Pic; Flynn
a/n: hi! I'd like you to know that I've just dived straight into the book and this first chapter is a little heavy and a little boring too but I promise it will get better. I needed this first chapter to be this way.
P.S. Do check out the trailer and give me a heads up about what you think!
Enjoy! x
-- -- --
00; when realisation slaps you in the face.
-- -- --
Lazily pulling the covers beside me, I wrapped myself up into them, covering my head and making a little gap in it for me to breathe through, but it was when my door slammed open, I jolted and sat up. Seeing it was just my very irritating friend, Wyatt, I sighed and wrapped myself in tighter.
"Hey, you've been like that for the past three days, Flynn." He sighed and took a seat at the edge of the bed. I knew this because I felt the bed dip. "Brought you some breakfast."
"Not hungry." I murmured.
"You need to eat." He ordered, but it was a little useless since I was probably the most stubborn person on earth. I didn't want to leave this bed, I didn't want to face people and I most certainly didn't want to attend my seminar later this afternoon. Maybe I should skip it, but wait, I can't. Our tutors take our attendance for a seminar.
I groaned.
"Flynn, get the hell up and go wash yourself. It smells like somebody died in here." I felt his hand on my head and soon enough, as expected, my body was exposed to the coldness of the room and the blanket was on the floor.
"Wyatt..." I drawled out with as little efforts as possible. It probably wasn't even coherent. Is it wrong that I just want to lie in bed, overthink things and sleep. Maybe even shed a tear or two for no reason.
"I'm worried, you've fallen pretty low lately." He scratched his arm nervously; he knew he was treading on dangerous ground and pushing his boundaries. He had no right whatsoever.
"Go away." I mumbled and turned my body around to face the opposite direction. He sighed, stood up, wrapped my blanket around me again and left. I closed my eyes and relished in the peacefulness, that is until the door burst open again and the blanket was being ripped off me.
"Flynn, up. Now." She said sternly, walking around to the other side of the bed and grabbing my shoulders to help me sit up. I groaned, fought, rebelled and cursed but she managed to force me on my feet and haul me to the kitchen with Wyatt's help.
"You can't take your meds without eating something." She informed me as if I did my know already and placed my breakfast in front of my face.
"Not hungry." I repeated and pushed the bowl away. She glared and sat on the stool beside mine and picked up a spoonful of my food and brought closer to my lips. I grit my teeth and slapped the spoon away, all of the food on it falling over the counter. "I'm not hungry, Mia!"
"Just have a little bit, come on. You have to, otherwise you'll be hungry later on." She begged.
I contemplated it, and frowned as I took the spoon from her delicate fingers and dunked it in the now soggy cereal. I took a few spoonfuls before I felt full enough.
Mia smiled at me and went out of the kitchen but came back shortly after and handing me two pills of Fluoxetine from my bedroom. I mumbled a thanks and swallowed it down with some of the milk from my cereal.
Mia had always been there to take care of me, even though I didn't want her to. That bitch.
"Hey, I knew you're cursing at one of us in your head." Mia mused and cocked a brow, I just snarled and put what was left of my cereal in the bin and gave it a quick rinse in the sink.
"I'm going to go lie in my bed again." I told the two, and left the kitchen in silence. Walking back over to my room, I kicked all the junk that was on the floor to the other side and clambered in my bed again.
I really didn't want to go to my seminar. I had permission to take a break with my condition, and I could always just leave half way through and never come back, but then I'd miss out on a bunch of work.
Business was a field of study I've always enjoyed and this university I'm in is known to be phenomenal for this sector.
I was so excited to finally be in university as well, I was finally able to get away from my new step mum who honestly wears more makeup than she should (it looks like she just dipped her face in a bucket of foundation) and I could finally have a fresh start. Fresh starts are good, or at least I thought so. I miss my buddies, I miss the stupid water fights we would have in the the most craziest weather just for the shits and giggles and I miss my bratty little sister. Sure, I thought I wouldn't miss her but to be honest, I'd kill for her to just be here with me only to watch some kiddie show like Peppa Pig together. That's why thirteen year olds watch nowadays, right?
I hated myself so much right now. I hated myself because I was being a drag and a loser and wasting space in university. My degree in particular only accepted a mere eighty candidates out of one thousand five hundred applicants. I was one of those people who gave a killer personal statement and won over the tutors.
Now, well, I was just a waste of a chance. Somebody else who applied could've taken my place. Somebody who would've taken this more seriously.
A tear slipped from my eyes and I buried my face in my blanket. "Fucking hell." I murmured into the blanket, "I'm not cut out for university."
My door creaked open, but I didn't bother looking to see who it was. I felt somebody's hand soothingly rubbing up and down my back, as if it would help me feel better.
"Flynn, it's okay." Wyatt assured, even though he didn't know the reasoning behind my dropped mood.
"No it's not! I hate it here."
He sighed, "you're especially talented Flynn, you're great at your course. Your lecturer loves you."
"Yeah..." I muttered, she really did see great potential in me. At first I thought she kind of fancied me because she was being super weird around me and not everyone else.
There was a few moments of silence between us. He soothingly rubbed my back while I thought about leaving my course. What's the use anyway?
"I want to go home."
"Flynn..." Wyatt drawled out. "You do realise if you leave, you just lose everything you've been doing for three months."
"I know." I shrugged. "Help me drop out, please?" I forced a smile and gleamed up at him hopefully. The short tufts of his black hair bounced as he gave a reluctant nod.
He helped me sit up, feeling too lazy to sit up myself, and grabbed my towel from my closet for me. "Shower first."
I scoffed and grabbed the towel from his hands, putting it back in the closet and grabbing a random outfit from my drawers. "This is why body spray exists."
It's not that I didn't like showers, I just didn't want one right now. Right now, I just wanted to head to the reception and sign a sheet of paper that allows me to drop out.
I went into my bathroom and changed my clothes and sprayed myself. Fixing my hair just a bit until I was content, I noticed the dark circles under my eyes and how I pretty much looked like a zombie.
"So, have you thought about taking a diploma instead? Or an apprenticeship? They're cool too..." Wyatt trailed off as we walked side by side to the student services.
"Not sure." I shrugged mindlessly. My nerves tingled at the thought of signing that sheet of paper. This was good, this was what I wanted. I was actually feeling excited.
Excited to drop of education.
What a wonderful reason to feel the way I'm feeling now.
The smell of weed smacked us in the face as we stepped outside in the cold December air. Some people were smoking just outside the accommodation in broad daylight where they could easily get caught.
I scrunched up my nose the entire time we walked through the courtyard and headed to the student services building. Wyatt quietly walked beside me, his hands were shoved deep in his pockets and you could tell how cold it was by the way his breath could be seen in the air.
We finally did get to the student services office and relished in the warmth for a few moments before heading over to the desk where a lady looked bored out of her mind.
"Hi." I said politely.
"Oh hello, how may I help you out today?"
"I'd like to drop out." I put bluntly. She gave me a perplexed look before searching through a drawer of her desk and pulling out a leaflet titled 'So You Want To Drop Out Of University!' and handed it to me.
"You'll need to talk to your course leader and attend a meeting with an SSO." She informed and typed on her computer. "Name?"
"Flynn Nathaniel Hopper." I shifted awkwardly in my place as she typed.
"When is the best time for a meeting with an SSO?"
"Uh... Now?"
She sighed and looked on her computer, "There's an SSO free today at 5pm because an appointment was cancelled yesterday, luckily for you. Please be sure to discuss this with your family, friends and course leader. If you drop out now, and decide to come back, you won't be able to pick up where you left off."
"Yeah, okay..." I muttered. I probably wasn't going to do those things anyway. If anything, I would probably try get straight into work. She printed out a piece of paper that told me the details of the meeting and went on her break.
"Let's go talk to your course leader." Wyatt mused.
"Wyatt..." I drawled out, "not in the mood."
"Come on Flynn." He yanked my sleeve and starting dragging me to the main building where the lecture theatres and classroom are.
Hours passed with arguments and cursing. Firstly, I had another row with Mia about eating a big lunch so I could take my meds. Secondly, my lecturer and course leader were ganging up on me and persuading me to stay, then Mia and Wyatt called my family up and Informed them of my decision, which obviously didn't go down well with them and then my SSO was naming every single reason why I was making a bad decision as if I hadn't heard those same reasons enough by everybody else. Including my flat mates, who barely knew me because I didn't even socialise with them enough throughout the short period of time I had known them.
"Should you even be trying to change my decision? Aren't you meant to discussing with me about alternatives and such?" I glared at my SSO, who just stared at me blankly. I didn't care if I was being rude, I honestly just wanted that stupid form in front of me to sign. "Fine."
He clicked a button on the computer and the printer behind him woke up, startling me slightly with the loud noise. It starting printing a couple pages and the balding SSO collected the form from the printer and stapled it before handing it over to me. "If you really want to go forward with this, then you can. I take you've—"
"-Spoken to my course leader, my family, friends, adviser, blah de blah de blah." I grunted and squeezed the headphone wires hanging down my torso with my index and thumb.
He cleared his throat, clearly not content with my rudeness. I didn't care.
I leaned forward eagerly, picking up the pen and twisting it around in my fingers as I read through the application. My fingers trembled slightly, probably from the adrenaline running through my veins.
Some of the information was already there, like my name, date of birth, home address, family emergency contacts, course and picture. All I had to do was write down a reason and sign it off.
Full Name: Flynn Nathaniel Hopper
D.O.B: 16th July 1995
Course: Business Management and Marketing With A Year Abroad
Leaving Date: 14th December 2013
Reason: Decision to do another type of higher education
I probably wasn't going to do an alternative education, but as my mind skimmed for reasons, all I wanted to write was 'unhappy', 'not cut out', 'homesick' and 'waste of time'.
There was a couple pointless questions like if I had applied for a loan or if I had any criminal offences so I just quickly answered them and handed the few sheets of paper back. He read through it and filed them.
"Okay, so, your room needs to be cleared out by Tuesday morning and you'll receive a letter at home that will say you're officially out. Is there anything else I may help you with?"
"No." I put vaguely and stood up off my seat, "thanks for your time. Luckily there was a cancellation, right?" I probably would've had to wait up to a week of there wasn't.
He rolled his eyes at me and shook my hand before I left out the door. Wyatt and Mia were on the other side and Mia's entire face was wet and Wyatt seemed glum and sullen. This is my fault, they're all sad and and it's all because of me. God, as if I didn't feel terrible enough already, I've hit a new low.
"I'm sorry." I muttered to them and walked towards the exit so I can go straight to my accommodation and text my friends from home about my arrangements. I highly doubt even getting home In one piece would be an option if I call my dad and I really didn't want to call my stepmum. She was a bitch.
Some of my other flat mates were outside, telling me how much they'd miss my craziness and cheeky innuendos and if I thought I had made a right decision. At least leaving would mean they didn't have to deal with those times when my mood completely drops. Nobody liked those.
I waved at them and zipped my coat up before heading over to my accommodation that was a fifteen minute walk away. I pulled the headphones that were around my neck over my ears and pressed the shuffle button on my music playlist.
I was making the correct choice, I knew I was. I wasn't happy here, I didn't enjoy living three whole hours away from home. I didn't enjoy my course even though I'm good at it and I didn't like feeling so alone and only being surrounded by people who I've only known since September. I missed feeling whole every time I look into the eyes of my best friends at home, the people who knew me and understand me more than I ever understood myself. I just felt so lonely all the time.
I missed dad too, he had always been a best friend to me and even though he sometimes got angry easily, he figured it out. Like that day I told him I was bisexual; he was livid for some reason but he was super cool with it after he got past the initial shock. He told me he was just angry at himself for not knowing his only son well enough to figure it out.
I smiled to myself just a little at all the memories I had I'm that small town. I was a freaking bum boy, how is that for cringe?
Leaving here might just be the best decision I've made in a long time.
--- --- ---
A/N: I promise I won't be spamming you with author's notes in every chapter! Tell me what you thought of this chapter! What do you think is up with Flynn?