Another pretty dark scene. Sorry guys. /.\ <3
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That Friday when they met, Taehyung had informed Jungkook that he had a particularly heavy amount of things to do that day. Before Jungkook could insist that he get them done, and meet him on Monday instead, Taehyung proposed an idea.
"Would you mind maybe coming to my place while I work on it? It might help me to have someone else there," he requested apologetically. It took Jungkook a minute to decide, a little unsure, but eventually he nodded, and they left.
They made their way to his apartment, traveling down roads that Jungkook wasn't quite familiar with. Eventually, Taehyung stopped in front of a certain building, remarking, "This is it."
Jungkook followed Taehyung up to a particular door, and he didn't rush as he unlocked it. When they stepped inside, Jungkook suddenly had a small smile on his face. Everything about this place screamed Taehyung, from the quirky choice of decoration, to the warm, cozy feel of it.
"Mi casa es tu casa," Taehyung chirped warmly, gesturing around the place with a grin plastered on his face. After he was finished pulling his best Vanna White, he flopped down on the gray, fluffy couch, lifting and then dropping a thick stack of papers onto his stomach.
"Whoa. You're grading all those?" Jungkook asked, stunned. Taehyung nodded, a look of disgust on his face. "I won't do them all tonight, but yeah. I teach fifty-some kids, and they all had these packets," he explained bitterly. Jungkook gave him a sympathetic look, joining him on the couch. His companion began to read through the first packet in the stack, and he took the quiet as an opportunity to study and appreciate his surroundings some more.
There were scented candles in more places than he really needed, and a sign on his kitchen counter that read, "If you are reading this, then you are blissfully unaware of what is creeping up behind you." He saw picture frames placed everywhere, many taken with two particular people that Jungkook assumed were his parents. There was one picture in particular sitting a little ways away on a small, white shelf that perked his interest.
It was a picture of a boy, with dark, shaggy hair and a long face and nose, smiling widely so his cheeks were emphasized and you could see his extremely straight, white teeth.
"Hey, Taehyung. Who's that?" he queried curiously, pointing across the room to the picture. The man in question looked up in the direction Jungkook was directing him towards.
Jungkook did not miss the pain that glazed over the elder's eyes when they found the picture he was talking about, and he lowered his arm. "Him?" Taehyung asked with an uncharacteristic solemness, copying Jungkook's point a bit further out into the air so it was certain which one he was talking about.
Jungkook could tell that he was walking on the edge of sensitive ground, and he chose to walk another direction. "No, him," he lied, pointing to a nearby photo of a young, happy, brown haired boy with prominent, vibrant lips that looked very familiar to him.
The darkness seemed to leave Taehyung's eyes. "That's a picture of my older brother when he was little. His name is Seokjin," he told him. Jungkook nodded, searching his mind for where he'd seen that face before.
Taehyung went back to his papers, and Jungkook was left to wonder who that smiling boy was. If it really did hurt Taehyung to think about him, he didn't want to ask. He continued to scan over little details like the fluffy, red pajama pants that had been tossed onto the floor, and the rubber band bound bag of barbecue chips that sat on the kitchen counter. There was a pile of books on the coffee table, and more remotes than Jungkook had ever seen in one place in his life.
After a while of the younger gazing around at the intriguing little place, he was taken out of his thoughts by Taehyung's quiet voice. "Hey, Jungkook?" he all but whispered. He turned his head to lock eyes with the other, waiting for a suggestion or request. "This...might sound weird," he mumbled, an unusual embarrassment in his voice and face.
Hesitant, but determined not to sound so, Jungkook responded, "What is it?" There was a pause before Taehyung worked up the courage to really ask. "Can you...sing for me?" Jungkook just stared at him for a second or two. Where did that come from?
"Sing?" Jungkook repeated, uncertainty grazing his expression. Taehyung squirmed uncomfortably. "I...yeah," he muttered bashfully, looking down into his lap. He thought about it for a moment. He hadn't truly tried to sing in a long time, let alone sing for someone in particular.
But he didn't want to make this more awkward than it already was. "Sure," he responded finally, and anticipation started to raise up in Taehyung. Jungkook pondered his song choice. What might Taehyung like? He didn't want to sing something upbeat, as the request seemed to be for a song to calm him.
After a moment or two, a certain song came to mind, and he sat up a little. It was perfect. Nerves starting to swim wildly in his stomach as his cheeks dusted with pink, he cleared his throat, shut his eyes, and then took a deep breath before he began.
I see trees of green,
red roses too.
I see them bloom,
for me and you.
And I think to myself,
what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue,
And clouds of white.
The bright blessed day,
The dark sacred night.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.
The colors of the rainbow,
So pretty in the sky.
Are also on the faces,
Of people going by,
I see friends shaking hands.
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying,
"I love you".
I hear babies cry,
I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more,
Than I'll ever know.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.
He slowly opened his eyes again, only to see tears filling Taehyung's own as the younger boy shook slightly with lingering nerves. The older boy wiped the tears quickly with the back of his slender hands, sniffling. "Sorry," he chuckled, looking a little embarrassed. "That was amazing."
Jungkook's eyes widened, cheeks flushing even more profusely than before. "Thank you," he replied shyly.
It wasn't, really. My voice was shaky.
His gaze trailed to the window, and he traced the smudges and light scratches with his eyes. Taehyung was recovering now. "Thank you for that," he said, gratitude filling his voice.
"You're welcome," he replied, biting his lip afterwards because his voice still was not steady.
It was slowly occurring to him how much his heartbeat really was starting to pick up, and suddenly his head started to spin on top of that.
Oh.
Oh no.
No, no, no. Not this. Not here.
His breathing was becoming short, and his heart was pounding against his chest. Waves of fear pulsed through him. He didn't know why, or what to do, but the panicked tears he knew so well were quickly filling his eyes.
He crumpled back into the couch, curling up into himself and trying to hide, to pretend that he was okay, but anyone looking could see that he wasn't okay at all.
And Taehyung was looking.
His eyes widened. Was this really happening? Could life really be so cruel to him? His own heartbeat had started to escalate, but then he reminded himself of the most important thing for him to do right now.
Stay calm.
He sat up, approaching Jungkook slowly, cautiously, wanting anything but to frighten him even more. Gently, he grasped the younger's hand, and began to rub soothing circles into it. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here," he murmured, remembering how it always helped to speak in short sentences.
The younger had already been sobbing quietly by now, and was shaking with the intensity of it. "I've got you. You're doing great. Everything's okay."
The circles he was massaging into Jungkook's palm were light, soft, steady. "You'll get through this. I'm proud of you." The ball that Jungkook was curled into tightened, and he felt like the world was spinning around him.
"You're okay. It's okay."
Jungkook was gradually becoming aware of Taehyung, consoling him, not leaving his side. His hands were so warm, and words were so slow, soothing, tender. After a few minutes that blurred together like watercolors, his breathing was finally starting to even out.
"It's okay."
Jungkook very slowly, clumsily, sat up a bit, the look in his eyes so innocent and feeble. Shaky exhales were leaving his lips, the effects of the sobs, and his gaze was involuntarily locked with Taehyung's.
Taehyung smiled at him, trying to relieve some of the aching, and used his thumb to calmly wipe a tear away. He knew not to show any signs of imposition. He knew to show only that he cared.
Jungkook saw only understanding in his eyes, and yet, for some reason, it just hurt his heart even more.
"I'm sorry," he choked out, crumbling forward weakly onto Taehyung, who caught him in a comforting hug. He wept into the shoulder of the elder's black sweatshirt.
"You don't need to apologize. It's not your fault," he assured him, rubbing his back comfortingly.
And Jungkook held him back. Held him like if he let go, he'd fall into endless nothingness. He'd been so helpless, he'd burdened Taehyung. He wished he could just take it all back. He wished he was stronger.
They stayed like that for ages. Taehyung continued to run his hands up and down his back, and eventually Jungkook was feeling the pain start to fade away. Those strangling feelings of regret and self-loathing had started to drift off, and his mind was mostly filled with the knowledge that he'd had many panic attacks in his life, but this time, someone was there for him. Someone who cared.
Finally, after Taehyung felt Jungkook's breathing was completely steady, he backed away to look him in the face. "Do you want some water? Or do you just want to stay?" He held back the urge to wince; he'd said those words before, many times, and using them once again felt like clawing at old wounds.
"I want to stay," Jungkook told him, moving back into the hug, and Taehyung accepted him into his arms again, returning to the familiar rubbing motion on his back. Jungkook exhaled slowly in a huge wave of relief. What Taehyung had told him was true.
He was there for him. Everything was okay.
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If it helps you can yell at me in the comments.
Thank you guys so much for 2k omg. I'm so happy :') I'd like to give a special little shoutout to nerdyjimin because as I've been writing this story she's been super sweet and supportive of me. Thank you so much, dear ~
Also, just a side note, please pray for Paris and honestly just everyone. What's going on is really awful and I feel terrible about how little I can do, but please everyone stay strong, and stay safe. I love you <3
Once again, thank you guys :) See you soon!! c: