Chapter Eleven
Sammy had become the Queen of hiding her emotions she thought as she walked to the nearest shop with Eleanor the next morning. Corinne and Mike were still asleep, but then she'd left them up with a bottle of wine when she'd got back. They wouldn't drink alcohol whilst they were caring for her baby, but once she was home they visibly relaxed. Corinne spotted her sadness as she walked in.
"Hard?"
She had nodded, far easier to blame her confusion, her sorrow from that dreadful evening on memories of Marcus and the action of his family. Yet in reality she was struggling to fathom what was going on with Joel. He'd lied to her, not that she could blame him. It wasn't a confession she'd have wanted to part with, so she had no intention of telling her friend that snippet.
It all felt so sordid, and in reality what did it matter? Joel meant nothing to her, why should she care if he lied? Or if he was jealous? Though that was harder to deal with, the fact that her husband and his best friend were almost estranged when he died was due to her arrival in his life. That was something she had to think long and hard about. Then there was the fact that Daniel had been so involved, so adamant about it all, he'd warned her that this was the case, who was playing her? Who was pulling all the strings? And why? She hated that she had no idea. And she hated that her quiet uneventful life had suddenly become this mess, this car crash.
Eleanor was awake, looking up at her smiling as they walked through the sunny streets, the photo image of her father, and her heart tugged in a mixture of sorrow and love, Eleanor was Sammy's reason for living.
"You ok baby girl? Shall we go swimming later? You love that hey?"
The gurgle of response made her smile and for a moment she forgot all her troubles.
Joel had a grim headache, the type where you couldn't bear to open your eyes. But it was all self inflicted. When Sammy left he'd stormed off to the members club that Toby had enrolled him at, that was after almost punching Daniel Turner. Then he sat at the bar drinking whisky until the sun started to rise. He was dreadful company and the world seemed to give him a wide berth, and as he sat alone feeling as though his world was caving in, for the first time in a year it wasn't Marcus that was making him sad, that he saw every time he closed his eyes, it was the pale devastated face of his best friend's wife.
Should he have lied? Should he have been more honest? He wasn't sure what to say. All he knew was that Daniel had no understanding or empathy for Sammy, he didn't care and he'd hurt her to get his own way. He knew what Marcus had done, and he knew more. That was why he was manipulating things, he was after something and Joel had a fair idea that he'd find out very soon EXACTLY what he wanted.
He rolled over, face down into the pillows, hoping they would help block out the light, stop the pain that was blinding him. But it didn't. And there is was again, Sammy's face once again haunting him. He'd hurt her, but he had no idea how to make it right.
It could have all been different, everything, but he'd long since accepted that. He remembered the first moment he had set eyes on Sammy. After the trip to the nudist beach, a rather elaborate wild goose chase that took up far too much time and money, they'd settled on one for the smaller Greek islands for a few days. It had been fun, swimming in the tepid azure seas, drinking ouzo, and getting a tan. The islands were full of slim tanned mainly blondes, who only seemed to have packed bikinis. Marcus was beside himself, he'd definitely made up for his sadness at being dumped. He had disappeared with so many women over the two weeks they'd been away, afternoons, nights, and once even after breakfast, each time winking and reminding Joel not to disturb their bedroom. Free easy and anonymous sex wasn't on Joel's agenda, so he'd happily explored the places they were in, fuelling his childhood interest for Greek mythology by investigating the hidden secrets of the places they visited.
He wasn't sure why he'd noticed the distinctive woman sat on a wall above the beach. Was it her beautiful auburn hair that flashed red in the sun? Or the contrasting pale, almost luminous skin? Or the unusual and rather conservative black fifties style swimsuit that rather than looking dowdy actually coated her curvy figure and made her seem more exotic than anyone who paraded around in a skimpy bikini? All he knew was that she was different, and she caused the first spark of intrigue that he'd felt during the whole trip. He was more than fascinated; she was the complete opposite to everyone else they'd met on their trip, the tanned, and the glamorous. She hadn't been either, but she'd been so serene, so happy, so content as she sat observing the views from the harbour wall and that confidence poured off her in luxurious waves.
A shout from the water caused him to look up and see Marcus disappear beneath a wave, a blonde woman wrapped around him. Another woman. He half laughed, half groaned, but then when he turned back the wall was empty, the siren had gone.
He'd hidden his disappointment well, aware that he'd already been the voice of doom on this trip, not enjoying it half as much as he could have. A quick tour of the harbour and he was devastated to come back without a further sighting of the beauty, and instead he got roped into yet another boat party that cruised late into the night.
But she remained in his mind, a beautiful memory that he never thought he'd see again. Then she appeared on the ferry out of the blue the next day, as stunning as he remembered, and walked straight into the radar field of Marcus.
Whether Marcus realised that he was intrigued by Sammy Joel wasn't sure, but he'd nudged him in the ribs as she came into view and whispered, "twit-twoo...first dibs on her Joel...after all you still owe me!"
Joel had turned to him and glared, the misunderstanding with Meredith many years earlier was regularly tossed in his direction. He hadn't gone near Marcus' girlfriend, he'd never have stolen a someone from his best friend, but when Marcus was dumped because Meredith told him she preferred Joel, there had been a real rift in their friendship, and despite Marcus assuring him that he believed he was without blame; it was still thrown back in his face repeatedly.
And now that he'd expressed an interest in someone and used the 'Meredith' card, Joel was in a catch twenty two situation, if he protested at this, then Marcus would always doubt his intentions with said female for as long as he was in a relationship with her, so he had no option but to stand back and ignore his attraction to the woman who Marcus ended up marrying. And that was as far as it went.
For what it was worth. He had to go and see her, had to explain things. He had no idea what he'd say, what he'd do, but he had to do SOME thing.
He showered in some way, his head still throbbing beyond belief, then tried three times to get dressed. The sight of his bed was more than tempting, but he had a job to do and he had to do it now.
Sunglasses helped, he felt a little more human after some coffee and paracetamol. His stomach churned, he needed food but had nothing sensible in his fridge. The thought of picking up a greasy breakfast roll brought mixed reactions to his sensitive stomach, but it needed lining and he needed carbohydrates.
As he reached the foyer of his building, he heard someone call his voice, and looking up he saw Daniel sat on a ledge near the front door.
He rolled his eyes in frustration, even though it almost killed his head to do it, he had neither the desire nor the tolerance to speak to him of all people, "I have nothing to say to you Turner, you need to get out of my way."
Marching past him into the sunshine Joel flinched at the brightness of it all despite his shades. That split second of hesitation gave Daniel the time to catch up with him, fall into stride beside him.
"But I want to talk to you..." he could hear smugness in the younger man's voice and wanted to pummel him into the ground. If only he had the energy. "Got to say I'm kind of relieved that you finally know about Joanna and Scott."
Joel flinched at the harshness of that, he wished he didn't know anything about them; he hated the thought that his friend's memory would always be tarnished by this indiscretion. Well it was more than an indiscretion, it was abhorrent. God Marcus, what the hell were you thinking! He cursed his friend under his breath, still ignoring the man beside him.
"I'm not going away Edwards, I am here for keeps."
He stopped and turned to him, "I want nothing to do with you, with this...ANY of it. Just keep walking Turner, out of my life."
He started to march again as once more Daniel strode along next to him, this time laughing out loud. "I can't do that, you're the one who funded all these indiscretions...as you call them. So you ARE involved, and you'll KEEP being involved."
"Jesus who do you think you are? The Godfather? You're a twenty eight year wannabe! You work for Daddy because you lack the initiative and intelligence to do anything for yourself, so get back and polish his shoes, because that's all you're good for." He stared at him, "you're a disgrace to your brother's memory, you hear me?"
Reaching out an arm he hailed a taxi, fortunately one stopped immediately, but as he was climbing into the back of it, Daniel called after him, "if you won't listen to ME, listen to your lawyer!"
The feeling of nausea was back as the car flew off down the road. With a sense of anguish Joel pulled out his phone and called Toby.
Swimming with a baby was a perfect distraction. Eleanor loved it, and so did Sammy. Her daughter's smiles were infectious and her happiness rocketed as she temporarily forgot the trauma of the night before.
She hadn't really cared what had happened with Joel and Marcus, all that mattered is that he was doing the right thing for her now...but lying, that was something she didn't appreciate. She still hadn't fully understood what Marcus had done before he died, where he'd been...but she couldn't worry her head with that any more. He loved her, he'd done everything for her, that was the memory she wanted to keep.
All that Sammy had ever wanted was honesty and it seemed that Joel along with most of the rest of the world weren't committed to giving her that. If she over thought things, then she had to accept that she was the reason that Joel and Marcus weren't close when he died, she'd driven the wedge between them. She'd wanted to deny that with every breath in her body, but she'd heard from Joel's own lips that there had been a conversation about her. And that was the reality that stopped her dismissing all this as insignificant.
She hated that. And hated that he'd bloody lied to her.
Sighing she hauled herself and her daughter out of her the water and made for the changing rooms. Nothing ever lasted forever and she had to leave the cocoon of the pool at some point.
"We won't be long."
Corinne and Mike were heading to visit one of his friends, making the most of being in the City, but Sammy knew that Corinne was picking up on the tensions from previous night. If Mike hadn't been there then there was a high chance that she'd be sobbing in her best friend's arms. As it was, she had to pull on her big girls' pants and get on with it. Eleanor needed feeding, then she had to start on dinner, she'd promised Corinne her famous spinach and ricotta cannelloni, it wasn't a chore, but it wasn't the easiest meal to make.
Eleanor, fed, burped then fell asleep in her arms before she could make it as far as the nursery. She'd sleep for a while and it meant that Sammy could get herself organised.
The doorbell rang far too soon; Corinne MUST be worried if she was rushing back after less than an hour. Smiling she pulled the door open, the words, "what are you fussing about?" died on her lips as her eyes met Joel's, not Corinne's.
"Can I explain?" His sparkly eyes were dull and he looked pale, tired.
"Look maybe I over reacted storming out, but I am sick to death of people lying to me."
He nodded, "I know. And I can't deny that there was a conversation, but it changed nothing, it didn't make me step away from Marcus, I swear. It was Daniel, not Marcus who 'warned me off', told me that he thought I was too close to you. It wasn't true." He looked down for a moment, swallowing nervously, when his eyes lifted back to hers, he half smiled, "you are an amazing person, anyone can see that. But I was never jealous of your relationship with Marcus, not like that. Of course I would love to meet someone and settle down...but I wasn't about to interfere, I wasn't wanting to take his relationship. I swear."
She gave a half smile, "but you did it before?"
He shrugged, "he told you that hey? In college Marcus dated a girl called Meredith, she was never interested in him, she loved what he stood for, he was popular, had money, she got off on that, any fool could see that. When she finally moved on, she told him it was because I had made a move on her. It wasn't, I hadn't, she got bored and it was easier to blame me than admit she wasn't getting what she wanted. But some people don't listen to the whole story."
"Daniel?"
Nodding he ran a hand through his hair, "amongst others. Me and him have never got on, truth be told I think he was jealous of my friendship with his brother. It's different, you know, but I was never trying to be a brother to Marcus."
She led Joel into the flat and offered him a drink, he almost groaned at the thought of a coffee, and that made her laugh.
"Too much to drink last night?"
He nodded, "too stressful."
"Is it all sorted now?"
"Well I've apologised to you, that was important."
She looked up anxiously, "I'm sensing a 'but'?"
Joel had no idea how he was going to explain things that he didn't understand to her. But he had called Toby who had apparently been trying to call him constantly since waking. Daniel had played him for a fool. He'd played them all. He still had no idea how he was going to get to the bottom of everything, or how he was going to survive another huge financial hit, but somehow a gigantic debt in the name of her husband, his best friend had appeared. After three hours of consultation with his lawyers and financial advisors it seemed the only solution to this problem was to sell this very flat. It represented his only disposable income, and the debt, somehow secured against his business would break everything if he let Sammy keep her home.
But she had no idea that when she came to him it was him that had bought the place, she still thought Marcus had owned it and the repossession orders were a mistake.
It was a mess.
Taking a deep breath he turned to her.
"I don't know how to tell you this..."