
Sammy gave what she hoped was a dazzling grin, then made for the bar. She had no idea what she was going to say to him, how did you apologise for repeatedly misjudging someone? Then there was the fact that he'd paid her a salary, a ridiculous one for months. He couldn't afford that, no one could. She'd gone mad over the apartment, but that hadn't been hers either. Joel had done everything he could to make her life easier. And she'd repaid him by screaming at him. Saying that, he had to start being honest with her, she was a big girl, and frankly nothing could be worse that the news the police brought to her door eighteen months earlier.
He was sat at a small round table in the corner of the room, a laptop open in front of him, a bottle of wine next to it. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a fine knit sweater, he'd been in a suit earlier, and Sammy couldn't remember NOT seeing him in anything less. She remembered Stacey's words about Joel. Handsome? She smiled at the barman.
"Could I have a wineglass please?"
As he handed her one, she nodded in the direction of Joel, non-verbally explaining that she would be sharing the bottle that he had. A little presumptuous maybe, but she had one shot at this. As she waited for the glass she studied him, still bent over the computer his eyes scanning the screen. She'd never thought of him as anything other 'Just Joel', but Stacey had a point, his dark hair was short, but as usual in a perfect style, his jaw was strong, his cheekbones angled, and his lips were full, soft looking. She shouldn't think like that, shouldn't imagine what it would be like to touch them.
Taking the glass gratefully she crossed the room and stopped in front of the table, it was another moment before Joel realised someone was there, he glanced up and his eyes clouded over in confusion at the sight of her, then his eyes moved to Eleanor and he smiled.
"Wow! She's grown...quite the little lady!"
Sammy nodded, "almost walking, causing chaos everywhere." She lowered herself into the seat opposite him as he closed the lid on his laptop. "I'm so glad I found you. I owe you like a million apologies; I'm just hoping that you'll accept that."
He reached across the table and half filled her glass, "take a lot more than that."
She sighed, "but seriously, we have to talk...about everything."
Joel hated that thought. When they talked they argued. He'd much rather sit and coo at his best mate's daughter than discuss the biggest mess he'd ever had to deal with. He watched as Sammy opened her bag and pulled out a cup of juice, some plastic toy keys and a light up kid's phone. Eleanor reached for the keys and started to chew on one as she looked up at Joel with eyes that were the photo image of her father's.
"You like those?" he reached over and tickled her cheek with his finger and she responded with a gurgling giggle. "She was a baby last time I saw her."
Sammy smiled as she reached for the glass he'd poured wine into, "it's frightening how quickly she's growing."
He reached for his glass and he knew his fingers were shaking, it was ridiculous to be so nervous, "I'm sorry, you know...about it all."
She stroked Eleanor's head tucking her blonde curls behind her ears, then looked back up at him, "I see what you're doing...why you're doing it. I just..." She dropped her eyes for a moment, he could see her take a deep breath, "you were supporting me...money...I didn't know."
He grimaced, he hadn't wanted her to know that, he'd hoped that they could reclaim money, that he could discover an insurance policy that Marcus had taken out, and he was running out of options, he hated that she'd be left high and dry...but then he hadn't helped by not letting her know six months ago that things were extremely tight. He'd pretended that it was all good.
"It wasn't my best move; I just wanted to make it right."
She smiled a genuine smile, "and I have to thank you for that. Daniel tried to make out that it was because you were chasing me, that you wanted everything that Marcus had. But it wasn't that, you were trying to honour his memory, for me...and for Eleanor." She kissed the top of her daughter's head, "and I can't believe you could do that, take a huge financial hit, just to keep me happy. No one is that selfless Joel, no one is that nice."
He sat back in his chair and watched her for a moment, "I was nothing, I was sad, I was disillusioned and more importantly I was bullied as a ten year old. If I'd have died then, I honestly wouldn't have cared, my parents had died, my uncle thought of me as nothing more than a nuisance...and then suddenly Marcus stepped in, helping me beat up my nemesis, physically, and mentally. He made me want to live, he was everything to me, brother, cousin, best friend all-in-one, I loved him more than anything. You have to realise I have nothing without him." This was harder than he imagined it would be, speaking about this, but it had ripped him to shreds for an age. He needed to share all that had happened, he knew that. But it was harder than he'd imagined.
Taking a slug of wine he took a second to compose himself, "I wasn't there for him Sammy, I didn't know what had happened, I didn't know all that Daniel was up to."
"Neither did I," she interjected.
"He was my BEST friend," people in the room turned to look at his sudden raised voice. "I should have known, he should have been able to talk to me. I was too obsessed with work, I wasn't looking for signs, then I blamed him for stealing from HIS own business. What sort of man am I?"
She gave a dry laugh, "the type that spends thousands and takes all his free time preserving his reputation in my eyes. For that I'll be eternally grateful. You are a good man Joel Edwards, a really good man."
He stammered, trying to find the words to explain how he felt but she shook his head, "if he didn't tell you about Daniel, it's because he was embarrassed. He didn't tell you, because he knew that it was wrong, that it was out of control."
He dropped his head hating that tears were welling in his eyes, "there are so many what ifs, I just feel like I've failed him hugely."
She shook her head, "you think I don't feel the same? I didn't know where he was going; I had no idea what Daniel was up to. I lived with him, I slept with him...I had NO idea either, I didn't pick up on anything, no sniff that things were wrong." She gave a smile when he finally lifted his eyes to hers, "he never wanted either of us to know that he was struggling with something. He wanted to be the strong one. That was what he was. He'd never want either of us to know that Daniel was playing him. It was like his worst nightmare."
She was right, that was Marcus, he was the centre of his family, the centre of everyone's world, it was where he loved to be, knee deep in all the action.
"You're right," he offered a watery smile. "That's why it's been so hard to lose him, he's left the biggest void, so much bigger than I thought possible."
She nodded, "but I'm lucky, I've got Eleanor. You haven't."
"All I've got is the business that is draining me to the core."
Silence settled between them, or rather silence from them, Eleanor was still busy smashing her toy phone into the table chuckling at the sounds that it emitted, bells, tunes, beeps. It had them all.
"So what do you do now?" Sammy was smiling at him, "I mean this feels like the full stop that we've been waiting for."
"I've got a pocket watch, a beautiful vintage one."
And it was beautiful, and probably extremely valuable. The words that accompanied it when he'd received it from Nana Turner's solicitor had brought tears to his eyes.
Something seeped in history and family, to someone who appreciates that more than anyone else I know. If you could pick your family members, I'd have deposited you in the centre of mine years ago. You have a pure heart Joel Edwards, and it deserves love and a family of its own.
He didn't know about that, but he did feel like he belonged to someone, to something when he looked at it, the letter AND the watch.
"I was so pleased to hear that." She sighed, "and I got a deposit for a little house along the coast..."
"I sense a but?"
Sammy drank some more wine then topped up both glasses.
"Are you trying to get me drunk? I am in charge of a baby you know?"
They both looked down at Eleanor who was gnawing on one of the keys that she was playing with. Then she added, "I can't meet the mortgage payments, I don't have a regular income, no assets. Hell I've no job."
"I can..."
Holding up a hand she cut him off, "I can't accept anything else from you, it's ludicrous. It's not your fault that Marcus didn't leave me anything. This isn't your responsibility."
The barman approached collecting empty glasses and their conversation ceased for a while, then he replied, "I'm thinking of selling the business."
"What?" She almost leapt to her feet and he almost gave a misplaced laugh.
"This was Marcus' dream, not mine. I love to see things grow, to build, but I'm the sensible one, I'm not the one to develop things." Rolling his eyes he stretched his spine, "I'm not doing a good job here. The business has money, half of that is his, or rather yours."
She shook her head, "I think more than just his half was frittered away on his wastrel brother."
"You'd be surprised how much that's worth. I can't promise an infinite monthly income, but I can promise the balance of the price of a house here. That is what he's owed."
Sammy chuckled, "we'll never agree on this. Can we just change the subject for five minutes?" he gave a grateful nod. "SO how long are you in town? Long enough for you to get to know Eleanor properly? Long enough for me to show you around? Do you know the receptionist fancies you?"
He shook his head, "maybe finances were a better topic after all!"
Half an hour later she was leaving, three glasses of wine, in the presence of her daughter was far more than she normally imbibed. She needed to get home. Once they'd stopped arguing, she'd had a nice time with Joel, but then they'd always got on.
"It's only six o'clock," she offered, "too late to have drunk this much wine."
He laughed, "when I left yours I thought I'd get wasted."
"Come back to my mother's? She's working until ten, and she's got a new boyfriend who lives across town, there's a huge chance that she'll not come home. I've made the biggest shepherd's pie, and it'll do wonders soaking up the alcohol."
"I'm not here to put you out."
She smiled, "you are a good friend, you are the only person who knows how I feel, you are the only person who can remember Marcus like I have. I need to spend more time with you, it helps. Does it help you too?"
Did it? All he knew was that he finally felt that life was worth living when he was around her, he had some desire, some drive to live his life when he was with her. Did she help? Oh yes, and then some.