*************************************************************************************************
Chapter 17: If It’s Awkward and Depressing It’s Just My Life
~Jemma~
It wasn’t too thrilling trudging to school through the first falling snow of November and arriving at school to see your English partner in a deep embrace with the “new girl”.
Seriously. If they were going to kiss like that, get a freaking room.
I averted my eyes so I wouldn’t start puking in front of them and hurried into the school. It'd been a week and our project was going nowhere. He was spending too much time with Abby, no doubt. Not enough time for the partner.
I didn’t like the feeling of being low on somebody’s priority list. It made me feel lousy and stupid.
But why did I care? I wasn’t supposed to, anyway.
I slammed my locker door closed and returned any glares given to me. This was not my day. I stormed into AP Lit and slammed my books on the table, grumbling to myself as I sat in my seat.
“Something wrong, Ms. Knight?” Mr. Matthews asked, a rather comical look on his face. What the hell did he think was so funny?
“No, Mr. Matthews. Why would you say that?”
“It’s just that, most of my students do not come in sounding like a horse and mumbling crossly to themselves.”
I blinked. “Really?”
He smiled. “Really.”
I folded my arms over my chest and slouched down in my seat. “I am just fine, Mr. Matthews. Just fine.”
His stare lingered on me for a moment, but he shook his head and returned to his work. He didn’t believe me. Fine. I didn’t care.
After class I was taking a long time getting my books together on purpose, because Abigail---I refused to call her Abby---had gone up to talk with Mr. Matthews. Now, this could have been about anything, but my gut told me to stay.
So I did.
“Mr. Matthews,” I heard Abby ask.
“Yes?”
“I don’t have a partner for the English project, so I was wondering if I could partner up with Jacob.”
“Ms. Vienna, Mr. Hall already has a partner. If there is nobody left, you have the option to be exempt from this project.”
“But Jacob was all for it, too,” she whined.
I froze. Mr. Matthews did too. “Oh, really?”
She nodded. “Yeah. He said he’d rather be partners with me anyway.”
I squeezed my backpack strap tight. Mr. Matthews sighed. “I’ll think about it, Ms. Vienna.”
“Thanks, Mr. Matthews!” She clapped and left the room. Mr. Matthews caught my eye but I shook my head, rage boiling inside me. I said nothing to him on my way out the door.
Outside, the air smelled like fiery anger.
Someone was going to be burned.
I waited for Jacob by the fountain. He emerged with---who else?---Abby on one shoulder and Angelina on the other, Trevor tailing behind. I narrowed my eyes at him when he saw me, and the look I gave him must have been so intense he knew immediately we had to talk. He kissed Abby and did that weird man-shake thing with Trevor and gave a slight tip of his head toward Angelina. Then he stalked off toward me.
“Why the daggers?” He asked as soon as he was within earshot.
“If you wanted somebody else, why didn’t you just say so?” I asked him through clenched teeth.
“What are you talking about?” He countered. Oh, he had so much nerve.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Jacob. Or should I say Jakey?”
“Jemma . . .”
“I really thought we were friends. I thought I had finally met somebody who partially understood me. You know what? My bad.” I turned away and started stomping down the hill. Jacob called me back.
I whirled around. “What?”
“Would you like to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.
Like he didn’t know. “Stop acting so freaking innocent!” I screamed at him. “I thought you would be the first person not to hurt me, but that was my own fault.”
“Jemma, I would never---”
“But you already did!” I cut him off. “You’re just like them! Like all of them! One person comes along who’s different you all turn into the same person. And---and I just can’t take it anymore! You know. ” I hated the tears that slipped from my eyes. I said more quietly, “And you can’t change it.”
He started saying something else but I turned and ran away.
*****
~Jacob~
What did I do? What in the hell do I always do to make her like this?
I stared after the direction she ran off in long after she was gone. I was at a loss. How did she always find a way to blame me for something I never did and didn’t even know about?
I dropped to my knees by the fountain, and shifted onto my backside, leaning my back against the damp stone. I raised my knees and rested my forearms on top of them. A gust of wind blew through and caused my hair to tickle my eyes.
“Ah, I thought I’d find you out here, Mr. Hall.”
I peered up and saw Mr. Matthews looking down at me. “Mind if I sit?” he asked. I shook my head and with a groan he dropped down beside me.
“I screwed up again,” I said softly. “And I don’t even know how.”
“Screwed up? How so?”
“Jemma gave me another rant to which I had no idea what she was talking about and ran off again. I don’t know how to respond to that. I mean, I never did, but . . . she thinks I did something to hurt her and I would never.”
I felt Mr. Matthews staring at me. “So, you wouldn’t want to change partners or anything for a project of some kind?” he asked.
I looked at him then quizzically. “What? No, not really. What does that---”
“Good then, that just cut this whole little meeting here short.” He stood up and stretched his legs. “I’m not even sure how I got down there on that ground without pulling anything.” He smirked.
“What are you talking about?”
“I would tell Jemma you’re sorry and try to work something out.”
“I don’t even know what to be sorry for!”
Mr. Matthews stared at me as if I were stupid. “Well, then. Why don’t you just ask her?”
*************************************************************************************************