Alex:
Grace again knocked on her chest and pursed her lips as she stared at the glass of whatever it was. Jesus Christ, that was horrible. She wanted to throw that all over the table, but she knew it wouldn't help a thing. It had something quite funny after all.
'He killed himself?' she suddenly asked disbelieved. She clenched her teeth in grief, and sighed deeply as she glanced away. 'That's horrible... Why does he thinks it's even possible to come back from the death?' She shut her mouth now, hoping she hadn't offend Nigel by this. 'He did told me, though, that he wanted to come back and such. I tried to convince him that he couldn't-' She searched for Nigel his eyes and stopped for a few seconds. 'but he didn't believed me, of course. That pour boy...' She hit her eyes and stopped again.
Nevertheless, as soon as she realized what Nigel said at last, she looked up.
'Now what the hell you're talking about?' Grace cleaned her throat and tried to smile a bit - making a joke of it since she didn't believed him. He couldn't have come back from the death, now could he? Grace had already thought from the beginning that this all was one big pile of nonsense - though Alex his spirit was indeed in her body, but still. That was different then coming back from the death. Nevertheless it was nothing more then a try to make it look fake - since she was too afraid he wasn't joking. And so he didn't. She inhaled deeply and shook her head. 'I mean, you're joking right? You can't- You're not... dead, right?' She laughed again, nervously and frowned. 'I mean, you can't be. We-' She didn't even dared to pronounce what she thought now.
Nigel:
Nigel took a bite of the food, and though he really needed the food somehow he seemed to swallow it with reluctance. And not because of the taste. But at least he was eating again.
"Yes.. Did you think I killed him?" he looked up at Grace to see her reaction, but smiled before she felt obliged to answer. "I didn't. He sacrificed himself. Just like I did.. He just didn't understand the risks as well as I."
He took a careful sip of the whiskey. It burned his throat as well but the warm feeling that he got from it, and the numbing of pain, was almost worth it. He frowned and made a gesture with his hand.
"Well of course I'm not dead now.. But I used to be. For as far as you can count a stay in purgatory as death."
Alex:
Just like Nigel did, Grace shoved some food on her fork, and she slowly put it in her mouth with hesitation. She wasn't hungry anymore, somehow, and at her first swallow she shivered. Though, she had to say it tasted better than the stuff in the institute. Much better to be exact.
'If I thought that you'd killed Alex?' A frown appeared on her appearance, and she hook her head as she leaned over her plate. 'Of course not. You seem to care about him. Why would I think that you'd killed him then? I honestly thought he died by accident or so... Never expected him to commit suicide...' She searched for his eyes and stroked her hair behind her right ear. 'He didn't told me either...'
She watched him gulping some from his whiskey, and she couldn't keep herself from trying some too again - if it was only just a drop touching her tongue. She still didn't really liked the taste of it.
Her eyes widened as Nigel explained about his dead and status, and she slowly leaned backwards as she shook her head.
'No you're not... You didn't- Oh, oh well that makes sense. You're not dead now? How can I-' She shook her head again and stood up, walking away from the table - if it were only three steps - and she rubbed her forehead. 'How- Why didn't you tell me? Jesus.'
Nigel:
He stared at his plate but didn't answer. The fact he cared about him said nothing about whether he killed him or not. He'd cared about his mother too, after all, and look where that got her.
"..for as far as you can count it as suicide, when you're convinced you will be back."
He looked up at her as she reacted the way he probably should have expected her to but didn't.
"You don't believe me," he concluded quietly. His expression hardened slightly and he tried to hold her eyes by staring at her straightly.
"I'm not crazy. .. I just didn't tell you because the last time I told anyone I was declared clinically insane."
Alex:
Grace her hands slowly went up as she shook her head. Her fingers pressed against her cheeks as a deep frown appeared on her forehead. So Alex had committed suicide, but you couldn't call it suicide since he was convinced he would come back? Well that sounded fair enough. Her mouth lightly fell open and she turned around again - pointing her back at him.
Nevertheless she turned back as soon as she heard him mumbling something and she inhaled deeply - wanting to answer his conclusion but didn't. She pursed her lips as she stared him straight in the eyes, since he was trying to pin his eyes upon hers, and slowly she walked back to her seat again - but not sitting down on it. Not yet.
'I'm not saying that you are, am I?'
Her voice became much sharper and she leaned over the table now, placing her hands next to his so she had something to lean on. She clenched her teeth and grabbed his chin now - pointing it up as she stared down at him. She inhaled deeply and shook her head again.
'I'm just shocked- I don't know what to think...'
Her grip weakened, and instead of holding his chin now her fingers followed the contours of his jaw,
'What am I-' she laughed softly now. 'Crazy insane?'
Nigel:
"You didn't have to.." he mumbled, looking back down at his plate. Clearly he was convinced she thought he was crazy and that she only wanted to spare his feelings.
He tried to look away a little longer but when she lifted his chin this was almost impossible without looking ridiculous so he turned his eyes to look at hers.
"It doesn't matter, Grace.. Its fine. I know you won't lock me up like they did."
He frowned at her last question, not sure what she was asking him.. eventually he decided to just react on it.
"They're the same thing..? But no, I don't think you're either of those."
Alex:
'It was meant as one wo-' She laughed again and rolled her eyes. 'Okay smartass, whatever.'
She pointed her eyes back at him and bit pensively down on her lower lip. 'And you don't have to worry-'
She slowly shook her head again and lowered her hand to lean above the table again. She stared down at their plates and sighed. 'Don't think you're crazy. I think you creative-' She gazed up and pursed her lips as she pulled back. 'But I don't know if I believe you yet-' She swallowed and wrapped her hands around the chair now. '-I honestly don't want to...'
She hit her eyes again and an haunting silence fell. She didn't broke it for a little while. She kept holding her eyes fixed on the table and just breathed softly, waiting for Nigel to say anything at first. Then she slowly turned around and walked away toward the next room. Her eyes fell on another door and she immediately walked toward it to investigate the room. She seemed to enter some sort of detached teahouse and she frowned as she saw a Christmas tree standing in the corner of it. Many thoughts ran through her head now about her past and her hand searched behind her for the doorframe so she could walk back to Nigel again without looking more around.
'Nigel?' she called as she went back toward the dinner table. 'Nigel- What date is it?'
Nigel:
He shot her a rather dark glance when she claimed he was not crazy but creative.
"Again. It's the same thing. Either you claim I'm making this up and only believe it myself or you claim I'm lying to you about it."
He snorted and turned back to his breakfast, poking in it with his fork before taking a bite. He allowed the silence to fall for a moment. Let the uncomfortable moment last some longer.
"Don't worry about it, though. People do little else. Their curse of being tedious.. ignorant."
He was probably crossing some line here but he didn't even seem to notice.
When she asked him for the date Nigel looked up again and his face was neutral, all offence gone again as quickly as it had come. He still wasn't very good at sustaining his emotions.
"It's 2012 and..-" he pulled the paper back to him to read the actual date out loud, "- the twenty-fourth of December."
Alex:
Grace pretended like she hadn't heard one word from his sulking lines and just remained in silence. Only - as already described - when she got back to the kitchen to ask him about the date she decided to break the silence again. A frown appeared on her forehead, and a sign of disbelief was visible on her facial expression.
'Real-' She didn't finished her sentence as she looked down the paper, and for a second she decided to glance back over her shoulder again. 'How did you get that paper?' She shook her head and sat down in front of him. 'Never mind. You know what tonight is?' She pursed her lips and let a silence fell - wondering if Nigel could fill in the words himself - but after all she didn't give him the time to. 'Christmas eve, what makes it tomorrow be Christmas.'
She bit down on the inside of her cheek and swallowed. Christmas. She never had a good Christmas in her pass. Honestly, she couldn't even remember the time she'd celebrated it. Of course there had been some time when they did, because when she was a little girl they'd been a great family full of harmony and joy. She couldn't remember herself when the first change was. It started with some kind of family issues - daddy became angry since he was drunk all the time and mommy became desperate, sad, weak. Then the abusing came, and the hell followed until it became to the worse and Grace was done with it on her fifteenth.
She blinked now, waking from her daydream and she inhaled deeply.
'My god- how did you got that paper? If they aren't home, why would they be up to date then?' She dropped her eyes and rubbed her forehead.
'Christmas-' she repeated again - more to herself.
Nigel:
He followed her to the kitchen and started to look the cabinets if there was anything as coffee here. There wasn't, but he did find a package of tea. That would have to do. There was nothing to cook the water so he just put some water in a pan and cooked it on the stove.
It was good Grace didn't give him the opportunity to answer because he was going to answer a particular fase of the moon which he just calculated in his head. Obviously that wasn't what she meant. His face remained neutral and fixed on the water, though, when she said it was the day before christmas.
"Really?" he answered dryly, and entirely indifferent as he tapped his fingers on the countertop while waiting. That was all he had to say about it for now. Christmas was nothing to him but yet another day.
He did throw a glance at the paper when she mentioned it and then turned back to the water.
"I don't know if it's up to date but assuming from the state of the paper and the fact I didn't find it here but in the woman's car I suppose it is. She didn't seem like the most messy type either.. Probably wouldn't let an old newspaper linger in her car."
(Improvising here, give me a break, lol)
Alex:
(sorry, can be such terrible annoying bitch sometimes. Derp)
'Yes, really,' Grace answered him as she stood up now, following him and glancing over his shoulder. She leaned against the sideboard and pressed her lips. Somehow she didn't felt safe here. Not now she'd found a christmas tree in the next room. The fact that Nigel had found the newspaper in the car yesterday was nevertheless quite a relieve, because if he'd find it in here it would've meant that they were possibly here as well.
'Well, then he got ourself a little Christmas present.' She smiled briefly and pursed her lips while staring at him. '-freedom. Sort of at least.' She inhaled again and stared at the newspaper which was still laying on the spot on the table. 'I can't even remember when I last celebrated Christmas, do you? My dad always used to say that we had been naughty so Santa wouldn't come.' A soft laugh escaped her mouth and she took the paper from the table now. 'Such bullshit,' she mumbled then. 'Unbelievably how my dad sucked all the joy out of my youth. Can you imagine what it must have been like? He was insane. I give him that.'
Grace pressed her back against the sideboard and pulled herself on top of it so she sat down on the kitchen dressed. Interested in the front page of the newspaper she brought it closed toward her face, and she pursed her lips while reading some.
'I've never regret that douche his death..'
Nigel:
At first Nigel wisely held silent, just staring at the water as the fist bubbles broke through it. A silence fell after grace had finished talking and, a tad too late, he decided to answer her question anyway.
"I haven't celebrated Christmas since my mother died. I don't really see the point. I remember the times I did, though.. We had a Christmas tree, lots of presents and my mother would cook a delicious meal.." He actually smiled shortly, before the expression died away again entirely. "John wasn't there. He got paid double if he worked on Christmas, he didn't want to miss out on that.."
The water finally began cooking properly and Nigel stopped tapping his fingers.
"I think that was the best thing about Christmas. Knowing for certain he wouldn't come home those days."
He looked back at Grace shortly, watched her read.
"I don't regret it either."
He pursed his lips and then got the pan off the stove, putting off the fire.
Alex:
Grace closely listened to Nigel his lines and stared at the newspaper without reading a thing. She only kept her irises fixed upon the fake Santa on the front pages with a child on his lap - staring lightly afraid at the man with the big white beard. There was no facial expression visible on Grace her face. Only when she realized what Nigel was saying - talking about the fact he was relieved whenever his father wasn't home, letting Christmas be the best time of the year - her mouth corners curled up into a little smile. She lowered the newspaper and dropped the back of her head against the cabinet behind her.
'Sounds familiar,' she whispered. After her father changed in the bad way she always was happy whenever he wasn't home too.
'The Christmas with your mother sounds great. She must have been a wonderful person since you're only talking contemptuously about your father.' She folded the newspaper back to its officially shape and placed it on the empty space next to her as she searched for Nigel his eyes.
'What happened to her?' she suddenly asked softly as she followed Nigel his moves. '-if you want to share it of course... I know she died, you once told about a sacrifice or so if I'm right. How did she died?' She doubted it if he'd killed her. How could he have done that if she'd been someone he loved?
Nigel:
"She was," he confirmed taking the pan off the fire and filling two cups of hot water. If she didn't want it he could just throw it away.
"Tea?" he asked through the conversation, already putting the teabags in the water anyway. He kept silent for a while before he answered, as he mostly did. You'd think he was thinking over a complex answer but mostly it was just quite simple. This time again he wanted to say she's dead, but Grace already continued speaking and he closed his mouth again, eyes fixed on his tea. It wasn't the most comfortable subject for him. Then again, she told him what she did to her family as well.
"She got shot.. The direct murderer was my father, firing off his hunting gun at her in an angry outburst. ... He didn't know what he was doing. I did."
Alex:
Grace nodded briefly as Nigel asked her if she wanted tea, and she crossed her leg over the other as she kept sitting down on the kitchen dresser - very rude, but not that she cared nor Nigel, she thought at least.
Her eyes were fixed upon Nigel's, and she gave him the fullest opportunity to answer her question - if he even would. After all he did gave her an answer, and she nodded lightly as he spoke - staring down at the stone kitchen floor.
'Why would he shoot your mother? There must have been some reason for that- Why should he even wear a gun?' She pressed her lips and pursed them after. She had no idea if she even had the rights to ask about it, but she couldn't keep herself from. She was way too curious. She'd always been - just like the night she went out of her jail to look at Nigel as he got put in an electroshocktherapychair. If she hadn't been there, they would've perhaps never met and this wouldn't have happened. A weird feeling ran through her body, and for a moment she considered staring up - wrapping her arms tightly around Nigel while mumbling caressing words. But she didn't.
'How can your father be that angry...' She shook her head in misunderstood and sighed deeply. 'Sorry for asking that much...'
Nigel:
He smirked shortly and shoved one of the cups towards Grace, making room for him to hoist himself up the dresser next to her.
"Because I wanted him to. Because I couldn't do it.."
He wrapped his hands around the warm cup and took a careful sip, drawing back quickly with the conclusion it was still too hot to drink. Not that it mattered. The warmth of the cup felt good to his fingertips.
"John kept a gun in the foyer, on the wall that held the stairs. It was originally for hunting with his lodge. But he also frequently grabbed at it when he was angry. He mostly used to hit or just to threaten us.. He pulled the trigger only twice. One time to kill my dog. Well- the neighbors dog actually. And when he found me in my parents bedroom, on his side of the bed, after I let some so called 'obscene' pictures of my mom circulate through the lodge. I sat next to her when he killed her.. He cried after that."
Nigel smiled suddenly at the memory, looking up.
"I'd never seen him cry before in my life." Slowly the smile died away. "Then Jack came in. Right on time, precisely as I had planned it, so he could see the sacrifice I made for him. He went in panic, though. I hadn't foreseen that. He took the gun of the ground and pointed it at me.. He was afraid of me. John saw and interfered, catching the bullet for me."
He lifted his eyebrows, for he never quite understood what happened there.
"Apparently he did care what happened to me, somewhere.. It took my mother's death for him to see it. ... Not that it made up anything."
Alex:
Her hand wrapped around the cup of tea as he shoved it towards her and she smiled politely as she lifted it. Slowly she rubbed her tongue over her lips and she kept staring down at the stone floor as he spoke.
'Thanks,' she'd whispered softly through his lines as a grateful response on handing over the tea.
She glanced up as he took place next to her, and she tapped his knee as he did that. Her eyes were fixed upon his now and she slowly blowed to make the tea less warm so she could drink it faster. She wanted to know why he wanted her to die, but then she thought back about the sacrifice.
She held her breath as he spoke of his father hitting them with the gun. She could remember her father doing the same, but he used spades hand shovels. Farming tools in general. She had been lucky that he didn't owned a gun, otherwise there could've happened a lot more worse things. She slowly pulled up her legs and wrapped her other hand around the cup too.
'They did that too to me...' she muttered as she stared at the ceiling - as a response on killing the dog. 'Not killing my dog or so... But they sold all of my horses...' Her voice died away and there was grief noticeable in her voice.
She turned her face next to his and frowned lightly.
'Obscene pictures of your mother? What do you mean? Were they yours?' She dropped her head against the cabinet as he spoke further, not even caring about the answer anymore since she heard him talking about his father killing his mother while sitting next to her.
'That's horrible,' she whispered. 'If you love someone you should never hurt them. Never. And apparently he did, otherwise he would've let Jack kill you. Insane how the forsake of your mother made him realize he loved you- I think Jack killing your father instead of you was the right thing to happen...'
She lightly sucked in her lower lip to bite down on it and she turned her face back to his.
'Like I said. If you love someone you should never hurt them - and vice versa. And apparently you mother did loved your dad, otherwise they would've never end up together.'
Nigel:
He nodded his head, deciding it was finally okay to try and take another careful sip. It was still hot and burnt his tongue slightly but he didn't mind. It was almost soothing.
"You told me, yes.. It's funny how people wish to do that. Take away things that are dear to you, just for the sake of taking it away."
He cocked his head and shrugged his shoulders.
"I took them when she was sleeping. It was just to anger my father.. to get him to do what I wanted."
He looked at Grace shortly and shook his head again, lighter this time. He disagreed.
"It's not.. it was a necessary means to an end. She's at peace now. A lot more peace than she would've had if she was still alive, don't you think?"
He looked away again and gritted his teeth when she told him he must have loved him and his mother. He didn't believe it so. He probably just wanted to protect his property. But when it came to his mother, yes.. She'd loved him once.
"She did love him yes.. far more than was good for her. More than she loved me, or she would've left him sooner. I can't say I blame her.." Ellen was doomed the day she married John.. even more so when she got pregnant of a son that loved her, but loved eternity more.
"...we should discuss or next move. Our plans."
Alex:
'I don't understand those people... I don't understand the human race in general...' She gritted her teeth and hit her eyes, bringing the cup of tea closer to her lips. She smiled lightly as Nigel gave her the rights to know more about the pictures and such, and she nibbled on her lower lip as she nodded. 'Quite smart,' she commented barely audible.
She rushed her hand slowly through her hair and sighed again, nodding agreeing - though she was barely aware of the things he was saying - and she dropped the back of her head against the dresser again.
'You got a point there, but... I mean, hurting in a different way. You did this because you loved her. Taking away her pain, all the sorrow...' Grace pointed her face back to his and lowered her shoulders. 'I bet she's in peace now, yes. Moveover, I was actually talking about your father. You are his son, Ellen was his wife.. You should never vent your anger on those who are so precious to you. Because believe me, deep in his heart you were. And if not...' She pulled up her nostrils while shaking her head. 'Than still. I bet he had no good excuses... Not that any should be-'
She inhaled deeply and lowered her shoulders again, gazing up for Nigel his eyes - realizing she was mulling too much again.
'I'm sorry...' she muttered then - taking a little sip from her tea. 'Yeah yeah...' Her smile disappeared and grief was again visible on her face. 'Yeah, we should talk about our plans...' She tried to smile again, but it became nothing more then a weak curve that lifted up her mouth corners. '-saving Alex.'