Alright guys heres the latest chapter! I want to thank you all for your comments and continued support of my story, as always it's lovely to get your feedback! I really appreciate you guys reading - even if you don't vote or comment, I just love the fact that you enjoy my writing! If you haven't checked out the teaser trailer for the end of the book here is the link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWYl2d1nycM - and I would love to know what you guys think of it. Anyway, I tried to keep this chapter clean for the majority of readers so enjoy! Love you guys xo
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Hermione tried to hold back her tears and she stormed back to the common room. How could he do that? She was probably angrier at the fact that he had waited until the day before exams to tell her than she was about what had happened.
Deep down she knew that he didn’t mean it. She just needed tome to cool down and focus on her exams. It’s not like what he had done didn’t hurt her, of course it did. She wasn’t going to let him just walk all over her, she knew they would have to talk it out. Clearly he was sorry but she couldn’t understand why he didn’t just say no, why he couldn’t have told her to leave him alone. He did it once didn’t he? He left her waiting on the train at Christmas.
Stop it, she told herself, you have bigger things to worry about.
Draco sat with his head in his hands on the couch of the room of requirement. Why did he tell her? Why did he do it in the first place? God, he hated himself in that moment. He wanted to tear the room apart but instead he maintained a firm grip in his hair.
What if she never forgave him?
Don’t be stupid, of course she’s not going to forgive you. You betrayed her.
Then there was the question of whether he should tell her about the plans.
Maybe they wouldn’t have the potion ready on time.
Maybe they would take their attack elsewhere.
Maybe they were all in irrevocable trouble.
He couldn’t think about all of this now. What was the point of failing all of his exams? What was the point in even doing them? They meant nothing if he faced a life in prison for associating with them.
He knew that he had to tell her. The question was when?
Hermione cleared her head, she put everything aside and let the textbook engulf her the night before her first written exam. When she was too exhausted to think she collapsed in a chair by the fire with weary bloodshot eyes.
Ginny came to sit by her and looked over.
“Are you alright Hermione? You look a bit off.” She said.
“I’m fine Ginny; I just have an exam in the morning is all.”
“Are you sure that’s all?”
Hermione nodded and Ginny picked up one of her books to keep reading, she was finishing off her OWLS this year and halfway through her exams.
After a while of silence Hermione spoke up.
“Ginny? What would you do if… if Harry kissed another girl?” She didn’t look up but Ginny shifted her eyes over to her.
“Why? Is something going on?”
“No, no, I was just thinking. It’s one of those things isn’t it?”
Ginny nodded, “well would he have just kissed her or… taken it further?”
“Just a kiss.” Hermione said, because that was all he had told her.
Maybe there was more, but she had to be able to take his word, didn’t she.
“Well I suppose I would give him a good yelling at and probably ignore him for a few days… but I think I would forgive him.”
Hermione looked up. “Really?”
“Well, people make mistakes I guess. And I know he’d be sorry, you know what he’s like, he wouldn’t want to hurt anyone, especially me.”
Hermione thought about it. Draco had always been so apologetic about everything he had done. He was so gentle and caring with her and she knew how Pansy set him off. The one thing that bothered her the most was that he waited this long to tell her, not to mention the fact that he waited until right before exams.
“Plus, a kiss is just a kiss really.” Ginny added, breaking Hermione out of her thoughts.
“I suppose so.”
“In all seriousness you don’t know something do you because I will march up there and tear into him.” Ginny said and Hermione managed a laugh.
“No! I don’t.” They talked for a little more before Hermione retreated to bed before her exam.
She was going to need an impossibly good sleep before tomorrow.
Draco woke up on the morning of the charms theoretical exam feeling like crap. He rubbed his eyes and sighed as he threw on his clothes and pushed his hair back.
He was just going to have to do the best he could but he was so distracted.
He headed down to the hall where there were rows of seats set up for their exams and waited to be ushered to his seat. It was the same one as always and he looked back a little to see if she was seated yet.
She was taking deep breaths to concentrate. Her eyes flickered up to him and he swallowed hard, that vulnerable look clear on his face. She sent him a small sympathetic smile before looking down at her paper.
He spun back around and exhaled. She wasn’t totally repulsed by him.
“Before we commence I will go through with you the rules and structure of the examination…” the stiff looking woman here to supervise the exam began speaking and suddenly he felt ill.
So it begins.
After the exam Draco ran to catch up with her outside the hall. He felt pretty good about his exam and so he had a little more confidence in talking to her. He tapped her shoulder and when she saw that it was him he took her hand and guided her into a hidden corner.
“What are you doing?” She asked, looking around.
“You know that I’m sorry, I just wanted to make sure-”
“Draco! Stop.” She said, putting her hands on his shoulders. “I forgive you okay? But you just need to leave me alright? You dropped this on me right before exams and I need to focus so please just let me do that.”
“But I-”
“No buts! Please, I forgive you but I just need to focus right now. I’ll see you after the last exam.” She gave him a small smile and pulled away from him.
He wanted to tell her about the possible attacks but he didn’t want to burden her during exams. It’s not like it would matter though…
Still, he had to leave her. It’s what she wanted… but she forgave him. He sighed a little. His guilt was still crushing but if she forgave him and wanted to see him again after exams then she must not want this to end.
He headed off to the grounds before the practical exam and sat in the warm sunlight. Pansy soon came to sit next to him.
“Where did you run off to after the exam?” She asked.
“Out here.” He said, pulling out his wand and casting a few simple charms that he knew he would be tested on.
Pansy watched him with a kind of transfixed stare. After a while of this she spoke up again. “I still haven’t heard anything from them.” She rested her head on her hands and squinted a little in the light.
Draco didn’t say anything, he just practiced another spell.
“Maybe they’re not even coming.” She muttered.
“That’d be a bummer.” He muttered back sarcastically.
“Of course it would be. I’m not risking everything for nothing.” She hissed.
“So why do we have to?” He asked, almost sounding sincere.
“Because they deserve to be punished!” She spat.
He rolled his eyes and his spell went wrong.
“They humiliated us! They say they want equality but they want to put us beneath them. Us, of all wizards.”
Something in her eyes told him that she was hurting but right at that moment he didn’t care about Pansy.
“Something will be done.” She said through clenched teeth.
“Yeah, I guess it will.” He said under his breath.
The exam period lasted a while longer. He didn’t talk to her at all, he let her have time.
He managed to get through the rest of his exams with a little more ease.
She forgave him at least, that much he knew. The only worrying part was whether she could do it a second time when she found out the whole truth.
He was sure that he passed his potions final without difficulty. It was much better with one of the officials than it was with that brainless professor Slughorn. His final exam was transfiguration.
He had moved through all the simpler tasks quickly but had finally started to struggle. He was on his third attempt at the final transfiguration and he was starting to break a sweat.
Eventually he completed it and he was free to go. It was done, finished. His school life was finally over after eight long years.
Tonight was the final school dinner for all the years. The younger years left in the morning while the sixth and seventh years stay for an extra two days, the sixth to take their apparition exam and the seventh to graduate.
Draco headed down in his full robes and cap, feeling ridiculous as he did every year. He felt no comfort in the fact that everyone else was dressed the same, though somehow Hermione looked quite sweet in hers.
He looked across the room at her as she began to smile again, her exams finally being over. She glanced his way and gave him a surprisingly warm smile before turning away.
“Are you day dreaming or something?” Pansy said and he rolled his eyes.
“Well I was.” He scowled.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Well pull your head out of the clouds and get prepared.”
“For what?” He said without thinking.
“I sent the stuff away. This is happening.” She grinned.
His heart started to pound just as McGonagall began addressing the school.
“I want to thank you all for returning to Hogwarts this year, I know for some the decision did not come easily…” Her voice faded away as Draco started to panic.
They would be here is less than forty eight hours. The lower school would be on their way home but the rest of them would be blinded by their graduations. He had to do something… there had to be something he could do.
He had to see her tonight. He had to tell her, no matter what it meant for him. The thought of losing her entirely made his stomach twist and turn far more than knowing that they couldn’t be together. He looked over to her, she was watching McGonagall with a little smile on her face that made him sigh. She was just so beautiful.
What was he going to do when he couldn’t hold her anymore? Surely there was no one else that could make him ache like she does. But she could never feel for him what he wanted her to. Especially now, especially after his two confessions. She had forgiven one but there was no way she could forgive him twice.
He was anxious for the feast to finish so that he could meet her. Everything around him was going so slowly.
He barely at his food, he mostly picked at it and tapped his foot rhythmically while looking around erratically. Pansy nudged him a few times but he ignored it.
The second they were dismissed he left their table. He was one of the first out of the hall.
He turned the corner and pulled a piece of crumples parchment out of his robes and used his wand to scrawl a message.
I need to see you now, it can't wait.
He sent it off to her and he made his way straight to the usual spot, hoping that she would show up.
“I can't believe it’s finished.” Hermione said as they headed back to the common room.
“I know, now I actually have to do something with my life.” Ron said.
Harry laughed. “I’m sorry, do you think the last seven years have been a breeze and now you’re in for trouble?”
“No, he just thinks that fighting off death eaters was a good way to avoid actual work. Now you have to do some serious training to be an auror.” Hermione said.
“We should be able to skip the training, we’ve pretty much done more than that at this school.” Ron said.
They were all floating about on that end of school buzz.
Hermione worried that they might drift apart in their new lives but somehow she knew that they were more than just the best of friends. The things they had done together had pretty much cemented that fact. As they climbed the stairs to the dormitory Hermione saw a piece of parchment flying her way. She grabbed it subtly, so that the others wouldn’t see and opened it.
When she read the words her brow furrowed and she wondered what could possibly be so important. She looked ahead and the two boys were chatting intently and laughing so she took the chance to slip away.
The seventh floor wasn’t that far away and Draco had never sent her a message like that before so something had to be going on. It was probably just that they hadn’t seen each other since she said that she forgave him and he was feeling insecure, she thought to herself.
While she still seethed a bit at the fact that he had kissed her she was more annoyed at the fact that he had snubbed Pansy and she wouldn’t let him go. Didn’t she know when something was gone?
She passed the corridor and the door materialised. As she entered she saw Draco sitting on the couch in front of a roaring fire. She smiled until she saw the look of him.
He had dumped his robe and cap on the edge of the bed on one side of the room and it looked as though he had been running his hands through his hair. His shirt was scruffy and his tie was skewed. She could see the beads of sweat on his forehead and he was clenching and unclenching his fists on his knees.
“Draco…?” she said softly and he spun around as though he wasn’t expecting anyone.
She let out a small gasp at his red bloodshot eyes; he hadn’t looked like this earlier in the evening. It was almost as though he had been crying.
He looked up at her with his mouth hanging slightly open and the most defenceless look in his eyes. He shook his head a little and she moved forward to sit by him but he put a hand up to stop her.
“Don’t…” He said, his voice cracking.
“Draco what’s going on?” she asked.
“It’s all my fault…” He whimpered, taking a hand to his hair and gripping it tightly.
She ignored his halting movement and took a seat by his side. “What’s going on?”
“I should have done something… they’re right… I’m nothing but a coward!” He spat the words out and she tried to take him in her arms. “No!” He pushed away from her and leapt off the couch to stand by the wall.
Hermione stood up to face him. “Draco what in the world is it?”
His face showed the hopelessness he felt. He was a failure to both sides, to his family, to the revolution; to Hermione… he couldn’t seem to do right by anyone.
“I should have told you… you’ll hate me…” He choked.
“I could never hate you…” She whispered.
“Oh yeah?” He asked, breathing heavily.
“Can you please just tell me what’s got you so worked up?” He sighed and closed his eyes.
“There’s… there’s a movement happening…”
Her face turned, “What do you mean?”
He opened his eyes and looked into her eyes. “A revolution from the death eaters in hiding.” She took a sharp intake of breath. “That’s why I was with Pansy, we were meeting them in the break.”
She looked as though she was going to say something but she just closed her mouth and her nostrils flared as she took the information in.
“That’s not all…” she looked up at him and all he could see was the betrayal in her eyes but he needed to see it, he needed reality to hit him fully. “They’re… coming here. Soon.”
“They’re what?” She said in disbelief.
“They want to take some pathetic revenge on the school for what happened. They can't handle the fact that they lost. That’s why they want me to be a part of their twisted little games, that way they can torture me and use me to get what they want.” He said, not really speaking to her anymore.
Hermione took a moment to let it sink in.
Vengeful death eaters were making their way to Hogwarts to exact revenge on its occupants. Draco had met with them months ago to make plans and he hadn’t said anything.
Why did they want him?
Why wouldn’t he say anything?
Why would he hide that?
She looked up at his face, the agony was breaking through and she could see everything.
They wanted him to stand up and prove that he wasn’t a pathetic disloyal party, he had left the last war before it had finished, abandoning the cause. His family were outcasts and they would likely be targeted as part of their revenge so assuming Draco into their movement was another form of punishment.
First it was ostracism, next it was threats, then it was a trade; Draco’s compliance for their lives. If he joined their cause they would see it as redemption for their past ‘mistakes’. Draco hated what his parents did to him but she knew that he could never wish them dead. He had to protect them from what he knew was coming, especially his mother.
The reason that he didn’t tell Hermione was because that would mean choosing between her and his family. Something that couldn’t have been easy, something that he probably didn’t even know he was doing.
And she could see from the guilt in his eyes that this wasn’t what he wanted, this was never what he wanted. He was terrified of what could happen and he was pushing her away now so that it hurt less when he lost her.
She knew that he thought she couldn’t forgive him again, that was clear, but Hermione has a pure heart and pure intentions. She tried to see the goodness in people and she wouldn’t let Voldemort’s followers manipulate her the way they did everyone else.
“We have to do something.” She said slowly.
He looked up at her, confusion painted on his face. “What do you mean?”
“Well we can't let them get away with this and you know what’s happening so we need you.” She said.
If he lost her now all the progress he had made would have been for nothing and she knew that he wanted to be a better person.
“Didn’t you hear me? I knew about this all along.” He said with a little fire in his voice.
“I know you did, and you’re telling me now aren’t you?”
“How can you stand there and not loath me?” He asked, half angrily and half bewildered.
“I can understand why you did what you did, you might not realise but I know you better than you think.” She said, getting a little heated herself.
“How can you possibly forgive a monster like me when I put you and everyone you care about in danger? Why would you do that?” He raised his voice and she rolled her eyes and grunted.
“You have got yourself so hung up on the idea that I would hate you because of this haven’t you? Did you ever think that I might need you as much as you need me? And of course I’m going to forgive you, I love you and that means that I’m obliged to forgive you when you come clean with this because you’re being honest. It’s not your fault that this war happened and the fact that you came forward means you want things to change. That’s what matters now.” She said, hardly taking a breath.
He just started at her, his expression changed, his eyes softer than before.
“What did you say?” He asked quietly, not sure that he heard her right.
“I said that’s what matters now.” She repeated her last sentence and he shook his head.
“No, before that.” He was hanging onto her words and she rolled her eyes again with another maddened grunt.
“Well I said-” She stopped herself when she realised what had actually come out of her mouth.
She looked over at him their expressions mirroring one another. She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. Her mouth hangs open a little as he waited for something to come out of it. She sighed and relaxed her tense shoulders.
“I said I love you Draco.” He swallowed hard as she repeated herself and then laughed a little. “I actually said it didn’t I? Well, I guess this wasn’t the best time for that to come out… but I meant it. I really do love you.”
The corners of his lips twitched into a smile and he was giving her this look that she couldn’t quite figure out. She even thought she saw his eyes get a little glassy as he walked towards her.
He stopped just in front of her and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. He leant in to kiss her and she couldn’t help but kiss him back.
She said she loved him. He couldn’t believe that she had actually said those words in that order. She loved him. She loved him. He had no idea why and he had thought that he would never believe those words if ever he heard them but she meant them. He knew she did.
“Tell me again…” He murmured into her lips and he felt her smile under his kiss.
“I love you.” She whispered.
He lifted her up and held her against him, suddenly forgetting about everything else. What did it matter? As she wrapped her legs around him he held her tighter, determined to never let her fall.
She knew that there were more important things at hand but she couldn’t bear to pull away from him now. She put her hands around the back of his neck and kissed him even more deeply. He stepped backwards and walked the two of them to the bed where he tore his lips from hers and laid her down.
He stared down at her as she smiled up at him and his heart beat drowned out every other sound. She was perfect, and she loved him. She had seen through the monster he showed and into the man inside who was broken and in desperate need of someone to hold him.
She took his tie and pulled it over his head. He leant over her and kissed her lips with small adoring caresses and she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. He grabbed her hand and looked down into her eyes, his beaming with bright blue colour.
“What are you doing?” He asked softly.
“I don’t want you to think that you don’t deserve me, I just want you to… I just want you.” She said.
He brushed her forehead with his fingertips and kissed her once before pulling his shirt over his head.
He pulled back the covers and they kicked off their shoes as they climbed under.
“Don’t think that this is-” Hermione started but Draco cut her off with a kiss.
“Can you just kiss me?” He smiled and she laughed a little.
“Fine by me.”
They undressed slowly, more interested in holding one another close than anything else. Her skin was so soft under his hands, every inch of her body as beautiful as the last. No one could possibly be so perfect. This had to be an ongoing dream that he just hasn’t woken up from.
How else could he explain how magical he felt?
Her gentle fingers ran from his neck down over his chest and around to his lover back and he felt the shiver lick his skin. She arched her back to let him unclip her bra and he almost didn’t look because he felt she was too good for that. He bit his lip a little and pulled back to look into her deep brown eyes.
“I believe you are blushing Mr Malfoy.” She whispered with a smile.
He smiled and looked away from her eyes. “Well get used to it.” He grumbled and she let out a laugh that filled him with warmth.
This time he didn’t want to stop, he wanted every part of her to be his and this time he knew that he wasn’t just that bad guy that didn’t deserve her. He was the guy that she loved and the one who had done everything to make sure he was good enough for her. He wasn’t just anyone anymore, he was the one that she loved.
“Are you sure you want me?” He whispered, rubbing his nose against hers with closed eyes.
“Always.” She breathed.
He wasn’t going to hold it back anymore because he wanted her too, and he knew that he always would.
They lay in the bed after in silence. He held her against him tightly, tangling his fingers with hers and kissing her shoulder gently. This night had started to badly, he thought that he was going to lose her for good but he knew now that nothing could make him let her go now.
“What are we going to do?” He asked her.
She sighed and pulled his hand to her lips. “You’re not going to like it.” She said.
“I didn’t expect to.”
“I have to tell them.”
He closed his eyes; their secret was coming to an end. He knew that it would have to happen eventually.
“I want you to be here when I do.”
He pulled back and she turned to look at him. “Are you crazy?”
“No, but you’re the only one who knows the details about this revolution. Besides, I need you to be here for this.” She squeezed his hand tighter and he nodded.
“Okay.” He whispered. “When?”
“Tonight.”
“What? Don’t you think that we could wait until at least the morning?”
“No, they need time to wrap their heads around it before anything happens; I assume it’ll be soon.” She said.
“Before we leave on the last train.” He said with a sigh, still feeling guilty.
“I’ll go and get them all; maybe you should take a walk to cool off.” She pulled out of his arms and sat up. “We should meet here in an hour.”
He lay back and sighed, looking ahead with a blank stare.
Hermione leant back over and kissed his cheek. “You know that I don’t blame you for this, don’t you?”
He looked up with a weak smile. “I know, but you’ll be the only one.”
She returned the smile but sighed, knowing that it was the truth.