WARNING: This contains self-harm. If you know you are going to be triggered, please DO NOT read this one.
Small author's note at the end :)
Derek
"I don't know, I'm just worried about him." Scott said as I walked into the loft.
"Have you tried talking to him?" Lydia asked.
"He won't open up."
"What are you guys talking about?" I asked.
"Stiles. He's getting bullied at school." Scott said sadly.
I felt my heart swell when Scott said that. Who the hell is hurting my Stiles.
"I just, I don't know what to do. He won't talk to me about it. He always pulls the 'I'm fine' card." Scott sighed. The loft door opened and shut.
"I just don't get why it's okay to be late to a meeting you set up." Isaac laughed trying to cover up the conversation.
"UH, Stiles was late too." I replied.
"Yeah, but we like Stiles." Scott laughed.
"Don't be mean to Derek." Stiles said softly.
"Derek's always mean to you. Why are you standing up for him?" Scott asked.
"Two wrongs don't make a right." Stiles sat next to me. "Besides, Derek's not that big of an asshole anymore."
The meeting went on like always, Scott argued with me about nothing, Isaac was confused the whole time, Lydia was the only one to give good input, and Stiles was lost in his own mind.
Everyone had left when I rubbed Stiles' back bringing him back to reality.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine." He replied getting up.
"I'm serious Stiles."
"I'm okay. I promise."
"Stiles."
"Derek. I said I'm fine." He said storming out of the loft.
Stiles
I walked into school the next morning exhausted. Honestly, I feel like I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in weeks.
I was standing at my locker when I was pushed into it. "Fag." One of the guys called.
I sighed watching them walk away. "Why don't you ever do anything to stop them?" Scott asked walking over to me.
Because I deserve it.
"It's not a big deal." I replied pulling out my binder and closing my locker. "Besides, they're stronger than me."
"I'll beat the shit out of them for you." Scott replied.
"You'll just make it worse if you do that."
"Well something needs to change." He snapped.
"No Scott, nothing needs to change. I'm fine. I can handle a few assholes for the rest of the fucking school year. Drop it." I snapped back walking to class.
I sat in Economics hearing the guys behind me calling me names. It was normal but I tried to ignore it. They eventually started throwing crinkled up pieces of paper until they got caught.
"Stilinski!" One of them called me after class ended. "What do you want?" I sighed.
"Why are you so fucking retarded?" He laughed.
"Can I go now?" I asked. He slammed me against a locker.
"You do know that everyone hates you, right?" He snapped. "Those 'friends' of yours are going to drop you as soon as they realize what a piece of trash you really are." He said letting go of me. I nodded "Thanks for the heads up." I mumbled walking off.
"What was that faggot!?" He yelled shoving me to the ground.
"Get the hell away from him." I heard Scott snap and a loud thud. I looked to see Scott beating the crap out of him.
I got up and walked away.
"Stiles!" Scott yelled behind me as I walked toward my jeep. "Stiles!"
"What!? What do you want!?" I snapped turning around.
"What is your problem?" He asked.
"My problem? My problem is that I told you not to do anything and you totally ignored me and did whatever the hell you wanted to do." I snapped.
"I'm not going to just standby and let those assholes hurt you everyday!" he yelled.
"I'm fine Scott! You probably just made things ten times worse! Leave me alone!" I yelled getting into my jeep and slamming the door shut.
'useless'
'ugly'
'faggot'
'nobody'
The things they say never leave my head. It's like a broken record repeating itself over and over and over again.
But, I'm okay.
no I'm not
I can handle this.
no I can't
I don't need anyone's help.
yes I do
I sighed walking into my bathroom and grabbing my blade from the mirror cabinet.
Hello old friend.
I just needed something small to distract me, to take away the pain, just for a little while.
I dragged the blade across my wrist, once, twice. The blood slowly trickling from the cut. I started crying as the blood ran down my arm. I'm so worthless. I cut my arm again. I'm a nobody. I turned on the faucet. Nobody actually likes me. I rinsed off the blade. The blood from my arm covering the sink. Hell, I don't even like me. I took a deep breathe and washed my arm, bandaging it. The same routine as normal. I set the blade back in its spot, closed the mirror, and crawled into bed.
"Stiles."
"Stiles?"
"Stiles!"
I shook my head, my thoughts being rushed back into reality. "Sorry, what?" I looked over to see Derek.
"I asked what you were doing?" He repeated.
I looked down seeing I was holding two pill bottles from his mirror cabinet. "I was looking for something for my headache." I replied. That is the original reason I came in here.
He grabbed another bottle setting it on the counter and taking the other two from me. "Are you okay?" He asked. "I could ask you the same thing." I replied gesturing to the prescription bottle he took from me.
"I was put on anti-depressants after my family burnt in a fire and my sister was cut in half. I'm fine now. These are like 3 years old." he said tossing them in the garbage. "Now answer my question." He demanded.
"I'm fine." I said opening the pill bottle and watching two little tablets fall into my palm.
"Are you lying to me?" He asked.
"No." I mumbled walking past him hoping he wouldn't listen to my heart beat as I lied.
He sighed "Stiles, please just talk to me." He grabbed my arm.
"About what Derek?" I asked facing him.
"I know you're getting bullied."
"I don't want to talk about this Derek. Especially not in the middle of this stupid meeting."
"We're talking after." He said sternly.
"We're talking after." I mocked pushing his hand off me and walking back into the living room.
"Sit." Derek growled as I tried getting up to leave with the rest of the pack. I sighed sitting back down on the couch and looking at anything except him.
"Talk." He said after he knew the pack was gone.
"What do you want me to say?" I asked.
"Why do you keep lying about being okay?"
"I'm not lying!" I yelled. "I'm fine."
"Stiles." He said softly.
I got up walking toward the kitchen.
"Stiles, seriously talk to me. Promise me you're okay."
"Derek, I promise, I'm.." I stopped for a moment. "not okay." I said softly staring at myself in a mirror Derek had hung on the wall.
"Stiles.." Derek said softly trying to grab onto me. I pulled away from him.
"What Derek!? What do you want me to say? That I'm so sick of everyone treating me like shit? Because yeah I am. And yeah it gets to me. But I can't do anything about it. It's not like anyone actually cares! Just like Jackson said, once the pack realizes how worthless I am, they'll leave me too. So just stop. Stop pretending to care." I said feeling a tear run down my cheek.
"Jackson said that?" Derek asked.
I nodded "He's always been an ass to me. It got worse since you wouldn't give him the bite. Then you let Lydia in the pack and not him and it wasn't just verbal anymore." I said softly.
"Look, it doesn't matter. I'll be fine."
"It does matter Stiles! What he said, that's not true. The entire pack cares about you so much, I care about you. I don't know what I would do without you. You're amazing, and beautiful, you keep this pack going."
"Don't lie to me Derek."
"I'm not lying to you. I love you, Stiles. And this," He said pulling up my sleeve. "Has got to stop. Them treating you like shit, has to stop. You hating yourself. Has. To. Stop."
I looked down. "Stiles, I love you. I just want you to be happy."
"You don't love me." I muttered.
"It's kind of hard not to love you." He pulled me closer to him. "You're my mate."
I looked up at him. "B-but, I'm nothing like you. I'm skinny, and weak, and useless. And nowhere near as good looking.." He cut me off.
"You're the perfect weight, you have a great punch when you want to, you are the brains behind everything the pack does, and you're the most gorgeous guy I've ever had the chance to meet."
I shook my head "You don't mean that."
"I do. And I want to spend everyday proving it to you if you'll let me." He said softly.
"Did you just ask me out?" I asked. He nodded.
"How do I know you're not lying?"
He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned in pressing his lips against mine. The kiss was slow and passionate, filled with love. He pulled away resting his forehead on mine. "You're just going to have to trust me. Do you trust me?" He asked.
I moved my head so it was laying on his shoulder. "I trust you."
I don't know where this idea came from. I have so many one-shot ideas (20 and counting) that I have to post and not enough time in the world. Ugh.
My birthday is on Monday!! I'll be 17. I'm really excited.
Also, I probably won't get to update much next week because I'm going to be really busy.
I don't know if I'll be able to update Tomorrow. I'm supposed to see my dad for the first time in 4 months so...we'll see how things go.
Hope you all had a good day!! Goodnight!!