I'd agreed go out with the volleyball team girls on Sunday. We had lunch at Panda Express and spent the rest of the day looking for dresses to wear to the homecoming dance that would take place in a few weeks. I had avoided any questions about Trent, changing the subject to one of the other girls if I became the gossip topic.
I had volleyball practice every day after school due to our first game happening Thursday. Harry had been busy at work and by the time Thursday rolled around I was itching to see him again.
"Trent is coming to the game tonight." Heather informed me.
"I think this is his way of giving you another chance." Macy added. "Don't blow it.
I was excited for our first game and even more excited for the weekend to come. Hopefully Harry and I would get a chance to see each other. I longed for his arms to be around me again, for his lips to move against mine.
"Maybe," I said back.
When game time came around we walked out into the gym. The bleachers were decently full and the crowd cheered. Trent was sat in the front row with a few of his friends. I preyed that he wouldn't ask me out or anything else problematic.
I was first up and the first game flowed easily. Some how we'd won, despite what I had thought when I found out what team we were against. We would be playing five games tonight and the best out of five would be announced the winner. In the short break between games I found Trent and he was staring right at me.
My eyes scoured the crowd as I sat on the sidelines for the first half of the second game. I gasped, covering my mouth and almost fell off the bench. I'd spotted Harry in the crowd. A few of the girls on my team gave me weird looks. What the hell was he doing here?
Harry was wearing a white T-shirt that said 'North Side High School' on the front. I tried not to stare at him and wondered if he had seen that I noticed him. Sarah Johnson tapped me on the leg, breaking me from my internal melt down.
"You're up," she said.
I couldn't concentrate on the games for the rest of the night. I felt self conscious and nervous performing my sport in front of Harry. It was like his eyes were glued to me from afar, watching my every move. I missed the ball when it had been right in my arm range, receiving glares from my team mates.
After three more terrible games, we'd ended up losing. We had won two games but the opposing team had won the other three by a long shot. Coach was going to be angry with us and I dreaded the practices that would be coming up. The crowd started to thin out, the gym quieting down bit by bit.
Trent came my way as his friends exited the gym. My nerves leveled up as he got closer.
"Better luck next time," he said, coming in close and wrapping an arm around me.
Macy widened her eyes at me behind Trent's back, moving her arms motioning me to hug him. I embraced Trent for a second or two and then stepped away.
"Thank you,"
"Listen. . ." He started.
I seen Harry dart from the bleachers and exit the gym in a hurry. I couldn't focus on what Trent was trying to say to me. My mind wondered if Harry was mad or if he had somewhere to be.
"I'm sorry Trent. I can't talk now."
I left Trent, Macy, and the rest of the volleyball team in shock as I almost ran out of the gym the way Harry had gone. I would deal with the problems I'd created by this later. I found Harry leaned against the far wall in the huge hallway outside the gym.
"Harry, what are you doing here?"
"I'll be in my car. Come find me after you get changed." He stormed towards the doors that led out to the parking lot.
I was dumbfounded at his apparent anger. Was he mad because I hugged Trent? He didn't have any claim on me, though I wouldn't mind if he did. We were basically friends with benefits.
I jogged back into the gym and into the locker room, not bothering to stop and chat with the rest of my team. I showered quickly and pulled on a T-shirt and pajama shorts that I'd brought with me. In a way I was glad my mom had been too tired to come to my game tonight. I'd driven myself.
I searched the parking lot for Harry's car and found him in the farthest space from the school. I walked there as fast as I could manage without actually breaking into a jog. My nerves spiked up the closer I got. Opening the passenger side door, I climbed into his car and found him leaned back with his arms crossed over his chest.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I was completely honest with you the other night. I thought you were honest with me also."
"I was honest with you."
"You said I was the only one you were kissing." Harry's tone was accusing and his voice hard.
"You seen me hug Trent. It doesn't mean I do what we do together with him."
"So he's not your boyfriend?"
"No, he's not." I felt the need to explain myself. "I've had a crush on him since middle school but he never seemed to notice me in the way I wanted him to. He approached me at school the day after you done my physical but I brushed his attention off because I was too excited to meet at that café with you later that day."
"Anything else?"
"I've been brushing off his moves on me ever since then and feeling terribly guilty about it. Trent is a nice guy. I like him but. . ."
"But what, Jess?"
"But I like you more. If I dated him it wouldn't be fair to keep doing what I do with you, and I guess I just don't want to give you up."
Saying that I liked Harry to his face felt like a giant weight had got lifted off my chest. It felt like I could breathe air again after being under water for too long. Self consciousness and fear still lingered inside me though. What if he told me he didn't ever want to see me again or worse?
The car was silent, neither of us saying a word. It felt like ages before he spoke up.
"I don't want to give you up either." Harry said.
My heart flip flopped in my chest at his little revelation. I was glad he felt the same way. He smiled at me briefly and leaned over the center console to give me a kiss.
"You should have told me about him." Harry said, leaning back into his original position.
"Would it have changed anything?"
"Maybe I would have backed off. Maybe you would have dated him. It would be easy, no where close to how complicated you and I are." Harry said. "But it's too late now, I'm in too deep. There's no backing down now."
Did this mean that he was really starting to get some feelings for me? I smiled at first but only for a second or two. No matter what we felt for each other, it wouldn't change our situation. He would still be nine years older than me and I would still be his underage patient. It would still be 'wrong and illegal' for us to be together.
"I don't want easy."
"How about this? I have a few new rules for us: No seeing anyone else sexually or romantically and no more secrets or lies."
"Okay," I agreed.
It was almost like we were dating but without the official title. I felt content, giddy, and rebellious. I sort of had a sexy and sweet doctor all for myself.
"I have a secret." I said.
Harry froze and turned toward me.
"It's just I'm scared." My face heated up, turning red for sure. "I want to, you know, have sex with you because that's what you wanted from me to begin with but I'm scared. I won't really know what I'm doing and I don't want to make a fool of myself."
Harry's body loosened up, his back losing its tension before he replied. "I want that too and you won't make a fool of yourself. No one knows what they're doing their first time and I. . . I can show you what to do." He winked and then added, "Practice makes perfect."
I was still embarrassed and self conscious about the whole thing but after Harry's little speech I felt a little better about it. I was more than ready to have sex with him physically but I wasn't quite sure where I was with it emotionally. Maybe I was over thinking the whole thing. Maybe I should just have sex with him and get it over with. Was it really that big of a deal?
I climbed over the center console and onto Harry's lap. I'd been waiting all week to see him and couldn't resist now that he was so close. It was dark and his windows were tinted. It was risky to do this in the school parking lot where anyone leaving the game could see us but I couldn't stop myself. It made it even hotter.
Harry wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close and sucking kisses onto my neck. I tilted my face to his, finding his lips with mine. I let out a sigh as we began to kiss; his tongue pushing apart my lips, his hands rubbing down my back, my hands tangling into his hair, the sounds of our heavy breathing, the feel of his body against mine. It was all overwhelming and felt like I hadn't kissed him in forever. I couldn't get enough.
"Harry," I said against his mouth.
"Jess,"
Harry leaned the seat back, making both of us fall backwards. I was on top of him with my legs still positioned on either side of his hips. He found my mouth with his in the dark of his car and kissed me hard. I could live a content life by just staying where I was for eternity. His hands trailed down by back and cupped my ass.
"See what you do to me?" He rasped at the edge of my ear, pushing my hips down against his.
"Mmm," I accidentally let out, feeling the hard length in his pants press between my legs. This some how made me feel so dirty but I loved it anyways.
"Set up," Harry said.
I was confused but did as he said. He reached down, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. I took a few deep breaths and watched as his hand slid over the bulge in his exposed black boxers.
"Your turn,"
With shaking hands, I pulled his shirt up and rubbed from his chest down to his hip bones. My right hand ghosted over his bulge and I bit my lip, breathing hard. I rubbed over his bulge again and stroked the length through the material of his boxers. Harry's eyes were locked on me, no sign of judgement or humor. With a small burst of confidence, I pulled him from his boxers and stroked up and down his bare skin.
"Can I?" I asked.
"I'm yours to explore."
My eyes took in his considerable size, the light dusting of brown hair just below his hips, his V lines, and his smooth skin. I jerked him up and down, squeezing at the base and rubbing over his tip with my thumb. I watched as he bit down on his bottom lip and I stroked him faster. Soon, deep moans were falling from his lips left and right. It turned me on just the same, how I had this power over him.
"You're doing so good, Jess. Keep going."
I stroked him and teased at his tip repeatedly until his hips bucked upwards into my grasp. I watched as he fought to keep control of his breathing. He climaxed with one last flick of my wrist, his come spilling over my hand and onto his stomach.
"Oh, my gosh," I breathed out. I'd never made a man come before.
Once Harry caught his breath, he cleaned up our mess with some napkins from his glove box and redone his pants. I leaned back down and rested on his chest. His hands came up to rub down my back and I didn't want to move.
I had to admit, Harry's arms were one of my favorite places to be.
Harry and I both rose up at the sound of a hard knock against the driver's side window and then heavy foot steps that we're going in the opposite direction.
"Fuck,"
(((Omg thanks soooo much for all the reads and votes!! Who do you think knocked on the window?? please vote and comment if you like this so far)))