Dedicated to EVERLARK_4ever and live-life-king-size I just wanted to say thank you so much for being a huge support to my story.
When my eyebrows became bushy again, I didn't frown. When my leg hair grew back, I didn't sigh. But apparently this is what my reaction should have been. My prep team exclaim and take in shocked breaths at my appearance.
"How can Peeta live with someone so hairy?"Octavia Exclaims. I clinch my teeth as another round of waxing begins and try to keep the tears at bay.
"He probably doesn't know anything else, I'm sure all the women here are like that." Flavius tells us as if it's the only answer. My once long, leg hair, bushy eyebrows, and messy hair have been torn away once again.
The door opens and my heart rises in the hopes of having Peeta on the other side, but it isn't him. Instead it's the one person who understood me before I understood myself. Someone who has helped me in every way possible. Cinna.
"Hey girl on fire, I hear we will be having another little Mellark running around here soon." He tells me with an uncertain face, as if he isn't sure how to react. I simply nod my head and pat the seat next to me. His brown eyes stare into mine as he takes the seat and waits for the truth about how I feel. I take a deep breath and promise myself I won't cry, but deep down I know that's a promise I can't keep.
"Cinna, to understand how I feel about this you have to know that I never wanted this. I never wanted to fall in love, get married, and I especially didn't want to have kids. I always thought that I'd grow old in the seam with my mother and sister, but we both know that's not what happened. Peeta showed me that falling in love wasn't so bad and that getting married was actually pretty great. But no matter what he does, he'll never be able to erase my fear of having kids. " I tell him while a tear slides down my cheek, followed by another.
"He doesn't know that I cry myself to sleep at night, or that I have nightmares of loosing this baby. And I don't want him to know, but at the same time I feel like I'm lying to him. As if I'm keeping everything a secret. I'm trying to be happy, I really am. But I don't see the point in living a life of happiness when in a split second it will be taken away from me. Every parent fears the reapings, but my fear is taking over my life. I love this child, but I'm scared for it too." I begin to sob and make a choking noise.
"Shhh child, everything will be alright. Katniss, I know that right now it seems as if the world is an awful place, but underneath the Capitol it isn't so bad. Maybe as a parent it's your job to fear the reapings. If fear is what it takes for you to love the baby then don't stop. Fear for the baby, but don't let it cloud your mind. You need to raise this baby to be another Mockingjay." He tells me softly while calming my nerves. And it's in that moment I realize what he is telling me, I can't raise this baby as another Victors child, bound to be thrown in the games. I have to raise a rebel, someone who will fight.
"One more smile for the camera!" The photographer yells from behind the multiple flashes of light. I suck in my tummy trying to conceal my belly, put on my Capitol smile, and silently hate the man behind the Capitol. "Very nice, very nice. Now take a seat, but don't crush your beautiful wedding dress."
He tells me as he leaves the room and closes the door.
Ignoring his request, I lay myself flat on the couch crushing every pearl beneath me. "Rough day?" He asks me from above my head. Giving my lips a peck, I open my eyes just the slightest to see his charming smile.
"You could say that." I say aggravated with the tight dress. "I wish we could live in our house and be alone forever." I tell him while pulling him on the couch with me. He chuckles and begins to rub my back.
"Okay, I know I'm irresistible but you have to be able to be away from me for more than an hour." He tells me while giving me his smirk and laughing at my face.
"And I thought you loved me." I tell him with a pouty face.
"I do, I love you more than anything." He tells me while he moves to leave, but I catch his hand at the last moment.
"You aren't going anywhere." I tell him while pulling him back down.
"Katniss, Katniss!" Prim yells running into mine and Peeta's house. The last time she came running into our house with a screaming voice, Peeta was being whipped. My blood runs cold at what could be wrong now. I practically fall off of my chair in my haste to reach her. When my eyes meet hers and I see no scratches, my heart rises just the slightest. Her blue eyes aren't filled with worry and sorrow, but they are beaming with joy and happiness.
"They sent us home early today for a mandatory viewing. I think it's going to be your wedding dresses!" She squeals with desire at the thought.
"Prim, that was only yesterday. They can't possibly be ready to show the world the pictures yet." I tell her in hopes of not only convincing my little duck, but myself as well. I hear the door open and close once more, and this time there is no screaming. Until Prim sees who it is.
"Peeta, Peeta, Peeta!" She yells running into the foyer and jumping in his arms. As Peeta swings her around, a smile forms on my lips of him doing this with our child one day. I continue to hear them laughing and talking, while I make the tea and set out a few cookies.
"What!" Peeta asks excitedly, although I can see he is exaggerating just for Prim. When we came back from the games he not only got closer to me, but also to Prim. In a different way of course. After admiring their relationship I asked Prim one day why she got so close to Peeta. Her answer has stuck with me even now.
"Because Katniss, sooner or later he is going to be my big brother and I want to be the sister he never had."
I'm torn from the memory of the sight of them each taking a cookie and crushing it in their mouths. Their golden hair and bright blue eyes shine as they talk. They share looks, personalities, and even beliefs, yet in my mind they are completely different. She's the little sister I can't let go of and he's the man I'm in love with. I guess Prim was right, he is her brother now.
"Hey babe." Peeta gives me a peck on the lips and laughs at Prim's face.
"Eww, you guys!" She says while her face turns red. While most people would laugh it off, this acutely makes me happy. To know that my little duck is still sure that boys have cuties.
"I told Katniss that they are having a mandatory viewing tonight and I think it will be her wedding dresses! Isn't that so exciting." She tells us as she explains to Peeta all about the dresses. The pearls that drape off of my dress, or the lace that hangs around my veil.
"Prim, I wouldn't get too excited about this. It probably is just an announcement about the Capitol." I tell her. She rolls her eyes and grabs another cookie before getting down from her stool.
"Katniss, you're such a fun sponge. Always taking away the exciting things in life." She says while waving bye and leaving the room. Peeta laughs and I give him a glare, daring him to laugh at me again.
When we gather around the television at seven-thirty that night, we see Caesar Flickerman on screen gushing over wedding dresses. Prim begins to gush about each dress, while Peeta merely smiles, though his arm tightens around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. I rest my head on his shoulder as we continue to watch my photo shoot. At the end, the crowd is in tears at the sight of the final picture.
I'm laying on the couch with the pearl wedding dress shining in the sunlight, but my smile is radiant. And it's not because I'm in a photoshoot, but because Peeta is laying next to me. Blue eyes are meeting grey eyes and the intensity between them does not go unnoticed. His hand rests below my belly button, on top of our child. The child that Panem now knows about.
"Wow, that's my favorite. You look so happy." Prim tells us as she melts at the picture.
Finally, it's over, though Caesar reminds the audience to cast their final vote by noon tomorrow. I'm just about to tell Prim to turn off the television when Caesar tells us to stay tuned. "That's right, this year will be the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Hunger Games, and that means it's time for our third Quarter Quell!"
"That isn't for months, what are they doing?" I ask no one in particular. My mom turns to face me and has a solemn look on her pale face.
"It must be the reading of the card." She tells us. As if on cue, the president himself walks out onstage with a small wooden box. We all know what's inside, it's the announcement of how he is going to ruin our lives this time.
He speaks about the previous quells, what they did to deserve it and what the card had in store for them that year. My ears tune out, that is until he says the third quarter quell.
"And now we honor our third Quarter Quell," he says, actually having the gall to smile, and I can't help but feel he is smiling just for me. He unfolds the envelope gingerly, and immediately reads, "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the districts that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."
My mind goes blank. For a moment, nothing processes. But then I hear a cry somewhere in the room and Prim buries her face in her hands. Peeta's fingers tighten around mine and that is when it all clicks in my brain. I make one awful conclusion.
I'm going back into the arena.
Flee. Run. Get out there.
It all runs though my head, but a pair of strong arms wrap around me and keep me grounded.
A.N. Hey everyone! So yes I did do this. I know I know I'm awful for sending her back to the arena, but I couldn't resist! Who knows, things might be different. Do you think she'll make it out? So she is currently 3 months pregnant. (12 weeks.) Hope y'all are liking the story so far!
Quote from next chapter comes from.....Gale!
"I know her better, and trust me when I tell you that she is in the woods."