Thursday morning when I walked into school, it was Macy that I met inside the doors instead of Trent. I was confused but I definitely preferred her over him. She informed me that Trent was out sick today and that she'd heard it while passing a few of the guys on the football team on her way in. This could be good or bad. I had another day to build myself up to confronting Trent but it was also cutting it really close. If things didn't go in my favor, it could be the end of Harry and I. The thought made me heart ache.
Macy asked about my mom and I told her how she'd got released from the hospital last night and how she'd woke me up earlier. I'd never heard of getting released from a hospital at such a bizarre time but I didn't question it. My mom seemed jittery and still not completely herself.
My day was going by torturously slow and by lunch time my nerves had me about to puke. I nibbled at my pizza, not much in the mood for eating. I hadn't ate breakfast either, leaving a bowl of cereal untouched on the counter. My mom had asked me to get a restraining order against my dad and I just avoided the conversation by excusing myself off to school.
After lunch ended I hid in a stall in the bathrooms that were farthest away from my next class and the main office. I waited until the bell rang and everyone was in class to pull out my phone and call Harry. He was on his lunch break at work and today I really didn't care if I was late to class.
We only talked for a few minutes but it felt good to hear his voice. He had noticed the nervousness and stress in my voice, worrying about how I was doing. He told me to come to his house after school, there would be a key under the mat, and that he would be home a little after four. I couldn't help but smile that he trusted me enough to be in his house without him.
My last classes of the day seemed to drag on and on but eventually the final bell rang. Fifteen minutes later I was parking in Harry's driveway, still nervous and still stressing about how everything would go tomorrow. It was going to be a big day, one that could break Harry and I.
I found the key under the mat where Harry had explained and let myself in. His big house seemed so empty and quiet when I was the only one here. I wondered if it felt the same way to Harry when he was home alone. My mind drifted as I waited on his couch. I thought about what it would be like to start a life in another country. Did Harry ever miss home? Did he ever go visit his family back in England? I had so many questions.
Before I knew it, Harry startled me out of my reveries by barging right into his front door. I greeted him, standing up and walking towards him. He met me halfway and hugged me tight, bringing his face back in front of mine for a long kiss.
"It's been too long. We need to make it a point to see each other more. I missed you." Harry said, still hugging me.
"Yes, definitely," I agreed. "Its only been since Sunday but I've missed you like crazy."
Harry made us chef salads in his kitchen and we ate them standing at the counter, each drinking a glass of lemonade. Both tasted great and I was happy to see him but the terrible feeling kept seeping into me that this could be the last time Harry and I have dinner together.
I must of done a bad job at disguising my thoughts because after Harry placed our dishes in his sink, he wrapped me in another hug. He had a concerned look on his face, eyebrows furrowing.
"Jess, are you okay? Is something bothering you?"
"Just stressing about my parents and some tests at school."
I hated lying to him but I had to, just for one more day after this. Anyways, it wasn't all fake, I was definitely stressing about my mom. It just bothered me that I couldn't tell him what was I was worrying about the most.
"How about we just get comfortable and watch a movie. I'll give you a shoulder massage, release some of that tension."
I nodded.
"First, I'll have to get out of this." Harry said, pointing down at his work clothes. "Suits aren't really my favorite thing to wear around the house."
"I kind of like you in a suit." I said, laughing.
Harry winked and started away from me towards his stairs. He motioned me to come with him.
"Which ones?" Harry asked once we were in his room. He held out a pair of athletic shorts in each hand, one red and the other black.
"You look really good in black." I said.
I watched as Harry changed out of his suit and into the shorts. My eyes danced over his lean body and toned muscles. He must find time somewhere to work out to have that nice of a body. He caught me staring and I looked down to the floor.
"It's okay, you can look all you want. I'm all yours now."
I gave a shy smile and he walked to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. One hand slid up my back and and he pressed me against his body. His mouth sucked on the skin of my neck, just below my ear. I guided his face to mine and brushed my lips over his. He tasted sweet and minty as his tongue pushed my lips apart, dipping into my mouth.
Harry walked us backwards to the edge of his bed and and guided us down, his body weight pushing down on me. My mind had already started to cloud up and I couldn't think of anything but Harry's body on mine. He had that kind of effect on me. I ran my hands over his long back, feeling his muscles under my palms. He kissed me, a deep passionate kiss. His hands slid under my sweater, prodding below my ribs. They came up further and cupped my bare breasts beneath my bra. He slid one hand back down, pushing my thighs apart before shifting his body. I could feel him, hard and heavy, between my legs. Some of my worries had went out the window the moment he kissed me.
"I love you." I breathed out in a gasp.
Harry froze up on top of me and I did the same. I hadn't meant for that to slip out. I didn't even know I was thinking it. It had somehow accidentally fell from my mouth. As the seconds ticked by with Harry still frozen on top of me I realized that it was true. I guess I did love Harry. It'd only been a little over a month but I couldn't imagine how my life would be without him. I felt sick when I thought about losing him.
I loved Harry.
When I opened my eyes Harry's eyes were open too, staring at me with an intense expression that I couldn't quite decipher. His bottom lip was sucked into his mouth and he started to unfreeze, the tension that had his back stiffened up seeping out, little by little.
"I. . ."
Harry cut me off, rubbing his thumb down my cheek. "I love you, Jess."
My heart lurched inside my chest and I thought it was going to fall out. It was like I wasn't getting enough air to my lungs. I loved Harry and he loved me. I couldn't stop smiling and Harry laughed, smiling back. Things would work out tomorrow. They had to work out because we loved each other.
Harry's mouth returned to mine. He kissed me hungrily and hard and in a way that I knew he was in charge. He pulled my sweater off and left it laying on the edge of the bed. He pushed his lower body against me and I bit my lip, holding back any noises.
"You love me?" I asked, still not believing it fully.
"Yes, I love you, babe." Harry said against my mouth.
I raised up from the bed just enough for Harry to reach under me and unhook my bra. His bare chest rubbed over mine as we kissed and I whimpered into his mouth. His hand slipped between us and stopped at the edge of my leggings. We were both breathing hard and everything felt so intense. Every move he made seemed to bring me higher. I moved my hands over his back and with a bold move on my part, I pushed his shorts down his thighs.
We kissed, touched, and moaned together, writhing, thrusting, and rubbing against each other's bodies. Harry's hair was wet with sweat and my forehead was starting to dampen. We could have been doing just that for minutes or hours. When I was this way with Harry, I lost track of time. We were both naked now, skin on skin. My body began to tremble.
"I want to fuck you so bad, Jess." Harry growled against my mouth.
"Please do," I said after a minute.
I'd never been so ready for something in my life but also nervous at the same time. Harry loved me and I trusted him. He wouldn't leave me if he loved me, would he? Even if he seen me with Trent at the dance? I could explain to him what was going on, but not now.
"You're going to let me?"
"Yes,"
Harry climbed from the top of me and dug into a drawer in his night stand. I heard a tearing sound and I knew what it was without looking. It made my breath hitch in my throat. This was the moment. I was going to lose my virginity to Harry. I never imagined losing it to my doctor or to a man that was nine years older than me but now I couldn't imagine losing it to anyone else. No matter how wrong this might be, it felt right in so many more ways.
I arched my back as he crawled to my side and licked into my mouth. His hands ran down the length of my body, making me tremble. He rubbed his palm between my legs, pushing two fingers into me easily and making me cry out. His mouth left mine and kissed over my neck, then sucking on each of my breasts.
"Harry," I breathed, getting a little impatient.
"I'm making sure you're ready. I don't want to hurt you."
"I'm ready, I think."
I'd never had sex before but I wanted Harry inside me more than anything right now. My nerves were all but gone as he worked me with his hands and kissed my lips as he done so.
Harry lifted one leg over my body, climbing on top of me. He pushed my thighs apart to get in the middle. His green eyes were dark as they stared into mine and I could smell the crisp scent of his cologne lingering on his skin. My heart sped up. He reached between us to line hisself up and I felt his hard tip press against me, making me gasp.
"Just kiss me," Harry said.
I tilted my face up to his to brush my lips over his mouth. Harry took control of the kiss, making it sweet, deep. He moved his hips forward, pushing into me slowly. I gasped at the foreign feeling, my eyes screwing shut. His mouth was still on mine as he pushed in deeper. My breathing came out shaky and I hummed into our kiss. It hurt in the best way. His length stretched my insides and I felt a pinching when he pushed all the way in.
I could feel my pulse everywhere in my body and I wrapped my arms around Harry's back, pressing him to me. Harry's hair stuck to his forehead in sweaty clumps and I brushed it out of his face.
"Can I move?" Harry asked.
"Yes,"
Harry rolled his hips over mine in slow motion, his head tilting back. He bit down on his lip and let out a deep moan. I whimpered as he moved inside me.
"Are you okay?"
Harry's voice was strained and husky as he spoke against my neck.
"Yes... Mmm,"
The intense pain had stopped but it still burned. Harry thrust into me harder now and hit a spot that drove me crazy. I moaned out his name as he hit it over and over again. An overly sweet sensation had settled over my body and I'd never felt closer to anyone. I kissed Harry's lips, pushing my tongue into his mouth. He was breathing just as hard as I was.
"You're doing so good, baby. Mmm, damn," Harry moaned.
I arched my body up at the deep, gravelly sound of his moan and he repeated it again as I did so. I lifted my body upwards to meet his thrusts, making him kiss me harder. My eyes closed and I could tell I was getting close. The muscles in the lower stomach clenched deliciously.
Harry kissed me slowly, sweetly, and I could tell by the strained expression on his face that he was holding back, working hard to control himself. He kissed me all over, his soft lips brushing over my collarbone, my neck, my shoulders, my jaw, and back to my mouth. I should have let him do this before now. He had been wanting me this entire time and now a month and a half worth of sexual tension was coming to life all at once. I could tell Harry knew what he was doing. He'd brought me to the edge quickly, keeping me there and pleasuring me until I couldn't take anymore.
"Don't hold back." I whispered. "I can handle it. Go hard."
"Fuck," Harry moaned. "Don't say that if you're not sure."
Harry started moving a fraction faster, pushing the tiniest bit harder. His green eyes locked on mine to watch my reaction. I winced as he thrust hard. His toned muscles pulled and contracted under his smooth skin, under my hands that were splayed over his back. I couldn't breathe as I watched him start to come undone above me. His eyes were half shut as he kissed me before burying his face in the crook of my neck. I watched over his shoulder how his body moved, how in control he was.
Harry's deep, guttural moan along with him thrusting in just the right angle sent me completely over the edge. I clung to him, scratching and clawing at his back. Our bodies were sliding against each other's, sweaty and slick. I found Harry's mouth with my own for a wet kiss amidst my impossible high. He kissed me back hard, hungrily, a carnal look in his half closed eyes. He moved inside again, more of a jerky motion and tangled his hands into my hair. He hid his face in my neck, sucking and nipping at the skin there as he climaxed and I was still coming down from my own.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you, too. I really love you." I said back, voice almost inaudible.
I felt so close to Harry now, closer than I'd ever felt to anyone else. I felt in sync with him, a deep connection. I hoped he felt the same. I didn't know where my body ended and his began until he pulled out of me. It left me feeling strangely empty. A dull ache settled in my center as Harry pulled the covers back for us and I cuddled into him.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked, pressing kisses to my forehead. "I didn't go too hard?"
"I'm fine, maybe a little sore, and no. You were great."
Harry held me in his arms and I never wanted to move. The smell of his minty breath, his sweat, and his cologne mixed around me. I placed kisses to his chest and rubbed down his back.
"You really caught me off guard earlier." Harry said. "I'd been wanting to tell you that I love for for about a week now but I was afraid I would scare you off. I'm glad you said it."
"It slipped out accidentally but I meant it." I said, raking damp curls back from his face. "Anyways, you couldn't scare me away if you tried."
Harry gave me a smile and kissed my lips. My eyes fluttered shut as I lay in his arms under the covers.
"I know it's kind of early but I'm tired. You wore me out." I said.
"You're welcome." Harry said smugly.
I twisted, nuzzling into his chest and closing my eyes. Everything would be okay tomorrow. It had to be.
"I love you." I heard Harry say as I fell asleep.
(((So what did you think? ;) ...Next chapter is the homecoming dance, woo hoo! if you liked this chapter and you're excited for the next one please don't forget to vote!!)))