Chapter 30:
He released my arm, but continued to speak. “You must have cut it when you were climbing down the building.”
I nodded, closing my hand around my blood coated limb. Why was it that I always got hurt? I didn't remember getting it, but there were a lot of things I couldn't remember. The pain must have been dulled by the adrenaline, but now that my attention had been drawn to it, I felt the throbbing and my arm began to shake. Looking away from the disaster, I took in the appearances of my two friends, really seeing them for the first time since the raid.
The cloud of fog and confusion had been lifted, and my eyes widened in shock. Julian appeared to be relatively unscathed, but Ian looked almost worse than me. His left cheek was swollen, and I saw the beginnings of a nasty bruise. Blond curls were matted with sweat, and a little bit of what appeared to be blood. A gash had split the fabric of his shirt, right around the shoulder. Blood dripped from the opening.
Following my eyes, he lifted his hand to cover it. The fog of battle must have been effecting him as well.
“I must have been grazed.” His voice was weaker than before, as if it was just catching up with him.
Before I has time to process, there was a ding and the elevator doors slid open. I guess I had to be thankful that the bullet hadn't hit him. The scratch that currently dripped blood, could have been much, much worse.
At our door, Julian slid the card into the slot, and for a second I was confident that we would make it without contact with the adults.
“Oh my god.” It was Erica's voice.
I did not turn to face her. Ian entered the room, and I was about to follow.
“Jaylee.” James's voice froze me in my tracks.
He had not hesitated as Erica had, at the sight of us. Instead, he moved down the hallway with new urgency. Using my elbow, I pushed Julian inside the hotel room; prepared to follow him.
“Wait, Jaylee... wait.” He came to a stop, holding his hands up in front of him, as if he was attempting not to frighten me. “You're bleeding... a lot. You need to slow down and tell us what happened. Plus, your cast is all scratched up, we probably need to go back to the hospital. Not to mention that you've somehow managed to misplace your crutches, and that piece of wood isn't going to do a thing.”
Before I could even begin worrying about creating a response, Ian had grabbed me, pulling me into the room.
“Go stop the bleeding.” It was in no way an order, more of a reminder. “We'll take care of her leg.” He'd closed the door half way, and was speaking to James through the crack.
Knowing that my judgment might be impaired by blood loss, I retreated to the bathroom, grabbing one of the painfully white towels from the sink. When enough of the blood had been cleared that I was able to see the scratch, I realized that it wasn't really all that bad. The only reason there had been such an excessive amount of blood was that it zig-zagged back and forth across a major vein.
Wrapping it in the one remaining clean towel and binding it with medical tape, I headed back out into the room. The door to the other was open, and the voices of my friends came from just out of sight. Grabbing two bags with the hand that was neither bleeding nor holding my cane, I pushed my way through the half closed door.
“Shit!” Ian swore. “Be more careful with what you're doing.”
He sat shirtless on one of the beds, allowing Julian to attend to his shoulder wound.
“Just suck it up.” The brunette was intent on the task in front of him.
He worked with a needle, pulling a thread in and out of Ian's flesh. With this medical inclination shown by even Julian, I began to feel slightly embarrassed of my towel cast.
“Is that room clear?” Ian spoke directly to me; teeth digging into his bottom lip.
He was trying to distract himself from the field medicine being practiced on his shoulder. I obliged him.
“Yeah, I think. But I could take another look.”
He nodded, still biting heavily on his lower lip. His green eyes held a different sort of glaze, and I knew that the pain was effecting him more than he'd like to show to Julian. I had to do something to distract him, especially if it answered some of my questions in the process.
“What happened to James and the police?” I looked warily over at the door. “They didn't just go away.”
“They didn't.” Ian's voice was fairly level. “They said they were going to get an extra card from the lobby. They are paying for the room. I was hoping we'd be looking a little less bloody when they showed up.”
I nodded. “Makes sense. We wouldn't want to have them panicking. Although...” I poked the emerging bruise on his face. “I don't think you're going to be able to hide this. Not unless Julian brought his secret stash of makeup.”
Ian winced but he was smiling. “You are different, you know? More like you used to be. You changed a lot over the last year.”
“Really?” I shrugged.
The word was innocent enough but I could tell he saw how much relief I was feeling. Maybe the vicious, violent monster I dreaded remembering was not my true self. It was really logical. Of course I'd go back to my true self after losing all the things weighing down on my mind.
“Done!” Julian cheered. “We'll get Denis or Emme to take the stitches back out. I'm not exactly cut out for this sort of thing.”
At my questioning look, Ian offered more explanation. “They teach all of us field medicine. But usually the ones who aren't off doing extensive physical training cover it more thoroughly.”
We'd barely had time to pack another bag, when the sound of the door opening jolted me into a fighting stance.
“It's okay.” James stepped smoothly through the door. “It's just us. It's okay, whatever happened, you can tell me. What happened to the others?”
He sounded hurt, frightened almost. Of course he was, I was being so selfish. Here we were, all beaten and bloody, with more than half of our group missing.
“The others are fine.” Ian's voice was hard, but he looked down at the floor.
James let out an audible sigh of relief.
“Well then... Are you going somewhere?”
He had noticed our packed bags.
“No.” Erica had entered the room as well. “They are not. They're staying right here.”
Ian took a menacing step forwards and, behind us, Julian had not stopped packing.
“Wait, wait, wait!” I held my hands in the air, trying to stop the situation before it began. “We found Denis... You know him as Naithen. He's going to try to get me back my memories, and I don't want to waste any more time than I have to.”
“You really think he can make you remember?” James sounded skeptical, but at least he hadn't outright forbidden us to leave.
“Of course not!” Erica's face was turning red. “That's ridiculous. They cut us out of the loop, then run off and do... Do, whatever the hell it is they do. Now, they're trying to ditch us all together.” She hit the wall. “How old are you guys anyways? Fifteen? Sixteen? I don't understand how we're even considering letting them walk out this door.” Now she was speaking to her partner, Leon.
“We're leaving...” Ian took a step forwards, his fists hovering near his sides.
Panic rising in the pit of my stomach, I placed a hand on one of his shoulders.
“I understand your concern.” I tried to sound civil, fighting down the urge to do as Ian was attempting to, and simply force them to let us go. “But we're not cutting you out of the loop. We just need... a couple of days to let Denis work. You can stay in Washington, or go back to Fresno and keep working the case. Act like you didn't get us involved in the first place. There has to be a bunch of leads you can follow up on. What about that Chris guy?”
“But that's stupid!” Erica didn't appeared to be threatened by Ian and I. “If your friends already know what's going on, why can't they just tell us?”
Ian spoke again, in a much calmer voice. “Because you wouldn't believe us.”
“What?”
“He's right,” I joined in. “It's better that you figure out what's going on, your way. It's more legit that way.”
Erica hit the wall again, and made a move towards us, but Leon was holding her arm. “Wait just one second. Maybe we should let them go.”
I was seriously taken aback. Leon was definitely not the one I'd expected to defend me. What was James thinking?
As if responding to my mental request, he spoke. “We are going to let them go.” He assisted Leon in holding back Erica. “On one condition. We're going to have be able to contact you at all times.” His eyes locked with mine. “You understand?”
“Yeah.” I looked over at Ian. “That sounds fair.”
Leon provided us with a disposable cell, and he and James even helped us pack. I couldn't help noticing that Erica was nowhere to be seen. Much to my relief, Leon told us that they would not be contacting Dosle with an update until we'd already left the premisses.
Using our other phone, we got in touch with Jake, who told us how to get to our new base of operations. A condemned apartment complex wasn't exactly on the same level as the hotel we'd just left, but with a bit of TLC it would do just fine.
Up on the eighth floor, I was shown to a room with nothing but an old mattress. The others went out scavenging—for money and medical supplies—leaving me with the three geniuses. With each new load of supplies, Denis would add to the increasingly frightening setup he planned to use to return my memories. He must have notice my wide eyes—when he attached a set of restraints to the mattress's newly constructed frame—because he spoke.
"It's not going to be pleasant." He was apologetic. "But I can't think of any other way to do it."
"Whatever it takes." I was trying to keep my voice level, but I was deeply opposed to the idea of anyone messing around in my head.
Ian had explained to me, earlier, the nature of the psychological operations facility we'd saved Denis from. The idea repulsed me. It seemed like cheating, to fight a war where there was no danger to the one attacking; where they weren't even able to trust their emotions.
"You ready?" Ian placed his hand on my shoulder.
I had been staring out the window, trying not to let my natural curiosity get to me. It was better that I didn't see what they were planning to do to me. Outside, the first rays of sunlight were just beginning to poke over the horizon. It had taken them all night, but I was still amazed at their efficiency. Denis had called for a list of strange sounding medications, and whether they'd stolen them or bought them, they couldn't have been easy to get.
"Yes." I let my shoulders sag, counting my breaths as they moved through my lips.
My eyes came to rest on the restraints, and on the IV hanging from a bag of clear liquid. Ian and I shuddered in sync. I might as well get this over with.
On the bed, restraints tightened, and needle placed in my arm; I was struggling to keep my breathing level. Jake, Emme, and Denis fussed around me. The rest of my friends sat on the floor a meter away, as if held back by an invisible wall. I struggled to hide the panic, as I met all of their eyes in turn, before moving back to Ian's. He was as terrified as me, I could feel it.
It came first as a nothingness. I was floating in the black space of my mind; yet no matter how hard I tried, I could not focus in on any of the memories surrounding me. Suddenly, there was a pain in my chest, unlike anything I'd ever felt before. It burned through every vein in my body, contracting every muscle against my will.
I screamed, arching my back, unable to control the urge to move. Every muscle worked liked it had never worked before. I fought the blackness with strength I hadn't thought possible but it was unmovable, pushing in from all sides. Claustrophobia began to set in, and I began to scream again.
No control. I had no control.
My eyes flew open, and my neck turned up as far as possible. Denis was an inch from my face, his blue eyes wide with shock. All over me I felt hands; restraining, helping the straps.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Someone swore. I couldn't tell who.
Then, the darkness was closing in again. I screamed, and thrashed, but it was hard to tell whether I was fighting in the physical world or the one of my memories. Eventually, I found that there was a pattern to the disorganized pounding of my blood through my veins. I was in control again. I could feel every corner of my mind; more in reach than they'd ever been. With one last push, I slammed my body against the blackness. This time it shattered, releasing a tsunami of images.