I replayed it in my mind. The conversation from before.
**************
"Hey.." Dustin said avoiding my eyes. I looked down to see he still had on the red bracelet I gave him awhile back. I hoped that was a good sign.
"Hey" I said offering a slight smile of hope.
"So..." He started not knowing what to say.
"About what happened." I tried to start the conversation.
"I'm not mad about what happened. Well, not anymore." He clarified.
"But," I interrupted knowing that was coming next.
"I don't know how I can trust you. Loving you is not the issue. It never was and never will be. It is just, trust is a big thing and I don't know anymore." He confessed.
"I don't either. I still can't figure out why I did it." I announced tears forming in my eyes.
"Trust me. I tried figuring out why you did to." He continued then realizing I was crying. "Woah, woah, woah. Don't cry beautiful."Dustin cupped my face in his hands causing me to smile a little. "There is that smile I love."
"How do you not hate me?" I asked staring at his beautiful eyes.
"I don't know. One thing I do know is I can't be in a relationship with no trust" he confessed looking away suddenly.
"Somehow I knew this was going to happen." I said remembering my fears.
"I don't have much of a choice." He cried as what looked like tears began forming in his eyes.
"I'm never going to find someone like you" I whimpered as more tears flooded my face.
"Yes you will. In fact, you will find someone better. He will love you and hold you. Take you to every party because I know how much you love to dance. He will bring you flowers and hold your hand." He comforted rubbing my back in circles as we sat on the bench.
"Your ripped off Bruno mars. But I wish you were my man." I said holding back anymore tears.
"I love you. Maybe, someday, things will work out better, but right now. This is best. I'm doing this for us because I love you. I will always love you." With that he laid a light kiss on my lips. I can still feel them brush against mine.
Now, I'm sitting on the floor wearing his jacket from homecoming listening to Last Kiss by Taylor Swift. Now I realize what it means.
Now On floor wearing your shirt
All that I don't know is how to be something you miss
Never thought we'd ever last kiss.
My knees were tucked against my chest as a buried my face in it. I let it all go. I didn't care about my make up. I knew I was a mess. My phone had been going off since I got home. Last thing I wanted to do was talk to people. I sat let the tears fall and music play. Just letting everything go. I heard a loud slam, snapping me into reality. I looked up to see my drunk mother standing in front of me.
"Caaan you guess where Iiiiii was?" She slurred.
"The bar?" I asked knowing answer.
"Yeeesssss and do you know whhhhhhat I herdddd?" She asked.
"What?" I cried.
"Thhhhhhat your a sllllllut." She announced tripping over her own feet.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Mmmmmyyyy daughter is seeeeeennnding pictures too boys? Onesssss that aren't even her boyfriendddddd! Hand over the phhhhhhone." She said lunging toward the bed where it was lying.
"Mom, it is not what it seems" I pleaded as her hand stung against my face.
"Save iiiiitttt hoooe." She slurred storming out of the room leaving me in tears again. What was wrong with me? Why did I do it? How could I? He was the best thing that ever happened to me! Why did I do this? Everything swirled in my head. The song Amazed by Lonestar played on my iPod causing more tears to fall. I quickly got up and changed the song. I couldn't listen to it not now. Not ever again.
I never thought we'd ever last kiss...