I was still looking at Charlie with utter shock and absolute bafflement. Emanuele helped me escape Jade. My mind kept repeating those words over and over again but refused to register the meaning behind them. I was so sure of the monster Emanuele was and was trying to come to terms with the obscure knowledge of how I could love someone who had such violent tendencies, who only knows how to hurt people and have no regards for humanity! Who doesn't even flinch when he pulls a trigger on someone and even makes me question my morality and humaneness! My love for Emanuele is irrational and illogical in every sense of the two words and has made me question my sanity a million times.
But the truth was I was coming to terms with it. I was willing to accept I was insane for loving such an inhuman human, it was better than living in denial. I was ready to accept what a vile specimen he was and look past all his atrocities because I was weak enough not to deny my heart what it wanted. I thought losing so much in my life, the grief I felt and the loneliness I was experiencing was enough to drive me crazy and make me find solace in the arms of someone like Emanuele who played a big part in making me feel the grief that I felt. I fell in love with someone who made my brother go through hell, and I felt ashamed of it. But even shame was better than denial.
I had long ago accepted the fact that Emanuele was a sadistic murderer who will never leave his victim alive and is never going to change. But now...now hearing my brother say that Emanuele was the reason he was alive today, made my whole words tilt upside down. It made me reevaluate everything I thought and considered Emanuele to be. It took me months to figure out and make up my mind about him, to accept him for who he is and still be with him without making myself look like a bad guy or an accomplice. Someone who was attracted to a killer!
But now hearing about a man who could do nothing but cause mischief, do something good in his life and spare someone made me see him in a whole new light, see him with a new perspective, forced me to change the way that I think about him and question myself whether a man like Emanuele was capable of really changing, or doing something good!
It amazed and shocked me at the same time.
I stared at Emanuele then and this time his eyes were solely on me. He saw every expression that crossed my face and all the questions that filled my eyes. He saw the change in my opinion about him, he saw the gratefulness on my face for him and saw the apology in my eyes for my words earlier. He did nothing but looked away.
"How?" my voice conveyed the confusion I felt at this new revelation. It was the only question that I deemed appropriate to ask. How was this possible? How can someone change so drastically? Wasn't he the one who always threatened me about my brother? Didn't he tell me how much he hated Charlie and I and considered us to be the scheming siblings?
How can he spare the lives that he hated?
Because Emanuele just didn't spare my brother's life but mine as well, not once but several times, even when he threatened to kill me himself. So what should I make of this situation? What was he playing at? I thought Emanuele helped me because some part of him still cared about me; he protected me because he cared! Was it the same part in him that convinced him to let my brother go?
I saw my brother as he exchanged a look with Emanuele, who was still leaning against the tree, trying not to care about the sibling's reunion. My brother looked back at me and his eyes softened when he saw the mess I was at the moment. I just needed stability because my whole world was shaken up and for that I needed answers.
"When they figured out I was the mole, they locked me up Jade." Charlie began with difficulty as if the mere remembrance of the things happened to him caused him pain. "For a few months I was in the basement of their headquarters but after that they moved me to somewhere else... I don't know what that place was but I remember that it was always dark and I was sedated most of the time because I struggled so much. I can just tell you Jade that the things that happened to me, they messed me up." Tears filled his eyes. "It was painful... excruciating not only because of the physical torture but because I so desperately wanted to get out of there and come back home to you. Or I wanted someone to end it so badly, so I could just go and meet mom and dad." A shudder passed his body and he closed his eyes. I immediately grabbed onto his hand and felt the tremors he was experiencing as he relived the memories he badly wanted to get rid of. I know, I could relate because that is exactly how I felt when I was abducted in Sicily and the only person who got me through it was Emanuele. I strongly believed and hoped at the time that he would come and save me and it will all be over soon, but for Charlie... He had no hope that someone would look for him, a sister who didn't even know where he was until it was too late and a lieutenant who had no leads. And when there is no hope, wishing for death seems like the only way.
"They will starve me for days Jade and beat me to a pulp on a daily basis, but the only person on my mind in those agonizing times was you Jade. You got me through it." He pulled me back on his chest as I cried. "And when Emanuele told me that you were looking for me by pretending to be with him and Ben was supporting you, I got scared Jade. I begged him not to hurt you. I was afraid and didn't want what happened to me to happen to you sis. I even bargained my life for yours." Charlie cupped my face and looked into my eyes. "But then he made a deal with me. The deal was that I will be freed if only I accepted certain conditions. I was to run away far from here where nobody could get to me. I was to forget about my old life, I was not allowed to go back to work, not allowed to see either you or Ben and I could not reveal anything to anyone about the time I spent with them or their secrets. It was the only way he agreed to let you live."
I glanced at Emanuele from the corner of my eyes and he was still looking away. "He helped me escape with Dario's help who took me to Emanuele's place where I was staying for some time until they arranged everything for me to flee the country. I was informed about how his boss figured about you and my escape and how angry he was, hunting for our blood. Emanuele wasn't suspected for treachery when I ran away but Raimondo came to know of his betrayal when he let you live Jade. And now he is on their list too." Charlie shook his head with sadness in his eyes. "Why did you do it Jade, why did you risk your life? You know how incredibly stupid it was, brave yes but mostly stupid! I wanted to scream my head off when I came to know what you were doing and Ben was taking your side?" he exclaimed in disbelief. "How could he when it was his job to look after you? Before I left, I made him promise that he would take care of you if I didn't make it. He was supposed to keep you out of danger and..."
"It wasn't Ben's fault Charlie... it was mine. I forced him; I wouldn't listen to him but only blamed him for your disappearance." I took a shaky breath. "I thought I failed you and it is my responsibility as your sister to save you and protect you. I felt like I failed our parents." I glanced at our parents' graves. "I thought they would want me to do everything to save you, to prevent your death come hell or high water. I had to save you Charlie because I know you would have done the same if our roles were reversed."
His eyes watered even more. "You silly girl... It is my duty as your brother to protect you, not yours. I should be considered responsible because if not for me we both wouldn't be in this mess. I was stupid and careless with my life and in the process I endangered yours as well. It is me who failed to protect you Jade...it is my fault!"
I shook my head vehemently and wrapped my arms around him again. How could he even think that! He was the best brother in the world and he has always supported me, been my backbone and a shoulder to cry on when I needed him. He was always there and I know that our relationship was strong enough that we could die for each other.
"I so want to lecture you on your safety as I always have and scold you for what you did for me but I missed you so much and I don't have the strength to say anything to you." I chuckled as he said that with his admonishing tone which sounded weird since both of our voices were hoarse from crying so much. "I love you sis." He said while rubbing my back.
"I love you too." My whole body shook again and Charlie tightened his grip on me, kissing the top of my head.
"I have to go Jade." he made me face him again. "I am leaving the country for good and I am not allowed to see you after this..." he said while glancing at Emanuele. "He wanted me to see you for the last time before I left, so you could believe that I wasn't dead...but as long as I stay here everyone will be in danger, especially you. And I can't have that."
"Where are you going?" I asked wide eyed.
He bit his lip. "I don't think I can even tell you that. But know this Jade." he said somberly while cupping my cheek so my attention was solely on him. "No matter what happens you are not going to give up, understood?" he shook me so I could get it through my head. "You are going to survive and try everything in your power to escape. And know that even though we may possibly not see each other again or even talk, but I will always love you sis and always be thankful because it is you who I consider my savior and my hero."
A sob escaped from the both of us simultaneously. He briefly rested his forehead on mine and then stared at our parents' graves. "You were right about Jade mom and dad. She is amazing...exceptionally brave and compassionate. I am lucky to have her as my sister." He looked at me adoringly and then back at their graves. "Thank you for taking care of us, wherever you both are. I know you are looking out for us and will continue to do so. We both miss and love you. Always will." He kissed the palm of his hand and caressed both their gravestones with it; I repeated his action, because probably this was the last time we both were here to visit them.
He turned to Emanuele. "Thank you for everything you have done, especially what you are doing for Jade. I may don't know the reason for it but I am glad. Please keep her safe!" He pleaded.
Emanuele stared at Charlie for a long time and then just nodded his head.
He then took my hands in his. "Take care of yourself. Stay alive." He ordered.
"You do too." I whispered. Charlie smiled and hugged me for the last time before turning and walking away from me.
I didn't want him to go because I know I wouldn't be able to see him again. Probably not ever. And that made my heart clench to such an extent that it was difficult to breathe. It was like I was losing him all over again. I wish he could stay, wished he could run away with me so we won't have to be separated ever again, or be apart from each other. We could be a family again. But his safety was above my wishes. Charlie was right; we have to go our separate ways because the chances of us getting caught if we are together are high. It was safer this way because even if one of us is captured the other one will be out of the harm's way or at least may be able to help. I could understand his reasons for us not being together but still the thought of never seeing my brother again was enough to push me into a crying frenzy.
I didn't notice when Emanuele moved from his place against the tree but in a moment he was in front of me. His face was although hard, I could see compassion in his eyes and that again made me question if he was really capable of changing?
He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it and although I wanted him to embrace me, I tried to bury that thought at the back of my mind. Now was not the time. Even though he has done so much for me already, I am still not sure if he is ready to forgive me yet for my betrayal to him. So hoping for his physical strength and support was asking too much.
"We have to go."
I nodded my head and stared at my parents' graves for the last time. I could feel it in me. I know I wasn't a disappointment to them anymore. My brother was alive and all that guilt I had in me for months was gone. I felt like living after such a long time and the idea of keeping myself alive just like I promised my brother didn't sound so bad.
And I had Emanuele, and much to my surprise I had a new kind of respect for him. The thought of my brother being dead and him being responsible for it was enough to hold be back from making my move on him, or to make amends. But now that I know Charlie is unharmed and will be safe, I had a sudden urge to be with him. And if we are alive at the end of this journey, I would be willing to do anything to earn his forgiveness.
I followed him out of the cemetery where he held the passenger door open for me. After getting in the car himself he connected the wires together and we were on our way.
For a whole hour neither of us spoke, we both were deep in our own thoughts, sighing from time to time. He took the same path which we had taken before and soon we were outside of the county again. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. There was a frown on his face and his eyes were squinted as if he was concentrating hard. I wanted to say something to make the air less awkward, but words seemed to be stuck in my throat. Maybe it was the shock of seeing Charlie again or knowing that Emanuele was responsible for him being alive. Or maybe it was both!
"Thank you!" I whispered in an extremely low voice which even I barely heard. For a moment I thought he didn't hear me, but his head turned my way and he met my eyes. His jaw clenched and then he was staring straight ahead again.
"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what I did to him while he was in our custody. He deliberately missed out on a lot of details Jade and I am sure you don't want to know about them. But just know that I made his imprisonment hell for him. I tortured him so much that he would beg me to end it and I would laugh and make him suffer more." I averted my eyes from his face in disgust. "Do you still think you should be thanking me?" his voice although was soft still held no remorse. Or maybe he wanted me to think like that. He was doing everything in his power to make me hate him but I have made up my mind and will not let him push me away. I know he is telling the truth and he did all those things to Charlie but the important thing was that Charlie was free now, and he will not have to go through that ever again. At least that is what I hoped for!
That was still enough for me to be grateful to Emanuele.
"But he will be okay now, because of you."
He scoffed but didn't say anything.
"When did you let him go?"
He inhaled while contemplating on the answer. "Before I came to shoot you that night... Raimondo came to know who David really was and his relationship to you. He was livid and I knew his next move would have been to dispose of your brother. I helped him get away before Raimondo could get to him."
I gasped inaudibly and stared at him stunned. All this time he kept threatening me, threatened Charlie, told me my brother could not be saved, made me think that I was too late to do anything and all I ever did was for nothing. But all along he had helped Charlie escape and was keeping him at his residence, under his protection!
I didn't know what to feel about that, but I still felt grateful!
"And Raimondo didn't suspect you?"
"No, he suspected a traitor in the family, but it being me was nowhere in his mind."
I could understand that because I know how explicitly Raimondo trusted Emanuele. So I could only imagine how enraged and in disbelief he would have been when he found out about Emanuele's treachery.
"Why can't I know where Charlie is going?"
He inhaled. "Because it is better that way. At least if one of you gets caught, the other won't be able to disclose any information." He glanced sideways at me and saw the worry on my face. "Don't worry none of you will get caught, I will make sure of it."
Somehow the way he said it made my chest tighten. There was a meaning behind his words, one which I could not understand. It made me stare at him so I could figure it out, but as usual he was able to mask his emotions well. He was a pro at it.
"Why did you do it?" I felt him stiffen but I still probed. "Why help me and my brother? Why save both our lives after everything we have done? Why risk yourself as well?"
"It is irrelevant Jade." he answered after a very long pause.
"But..." before I could finish my sentence he parked the car in front of a diner.
"We didn't have breakfast yet." He opened his door and got out leaving me hanging, as if expecting me to follow him. When I got out of my daze, I did the same. I wanted to ask him my questions but he was trying to dodge, delay and ignore them at every step.
The diner was a small place en route to the highway and had a few cars parked beside ours. The place almost looked empty and isolated. I followed him inside where all eyes turned to us, including those of the staff and the folks at the other two occupied tables. They remained on us until we were seated at the far end corner next to the window. A waitress handed us our menus and we ordered, I with much obstinacy because I didn't feel like eating due to the knot I felt in my stomach, but a glare from Emanuele made me yield.
"Where are we going?"
He stared out of the window. "Jacksonville."
I raised my eyebrow. "Why Jacksonville?"
"Because it is safer than other cities. Raimondo has minimal to no contacts over there whatsoever. We are going to spend a night in a hotel there and tomorrow leave the state."
"And where will we be going outside Florida?"
"Leave it to me Jade." he dismissed me again making me scowl at him. Our food arrived where he heartily devoured his, I on the other hand played with mine. My mind was on a lot of things and nourishment was the last thing that I needed. So after taking three bites, I set my plate aside and stared out of the window. I could feel his eyes on the side of my head, but I paid him no mind. He can't force nor expect me to follow his every command.
My eyes went on a phone booth a few feet away from the diner. I know I had decided to leave my old life behind but I just wanted to say good bye for the very last time. I will probably never get to see everyone that I care about again and I will regret it if I never got to say a proper good bye to them.
"Do you have some coins?" I turned to Emanuele.
He looked up from his food and stared at me in question.
"I just have to make a call." I gestured towards the phone booth.
He sighed and retrieved some coins from his back pocket, handing them to me. "Thanks. I will be right back."
He suddenly grabbed my hand, making me glare at him. His own eyes held a warning. "Be careful Jade. Don't reveal any information."
I nodded my head and got up when he released my hand and went back to his food. I rushed outside of the diner. Again all eyes followed me including his which I could feel piercing a hole into the back of my head. I paced towards the booth, looking around me as if to see anything suspicious or out of the ordinary. We were still very much in a dangerous jurisdiction and if we get caught, that would be a blunder on my part.
I entered the booth and after inserting some coins, quickly dialed the number, which I know I would be dialing for the last time.
The phone was answered on the third ring. "Hello."
"Hello Eve!"
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