Phina:
Oh, my twins... They were so big now. The Doctor hated being without me, and seeing me so lost on Earth so he'd left it for a while, and now... They were about 7. But it was also Clara's turn to chose where we were going. "Take a punt."
"Right."
I smiled at her from the chair as I cuddled the twins. "Your choice. Wherever, whenever, anywhere in time and space. As long as we're home in time for bath and bed, no arguments, S-J, Cadia."
"Well, there is something, someone that I've always wanted to meet." Clara said carefully. "But I know what you'll say."
"Try us."
She looked really nervous, especially about what I'd say. "You'll say he's made up, that there is no such thing."
Well, we couldn't say anything until you she said who it was. "Go on."
"It's. It's Robin Hood."
Oh, come on! "Robin Hood."
She nodded, going up to where my husband was on the gallery. "Yeah. I love that story. I've always loved it, ever since I was little." Well, I loved Pandora's Box, and then we found out that was real.
"Robin Hood, the heroic outlaw, who robs from the rich and gives to the poor." Clara nodded hopefully. "He's made up. There's no such thing."
The Doctor took a book from the bookcase. "Old-fashioned heroes only exist in old-fashioned story books, Clara."
"Daddy, he could be real." We both looked at Sarah Jane, the little one who spoke all the time, while Cadia was as shy as I was as Alice. "You never know."
Clara bent down and picked up her little Goddaughter and rested her on her hip, though she was already getting big. "And what about you, Doctor, Phi?"
Wait, what? "Us?"
"Yeah, you. You stop bad things happening every minute of every day and still make it home for baths and bed, and marking. That sounds pretty heroic to me."
The Doctor licked some yoghurt from a large, metal spoon, and looked like he was enjoying it and I had a small pang for fish custard, bacon, beans and apples, right back from the beginning. Amelia and Alycea. "Just passing the time. Hey, what about Mars?"
"What?!"
Actually that sounded pretty good. "The Ice Warrior Hives."
"You said it was my choice."
"Or the Tumescent Arrows of the Half-Light." No, no drinking, we had the twins and we didn't need a conga line with them watching. "Those girls can hold their drink."
"Doctor. Seraphina."
He kinda refused to stop giving other ideas. "And fracture fifteen different levels of reality simultaneously. I think I've got a Polaroid somewhere."
"Doctor! My choice. Robin Hood. Show me."
We went back down to the console and I let the twins have a go, carefully explaining any mistakes they made to them, and they got us there in one piece, more than could have been said to my husband whenever he tried this. "Earth. England. Sherwood Forest. 1190AD. Ish. But you'll only be disappointed."
I shuffled Clara, the twins and myself off to the wardrobe, changing quickly before we made it out as my husband was being borderline attacked by a guy with a bow and arrow. Eh, they were too hit and miss with aiming. "Might be a little bit much, but what do you reckon, Dove?"
"By all the saints." The man breathed, staring at Clara and I, while S-J frowned at the bow. Oh no, no, no, don't even think about it. No telekinesis. "Are there any more in there? Not the children, the damsels."
"Is that?"
The Doctor didn't even let her finish. "No."
Not that she believed him. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God! It is, isn't it? You found him. You actually found Robin Hood." How giggly and girlie could you get?
"That is not Robin Hood."
"Well then, who, sir, is about to relieve you of your magic box?"
Oh, you were kidding. Not a chance in hell. "S-J, Cadia's my Darlings, stay with daddy." I walked onto a bridge towards him. "Nobody, sir. Not in this universe or the next."
"Miss, I must protest, I will not fight a woman, especially one as fair as snow you are."
Oh, well that was good English. "Excuse me, dear man, but you should know that I am not just a woman. I'm Seraphina Tate, mother of Sarah Jane, Arcadia, Jenny, Melody and Starfall, as welll as the maker of words and the future."
"Well then, draw your sword and prove your words, maker"
And there was another thing I did without in this form. "I have no sword. I don't need a sword. Because I am the Writer." I pulled out a small biro. "And this is my pen. En garde!"
We started fighting, and i was beating him easily. "You're amazing, mummy!" The twins called, holding hands. My cuties.
"I've had some experience. Richard the Lionheart. Cyrano de Bergerac. Errol Flynn. He had the most enormous" The Doctor and Clara cleared their throats as I quickly changed word. Young ears learn a lot. "Ego."
My Doctor grinned a moment. "Takes one to know one, Love."
Laughing, I easily dodged Robin's parry, slapping his backside, before easily pushing him into the water. "Like we said, dear. Our box, its my childrens home."
But there was no one there, and when I leaned over to look, he appeared from behind me, pushing me into water. Water was something I was still struggling with. Because where I was comfortable with a bath, it was because the Doctor was nearly always with me, and he'd taught me to swim as Sarah. But being in a river, just as cold as the lake, I struggled to stay calm and the Doctor rushed forward and pulled me out. "Phi? My Phi, are you OK?" He asked, brushing my now went and tangled blue hair off my face.
"Y, yeah. Just... flashback, thats all." I breathed, touching his face lightly. "Thanks for being my hero as usual. Come on, watch the twins while I change."
The Doctor:
I loved having Phi back in the TARDIS, even if it wasn't permanent, and the twins loved her being here again. She'd changed, going for a blood red dress this time, and then we'd been lead to where 'Robins' men were waiting for his return. "Let me introduce you to my men. This is Will Scarlet. He is a cheeky rogue with a good sword arm and a slippery tongue."
" My ladies." He bowed to my wife and companion while I kept the twins with me, and ripped some of his hair out, scanning it with the sonic. "Argh! What do you want with my hair?"
Come on, you had to be kidding me "Well, it's realistic, I'll give you that."
Robin wasn't perturbed. "And this is Friar Tuck. Aptly named for the amount of grub he tucks into."
"You skinny blackguard." They laughed and I darted and yanked his sandals off, causing him to nearly fall. "What are you doing?"
"This isn't a real sandal."
I could see Phi with her head in hand, shaking her head as the twins stood by her side. "Yes, it is, husband. I can smell it from here."
Sniffing it, I could see her point. "Oh. Yes, it is."
"This, er, is Alan-a-Dale. He's a master of the lute, whose music brightens up these dark days."
And then he started singing and we really couldn't have that. "Strangers you are welcome here, in Sherwood's bonny glade. Ow!"
He cut off abruptly as I jabbed him a hypodermic needle we'd previously invented to test Phi's blood sugar when she refused to eat. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. Blood analysis. Oh. All those diseases. If you were real, you'd be dead in six months."
"I am real."
Phi sighed, picking up our son and resting him on her hip. "Bye. Doctor, enough!"
"And this is John Little." Robin continued relentlessly. "Called Little John. He's my loyal companion in many an adventure."
A mountainous man stepped aside, letting a smaller one come through to general merriment. I hated merriment, and I could see that S-J was thinking the same when I picked her up. "Don't worry, it's annoying me too, my little Princess."
"Oh, I cannot believe this."Clara laughed, putting her hand over her mouth. "You, you really are Robin Hood and his Merry Men."
"Aye! That is an apt description. What say you, lads?" They all agreed and started laughing, and my daughter pressed her face into my shoulder, her dark chocolate brown curls tied back with a scarlet ribbon. She looked just like my last form, except as a girl, with one eye like mine, and the other was such a pure, sparkling gold that it looked like sunlight inside her. Which with how bubbly she was, definitely worked.
"Stop laughing. Why are you always doing that? Are you all simple or something? I'm going to need a sample." I threw a goblet to Robin.
He paused. "Of what?"
"Ahem." I looked at Clara. "Excuse me. Sorry. What are you doing?"
I would have thought she had realised by now. !Well, they're not holograms, that much is obvious. Could be a theme park from the future. Or we might be inside a miniscope.!
And now Phi had had enough. "Oh, shut up, you great idgit! This is not the Carnival of Monsters, we closed that down, and it's not a miniscope!"
"Your husband seems not quite of the real world, fair lady Snow." She was not Snow White, Snow White was boring.
She just shrugged, hefting Arcadia up a little. "No. No, he's not really. Not most of the time. Then again, I spend half my life looking into the time vortex and drawing my own time line. Dark days?"
He got confused a moment. "My lady?"
"You said that these were dark days." Arcadia told him quietly, looking like he would rather be back in the TARDIS. He was the shy one, and when we'd introduced him to his brother in law, and Godfather, Jack, that had been interesting. He was a lot more like his mummy, a dark purply mane of hair with deep moss green eyes, and skin as pale as the moon. "What did you mean, Mr Hood?" Oh, and he was the polite one.
"King Richard is away on crusade, my lady and little lord. His tyrant of a brother rules instead."
Clara was getting excited again. "And the Sheriff. Cos there is a sheriff, right?"
"Aye." Alan agreed. "It is indeed this jackal of the princes who seeks to oppress us for ever more."
"Or six months in your case."
"It is a shame to dwell on murky thoughts when there is such beauty here."
Sarah Jane frowned at him, jumping down and walking over to him. "Why are you so sad?"
"Why do you think me sad?" Robin frowned, getting down to her level. OK, that was a good thing to do with a child but it didn't make you real.
"Because the Daddy's right, you laugh too much. "
"You know, I do not live this outlaw life by choice. You see before you Robert."
At which point Clara joined in, ever the Fangirl. "Earl of Loxley. Yes."
"Yes."
And now she realised her mistake. "Sorry. Do go on."
Robin was a little confused, as well as worried about how she knew that. "I er, I had my lands and titles stripped from me. I dared to speak out against Prince John. But I lost the thing most dear to me."
"What was she called?" Phina asked, her eyes swirling a brighter gold, a pen spiraling up her arm in words and illustrations. She should be the Author, not the Writer.
"You're so very quick. How does the Doctor stand it?"
My wife just smirked. "Well, I'm wearing the trousers in the relationship. Well, most of the time. Marian?"
He was surprised again. "You know her?"
"Oh, yes." Clara nodded. "I have always known her."
"It was Marian who told me that I must stand up and be counted." Now, why did that story remind me of a certain renegade and a Prophetess at the top of a tower. "But, I was afraid. Now this green canopy is my palace and the rough ground my feather bed. Maybe one day I will return home, but until that day. Until that day, it is beholden on me to be the man Marian wanted, to be a hero for those this tyrant sheriff slaughters."
Sarah Jane was now wandering around the meadow, and nearly went to climb a tree but I shook my head and she didn't. Like father like daughter though. "What time is it, Mister Hood?"
"Somewhat after noon, young one."
"No, no. Time of year? What season? And I'm not just a kid." Well, she was, in both human terms, and especially our people. Though she was more powerful than most, as she'd gotten her power before the age of 8, and without the Untempered Schism.
Robin smiled at her. "Oh, Dame Autumn has draped her mellow skirts about the forest, Lady Sarah Jane. The time of mists and harvest approaches."
"Yeah, yeah. All very poetic, which is my job by the way."Phi said, moving our daughter behind her deep red skirt with her brother. "But it's very green hereabouts, though, isn't it? Like she said, very sunny."
"So?" Clara asked.
Were you kidding me? "Have you been to Nottingham?"
"Climate change?"
I thought she was supposed to be clever? "It's 1190."
And then Robin interruped us. "You must excuse me. The Sheriff has issued a proclamation and tomorrow there is to be a contest to find the best archer in the land. And the bounty, it's an arrow made of pure gold."
"No!" Our companion cried, looking horrified. "Don't, don't go. It's a trap."
"Well, of course it is! But a contest to find the best archer in the land? There is no contest."
Now everyone was laughing and it was horrible, and S-J and I didn't want it. "Right, that isn't even funny. That was bantering. I am totally against bantering."
They kept laughing and Clara came over as Cadia started a game of tag with his sister, running around. "Twins, don't go too far!"
"How can you be so sure he is not the real thing?"
I shook my head, resting my forehead on Phi's as she smiled at me. "Because he can't be. Hello, my lovely Phina."
Clara was now shaking her head, her eyes inflating somehow. "When did you stop believing in everything?"
"When did you start believing in impossible heroes?"
"Don't you know?" She asked slyly. "In a way, it's rather sweet."
I picked an apple off a tree, then took a bite. It was delicious. Phi frowned, and took a bite herself before we headed off after the others. Times changed and so had I.
Phi:
"In the contest for the golden arrow, after ten rounds, the battle is betwixt our Lord Sheriff" The crowd around us cheered obligatorily. And the Doctor had no idea what was going on, so was going to ruin it. Of course. "And the stranger known as Tom the Tinker. "Take your places."
"Shall we make the contest a little more interesting, my Lord?" Robin asked him, and I saw that he looked like Ben Miller. Boff was the best in Johnny English. "The targets seem a little close. What say you? Another twenty paces?"
They moved it back and I felt my husband appear behind me. "Phi, I need you to shoot an arrow and split them both."
You were kidding me. "Doctor, I'm a woman, they wouldn't let me fire an arrow and I am not leaving the twins with you in this mood when I got arrested. What happened with that special bow you were making?"
"I couldn't get it to work. Phi, please. I'll let the twins stay with you for a while." He pleaded, making me face him and kissing me softly. "Please, please, please." With every please he kissed me again. Manipulative bastard. He didn't even like kissing, he just wanted me to freaking shoot an arrow. "My Phi..."
I sighed, patted his cheek a little, then went and grabbed a bow, just as Robin split the first arrow. "Ye Gads! He has split the arrow! Truly, he is the finest archer in all England. Come forward, Tinker. And claim your prize."
Just as he was about to, I shot a third arrow, splitting his so you could see the bright gold of it. "I'm Lady Seraphina Tate. My skills as a bow-woman speak for themselves. I claim my reward." He kneeled and I took it, and sighed. I preferred silver. "A mere bauble. I want something else."
"Name it, beautiful lady. Titles, wealth, land?"
"Enlightenment." But Robin then split my arrow, so I had to shoot mine off a guards armour where it split his once more. And he shot it without looking. I could have done that, but I was bored and the Doctor was waiting. "This is getting silly." So I let golden fire engulf my hand and then shot it at the target.
At which point the Sherrif, who from now on was going to be called Boff, got very interested in me. "Fascinating. Seize her!"
Three knights went for me but I growled, kicking them away easily as the Doctor ran forwards, leaving the twins with the Merry Men. Great. And also, Clara tried to take a halberd from the side, but it was far too heavy. "What do hyou tihnk youre doing, Love? Put that down!"
"Im fine. I take Year Seven for after school Tae Kwon Do." Because that was really so similar.
"Don't worry, Lady Seraphina, Doctor. I'll save you."
I stopped kicking a Knight to look at him. "I don't need saving. Do I look like I need saving? I'm the freaking Sentinel of Time, I don't need saving." Why was it whenever I was angry, my voice was so Scottish I couldn't even understand myself.
"Your honour is safe." My honour was gone the minute I married the Doctor and gave him kids.
"I know."
"For I am Robin." He removed his hat and everyone cheered. "Robin Hood!"
At which point I lit my hand on fire again, and yanked off one of the knights arms by accident. And now, they decided I was a witch. The Doctor picked the arm up, looking smug. "Robot." Its visor opened to reveal a metal face, and a violet light shone in a cross pattern from the eyebrows. Ah, I drew that earlier. "Now we're getting somewhere."
"Take them. Kill the rest. Kill them all!"
The robot knights fired energy bolts from their foreheads. "He surrenders!" The Doctor cried suddenly, and used his old Venusian aikido to knock Robins sword out of his hand.
"You miserable cur. I had them on the run. Flee, lads, flee! Live to fight another day!" Then the Merry Men pegged it, just as the knights went for my twins. S-J threw one with telekinesis, and Cadia just let it phase through him before Tuck and Scarlett grabbed one each and took them along for the ride as they called for me and their dad.
"ARCADIA, SARAH JANE!" I screamed, trying to run after them, my hearts thudding at the thought of my twins being hurt, but the Doctor held me fast as we were then dragged to the dungeons.
There were only three places we could be chained, and the guard recognised the Doctors and my rings, and chained us directly together, so we were chained together, and Robin found it hilarious how I was straddling him. I didn't mind, I was pretty comfy.
"Splendid. Enchained."
Clara nodded, inbetween all of us. "Yep."
"Trussed up like turkey-cocks. Thanks to your friend and husband." Sorry, but what was a turkey-cock?
The Doctor, who was rather enjoying where I was, rolled his eyes, speaking across to him. Poor Clara, she was going to get such a headache. "Shut it, Hoodie. I saved your life."
"I had the situation well in hand."
Excuse me, what? "Long-haired ninny versus robot killer knights? I know where I'd put my money." If I had money, I split it between my wards back on Earth. Clyde ran his own comic book company now.
He wasn't amused. "If you had not betrayed me, Lady Snow, I would have been triumphant."
" You would have been a little puff of smoke and ashes." He started laughing again, which caused the Doctor to get even more angry. "You'd have been floating around in tiny little laughing bits in people's goblets." Still laughing. "Oh, right, here we go. It's laughing time."
"Well, you amuse me, grey old man."
He made a face. "Guard! He's laughing again! You can't keep me locked up with a laughing person." The argument that ensued was really, really frustrating, and poor Clara stuck in the middle of it was not nice, and I felt for her. I remembered the Brig and the Doctor back when we, well, he, was exiled on Earth.
And finally, Clara had had enough. "Oh, you two, shut up!" They were silent and we all looked at her. "Do either of you understand, in any way at all, that there isn't actually a guard out there?"
"I did, in fact."
The Doctor shut him down. "No, you didn't."
"I said, shut up." Clara snapped again. "The Doctor and Robin Hood locked up in a cellar, with the Time Sentinel with her children at risk. Is this seriously the best that you can do? You're determined to starve to death in here squabbling."
"Well, I'll tell you one thing. I'd last a lot longer than this desiccated man-crone."
"Really?" The Doctor asked pointedly, looking like he wanted to wrap his arms around me, but he couldn't as we were tired together. If only Arcadia was here, he'd phase us out.
Hood nodded. "Really."
Now the Doctor went smarmy. "Well, you know what? I think you'll find we have a certain genetic advantage. Oh!" I'd sent a fire bolt into an uncomfortable place to shut him up.
"It is not a competition about who can die slower."
"It would definitely be us, though, wouldn't it?"
I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. "There was supposed to be a plan. Do either of you two have a plan? Because our twins are out there, Dove."
"Yeah, of course I have a plan."
Robin nodded too. "I too have a plan."
"Okay. Robin, you first."
"I am biding my time."
"Thank you, Prince of Thieves." She looked at the Doctor. "Only of the adult male Time Lords for the time being?"
He nodded again. "Yes, I have a plan."
Unfortunately, I saw where this was going. "Can you explain your plan without using the word sonic screwdriver? Because you might have forgotten the Sheriff of Nottingham has taken your sonic screwdriver, just saying. It's always the screwdriver. Or me and the twins."
"Okay, let, let, let, let's hear Robin's plan first."
"Oh, for God's sake."
And then the door was unlocked, and Robin grinned at the fact there was a guard. "See? There was a guard. There was guard listening the whole time, I knew it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
"The Sheriff himself commanded me to listen, to find out which of you is the true ringleaders."
My Doc nodded knowingly. "Ah, so he can do the interrogating. Very wise."
And the testosterone competition continued. "Excellent. He will get nothing from me."
"No, no, no, no. no. He will get nothing from me and Phina, because interrogation, that's where we always turn the tables. You see, that's my plan."
But what they didnt see, was that they were taking Clara and I. "Seriously." And thne we were taken out much to their protest. Girls in the lead.
DW
We were at a well stocked table, non of which was a particularly nice looking food besides the fruit, but he was expecting us to eat it. "Eat, my Ladies, eat. Let it not be said that the Sheriff of Nottingham is a poor host."
"I had a bag of crisps this morning, thanks. And Seraphina is on a diet."
He paused a moment. "Your words are strange, fair one. And your blue haired sister is rather interesting." I may love Clara to pieces, but she would never replace Amelia in my heart.
"Mmm, I should think they are."
"But I like you. You're refreshingly direct." Oh, come on. No flirting, she was going to be with Danny, it was obvious.
Clara smirked a little. "You can take the girl out of Blackpool."
And then the Sherrif held up some sarnies, my pen, the Doctors spoon and a locket with a photo of Melody inside. "Taken from your husband's strange tunic, Lady Archer. An intriguing gallimaufry. Including this wand, matching your own with a purple light. Evidently a thing of awesome power. Tell me, are you from beyond the stars?"
"You're the one with the robot army, you tell me."
"But enough of tawdry matters. Let us talk of softer, sweeter things." He speared a sweetmeat.
"Ah. Good, yes, I was hoping we'd get round to that."
You were? Clara what were you up to? "You were?"
"Mmm. For I have known I was destined to draw the eye of a great and powerful man for a long time. Ever since I saw those mysterious lights in the sky, and this foreign Princess came to my door." Great.
But it got Boffs attention. "You saw them too?"
"And those strange mechanical men, with their promises."
"I too have experienced this."
Clara was an amazing actress. "Really? Well, I would never have guessed. Tell me your story."
"Tell me yours."
"Oh, no, no, no, no. But you have to go first."
"Why so?"
She looked to me for help. "Because great men always precede."
Boff grinned at me. "You have a point, Space Princess." I was not enjoying it.
"Your story, then."
"Once upon a time, there was a brave and clever and handsome man." Yep, his name was Doctor, though I was a little biased. "Unappreciated by his royal master." Prince John then. "The skyship came to Earth in a fury of fire." Which meant it crashed. "A craft from the heavenly spheres, bedight with twinkling lights and miracles beyond imagining. The most beautiful thing the brave and handsome man had ever seen."
This guy was definitely full of himself. "And I suppose the mechanical men saw you as their natural leader?"
Boff nodded. "It was I and I alone to whom the mechanical men then imparted their secrets. Shortly, I shall be the most powerful man in the realm. King in all but name, for Nottingham is not enough."
It never was. "It isn't?"
"After this, Derby." Obviously. "Then Lincoln. And after Lincoln"
Let me guess. "Worksop?"
The Sheriff stabbed his dagger into the table. Damn, it was a nice table. "The world!"
"So what are you hanging around here for, then, Your Majesty?" I asked him, getting up and slowly walking around the table. I was never trapped. "Why are you bothering to squeeze pips out of peasants if you've got a skyship on stand-by?"
"Enough questions. I'm impatient to hear your story."
Clara just laughed. "Oh, but I do not have one. I was lying." This was news to him. "Yeah. People are so much better at sharing information if they think the other person has already got it."
"Oh, that's very clever."
"Thank you."
"You'll both do very well."
Excuse me? "For what?"
"Doesn't every king require consorts?" He grabbed me and tried to kiss me but I shoved him back. Hard.
"Trust me, you don't want me. For one, I'm married, and second, well, my brother tried to control me and he ended up dead." Not willingly
But then we were dragged, me by the hair as an alarm started. Great, they escaped, so we didn't get to rescue the Lords in Distress. We blew the door in, and saw them by a panel. "Surrender, outlaw."
The Doctor didn't believe any of this yet. "Very good."
"Kill him. Kill Robin Hood."
"You can drop all that stuff now, Sheriff."
"Doctor?!"
He glanced at me. "He is not what you think he is. This is all play-acting."
"We can't just let them kill him!"
"You're not fooling anyone, Sheriff."
A blast from a knight knocked the vigilante off his feet, and Clara quickly got between him and his attacker.Except Robin grabbed her around the waist and backed her up to the window. Oh, not a chance. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Surviving." And then he fell back out of the window, taking her with him.
"No! Clara!" The Doctor and I ran forward to look out, the water of the moat reflecting the pale moonlight. I didn't even notice that a handful of my hair was left behind in Boffs hand, curled and blue.
And he didn't seem too concerned. "Yeah, sorry about the girl. Such a pretty thing. What a queen she would have made." But I smiled as I saw Robin carrying an unconscious Clara out of the moat in a quick vision before looking back at him.
But unfortunately, the Doctor still believed this was all fake. "Stop pretending. You and your fancy robots. I get it. I understand."
"Oh, so you too know my plans?"
"You and your robots plundering the surrounding countryside for all it's worth. Gold. Gold. Of course. Gold. You are creating a matrix of gold to repair the engine circuitry." Well, he got that fast.
The Sheriff nodded, looking ready to crab hold of me again, though my hair was already matter with the blood from the last chunk he ripped out. "This is the scheme the Mechanicals have devised. Soon this skyship will depart. Destination, London. There I will obliterate the King and take my rightful place as ruler of this sceptred isle."
"It won't work. There's not a chance. I'm looking at the instruments." I told him, drawing the inside up my arm. "There's been too much damage. You are stoking up a gigantic bomb!"
"Shush." And then everything went black.
The Doctor:
"Engine capacity at forty eight percent."
I groaned, waking up slowly, Phi tied up opposite me, looking murderous. "It's not enough. That's not enough. It'll never make orbit." There was a lot of other people down here with is, all moaning and groaning. "That's the engines, building in power. Stupid, stupid Sheriff."
I could see Phi trying to break out of her chains, and it looked like she was heating them up with fire. Well, she was hot. "Argh! Go on, give! Give, you stupid things. What are you looking at?"
"I think I understand your strange friend." The woman, who was blatantly Maid Marion, said, nodding to me. "The Sheriff's using the gold to replace something."
I nodded my agreement. "That's the principle. But he's a moron. If he tries to fly this ship, it'll explode and wipe out half the country. What we need is a little riot. Time to reflect on lasers and gold. Spread the word."
She freed our hands and we started the revolution.
Eventually a Knight came to us, and went to my wife who was smiling demurely. "You are fit for labour. Stand aside while this peasant unit is freed."
"I'm afraid you're a little late, there, Dove."
"Explain."
" I'm already free!" It fired up the violet beam, but she just punched through the metal of its body, leaving behind molten remains before she ripped out the innards. Carnage ensued, and we all used shields of the gold plates, and managed to deflect all of their lazers back to the rest of them.
And we got out.
"Out, out! Everyone, quickly, get out. Quickly!"
"You are indeed an ingenious fellow, Doctor, Lady Seraphina." The Sheriff said, appearing in the room with us, and I pulled my wife into me. "But do you really think your peasants' revolt can stop me? "
Well, you dug yourself a hole there. "I rather think you're the revolting one around here. I'm bantering. I'm bantering. Listen to me." Phi raised a perfect blue eyebrow and I got on with my point. "You don't have enough gold content to seal the engine breach. If you try and take off, you'll wipe out half of England."
"Liar! From my sky vessel, I shall rule omnipotent."
Phi walked closer to him, not looking happy. "You pudding-headed primitive, shut down the engines. What you're doing will alter the course of history."
"I sincerely hope so, or I wouldn't be bothering."
Seriously? "Listen to me. It doesn't have to end like this. Shut it all down, return Clara to me and I'll do what I can."
Now that confused him. "I don't have Clara."
"Robin's one of yours."
"What did you say?"
Come on, you might as well as up to it. "He's one of your tin-headed puppets, just like these brutes here."
Phi shook her head. "Doctor, will you drop it?! Come on!"
"Robin Hood is not one of mine."
"Of course he is. He's a robot, created by your mechanical mates."
Seraphina was really getting annoyed. "Why would they do that, you silver haired buffoon??"
"To pacify the locals, give them false hope. He's the opiate of the masses."
And now the Sheriff was joining in. "Why would we create an enemy to fight us? What sense would that make? That would be a terrible idea."
Actually, that was a very, very good point. "Yes! Yes, it would. Wouldn't it? Yes, that would be a rubbish idea. Why would you do that? But he can't be. He's not real. He's a legend!"
"Too kind! And this legend does not come alone." We looked up to see Robin, Clara, Sarah Jane and Arcadia in the gallery. Robin took Clara down, while S-J managed to LEVITATE herself, and Cadia just phased through the floor and came back up. I have nothing if not normal children. One half TARDIS, another a genetic anomaly, one telekinetic and one who could affect their molecular density.
"My men have taken the castle."
Sheriff wasn't amused. "No!"
"Now I'm going to take you." And then they all started fighting, while Phi hugged our twins tight, checking both 7 year olds over, seeing them both giggly and in god spirits.
"Mummy, we're fine."
She kissed both their heads. "Can't blame me for being worried. God, you two, you're both so good at that now..."
S-J shrugged. "Daddy said that we should practice for when we next saw you. Because you were sad a lot and it would cheer you up."
"Is that true, Doctor?"
"You know me, Phi." I smiled looking at them all. "I love my family."
And then the entire castle started shaking and we picked up a twin each. "Phina, Doctor."
We both looked at Clara. "I know. The whole castle's about to blow."
Robin and Boff were still fighting high above us, right above the pot of molten gold. Except it was easy enough to just shove him back and he fell screaming into the pot. "Sorry. Was that, er, was that showing off?"
"That was amazing."
The shaking got worse and masonry started falling, and I got with the running. "Run! Come on, run!" We ended just after the moat, seeing the spaceship take off. "It's never going to make it. Not enough gold. It'll never make it into orbit. Where is it? Where did it go?"
Phi and Clara frowned. "Where did what go?"
S-J got it, still in my arms. "The golden arrow. Arcadia took it!"
"Arcadia!" He smiled and took it out of his small bag, something he'd taken to carrying as he loved drawing. That and he seemed to think we'd find things we needed. "You clever boy. OK, Sarah Jane, your turn. You aim it right at the ship. You can do this, its just like that target practice."
She nodded and took it, then lifted it into the air and it went rocketing up to the ship, and it hit just hard enough to get it into orbit, before it exploded and we all started cheering, both twins lifted up onto the Merry Mens shoulders. My twins, brilliant.
DW
"So, is it true, Doctor, Lady Snow?"
Phi gave him a small smile, back in her human clothes, leggings and a blue shirt. "Is what true?"
"That in the future I am forgotten as a real man? I am but a legend?"
"I'm afraid it is."
"Hmm." He considered. "Good. History is a burden. Stories can make us fly." That they could, that they could, as Seraphina was the maker of them.
I patted my sons shoulder, still stood with us after S-J went inside with Clara. Her power wore her out more. "I'm still having a little trouble believing yours, I'm afraid."
"Is it so hard to credit? That a man born into wealth and privilege should find the plight of the oppressed and weak too much to bear..."
"No."
"Until one night he is moved to steal a TARDS, lead by the guiding voice of his beloved, one still of power and beauty? Fly among the stars, fighting the good fight. Clara told me your stories."
Phina's expression went a little harder. "She should not have told you any of that."
And that made Robin laugh, but this time I didn't mind it so much. "Well. Well, once the story started, she could hardly stop herself. You are her heros, I think."
"I'm not a hero. I was the villain to many a story." Phi said softly, and I kissed her temple.
"Well, neither am I. But if we both keep pretending to be. Ha-ha! Perhaps others will be heroes in our name. Perhaps we will both be stories. And may those stories never end." I shook hands with him and Phi kissed his cheek before stepping back a little. "Goodbye, Seraphina and Doctor, Time Lords of Gallifrey."
"Goodbye, Robin Hood, Earl of Loxley."
He moved further back as we walked into the TARDIS. "And remember, Doctor. I'm just as real as you are. As real of your fairy tale wife and children."
Well, we're all stories in the end.