Caira
"You better take your ass home, you know your daddy going to beat the black off you if he catch you walking in the house at this time of the night ." Jermaine said, as we laid in his bed together
"I told you, that dude ain't my dad ."
"Step daddy, whatever . Either way, you know he going to start some shit when you walk through the door ."
"Let him, I don't care . I'm grown he need to realize I'm not his responsibility . I can take care of myself, I've been doing it with and without him being around . I don't get why my mother sits back and lets him discipline me, when I try to talk to her about it she'll back him up . Like you suppose to be on my side, I don't be doing anything when I'm out to begin with . I'm always either with you or at a house party, he need to watch his son instead of watching me . I never seen him talk to Hakeem the way he talks to me, I'm always the one that's being controlled ."
"Hakeem's a boy, you a female . You may not be his blood daughter, but he going to keep that gun cocked like you are his own daughter . You being nineteen don't mean shit to your moms or your pops, you being careful and not being taken advantage of is what they care about . You just seeing it differently ."
"Now who side are you on ?" I said bearing my attitude
"You know I'm always on your side, I'm telling you how he feels about you though . You constantly busting his balls, I don't see a problem with him ."
"Nothing is wrong with him but it's aggravating how it feels like neither of them trust me and I have to answer to him, I want to be able to ask my mom something without hearing his opinion that's all . I'm not even going to go home tonight, I want to see what they'll really do and say when I don't show up . If you don't hear from me, I want you to speak at my funeral ." I said jokingly
Jermaine closed his eyes laying his head on my chest, his arm found a comfortable position wrapped under my body .
"You right where you need to be anyway, he going to have to go through me before he get to you ."
"Excuse me, why are you getting comfortable when you know you still need to turn the light off ?"
He got off of me "Handle that for me ."
I scoffed as I got from the bed to turn the light off, my phone dropped under the bed when I went to turn off the light . As I reached under the bed for it, my hand touched something slimy and wet . I picked it and up and went to turn on the light to see what it was, I screamed a bit throwing it back on the floor when I seen it was used condom .
"Eww what the fuck Jermaine, don't you throw this shit away after you finish fucking around ?"
He laughed "My bad, I forgot it was under there . Throw it away for me ." he said obviously joking as he sat up from his bed cause he know I wasn;t going to toch it again
"You definitely lost your damn mind ."
He smiled as his laughter began to fade "Chill, I'll get it ."
"That's disgusting, I need to wash my hands ."
"You walk out this room then you going to have to leave, you going to wake up my moms if you go out there . You better take some hand sanitizer if you trying to stay over ."
I sanitized my hands and we got back into bed with each other, Jermaine and I have no problem being together like this . Him and I are really close friends, we don't see a relationship with each other cause we don't want to ruin the friendship we have . It's tempting to knock what we have up a notch but we both know that if either one of us was to start getting in our feelings, it would cause problems . Jermaine and I known each other for as long as I can remember, we talked about the chances of us happening and we don't like the outcome of it . Never once have we kissed or anything sexual, we're just really touchy with each other and I don't even like that half the time .
"Jermaine it's hot as hell in here, you need to invest in a fan or air condition ."
"Take your pants of and changed in t-shit then you wouldn't be complaining ."
I sighed as I got up from his bed, it was dark in the room so I was able to change out of my shirt, pants, and bra then into one of his t-shirts . When I got back into his bed I had my back facing him, before I knew it Jermaine rolled over pulling me closer into him as he used his arm like a blanket tightly wrapped around me . I began to fit like a puzzle piece in between where his body laid, if you asked me how I felt in the moment I would have said a cross between awkward and comfortable . If you would have asked him how he felt, he probably would have said he didn't care . We're used to this type of actions with each other, I think it can become too much sometimes . Clearly after finding the used condom underneath his bed we do our own thing, with the mind set of knowing we feel a little bit for each other . It doesn't bother one another that we talk to other people and he maybe sleeping around with other females, if the status between us was something more I'd probably cut his throat if we were messing around with each other and I found that damn condom under his bed .
"Jermaine . . Jermaine . . Jermaine, wake your ass up your alarm is going off . You going to be late for work ."
He jumped up out his bed and put his pants on, he stumbled a bit and fell flat on his face . I laughed while he was trying to get up, I put on my clothes too so I could leave with him . His mother left for work already by the time we were up, on the way of him dropping me off at my house we stopped at McDonalds and he bought me breakfast and my favorite Mocca Latte . I sighed as we approached my house, I know I'm most likely about to get my head bashed open .
"Imma see you tonight right ?" he asked putting his car in park
"I wouldn't count on it, but we'll see ." I said getting out the car
I took a bite of my hash brown and walked into the house, Hakeem looked at me grinning . My mother's car wasn't there so neither was she, his dad's car wasn't there so I thought he wasn't either till his ass sprung at from the back .
"Where you been ?" he asked
"Minding my own business ."
"Caira, you know you were suppose to be home last night ."
"I'm home now aren't I, why do it matter what time I come home . Damn, you always have to bitch at every single thing I do ."
"If you going to stay out all hours of the damn night, call me next time so I know where you are ."
"If I did you still would have told me to come home, I shouldn't have to report to you my every movements Gerald, you not my damn daddy . Stop clocking my mileage and worry about your own damn kid ." I said going into my room closing the door on him but he still came in
"You lucky you ain't my damn daughter cause I would have put hands on you a long ass time ago ."
"Why we still talking to each other, you not going to do it ?"
"You need to get your life . You stressing your mother out, you cause nothing but problems in the house, you doing too much with yourself ."
"I don't do shit, you fail to realize that . You always been hard on me for no reason, everytime I step out the house I'm automatically doing something wrong . Get off my damn neck, please . If anyone causing problems in this house it's you, you turned my own mother against me . She can speak for her damn self cause you always talk for her when it comes to me, you want to hit me go head . I fucking dare you too ."
This nigga actually hit me, he slapped me across the face . It wasn't an ordinary slap either, like I said he served in the army so he got a body on him that shit felt like a brick . That's the first time he ever disciplined me like that, it will be his last too "I don't know if you talk to your mama like that but you damn sure won't fucking talk to me like that, you going to stay in this house and stop acting like a hoe ."
"What's going on ?" Hakeem said coming into the back
I held my cheek as they both looked at me, I grabbed my clothes, tooth brush and everything else I needed to take on my own . If I'm a problem like he says I am then I won't come back, I'm not going to let a grown ass man think he can get away with putting his hands on me . When I left out the house he tried to stop me, even Hakeem ran after me .
"He hit you ?" he questioned obviously knowing the answer
"Go back home ."
"Where you going ?"
"I'll find somewhere ."
"I don't want you to leave, this shit is petty why don't you both just talk it out ?"
"What do you think just happened ? I'm sorry but I can't stand your pops, don't you see how he treats you and me differently ? I'm not taking that shit anymore, I'm old enough to be on my own now I'll find somewhere to go ."
"At least let me know where to find you ."
"Hakeem, go home . You can't do nothing for me ."
"What if you don't have anywhere to go ?"
"Hakeem, what did I just say ?"
"Take this then ." he said giving me his money
"I don't need this, I have my own ."
"You don't, cause I took this from you ." he smirked
I smiled pushing him as he walked along side of me "Stupid ass, give me my money . Listen, just in case I don't have anywhere to lay my head tonight leave my window unlocked ."
"You know sneaking in ain't going to work ."
"Just do it, and just in case he doesn't tell my mom what he did I don't want you to tell her either ."
It wouldn't make any use telling her anyway, she'll just take his side like usual . I don't have a say anymore, I don't even know how I'm causing her stress but it's whatever . I don't care, I know that she loves him . I know maybe I shouldn't have cursed at him the way I did, but I'm not going to let him continue to act like he owns me . That military shit he does doesn't work on me . I know the outcome of how this situation is going to be, so I'm leaving and I don't when I'm coming back . Maybe tonight, tomorrow, or in a couple of weeks from now . Till I get the respect I deserve, I don't care if I ever come back .