I tried my best to work on the car, Max had managed to make me smile, but the thoughts lingered.
He noticed my blank face again, I stared at nothing, zoning out.
"Phoenix..." He called, holding my shoulders and turning me to face him. I felt the tears come down my face, Max sighed, pulling me into his chest. I rested my head there, listening to my heartbeat.
"You ever have those days where you just can't stand yourself?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but the sobs came out.
"Mm" Max said, rubbing my back and resting his cheek on the top of my head.
"Before I met Ariadne.. When... When Scrotus took me in..." I took a deep shakey breath "I... I trusted him, I looked at him just like he looked at me, like a father, and I did everything he asked me too, always..."
"Shhh, that's all behind you now" he breathed.
"N-no it's not" I sobbed "Max I did horrible, horrible things, I killed so many people" Max pulled me away from his chest, looking me dead in the eye.
"You did it out of fear" I pushed off of him. Turning away and grabbing handfuls of my hair.
"NO Max!" I yelled, "I did it because he told me to, I did it because I wanted to..."
Max grabbed my wrists, looking me in my eyes again.
"You fucking listen to me and you listen good." He spoke, very calm, very stern, but soft too. "What he did to you, what he made you do does not define who you are" I looked away. "No, look at me" he cupped my face in his hands. "You. Are. Not. Your. Mistakes. Do you understand?" I sighed, closing my eyes slowly and nodding. "Good" he leaned his forehead on mine, both of our eyes closed just holding each other. He gave good advice, but he didn't realize that the same thing he said to me applied to him. "I love you" he mumbled, so quiet I barely heard it. I smiled.
"I love you too, Max"