It's Wednesday so I'm only one week and 3 days away from the talent show. It's kind of terrifying but I always liked performing. The bigger problem is that I don't have a song to perform - yet. I probably should start writing but everytime I try my thoughts drift to Karlie. Right now she's at this party of this Dylan guy. I was actually really flattered that she asked me to come with her - she tried it like a million times, the last time when she arrived at that party but I am not a party girl. And there are only the 'cool kids' and I'm definitly not one of them and they wouldn't be happy to see me there. I sigh and grab my guitar. I start playing 'You belong with me'.
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do
I can't help thinking about what Toni and her are doing right now. Kissing, snogging, fucking? It hurts.
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do
I smile when I think about 'Someone like you'.
But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me
I've changed the lyrics a bit and I like it. I'm pretty sure that these will be the finished lyrics.
I jump out of surprise when I see light in Karlie's room. Probably one of her sisters or parents is in her room. But when I look I see Karlie standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset through the open windows. It's only something like 9:30, why did she drive home so soon?
T: What happened? Y are u home that early?
K: Nothing. Everything's fine :) It was just really boring and as you reminded me - tomorrow's school so I shouldn't be out that late and definitly not drinking.
T: Respect that's really mature of you young lady! ;)
K: Ou shut up Taylor!
T: Goodnight! When I was your age I used to be tired at this time 2. You don't need to be ashamed. :P
K: Shut up Tay! I danced my ass off and my feet hurt so bad so yeah I'm tired but that has nothing to do with my age!
T: Yeah sure. Goodnight! xo
K: See ya 2morrow! xo
K: <3
I sigh. 'Konversations' with Karlie always make me happy. Even though 83% of them are pointless, I love them endlessly. With new power I start playing again.
Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?
The memories of this day come back and I smile. Just thinking about it makes me happy.
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?
Karlie's smile. Everytime she sends me a ':D' I see her smile. It's so beautiful.
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
I bite my lip.
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me.
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me
Karlie's room is dark so it looks like she's actually sleeping. It's not a bad idea though. The earlier I go to sleep the faster I see her again.
The next day is weird. I overslept but I somehow make it to school in time. Ed stands in front of the classroom checking the time nervously when I see him. "Hey Ed!", I shout. He turns around and I can see a smile of relief on his face. "Ou thank god Taylor! You would have been dead if you would have been late for the geography test." Right geography. Good job Taylor. Great idea to work on your song instead of learning for the geography test you totally forgot. I cover my face with my hands. "Oh god Ed! I totally forgot about this test! Oh man I'm gonna fail so bad fuck!" He looks at me with a horrified face. "What? You forgot a test? What's wrong with you? That's never happened in all these years!" "THAT'S NOT HELPFUL ED!", I scream. Panic. I'm having a panic attack. I start shaking and I feel dizzy and the next thing I see is white.
I stare at the white ceiling of a hospital room. "Taylor! How are you feeling?" Ed's here. "Ed? What the fuck am I doing in a hospital?" He laughs. "You had a panic attack. I didn't know what to do so I called the ambulance and I drove with you and so yeah here we are. We get a new date for the test by the way. Thank you I guess? Your Mom's here too. She's just looking for coffee. She called your Dad and he wanted to come here too but your Mom told him that your fine and that he should come after work." "Wow. This panic attack was really useful." We both laugh. In this moment my Mom enters the room. "Sweetie you're awake! How are you feeling?" "Hey Mom! I'm feeling well. I'm okay. Nothing hurts." "Well that's great honey. The doctors said that everything's okay too so yeah. You still have to stay at the hospital for 24 hours. They just want to be 100% sure that everything's okay." I nod.
The rest of the day is boring. Ed has to leave after an hour, my Dad visits me at 5 o'clock and after an hour he leaves with Mom. At 10:38 pm my phone rings. I look at the screen. It's Karlie. Oh my god she must have heard that I'm at the hospital is now worried and checking if I'm okay. That's so cute. "Hey Karlie!", I answer cheerfully. "Where the fuck are you??", I hear her screaming in the phone. Her voice is raspy and sounds kind of sick. Like she has a cold or something. "What?" "I'm standing outside your house. Throwing fucking pebbles at your window. I waited for you to come home but you never did or are you in your room ignoring me???" "What the fuck are you talking about Karlie?" "Taylor!", I hear her snivel. What's going on? "I need you Taylor! I fucking need you! You said you're my friend! Well where are u now that I need you?" "What do you mean??" "I'm sitting here in my car, crying like a fucking waterfall and I need you. So-" Another sob. "Where are you Tay?" "Okay Karlie. Drive to the parking lot of the hospital. I'm coming there. Please stop crying Karls. Everything will be okay I swear!" I hang up. What the fuck was that? Why is Karlie crying? Hearing her like that - so desperate and vulnerable and hopeless - it breaks me.
It's past 11 when I finally make it outside. It's not that easy to avoid the security. Going out at this time in nothing but a hospital outfit is something she's pretty sure the security guys and the doctors wouldn't approve. I stand there for like 5 minutes freezing my ass off when I see Karlie's car. I run towards her car and jump in. Thank god she has the heating on. I look at her shaking. She's shaking too. But not because of the cold. Her make-up is totally ruined, her skin looks even more pale than normal and she basically looks like she's dead. "Karlie what happened?", I nearly scream. Seeing her like that is terrifying. She starts crying. Not like a little or normal crying, no it's like every teardrop is a waterfall. I awkwardly try to hug her but it doesn't really work because we're both in a car and stuff but I try to comfort her. I rub circles on her back and when she leans against my chest I start to stroke her hair and kiss her forehead. After that she calms a bit and she finally opens her mouth. At first it is only a sob that comes out but then she starts saying real words.
"Toni cheated on me."