Monday morning when I got up for school my mom was still in her pajamas.
"You don't have work, today?" I asked while grabbing a breakfast shake from our almost empty refrigerator.
"I called off today. I'm not feeling well." She said.
"Mom, you've been acting so weird these last couple of days. What's up with you?"
She huffed out a breath of air and crossed her arms over her chest. "Jessica. How about you mind your own damn business?"
I took a few steps back from her, shocked. She'd never been like that with me before. There was definitely something up and I was determined to find out. I left the kitchen to go finish curling my hair, dreading going to school and dreading my mother.
Trent was waiting for me inside the front doors of the school. He motioned me over after I pretended not to see him. He held out his hand for me to hold. I interlaced my hand with his and wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I felt disgusting and he hadn't even kissed me yet.
"How was your weekend?" Trent asked.
"I can pretend to be your girlfriend but I'm not going to like it. I'm not having a conversation with you."
"If we're around other people you will or you know what happens."
We walked hand in hand to my locker, not saying a word. I grabbed my books for English and he walked me to my class.
"See you at lunch, hun." He said, pressing a kiss to my lips.
Some other girls standing around stared as he walked away. My stomach churned and I ran for the bathroom as the bell rang. I splashed water over my face and wiped across my mouth with the sleeve of my sweater. I sent a text to Macy that I needed to talk to her after school. I was going to tell her. I needed someone's advice.
I avoided people as much as I could for the rest of the school day, skipping lunch and telling the coach I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't going to be at practice. Trent had found me after the lunch period and asked my whereabouts. I'd lied to him also, saying I was sick and in the nurse's office.
The day had seemed to last for ages and I followed Macy to her house in my car when it had ended. Once we were in her bedroom I explained everything, starting from the day of my physical to today after lunch period. Her face was blank and I waited for her reply anxiously.
"Jess, oh my god, why didn't you tell me sooner? I should kick Trent's ass. This is unacceptable. Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not. I feel like I'm going to have a break down any minute with all these secrets and lies. And please, please, do not say anything to Trent. He will tell about Harry and I if he finds out you know."
Macy hugged me and it felt good. It had been a while since I had a hug with my best friend. It was like I was a hundred pounds lighter letting someone else in on what I was going through.
"I won't say anything to anyone, I promise. What I will do is anything I can to help you out. There has to be a way."
"Okay. I love you, Macy. You're the best best friend ever." I said, and meant it. I was lucky to have her in my life. "Don't tell heather, please."
"My lips are sealed."
Tuesday and Wednesday at school were about the same as Monday. Trent walked me to my first class and kissed me before walking away. I still felt like puking each time. I had talked on the phone to Harry for about an hour on Tuesday and only texted on Wednesday before volleyball practice. He was busy with work and I was busy with studying and volleyball.
By Thursday after school I was exhausted and itching to see Harry again. He'd promised that we could see each other Friday and if I wanted I could stay with him for the night. It was Cara's weekend to run the office so we could stay in bed all day on Saturday if we wanted to.
I'd been watching my mom throughout the week and she hadn't gone to work at all. I didn't ask about it again though, afraid she would snap at me like the last time. I still needed some answers and I'd have to find another way to get them.
Friday when I walked into the school, Trent wasn't waiting by the door for me like usual. A small burst of happiness bubbled up inside me. Maybe he was sick today and couldn't come to school. I headed towards my locker and there he was in the middle of the hallway with a bouquet of flowers. I acted like I didn't see him and turned another way.
"Jessica! Over here, hun." He shouted.
I walked over to him, plastering on a fake smile. People were gathered around us, leaning against lockers and huddled in groups. I didn't understand what was going on.
"Jessica, will you go to homecoming with me?" He asked, handing me the artificially dyed flowers that weren't even that pretty.
"Yes," I said simply, taking the flowers from him.
The students around me sounded out "awww's" and I heard them murmuring how cute we were together. If they only knew the truth. Trent pulled me into a hug and I squeezed him stiffly. I couldn't wait for homecoming to get done and over with.
The rest of the school day was just as terrible as the other days had been. Kissing Trent made me want to throw up until I was empty and maybe even more. The only thing that was keeping me going was the promise of staying with Harry tonight.
"Yesterday, I had to go get my birth control prescription renewed and that sexy doctor was there. He's new and his name is Dr. Harry Styles. He has this accent and just seems so charming." Heather said at lunch.
I wanted to jump across the table and tell her to back off. Harry wasn't technically mine but I had dibs. We were basically like a couple without the official title.
"Yeah, I heard about him. I can't wait until the next time I need to go to the doctor's again." Sarah added.
Macy looked at me from the corner of her eyes and winked, only for the two of us to see. I was glad I'd told her about everything.
"Have you seen him yet Macy?" Heather asked.
"Nope,"
"He gave me my physical for volleyball." I said. "He seemed nice."
By the last class of the day, I could already feel how his arms would wrap around me, how his long fingers would run down my arms, how his curls would tickle my cheek when I hugged him. I could imagine his lips moving on mine, hard and urgent but soft at the same time, how it would feel to be underneath him with his body weight pressing me into the bed.
"Jessica! The bell rung. Time to go home." Macy shouted, standing right next to my desk.
I must have got lost in my day dreams about Harry, but I couldn't help it. He was a lovely person to star in my dreams.
When I got home, I found my mom crying at the kitchen table. A half empty bottle of vodka was next to her. Maybe she'd been drinking all week and that was why she seemed off.
"Mom. . ."
"Go away, Jess. I want to be alone."
I'd ordered a pizza for my mom and I, but she didn't eat any of it. Leaving the rest of it on the table, I headed up stairs to pack my bag. Harry had already texted me and asked if I wanted to stay. My mom asked if I was staying with Macy again and I'd just went along with it. It wasn't like she really cared where I went lately, anyways.
When I got to Harry's house he opened the front door before I'd even made it onto the porch. He let me inside and hugged me tight before I even had a chance to put down my bag.
"I missed you so much." He said, still hugging me. He backed up, breaking the contact. "Is something wrong?"
I didn't know how he read me so easily but sometimes it didn't work in my favor. I just wanted to forget my problems and have him as my distraction for as long as I could. He'd become much more than a silly distraction for me over the weeks. He was one of the most important people to me at the moment, no matter how unconventional it might be.
"It's nothing. I don't want to bring you down with me."
"I can handle it."
We made our way into his kitchen and he lifted me up to set on the counter next to the stove, standing between my spread legs. He pressed a soft kiss to my lips. I'd been waiting for that for what seemed like years.
"It's my mom. I think she might have lost her job, and that along with what happened with my dad is maybe too much on her. I think she went back to alcohol to deal with her problems. I'm worried."
Harry pulled me closer to him and kissed at my neck. I turned my head to the side to give him better access. It done things to me when his lips were there.
"What happened with your dad, if I may ask?"
Anger flared up within me, my arms stiffening around Harry's neck.
"You don't have to tell me, sorry."
"No, no, I'll tell you. It's just I am still so mad at him for this. Him and my mom were fighting and he took it too far this time. He punched her in the face and it broke her nose. I don't know if I can ever forgive him. He left after that and I haven't heard from him since."
"Excuse me for saying this, but he sounds like a piece of shit. Domestic violence is never okay."
"Yeah,"
"Things will get better, Jess, I promise you." He said. He brought his mouth to mine for a kiss, his hands rubbing circles across my back. "Let them work it out. It's not your problem to worry about."
"I hope you're right."
A wave of guilt washed over me. Harry was so sweet and nice to me and I wasn't even being completely honest with him. He deserved to know that someone had found out about us but I just couldn't bring myself to tell him. I was too selfish, afraid that he would ditch me because it would be too big of a risk for his career.
"Jess, I have something to show you. It's in my bedroom."
Harry helped me down from the counter and I followed him up the stairs. Had he repainted? I hoped not because his bedroom was perfect already.
"Close your eyes." He said, guiding me into the room. "Open them."
A volleyball lay on the top of his bed and I was somewhat confused. Harry urged me to pick it up and I saw that there was writing on it in black sharpie.
"Jess, will you be my girlfriend?" I read aloud. I squealed and threw the ball back onto the bed. "Really? Is this for real? The answer is yes!"
Harry pulled me into his arms, laughing, and I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist. His mouth came down on mine and I could feel him smiling against my lips. He carried me to his bed and lowered me down onto it. He climbed on top of me, his body pushing me into the bed. My hands were all over his body as he kissed down my neck.
"You're my girl now." Harry said against my mouth.
"And I'm happy to be,"
We rolled around on his bed, kissing, touching, and teasing. We couldn't keep our hands or mouths off of each other. Harry flipped us and I was now on top of him. My hands slipped under his T-shirt, palms gliding over lean muscles. I palmed even farther down, moving over the hard bulge in his pants.
We went on like that for what might have been hours. Time wasn't something I could keep track of when I was with Harry. It seemed crazy that I was now dating my doctor, someone who was nine years older than me. It wasn't legal or alright but that made it all the more hot. Harry was my dirty secret.
Somehow during the time we had lost both of our shirts to the floor, plus my capris. Harry was on his back with his pants undone and I was straddling him with nothing on except my bra and panties. I rubbed him through his boxers and leaned down to kiss in the same place. His breathing was hard and I slid my hand into his boxers, finishing him off.
"My turn," Harry said once he'd came down from his orgasm.
I climbed off of him and cuddled into his side. "You don't have to tonight,"
"Yes I do. It's not fair to you if I don't."
"Harry. Girl problems," I said, my face turning red.
"Blood doesn't scare me."
"It would make me uncomfortable."
"Alright, another night then," Harry said.
We cleaned up our small mess and pulled the blankets down, cuddling together underneath them. I was kind of tired from the long day and Harry's arms were my new favorite place to sleep. We kissed, a slow, deep kiss, getting into a comfortable position.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you something. I signed up to volunteer at the masquerade ball next weekend. I mean, I volunteered for the homecoming dance. The theme is masquerade ball. Coach Gibson said she still needed some chaperones so I figured I would help out. I'll get to see my girl all dolled up and dancing in a dress."
My throat went dry. This couldn't happen. I had to go with Trent to homecoming and Harry could not find out about him. This was yet another thing to stress about and I didn't know how I was going to handle it. There was only a week left and I needed to think fast.
I couldn't lose Harry so soon, not after he just officially became mine.
"Wow," I said, "that's really exciting."
We said our good nights I cuddled into his chest but I couldn't get to sleep. My new found information was too much to deal with.
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