It hurt. I don't mean it was like someone poking you with a stick, I mean it was like a thousand bodybuilders smashing pointy sticks into every inch of you. I tried to open my eyes, but it felt as if they were being forced shut. I wanted to struggle, but I knew it was no use.
I was seriously being defeated by a tree. This wasn't right.
I'd felt close to death since I was eleven. I never told anyone, but I did. I felt the hollowness creeping into my chest, just below my collar bone. I'd tried to ignore it, but the fire... It grew. It didn't just grow, it took over my body. I didn't want to function. It felt like my entire body was being weighed down and nothing was worth working to move to finish something.
I'd wanted to die. I'd tried and I'd failed. I didn't have cats, and cats' claws certainly don't dig into your flesh deep enough to bleed for a week.
That being said, I was not going to die because of this. I just wouldn't. I am Phoenix Lucis, and I will choose my own fate. I don't choose death by tree.
With that thought in my head, I tried something truly terrifying; I stopped struggling. I went limp, and, as expected, the tree started to wrap tighter and tighter around me. I took as deep of a breath that I could, and focused as much power as I could on the tree suffocating me. I almost cried at the thought of what I was doing, but I ignored common sense. I heard the awful gush and roar of the flames as they leapt from my body and wrapped around it, the tree catching quickly. I let out a terrified yelp, opening my eyes for a moment and seeing the fire.
The pieces sliced my skin and reopened old scars. They all either brushed or snagged my skin, like saying goodbye as they thinned and flew off in the wind. Suddenly, I was coughing and sputtering on my knees. It felt like my body was melting, limbs turning to soup. I was shaking, my face nearly hitting the dirt. It felt like my lungs were on fire, ashes clogging my throat.
"Phoenix!" I heard Jake call. I felt hands picking me up, one arm wrapping under my shoulder blade and the other under my knees.
"I can't run while holding her!" Said a worried voice I knew was Shane. It dawned on me that it was Shane who was holding me, and Jake was brushing the ash and hair from my face.
I opened my eyes, pushing Shane away. "N-no. I can run." My throat hurt from just that much.
Shane let me down slowly, his arm still around my shoulders. "Phoenix..."
"Don't be stubborn!" Jake snapped. "Let us carry you! You used a lot of power to get me out of there. Not many could do that."
"Shut u-up, Jake." I rolled my eyes, shrugging Shane's arm off me. "Come on... We don't have long..." I coughed, and to my horror, smoke poured from my lungs. I tried to shake it off, and stumbled forward. I caught my fall with my hand at the last moment, holding in a yelp of pain. I looked at my hand and already saw a bruise forming along my wrist. Sprained.
"Phoenix!" Shane said, helping me to my feet. "Your wrist..."
I huffed. "No time. I didn't throw myself into a killer tree to have you die from trying to help me."
Jake looked up at me. "Phoenix. Jump when I tell you to." His green eyes glinted in a way I knew I'd regret, but I nodded silently. I was too drained to protest now. Jake closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, then opened them again. There was an orange hue to them. "Now!" He said, grinning.
I did as I was told. When I expected my feet to hit the ground again, I felt air swoop up under me. Scratches formed where Jake's leaves were billowing around beneath me, holding me up. I looked at Jake, who had a devilish grin across his face. He was missing his arm from the shoulder down. He was holding me up. "I could drop you." He said, his eyes turning back to green.
"Don't..." While my voice wasn't very intimidating when it had no force behind it, Jake's smile vanished.
"They're waking up. Let's go." Shane said, noticing the trees starting to move in towards us.
Jake nodded. "Yeah. We should get going. Where is Shyanne?"
"I told her to keep running." I explained half heartedly, wanting to pass out. I what catching on to what happened when you fell asleep in the Dream Void, though. You went back to reality. Reality was a nightmare from here. It was almost worse than my normal nightmares.
"She'll be fine if she got out of the woods. This place is just crawling with monsters." Jake's tone told me I should have known this.
"We need to get to her." Shane concluded.
"Thanks, Captain Obvious." I grumbled. For some odd reason, seeing the half smile/half scowl hybrid that appeared on Shane's face energized me, if only slightly.
A shriek rang through the woods. I knew it was Shyanne. I felt it inside of me. I could feel it resonating through my bones. "SHY!" I shouted without thinking. "MOVE IT, JAKE!" I screamed, now feeling wide awake.
On cue, Shane and Jake bolted into action. They ran towards the scream, dodging trees and roots expertly. A few times, I was sure Jake was going to hurl me into the wide, menacing trunks of trees. Luckily, Jake wasn't so twitchy when he ran.
The trees started to thin, and suddenly we burst forth into a wide clearing. Shyanne was in the middle, her bow and arrows drawn. She was crouched down in the long, waving, golden grass. Her hair whipped around her tan face, no doubt stinging her focused green eyes. There was one question lingering in my head: What was she shooting? I couldn't see anything...
Just as this thought crossed my mind, Shyanne was thrown across the field, screaming. Amazingly, as she fell, she managed to notch an arrow and shoot it into the seemingly thin air. Possibly more amazing, I watched as the arrow locked itself into the air, flailing around. It was lodged in something.
Something horrible happened; the arrow was ripped out of the air, and it rippled. I saw what it had hit. It was large, the size of half the White House. The back half of its body was covered in dark green scales, its long, red tail swishing back and forth. It held itself on long legs, all black with claws digging into the earth. It's face was like Grumpy Cat meets an angry pug. Black hairs sprung out over its back, collecting at its head. Black spikes shot out from its spine, and vines seemed to be growing out of every crevice of the creature. Beady black eyes stared at Shyanne, it's large nostrils flaring. Just as it had appeared, I was glad to see it shimmer back to its former state.
"A... A..." Jake's eyes were glued to the thing, wide and terrified.
"What the hell is that thing?!" Shane yelped, his eyes glazed over in fear.
"It's... A-A..." Jake's words stumbled out from his lips, and he gulped. "A beale."
"Where did it come from?" I asked, determined to keep Shyanne safe.
"They're summoned, only by dark forest spirits, to attack whomever they choose." Jake shook his head. "I-I can't... The forest has turned to the Nightmare." He said, his voice emulating his fear.
It all hit me at once. The tree swallowing me up, burning the forest, the trees revolting. I started to shake, holding back my arm from punching myself. "It was me. It was my fault. The forest wants me."
"What? Don't talk like that." Shane scolded, turning his polychromatic eyes towards me.
"No, no..." Jake looked at me, his eyes shimmering the color of the forest itself. "It was you... You burned them." He quickly shook his head. "But it's not really your fault. Not this, at least."
I huffed. "Stop trying to make me feel better." Hopping off of Jake's leaves, I started thinking of ways to help Shyanne. "We have to help her escape." I shuddered, and Shane brought an arm around my waist to steady me.
"Maybe you should stay back here..." Shane advised.
"I-I'll stay too!" Jake called, forcing a wide smile.
"No time. We need to help." I snapped, glaring at the boys. "I don't matter if she's in jeopardy."
"Fine..." Jake submitted, holding his head down.
"Let's go. No complaining. And stay quiet." I said sternly. I shot a warning glare in Shane's direction. I took a deep breath. "Jake, try to get over by leaf to Shy. She needs to get out of here first. Shane, you go with them. I'll handle that... Thing."
"The beale." Jake said. "Phoenix, the only way to defeat one... Well, the person who threatened the forest must be defeated. Please..." He looked down. Shane's wide eyes caught mine. He was silently begging us to switch places. "Please, stay safe."
I nodded slowly. "Whatever. You too, ya big dorks." With that, I shooed them away. Shane stuck by me. "I'll see you over." I told him. I summoned my sword, turning away from the flames. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake disperse into leaves. I watched patches of grass becoming flat with each step of the massive beast. "When it's hit, I want you to run to Shy. She..." I shook my head. She wasn't doing well. I could tell. She hadn't moved since the beale had thrown her.
With that, I took a deep breath and charged, headlong, at the beast. I aimed for where the grass was flattening most, and slashed into its leg. As expected, it rippled into existence before me, a gargantuan face staring down at me. "Now!" I realized all too late that, with my sword lodged in the beale's leg, I had no weapon. I gulped back my surge of fear and stared back at it.
A deep, rumbling, male voice echoed in my mind. "Lucis." It whispered. I actualized in horror that the voice was coming from the beale itself. Jake must've not known this because he'd never angered a forest. In my defense, I never had either. Apparently until now.
I gulped, trying to steady my breathing. "You kn-know me." I stuttered. His great eyes looked me over. I went rigid as he reached his large head down to sniff me. He pulled away, once more towering over me.
"Yes, Phoenix. You destroyed my people." He grumbled into my head, staring me down. My knees started to weaken, a stone forming in my gut, dragging me down slowly. I did my best to swallow all that down. I'd deal with my trauma later.
"I didn't mean to. I-I..." I shook my head, bangs falling into my eyes. I was glad for a reason not to peer into those sad, empty, lonely, terrifying, void that the beale called eyes. "It was..." I stopped, realizing I was playing "blame it on." When I was a child, Mackenzie and I would see who could be most convincing. Sadly, it was time I took charge of my own mistakes. There was no one to blame. "I did it." I finally mumbled.
A low, hollow sound like stones falling rumbled around me. I knew it must have been a "Hmmm" for next the beale said, "Interesting... Most humans deny their wrong doings. Though you're hardly normal, are you, Lucis?"
I kept my eyes to the swaying grass. "Just do it. I know you have to defeat me to..." I trailed off. What did beales do in their free time?
"Sleep, Phoenix. I sleep." He muttered in a bland tone, reminding me of a tired old man. For a moment, I wasn't afraid of the great beast. A part of me took him for majestic. That small part shattered as the beast opened his huge mouth and showed long, yellowed fangs. He bellowed a roar loud enough to shake the forest behind me. I winced, but held my ground. He raised up a substantial paw above me, ready to smash me into oblivion.
I squeezed my eyes shut, sure this would be my end. Expecting the crunches and snaps of my own bones breaking, I nearly jumped out of my skin when he screamed. My eyes flew opened as the beale spun around, my sword falling at my feet.
"You won't touch her!" I heard a voice shout. I realized I could still see the beale. Jake! Jake had struck it, probably with one of his terrifyingly sharp edged leaves. That meant... The beale was turning on him!
"No!" I screamed, finding my courage. I ran to the other side of the beale, stumbling from lack of energy. All this fire and fear was exhausting me quickly. Sure enough, Jake was staring up at the beast, his face showing none of his prior fear. "Jake." I called out again, getting to his side.
"Phoenix, get out of here. I've gotten the other Dreamers out of range of this thing." Jake said, never moving his eyes from the beale's. His eyes were becoming darker. Their green was almost unrecognizable.
"Jake, no." I held my sword up, letting it glint in the bright light of the now risen sun. "This is my monster. Let me face it."
"No." He spoke simply.
"He is mine." The beale growled, all previous kindness and wisdom gone from his tone.
"No." I said, realizing I had the same tone Jake did. A teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy part of me thought of the scrawny kid as a brother. A nerdy, stupid, clumsy little brother. "Jake, get behind me." I tossed my sword into one hand, the other behind me to feel for the boy's arm.
"No, Phoenix!" He shouted as I grabbed his thin elbow. "Phoenix!" He protested, pulling his arm from my grip.
I didn't turn from the beast. "Jake, behind me. Now."
"Phoenix!" He shouted, trying to push past my arm.
Finally, all those damned push ups and arm strength came in handy. I wouldn't let him pass. I turned my back on my fear, on the beale. "JAKE! GET BEHIND ME AND STAY THERE! I WON'T LET YOU GET HURT!" I let myself go, screaming in his face. He looked at me, terrified. He turned and ran, not looking back. I felt the shatter in my chest as I saw the flash of red blaze past me, slamming into Jake. I listened, powerless, to his scream until he hit the ground hard. I could see his thin body slam into the grass and bounce forward, limp. "No!" I shrieked. I turned, feeling my eyes burning into the beale's own voids. I could see the reflection of the fire in my eyes in the blackness of his. "He was not your problem, beale." I snarled, my voice sounding braver than I felt.
He gazed down at me. "Until defeated." He mumbled, and turned himself around, sulking back into the darkness of the forest.
I swallowed back my anger and fear and pure exhaustion, letting my sword disappear into smoke. In that moment, I wanted to do the same. We hadn't even gotten to Kayla yet, and I already wanted to disappear.
I took a deep breath, praying to whatever God was up there that Jake and Shy and Shane and just everyone was okay. I started jogging, then running towards the form in the grass I knew to be Jake.
I reached his body, breathless and wanting to collapse. No. I told myself. Not now. I can't let him die. I looked down at him, through the leaves that had started to cover his body. I put my head to his chest, and heard the faint heartbeat, and his jagged breathing getting caught in his lungs. I felt his ribs, arms, neck, and legs for any breaks before lifting him up. He was lucky. As far as I could tell, Jake had only sustained a broken wrist and leg. It could have been worse. I was glad it wasn't. I was also glad Jake weighed about as much as my book bag.
I didn't know how long I walked through that grass, but my legs were bloody by the time I saw them. I didn't know if they were bloody from the grass clawing at my jeans, or from the blood pouring out of Jake's wounds. It didn't matter. I could feel his tiny bones moving with each breath he took, and I knew I had to keep that going. I had to keep him safe.
Shane and Shyanne's forms raced towards me. Shyanne had an arm around Shane, using him as a crutch. I was vaguely aware of someone trying to take the small life form out of my arms. "No..." I breathed, trudging forward, forcing my legs to keep moving and my arms to stay stiff around Jake.
"Phoenix!" Shane's voice seemed far away. I ignored him and Shyanne's voice begging behind me. I kept Jake near me as I fell onto the rough, but somehow welcoming, grass. I refused to let Jake go as I fell asleep, holding his tiny body near mine so I knew he wouldn't fade away without me, like Kayla had on Shane. Like Jael had on Shy. Like everyone else had on me.