Song Recommendation: Sorry by Juniel & Eyes Nose Lips AKMU version
[Korean Translations]
Aegyo (애교): To act cute
Ajhussi (아저씨): Old man
Ajhumma (아줌마): Old woman
Ani (아니): No
Annyeong (안녕): Hello/Goodbye
Arasseo (알았어): Alright
Chukhahae (축하해): Congratulations
Daebak (대박): Awesome
Dongsaeng (동생): Younger Sibling/ Friend
Eomma (엄마): Mother
Hajima (하지마): Stop
Hyung (형): Older brother for males/Friend
Hwaiting (화이팅): Goodluck/ You can do it!
Gomawo (고마워): Thank you
Gwenchana (괜찮아): Are you okay?
Jalja (잘자): Goodnight
Jalmeokesseubnida (잘 먹겠습니다): Thanks for the food
Jebal (제발): Please
Jinjja/Jeongmal (진짜/ 정말): Really
Maknae (막내): Youngest child/friend out of the group
Mianhe (미안해): I'm sorry
Micheosseo (미쳤어): Are you crazy?
Ne (네): Yes
Noona (누나): Older sister for males /Friend
Omo (어머): Oh my
Ottoke (어떡해): What should I do?
Oppa (오빠): Older brother for females/Boyfriend
Saengil Chukhahae (생일축하해): Happy Birthday
Pabo (바보): Stupid
Wae (왜): Why?
Yeppeoda (예쁘다): Pretty
Chapter 42: Sorry
Friday, February 28 2014
Hee Yeon's POV
The day before they go to Thailand we've decided to see each other, since they'll be staying there for five days. It will sure be lonely without him especially I haven't been with him these past few days. This time it will be different because a phone call wouldn't be allowed.
What bothers me more is that the rumors about us aren't easing at all. In fact it is getting far more worse. Now, I am doubting myself if I can last for five days without him because he is the only one who strengthens me.
Everyone went inside the company's practice room after talking to me briefly. Now all that is left at the corridor is me and Jimin. He is somehow giving me ideas on what to do these upcoming days but I'm not paying attention that much. I am just looking at his back while he is arranging something on his bag, thinking how much I would miss him once he leave.
"Did you get it, Yeonie? ..Yeonie?"
I slowly hugged him from the back without answering. I don't care anymore if anyone sees us because all I wanted to do now is hold him tight before he goes. I can feel that he is somehow surprised of what I just did. To be honest, I am too.
After that, he quickly faced me, pulled me against him and surround me with a warm embrace. It was so tight that I can barely breathe but despite of that it is the only thing that will keep me from living for the following days.
"Are you going to be alright?" he asked and I nodded slowly holding my tears back, trying not to be weak.
The touch of his skin, the warmth of his body, the tightness of his embrace, his intoxicated smell and everything that has to do with him. I will miss it. This few comforting minutes of my life makes me want to wish it will never end but it will.
"I'll come back. Wait for me," he utters with soft words and then finally released me.
•••
A few days after they have left new rumors have risen that made the media and the fans more aggressive. News about how I've played Seokjin and Jimin and will continue to play with the other members' feelings came out.
Also, the news about me being the main reason why Jimin ended up in the hospital last time made the fans want to tear me apart.
I didn't care at all at first when they are all saying bad things about me but then they all start to invade my social network accounts. It must have leaked somehow. They all start to send me these harsh messages and rude comments.
They vandalize on things outside the company building as well just to express their hate towards me. And what is much worse is that death threats are starting to come out.
Even though Mr. Bang Shi Hyuk promised to look after me while they're gone I can't let myself be a burden to him. This problem is my problem and I can't drag other people into it. I also do not tell Jimin about any of these because I don't want him to worry.
I am confident that I can handle this by myself without having to involve others in it.
•••
One afternoon, an anonymous message was sent to me coming from a girl which is asking me to meet up in a small cafe. She promised she won't do me any harm and just try to meet up with her. I wasn't going to go but she told me she was the one who started this all and that she wants to tell me something important. And because I am curious about who she is, I agreed.
Once I arrived at the said coffee place, I searched for her quickly. She told me she will be the one wearing a cream colored sweater and I immediately saw someone wearing one.
As I come near, I was shocked to find out who she was.
"Jion?" a wrinkle formed on my brows as I look at her, disbelief.
"Annyeong, Hee Yeon. Please take a sit," she gestures me to sit and I did.
I don't want to be the one who start a scene so I just stayed calm as possible and try to analyze things first.
"What do you want? Latte? Frappe? Americano? C'mon it's my treat," she continually asks but I refused.
"I am not here do drink and chat. Just tell me, are you the one who started all those rumors?" I asked and she answered with a big grin while drinking up is cup. "Why?"
"Well, you aren't that pretty clever as you seemed, Hee Yeon," she faced me with an evil smirk. "You see there are a lot of things you don't know about me yet. And one of those things is that I am very dangerous."
"What do you mean?" I replied, completely puzzled by it.
I always thought it was the high school girl who started that rumors but I guess I was wrong. It was merely impossible for a high school girl to do that but I never considered Jion was the one who did it because she works inside the company.
Wait.. She works inside the company. That explains why my personal informations are leaking. Especially the one fact that I work at Big Hit.
"Honestly, I hated you from the start. Mr. Bang Shi Hyuk always spoke of you very highly as if no one can exceed pass you. And you think you're so great as well because you have those idiots crawling over you which is very funny because you don't have the slightest idea that they're very dangerous to be with. The fans and the media won't easily back down, you know."
"Why are you doing all of these? What do you want?" I asked in a slightly high-toned voice, trying to hold myself back a little because I still don't want to cause a scene.
"I'm glad you asked that. I just want you to do a few things for me and then I can cease the media from releasing those rumors and let you go on with your happy life," she utters.
"What is it? And how will I be assured that you're not lying? Tell me, how can you possibly do that?" I start to question her.
"Simple," she placed a card in front of me which I guess was an identification card for a press. When I looked closer, it was the writer I used to work for, Ms. Go.
"Remember her? She was the one you basically got fired and replaced. She works in the media now doing worthless things but because of your big bomb she is getting all the glory she wants. What you do not know is that she's my aunt and you basically destroyed her life."
I was left speechless for a minute because I am getting overwhelmed by the things she was saying. How didn't I knew she was her aunt? And got fired and replaced? What is she talking about? I have nothing to do with that.
"So, here's my proposal. I want you to back out from being the co-producer of their next music video or just quit, recommend me to Mr. Bang Shi Hyuk and break up with Jimin," she takes another sip on her coffee.
"Wait, Jimin? What has Jimin got to do with this? I thought you're only after me?" I looked at her confused.
"Oh, I haven't introduce you to my sister yet," she waves her hand and a girl came walking towards our table.
It was the high school girl that threatened me the other day. Now, it's getting more clear.
"You see she's a big fan of the guys and she really loves Jimin. Apparently, she doesn't want to see a lowlife like you dating him."
"What if I disagreed?" I strongly answered.
"Simple. I will turn all the news against him. I've realized that if he isn't involve you won't do anything that I ask you to do. If you really love him you won't get him involved, right?" she utters which made me somehow lose it.
"If you touch one strand on Jimin's hair I will rip you both to pieces!" I abruptly stood up. "You are never going to make me do those stupid things. I can handle my way out of this. And you!" I pointed at her sister. "You call yourself a fan? You love him? Bullshit! You won't allow this to happen if you truly love him!"
After that sudden burst, they both just started to laugh, mockingly.
"You don't understand it, do you? We all have the power here and you can't do anything about it. Plus, you don't want to cause that much scene because there are CCTVs here in the cafe. How will you think they'll interpret that we're just sitting here and you're aggressively shouting and standing there?" said Jion.
I wander my eyes around and there are really cameras around every corner. Not only that, the people inside the cafe were suddenly looking our way.
"Do you know how difficult it is to get those disgusting pictures? I have to follow you around from Chungju to Busan," the high school girl scoffs.
"It's funny because I am willing to sacrifice everything just to have you get off of Jimin's back. How about you? Are you willing to?" she adds.
"I will give you until they come back to think about my proposal and to help you decide I will give you an example tonight. If you ever have a thought of telling this to anyone just think of the worse scenario that will happen to Jimin. It's time for you to choose Hee Yeon and may I remind you please do choose wisely."
And then I finally step out of the cafe and left them with evil smirks plastered on their faces. I really want to press my fist against their faces but it wouldn't help the situation at all. It would probably just make it worse.
I didn't get them at all about what they meant but once night come a certain topic instantly went viral on the internet and it wasn't about me. It was about Jimin.
It said on the article that Jimin purposely stole me and cheated on Seokjin to get back at him for something. And then the group is recently having a quarrel that may lead to disbandment. Now all of South Korea is blaming Jimin for everything.
I suddenly felt that I am the one to blame and that everything is happening because of me. But I can't possibly leave Jimin just because of this. I just can't leave him, period. He has become everything to me now and I can't let a stupid reason to take him from me.
As days goes by, I get much stressed every second. The news are worsening and I can't do anything about it. They keep blaming Jimin and starts to petition for him to leave the group.
I can't eat and I can't sleep because I am worrying about how he is doing. He is probably not handling things very well and is really hurting but pretending to be alright. It was okay when they are all hating on me because I can handle it. What I can't handle was to see them do that to Jimin. I don't want to see him hurt again because of me.
How I wish this time it was me instead of him. Thinking about how I can't do anything about this is making me feel so useless again. Now that I think of it they will be back tomorrow and I have to make a choice soon.
What is it that can make everything better?
What is it that can make me actually protect him?
What is it that is right?
•••
Thursday, March 6 2014
Jimin's POV
The day has come when we finally be flying back to Seoul. Despite of the things that are happening now, all I can think about is how I will finally see Hee Yeon after five long days. I sure can't wait to see her again. I bet she's missing me a lot because I know I did.
When I meet her tonight, I will surely give her a very tight hug and be there for her from this day and on. I don't want her to handle this alone anymore so I've decided to be by her side no matter what so we can handle this together.
By the time we have arrived, I was surprised because she was waiting for us outside our dormitory. I guess she can't wait to see me anymore that's why she came all the way here to wait.
As I saw her, I immediately run up to her to give her a hug. Seeing her after five days got me so emotional that it put me in tears. Her body pressed against mine was the best feeling there is and I can't possibly find something that is greater than this.
"C'mon Yeonie, let's go inside. I'll just put my bag upstairs and we'll hang out in the living room," I utter as I try to pull her inside.
She hasn't been inside our dormitory because there wasn't enough time to do that. After work, she'll wait for us to finish with practice and she'll come with us here. But once we got out from the van, we'll walk straight directly to her apartment because it will be too late for her if she wouldn't go straight home immediately.
"No, it's okay. I'll just stay and wait here outside while you bring your things inside," she utters while looking up at the sky.
"Okay, I guess I'll just stay here too. I'll just bring my things inside later and won't leave you here unless you decide to come with me inside," I said as I flash a little smile.
"How is my Yeonie doing? Was the five days without me tough?"
"It was fine same old same old," she answers quickly without even looking at me.
It seemed odd when she answered so blankly. It's like nothing happened or maybe something did happened and that she's just hiding it from me. Now that I noticed it, she looks sleepless and much thinner than before.
"Yeonie?" I faced her, squeeze her face with my hands and force her to look at me. "Are you sick? Why do look so sleepless and thin? Don't tell me you got sick?"
"Don't overreact, I didn't. I guess it's just because of work," she swayed my hands off her slowly and continue to look up the sky.
"Did Mr. Bang Shi Hyuk made you do a lot of work?" I asked but she just shook her head.
I look up the sky as well to see why she's looking up but I can't see anything interesting. "What are you staring up there?"
"I just like looking at the sky that's all. It's wide and has this tiny shiny things on it. Despite how dark the sky is it can still shine so brightly. It looks pretty," she puts up a little smile.
"Are you referring to the stars?" I chuckle because she's being weird and I find it cute.
"Oh I remember, I bought you something. This is from Thailand. It is a bracelet that gives you luck," I brought out the souvenir that I bought from Thailand and happily place it on her hand. "Oh and look, I'm wearing my ring again."
"Thank you," she simply thanked me and smiled while looking at it. "That's nice."
Now, I can really sense that there's something that happened because she won't simply thank me and just look at it. She will either be excited about it and get overwhelmed or she'll scold at me for buying a useless thing. Or even ask me where I got my ring back from.
After that, she took a deep breath before speaking, "Jimin?" she utters making me face her. "I'll be going back to Chungju."
"Oh really, why? Are you missing your eomma? When will you come back?" I replied quickly.
"I won't be coming back," she softly said making me suddenly confused.
"Why? What about your job here? We still have to film the music video, you know. I am looking forward to it actually because you'll be the one who will co-produce it again," I utter, happily.
"I quit the job," she says, confusing me even more. "I already said that to Mr. Bang Shi Hyuk earlier and he respected my decision."
"Why?" I burst out. "Why would you do that? Did something happened? Did he do something to you or any of the other staffs? You know you can tell me, right?" I try to convince her.
"Nothing. I just want to quit and leave," she says, emotionless without even looking at me.
"What about me? Are you leaving me as well?" I look at her, disbelieved.
Leave? Why would she want to leave? What about me? Does she thought about me when she was deciding about that? No matter I think about it, it won't sink in to my head properly. I suddenly can feel my heart thumping so hard.
"I'm sorry, Chim," she gradually lowers her gaze to the floor.
"Did something happened? Tell me?" I stand in front of her and face her. Tears starts to fill my eyes as I look at her.
"Why are you suddenly saying all of this? What happened? Please tell me."
"I'm sorry I just can't handle this anymore," she then quickly walks away pass by me but I caught up to her and gave her a hug to hold her back.
It seems like I can't hold back my tears anymore so it started flowing on my cheeks. My heart starts beating so fast as well because the thought of her leaving me was making me anxious. It is really hard to imagine.
"Is it because of what's happening now? I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this because of me. I know it's hard to handle these things by yourself but I am here for you now. We can face these things together, you're not alone anymore. We have to prove to them that we're strong and we can pass through this. Just please don't leave me," I pleaded with sobs in every word I say.
"I'm sorry," she softly utters while she try and successfully removes my arms around her.
I can't really accept what is happening right now. It seemed like all of this is just a lie. So, I grabbed her arm and turn her to face me to see if she's telling the truth. She has nothing on her face but a blank expression but her eyes says otherwise. She has these tears piled up on the edges of her eyes ready to run down along her cheeks but she is trying her best to hold it back.
"Don't keep saying you're sorry and just tell me the reason why. Why are you doing this? Are you perhaps tired because of all that has been happening, is that it?" I asked as I squeezed her hand gently. "I told you I am here for you, right? Wasn't that clear enough?"
"Maybe you're right. Maybe I am tired or maybe I've just decided that you are not worth all of these shit," she said sounding so heartless. "Yes, you'll be here but I doubt that would make any difference. You're just not worth it."
"What are you saying, Yeonie? You love me, right? I know you do," I slowly released her hand thinking that maybe I was wrong that she loves me. Maybe all of this are lies and I'm just imagining stuff.
But no, I am sure enough that she loves me.
Everything that I believed in crashes when she utters the following words. It was like her words pierced through me, so sharp it can possibly kill me.
"I didn't. How can I actually love someone as burdensome as you? You were nothing but a burden to me. I was wrong to choose you and I was—"
I cut her off and gesture her to leave. She didn't leave immediately but after a few silent minutes, she left. I don't want to hear any more of it. It hurts so much that I can't think straight anymore. I was left standing outside with my eyes closed, trying to control my tears that are flowing uncontrollably on my cheeks.
Why would she suddenly say that? I don't get it. I know very well that I wasn't dreaming when she told me she loves me and all we've gone through these past few weeks was true.
Yes, she's just lying.
I instantly regret that I asked her to leave. So, I run to catch up to her. She isn't anywhere my eyes can see so I thought maybe she returned to her apartment. Not having time to catch a cab, I just forced myself and basically drag my body to run as fast as I can up to her apartment. Even if I get exhausted, I will still force myself to run.
I will not let her go, I thought, while running continuously with tears still flowing down from my eyes. I will fight for her this time and will not easily let her go. I know she loves me. I know she still do.
As I reached her apartment, it seems like no one's there. I kept on knocking on the door but no one is answering me. I tried calling for her name but still no answer.
Did she possibly left already? Is that possible?
After a few minutes of calling non stop I've decide to walk and look for her somewhere else. Maybe she's just near.
As I reach the sidewalk, I fell on my knees not because I was exhausted but because I feel so weak with the thought of maybe I was too late. I was too late to make her come back. Too late that I unknowingly let her go.
I start to cry again but this time harder, harder than I've cried before. I sob so hard that trying to catch my breath wouldn't be possible. It hurts so much that I can't believe I'm still alive.
Then a hand tried to comfort me from the back but it wasn't hers.
"She's gone, Jimin," Taehyung utters.
His words pierced through me like a thousand knives. I wasn't ready for it and I never will be.
End of Chapter 42
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A fan fiction is only a fan fiction.
No real harm done to the characters
of the story.
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Writer's Note
This is I guess by far the longest I've written and by far the most intense. 🙈 Who is ready for the last chapter? 🙋🏻 Because I know I'm not 😂🙈
Thank you for reading Chapter 42 of Only You! Please stay with me till the end. Saranghae Chingus! 🙆🏻