Saturday morning when I woke up there were bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep and smeared makeup all over my face. I checked my phone in hopes of a text or missed call from Harry but there weren't any. I wondered if we were over or if he was just mad at me. I was praying he was just mad and that he would forgive me soon.
Not bothering to shower, I made my way down stairs to grab a granola bar for breakfast. It wasn't nearly as tasty as the pancakes that Harry had made for us. I leaned against the counter as I nibbled at it, wondering about my mom. Did she lose her job? She hadn't been to work in days.
I threw my granola wrapper away and walked to her bedroom. My mom was laying on her back with her eyes wide open, white foam seeping from the corner of her mouth. I let out a blood curdling scream at the sight. Running back into the kitchen as fast as I could, I grabbed my phone and dialed 911.
Sirens sounded off outside and paramedics arrived at my house in minutes. There were multiple of them, maybe five or six, and I let them inside, showing them to where my mom lay unconscious in her bed. They carried medic bags over their shoulders and the last two brought a stretcher in with them. Accessing my mom's situation quickly, they loaded her up on the stretcher and took her away. I watched with teary eyes and shaking hands as the ambulance sped down the street.
Macy was supposed to be spending the day with her family and I didn't want to disturb her. I didn't feel comfortable discussing the issues with my mom to any of my other friends. They were judgmental on a lot of things. I had no one. No one except for Harry who wasn't currently talking to me. I decided to send him a text. I couldn't give up yet. What we had together was deep and unexplainable. The feelings that I had for him were strong all along but after I gave up my virginity to him it felt like they multiplied. Our connection had grown deeper.
"Harry, please call me. I love you and need you more than anything right now. Give me a chance to explain everything. I know you would understand if you knew the whole story. I need you so much right now. Please."
I sounded desperate and needy but I didn't care. It was kind of true. I was desperate for him to talk to me and I needed him. My heart ached as I sat in silence on my couch. It seemed like my life was falling apart piece by piece. After a long fifteen minutes my phone buzzed beside me.
"I'm giving you a chance to explain yourself because I love you and it better be the truth. Come over now if you can. -H"
I washed the makeup off my face, threw my hair up, and got dressed. I slipped Harry's hoodie on before I left my house. I thought about how I was going to explain everything to Harry, what I was going to say. What if he didn't believe the truth? What if he never wanted to see me again? I sat in my car for a few minutes after I had pulled into his driveway, trying to calm myself down.
I stepped out of my car and Harry met me on the front porch. I broke out into sobs the second I laid eyes on him and he wrapped me in a familiar hug.
"Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm a wreck right now but let me explain, okay?" I said. My words came out muffled against his chest.
Harry led me inside and sat down on his recliner chair near to the couch. He looked up at me, waiting for some answers.
"I wasn't with Trent." I started. "He blackmailed me, blackmailed us. That knock on the window of your car was him. He'd seen me get inside with you. He said that he would tell the police and the entire school about what he seen if I didn't pretend to be his girlfriend. I don't even know what he seen. Maybe he just said that to scare me and it worked."
I explained everything to him, from Trent kissing me, which made me want to puke, to the drug deal that I'd seen at the party.
"I done all of this to protect you, to protect us. I didn't want you to lose your job over me and I didn't want to lose you. I was afraid you would leave me if you knew what Trent was threatening, afraid that it'd be too big of a risk for you. I guess it just backfired. I'm sorry, Harry."
Harry was silent for a long minute, the expression on his face blank and unreadable. He chewed at his lower lip and I became jittery as I waited for him to speak. "You thought I would leave you?"
"Yes. I thought if anyone found out about us you would leave me the second you knew."
"I'm more offended that you thought of yourself as not that important to me, that I would leave you over some scumbag kid who thinks he knows something. I wish you would have told me about all of this, Jess. Last night I spent hours on end thinking of you in someone else's arms, sleeping in their bed. It was painful, the most pain I have felt in a long time." Harry motioned me over to him.
I sat down on the side of the chair, letting my legs stretch across his lap. His arm wrapped around me, resting on my hip. His other hand came to rest on my thigh and he pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. I leaned into his touch, melting into his chest and the warmth of his body. It felt like I hadn't hugged him in weeks.
"I'm so sorry, Harry. Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you in any way."
"It's alright. I have you in my arms again." Harry murmured against my neck. "Are you okay, though? Something else bothering you?"
I tried keeping my tears to a minimum, not wanting to seem overemotional but it was so hard. I was relieved that Harry and I would be alright but beyond worried about my mom. Harry rubbed circles on my back, waiting for a response.
"It's my mom. I found her unconscious in her bed. Thats what those sirens were for earlier. That's the other reason why I really needed you today. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm going to do. Actually, I better go. I need to go be there for her at the hospital."
Harry pulled me across him, moving my leg and turning my body so that I was straddling him. He hugged me tight, letting me relax against him.
"I'm not going to let you drive in the state you're in right now. Call the hospital and ask how she's doing. If you want to go later, I'll drive you myself. You've dealt with too much for one day."
My heart warmed at his gesture. It showed that he really did care about me, if I'd had any doubts in the last twenty four hours. I grabbed my phone and called the hospital, asking how she was and still sitting on Harry's lap. He kissed on my neck as I waited to talk to my mom's nurse. I found out that she still wasn't awake but they had her body stabilized. Visitors weren't permitted at the time. I told Harry what they'd said, even though he probably heard through the phone from being so close.
"She'll be okay." Harry assured me. "Everything's going to be alright. I love you." His hands held on to my shoulders and slid down my arms, coming to a rest at my hips.
I was still worried and upset but the feel of his hands on my body was very distracting. It made my problems seem farther away, made my insides boil and melt. Despite our age difference and our circumstances, Harry was an amazing boyfriend. He made me feel good physically and emotionally. I hoped I made him happy too.
Harry suggested that we move to the couch so we weren't cramped up in the chair. We got up and he sat on the corner seat of the couch. I snuggled in next to him, his arm wrapped around me. I tilted my head up for a kiss. His lips were soft and gentle against mine.
"If something bad happens to my mom, I don't know what will happen to me. I don't have any relatives that I could live with and my dad is who knows where." I said.
Harry rubbed patterns on my upper arm with his fingers. "You're mom will be fine. Trust the doctors. They will take great care of her."
"But if she's not, I don't know what I'll do. I guess I do have an aunt in Montana but that's so far away. My life is here. You're here."
"Just wait and see what happens. Take it one day at a time." Harry said. "Anyways, what about that Trent kid? You're not going to keep pretending to date him, right?"
"No. He said he would be done with me after homecoming. So I hope he is still sticking with that story. I hate even being near him after I found out who he really is."
"Good, because I hate seeing you in another man's arms. I want you all for myself. What was his motive for all this, anyways? Why you?"
Harry's possessiveness kind of turned me on. The fact that he wanted me all for himself was hot. I wanted him all for myself, too. I hated the thought of him being with someone else like he was with me.
"I haven't figured out his motive yet but I am all yours."
"And I'm all yours," Harry pulled me tighter against him. "Let me take your mind off things for a bit, yeah?"
I leaned into him, letting his crisp, minty scent wrap around me. Harry brought my face to his with his fingers under my chin for a kiss. He teased into my mouth with his tongue, nipped at my lower lip, and let his hands wander down my neck to my breasts. His body weight pressed against me and he moved to push me down onto the couch on my back. I wrapped my arms around him, hooking my hands together at the small of his back.
"I love you." I said almost breathlessly.
"And I love you,"
Harry's mouth was hot and hard against mine, his tongue swiping in and teasing. His hands were everywhere on my body, rubbing, caressing, and teasing. My body tingled and burned in the best way wherever he touched.
"You looked beautiful in that dress last night, by the way." Harry murmured against my lips. "And sexy as hell when you would sway your body to the music." He kissed down my neck and hooked his fingers under the band of my leggings. "I got hard just watching you, imagining your body moving on mine."
I couldn't think straight, couldn't fully focus on what he was saying, when his hands and mouth were on me. I kissed him back just as hard as he was kissing me. I ran my fingers through his hair and brought my hands down between us to palm over his bulge. A low moan fell from his lips.
"I thought about so many things, Jess, and then I saw that boy kiss you. I was so mad. I thought you'd been cheating on me this entire time." Harry's hand grasped my thigh and wrapped it around his waist, pushing upwards and pressing himself against my center. "I drove home in a hurry and sat in my shower until the water ran cold."
"I'm so sorry, Harry. I was selfish. I thought you would leave me if you knew."
"I won't leave you." Harry said against my mouth. "I won't."
I looped my arms under Harry's and kissed him hard, pulling at his hair and arching against his body. We went on for endless minutes, kissing and caressing, teasing each other until we were both sweating, shaking, and breathless. My lips were swollen and I was sure I would have marks on my neck from Harry's sucking and biting.
Harry reached behind him and into his pocket, pulling out a foil package with a grin on his face.
"Harry, I think I'm still a little sore." I said.
I wanted him right now more than anything but my insides still felt raw at the entrance. In a few days' time I would be absolutely ready for him. Besides from the problems with Trent and my mom, he was all I could think about. I wondered about how our next time would be, where at, and if we would try something new. I wondered if Harry was kinky or if he would ever let me be on top. I wondered what he was into.
"Soon then," Harry said and we continued on with what we'd been doing.
"I have another secret." I said between kisses. "It's something else I've been keeping from you."
Harry froze above me. "What?"
"Macy, my best friend, knows about us. She won't tell anyone, I promise. It's just that I needed someone to talk to about what Trent was doing to me and I couldn't fill her in all the way without telling her about us. Please don't be mad."
"She's the only one?" Harry asked.
"Yes,"
"And there's no more secrets?"
"There's no more secrets, I swear."
I spent the rest of the day with Harry, making out, watching movies, and driving each other wild. We talked a lot too, more so than we did before. He asked me all kinds of questions, ones that I didn't think he'd even be interested in knowing. I asked him things I was curious about too, a lot of things about living in London.
Around five the hospital had called me and said that my mom was awake and that I could go see her. Harry offered to drive me there and I accepted. He stayed in his car while I went up to see her. I only stayed about a half hour, being really tired from not getting any sleep the night before.
"Thank you so much, Harry." I said once I was back inside his car.
"It's not a problem. How is she?"
"It was an overdose on pain medication with alcohol. She still has a lot of internal damage and doesn't know when she'll get out. She trusts me to take care of the house and gave me her debit card that's connected to her savings account. She said there's plenty of money there to buy food or anything else I'll need before she gets out."
"She'll get better soon, Jess." Harry assured me. "If there's anything you need, just ask me."
"I'll be okay. I love you."
I didn't want Harry to feel like he needed to support me or buy me things. I could get through this. My mom was worse than I'd let on to him and it could be weeks before she was released. I tried keeping it all inside as we drove down the road.
Harry took us to dinner at a little buffet outside of town. I made sure I didn't recognize anyone before we sat down. It was a good meal, and I tried to keep the topic of my mom out of our conversation. We had agreed upon me staying at his place tonight.
Everything seemed to be going good but I was still worried about what would happen at school on Monday. Trent would be furious about me brushing him off and I couldn't pretend with him anymore. I'd told Harry I wouldn't.
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