Edited:
Published: Saturday, October 3rd 6:17 pm 2015
Ayah:
Its only been five minutes since I've sat down to talk to my Uncle and I I already have worrying thoughts. What could have happened? What could be so bad to bring my Uncle here? I know he travels a lot for business and all, but why now? It's all so sudden. I need some ice cream for all of this worrying...
"So, what was so important about Jafar that you had to come all this way? I love you, Uncle Yaman, but I don't want your trip here wasted."
"This is important for the both of you," He declared. "For the past few days before Jafar left, I was in contact with him. We were discussing his career."
"You were the one he was always texting?" I asked my Uncle in disbelief and he nodded, not a drop of guilt coating his face.
"Yes, that was me. We were making plans for what we were going to do with his career and record label. We were finding a way out for you both."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Uncle Yaman sighed and pursed his lips.
"I didn't want to give you false hope, my dear. We are very close to ending everything now, but I couldn't go on until you knew the truth."
I gulped. "What is the truth?"
"Jafar didn't want to leave you but pressure to make things right with you led him to do stupid things. I knew that when he told you about his departure, you would be broken, but it needed to be done. But now that you're possibly pregnant..."
I lifted my head up with wide eyes. "You know?!"
"I do. But I don't get why you don't want to know?"
I shrugged."I'm scared. I don't want to know the truth because it's not the right timing for such. I just can't, Uncle Yaman."
I felt the first tear roll down my face and sniffed. It's just too much now. Uncle Yaman moved from his position on the couch to sit and comfort me.
"Ayah, you have people that care about you and are willing to be there for you. Let them. You need to let someone in."
I don't remember the last time I just cried. Everything has been so emotional lately, but I've never cried. I guess I didn't have anymore tears left to shed. But now? It's all coming out full swing and I can't stop it. I don't want to. I just want to let it out.
"You need to talk to him."
I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand and shook my head.
"I can't. It hurts to much."
"Ayah," He sighed. "It will hurt more if you don't."
-*-
Uncle Yaman left about twenty minutes ago. After our talk, he stayed for dinner so we could catch up. The whole time I felt the questioning looks on everyone's faces, and I know they're going to ask questions.
"Hey, Ayah," Jamila smiled awkwardly from where she stood in front of me. Since I cooked, Lee and Iffah offered to do the dishes. Isabella left some time ago, but she warned me that we needed to talk. I've only known her for a few days, but I feel like we're old friends.
"Hey," I smiled back. "You want to sit?"
Jamila nodded and sat next to me. I can't exactly talk to her about what's going on. She's my best friend, but Jafar is her brother. I can't risk telling her and she ends up telling her family. Uncle Yaman and I had an understanding before he left. He's going to be in town for business the next couple of days, which gives him the prefect opportunity to take me to the doctors.
I'm going to stop being a child about it and face up to my responsibilities. If I am indeed pregnant, I'm going to tell Jafar as soon as possible and deal with it from there. We will do what we need to do, and in time raise our child. But if I'm not, we still need to talk about...everything.
"So, is your Uncle here on business?"
"Yeah. He has a business opportunity that can help us in the long run."
I'm not going to tell her the part about Jafar. That would ruin any chance of anything in the furture. If he wants to tell his family, he will.
"It's time to call your parents."
"I guess it is," She frowned. "But can I do it? I've decided to own up to my problems and face the repercussions."
I raised an impressed eyebrow at her. It's not everyday that Jamila tells you somethings that amazes you. She's usually the 'live in the moment' type.
"When did this sudden revelation begin?"
"Today. I was talking to Isabella and she gave me some advice."
I knew Isabella was wise at stuff, but now I know for sure. She got this stubborn girl to do what we've been trying to get her to do for years--act like an adult.
"I'll put it on speaker, but I want to do all the talking."
I nodded proudly and handed her the phone. While it was dialing, I looked in the kitchen to see Iffah and Lee smiling at us from the counter.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing," Lee waved off playfully. "We've never seen such a inspirationally deep talk between sisters. It's nice."
Iffah rolled her eyes and looked at me apologetically. "Sorry to intrude. Lee likes to be nosey."
"Shut up!" Lee laughed and turned back to the dishes.
"Hello?"
I watched as Jamila took a deep breath and answered. "Ummi, it's me Jamila."
"Jamila, where are you? We're here worried about you."
"I'm in New York with Ayah."
There was silence on the other line before we heard shuffling.
"Mills?"
I froze. I was expecting to here either Tehreem, Zahrah or Abu Jamila, but not him.
"Jafar?" Jamila asked in confusion. She eyed me warily as she continued to listen.
"Yeah," He laughed. I haven't heard that laugh in a while... "What's going on? Why are you in New York?"
"I'm not talking to you, remember? Not after what you did."
"I wasn't trying to hurt her," He said with so much guilt that it made my heart ache. "That's why I left, to make it up."
Jamila scoffed. "You have a funny way of showing it. She's hurt Jafar."
He sighed softly on the other end. "I gave up my career."
"What?!" We both shouted in unison. But Jamila being the loudest, muffled out my yell.
"What do you mean? Why would you do that?"
"Because I want to be with her," He stated. "I gave it up so we can start over."
He gave it up. He gave up the career he's wanted all of his life for me. I couldn't stop the tears that ran down my face. She's currently smiling very wildly at me right now.
"What's going on with you, Mills? Why did you run?"
I quickly grabbed a notepad and wrote down questions for her to ask him.
Ask about giving up his dream
"I don't know," Jamila waved off. "But singing was your dream since forever. Don't give it up."
"No dream is worth losing what relationship I had with my wife. Besides, we're talking about you, not me."
Tell him how I don't want him to give it up.
"Ayah wouldn't want you to do this and you know it."
"True, but I'm not giving her up. Not a chance."
I couldn't help but let my heart swell up at that.
"Now back to you."
"There are people around me right now," She declared and glared at Lee and Iffah. "So I have to talk to you about me later. Now, are you going to come here?"
He scoffed. "I'm not surprising her again. I've learned the hard way that doing that isn't a good idea. Trust me, she wouldn't want that."
"Yes she would!" Jamila exclaimed and I glared at her. I didn't write that down! Jafar laughed on the other end.
"You need to come home. Whether I have to come get you or not, you need to come home."
"I'll think about it."
"Okay. And one more thing."
Jamila narrowed her eyes at the phone suspiciously. "What?"
"Hi, Ayah."
-*-
August 28th
"So, where are we again?" Iffah asked as we exited the Cab. Lee had to do some work for the academy, so Iffah, Jamila and I decided to check out the Masjid a couple minutes away from the academy. Ever since that girl gave me the paper, I've wanted to check it out. And as we stepped out of the cab, I'm glad I did. They have stands out for bake sales, games, a kids bouncy house and picnic tables set out for lunch.
Everyone out is having fun, laughing and raising money for a good cause. Alhamdulillah!
"Ayah?" Someone called behind me, and I turned to see Uncle Yaman walk over with two men. He gave me a hug and gestured to his friends. "This is brother Nuh and brother Tariq."
"Assalamu Alaikum," I greeted with a kind smile.
"Wa Alaikum Salam," The first guy smiled. They are both around the same age as Uncle Yaman with graying beards. "You must be Yaman's neice and Jafar's wife."
"I am," I laughed. "And you are..."
"The owners of Noor Records," The other guy announced. The label that wants to sign Jafar...
"I'm happy to see new faces in the community," Brother Nuh said. "Did you get the tour yet?"
I shook my head. "No. We just got here."
"Khadijah!" He yelled over to the girl talking by the bouncy house. I recognized her as the one who gave me the flier. "Habibti, show our guest around please."
She waved at us as she approached and nodded at who I'm assuming is her father. "This is our community, I guess," She told us as we walked around the yard.
"How far are you with building the Islamic center?" I asked after a while.
She shrugged. "We're doing good, Masha Allah. We just need a couple hundred more dollars to finish. Here's the main attraction of the whole thing--the bake sales, clothing sales and such."
We stopped in front of the Masjid where everyone was entering.
"We're about to make Asr if you need to. The wudhu room is right over there."
"I can't go in," Iffah replied awkwardly and rocked on her feet.
"Neither can I," Jamila told her. "Why don't we go walk around until they're done."
Iffah nodded and walked in the opposite direction with Jamila.
After they left, I followed Khadijah to the wudhu room. "I have to go help my Abu with something before I pray, but you know where the Masjid entrance is?"
"Yeah. Shukran for helping me,"I smiled and she smiled back.
"Afwan."
I took a deep breath and got ready to make my wudhu when I had the urge to throw up. I ran to the sink and threw up the contents of my stomach.
-*-
After making salaah, I came back outside to meet Iffah and Jamila who are chatting it up with Khadijah. Ever since I threw up in the wudhu room, I haven't been feeling right.
Iffah saw me come over and frowned at me. "You don't look good, Ayah."
"I don't feel good either," I moaned. "I need to go home."
"Okay, we can go."
"Before you do leave," Khadijah stopped us and handed us a schedule. "We'll be out here for the next couple of days. Come back when you're feeling better, Insha Allah."
We gave Khadija a hug before going over to Uncle Yaman. The time to call a cab and wait will be too long for me to wait. Throwing up was a sign. I need to find out.
"It's time to find out," Is the first thing I told him. He understood me clearly and told his friends goodbye before steering me to the car. Judging by Iffah and Jamila's confused expression, I have a lot of explaining to do."
-*-
Waiting is the hardest thing I've had to experience, especially now. I have Uncle Yaman here back in the room with me while we wait for the results, but I still feel nervous. I hate being nervous.
"Hello, Mrs. Ibrahim," The doctor smiled as he entered the room. "We have your results."
Here it is, the monent of truth. Now I'll decide what I do from now on.
"What are they, Doc?" Uncle Yaman asked impatiently, and the Doctor chuckled.
"Congratulations," He smiled at me and my whole world stopped. "You're pregnant."
-*-
"You're what?!" Jamila asked in excitement as we entered the apartment. Uncle Yaman just dropped us off from the clinic and I've never been happier to be back. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy before. He couldn't even sit still as he was driving.
"Yes, Jamila. I'm pregnant."
"You are?" Lee asked as she came from the back room. "When did this happen?"
"Today was a very revealing day," Iffah laughed and started toward the back, but not before shouting, "I'm taking a shower," To a questioning Lee.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jamila asked. "We could have--"
"Jamila," I placed my hands on her shoulders to calm her down. "We will talk, but right now I need to make a very important call."
She smiled in realization. "He's going to be so happy."
After I made sure that everyone left the room, I pulled out my phone, took a deep breath and dialed the number. Seconds later he answered.
"Hello?"
"Assalamu Alaikum, Jafar."
"Wa Alaikum Salaam," He replied in surprise. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," I sniffed and wiped away a stray tear. "I just have to tell you something."
"Oh," He sighed in relief. "What is it?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too," He laughed.
"There's one more thing."
"Yeah?"
I smiled in happiness. "I'm pregnant."
-*-
If you're wondering how it is Ayah is pregnant if I haven't written any such scene to back up these allegations of she and Jafar being together, let's just pretend that I did. I don't feel comfortable writing scenes that have to do with such intimacy, and although I'm aware I could make it pg, I choose not to. So let's all use our imaginations to find a way of backing up her pregnancy. Thank you!
Random question: What's your favorite chapter?
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