Happy Mother's Day!
Chapter Two
I woke up to the sound of something frying in a pan and based on the smell I had to go with bacon. Normally I would smile and soak in the smell, but my heart literally hurt. I didn’t realize how much I missed Michael until I saw him again even though it was to threaten me. However, like all the times before, he was never there for long until he was gone again. I covered my face and tried not to cry, knowing if I did Gregori would come running. The moment he saw tears, he would piece together what happened. I never cried over the nightmares anymore.
So I got myself together and sat up, looking for something to wear. I found my second set of clothes I usually kept in a small bag in my car folded up in a decorative chair by the bed. He must’ve left at some point which had me worried.
From what I could…remember, the bathroom was downstairs so the possibility of me trying to get a glimpse of what I looked like wasn’t going to happen. I put on my spare set of clothes, finger combed my hair, and made my way down the completely white stairs. The kitchen was located directly across from the bottom and as soon as he heard me coming he turned to look. Gregori was standing there in jeans and a black polo, his feet completely bare, and looking none the worse for wear.
He smiled. “Morning.”
He put the spatula down and rubbed his hands on the kitchen towel. I didn’t really know how to field a situation like this so I just stood there for the moment feeling very awkward.
What was I supposed to say? What did it all mean?
Thankfully, he didn’t miss a thing and came to me instead of the other way around. My anxiety over the whole thing was drowned out temporarily as he cupped my cheek while kissing me on the forehead. My arms were crossed over my chest but dropped so I could just for a moment enjoy this.
Because it could never happen again.
I placed my hands gently on his sides and closed my eyes, breathing him in. My fingers curled in his shirt and for some reason they gripped tightly at the fabric. What in the hell was going on with me?
“Did you sleep ok?”
And then it was over, the anxiety coming back full force.
“How long was I asleep?”
“The first time or the second?”
I blushed and pulled back just a smidgen, my hands dropping to my sides. He noticed he said something wrong and quickly said something else.
“A few hours. It’s only eight.”
I wasn’t due in until noon when I would be receiving my first official partner and my department assignment. It was supposed to be easy stuff and I prayed they would pair me with someone who could keep up.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at the office?”
He took one of my hands and instead of getting just a little shock, I received a continuous zap. I still had no clue what that was supposed to mean and if I believed what he said the night before, he didn’t know what it meant either.
“I told them you drank way too much last night and you crashed here. I also told them you’d be back in time for the…partner thing.”
I nodded. “So you didn’t…” I sighed. “We should probably…talk about last night, about what happened.”
“You’re right but first you should eat something.”
“I’m a little nauseous so eating is out of the question at the moment.”
“You still need to try.” He tugged on my hand and I let him pull me over to the table. “Start with toast and then we’ll talk if you’re still not feeling hungry.”
We ate in silence, the only noise in the room came from the mp3 player by the TV. When I was finished picking at my piece of toast, I curled up, pulling my knees to my chest.
“So…”
He put his fork down and looked at me, obviously not liking what he saw.
“So…”
The lack of words had to mean something. I didn’t know how many girls he brought home, slept with, cooked breakfast for, whatever and then…
“Did you lie last night and this morning?”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Did you just…tell me what you thought I wanted to hear? Was it…”
He waved a hand, cutting off my words. “I didn’t lie. Not about that.”
“How long?” His frown got deeper. “How long have you noticed it and not said anything?”
“Which part?”
“Any of it. I’m sort of…lost as to how we’re supposed to…proceed.”
Inexperienced, that’s what I was. I wasn’t afraid to admit it, I wasn’t a tramp. I didn’t sleep around and I never planned on doing it, ever. It was a part of Guild life I wasn’t going to participate in even though I’d caved on the drinking aspect.
He picked up his knife and started twirling it.
“How long I’ve felt it really doesn’t matter. What the issue, or at least I’m assuming, is you don’t know where to go from here.”
“That’s what I said.”
“Well, where do you want to go from here?”
I raised my eyebrows. “I don’t know. You’re…you’re my…mentor. What we did last night and this morning has to be…against the rules.” I sighed. “And the only time we do anything like that again.”
He stopped twirling the knife to gauge if I was being serious or not. When he got the hint that I was, he got up from his chair and came around the table. He didn’t say anything as he cupped my cheek and kissed me. That deep down tickle from the night before came roaring back to life and it took everything inside to keep myself still. I really just wanted to tackle him to the floor and do what we did last night again and so much more. Instead I just sat there, kissing him back. When he pulled back, ending the kiss but keeping our lips barely touching, we were both breathing hard.
“I can’t deny that, Geo. I’m going to feel it every time I look at you. Even sitting across the table from you this morning felt like needles were being driven under my skin because I wasn’t touching you in some way.”
I shrank back. What Michael said sneaked into my brain.
You’re mine, Georgiana. Mine. You’ll never be his or the boy’s or anyone else’s. If I have to prove that then I will.
“It wouldn’t be a good idea. We’d have to keep it a secret and not…”
“Then we’ll keep it a secret until you think it’s the right time.” He rubbed circles into my skin.
“We’ll need rules.”
“Then we’ll make them.”
“Fine.” I swallowed, knowing what I was about to say may not be the right thing at the moment but knowing it needed to be said nonetheless. “Rule number one: No feelings.”
Something flashed in his eyes but he nodded. “Alright, if that’s how you want it.”
That was a little too cool and calculated.
“I just…”
I needed to move away from him. If I didn’t, I would never be able to say what I wanted.
“I know this is going to sound…awful and afterwards you may rethink this completely but…” I looked at him, at the point I usually looked when talking to him. “I can’t have feelings involved, ever. Something might happen that…you wouldn’t understand and I don’t want you to get hurt because of it.”
“Geo, what are you talking about?”
“Things with me are…there’s a lot more going on than what they appear, Gregori. You’re just going to have to trust me when I say you don’t want to get emotionally invested in me. You’ll just end up regretting it later.”
“So what you’re telling me is…you want a casual relationship with no ties, no titles, and no feelings? Just sex.”
“It sounds horrible when you say it like that but yes. This can’t be more than it is right now.”
“I don’t understand why.”
“One day you will, one day I’ll be able explain it all to you. But I just can’t right now.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not the right time. There’s never really a good time for what I have to say.”
“Cryptic as ever, I see. You don’t celebrate Christmas and you won’t tell me why. You give me vague explanations as to what happened between you and the Vampires even though I had to console you after you woke up from nightmares. What exactly can you tell me, Geo?”
I looked him in the eyes, hoping he’d understand. But instead of finding understanding, I found anger. He had every right to be angry, none of this made any sense and what I was asking was ridiculous.
“You can’t fall in love with me.” I said it as bluntly as I could. “You can like me, you can want me, care for me all you want, but you can never love me.”
“Don’t you think when the time comes that it’s my decision?”
I looked away and rubbed my forehead. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, for more than the obvious reasons.”
“You mean because I was your mentor? Geo, once you become a full member of the Guild, you are no longer considered an underling. We are equals now, all previous titles were thrown away when you took the Guild’s mark.”
“You may be right but it would be looked down upon if anyone found out. You know that. Everything would be called into question.”
“I don’t understand you.”
That was hard to hear. Out of everyone I now associated with, I would peg Gregori as the one who knew me the most. I looked away from him and down at my hands. I couldn’t sit there anymore, explaining but not explaining why this couldn’t happen. It was just too…unbearable.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
I walked over to the table by the door and picked up my keys.
“Geo.”
I opened the door and left, Gregori still calling out my name.