"We ended up having sex that night," I said, munching down on a cake pop. "I don't know how that came to be, but we did."
Steve raised his eyebrows at me cynically as he dug through his book bag. He offered me lunch at Starbucks, to which I gladly accepted. "So I'm assuming that's why you weren't here yesterday?"
I took another bite of my cake pop, and pushed my glasses up to a comfortable position so they were no longer sliding down my face. "No, I wasn't here yesterday because I had a shitload of work I needed to catch up on, so I decided to stay home and do it."
"Okay, if you say so." Steve's voice was full of disbelief and cynicism.
"What, you don't believe me?"
"No, I never said that. I just don't think it's a coincidence that you stayed home the morning after you had sex with your boyfriend to 'make up work'." Steve sat a lighter and a pack of Newports on the table.
"Yeah well, that's what happens when your sister stays over and shoves all her wedding and bachelorette party planning on you, when you already have a ton of college work to do." I finished the rest of my cake pop and took sip of my tea.
"You really sound like you don't want to go to this wedding, you know." Steve lit his cigarette and took a swift drag before letting the toxins drift off aimlessly in the air next to him. "Tell your sister that she needs to lay off of you or something, because if not she's going to keep shoving work on you."
I shrugged. "That's easier said than done. She's my sister and she relies on me. I can't let her down."
"You say that about everyone."
"What?" I asked. "That I can't let them down?"
Steve nodded, taking another drag of his cigarette. "You said that when you were telling me about your parents, and your boyfriend. You never talk about not letting yourself down."
"Yeah, I guess so." I mumbled, laying my chin on the lid of my cup. "That's kind of selfish though isn't it? Always doing things for yourself."
"Not if you can do it in moderation, Savannah." He flashed a small grin and released some smoke out of his mouth. "Do something for yourself for once."
"Like what?" I asked.
"I don't know, have sex. Go to the park. Draw a picture. Whatever twenty year olds do to have fun and stay relevant these days."
"I mean I guess," I mumbled again. "Tyler's changing."
"I would think he is, after managing to get you to stay home yesterday." Steve let out a laugh that made me roll my eyes.
"Shut up, I didn't mean it that way. He's changing like- mentally. He said that he should start stepping up to the plate in our relationship and stuff." I glanced at Steve who was taking harder inhales on his cigarette.
"He's probably just growing up. The girls out at those clubs and bars aren't the same as you, and he's probably realizing that." He looked at me while twirling the remains of his cig between his fingers. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
I leaned back in my chair with a sigh. "I'm just tired of him saying that he's going to change, and nothing happens. I'm tired of him saying all of these words but still doing the same damn thing before he can even finish the sentence. I really love him, but it's hard not knowing when he's going to actually change, you know? And with the hockey season starting in nearly two weeks, I can't help but get anxious. He's going to be away, doing things that I won't know about. And it's hard, knowing that I can't be able to read him that well, and know-"
"What he's been doing." Steve finished with me. "I'm sure all girls are like that. You just need to talk to him Savannah, and if he's really willing to change then he should be able to live up to your expectations." He threw his cig out onto the sidewalk and twisted the remains with the heel of his boot.
"Yeah, you're right. It's just really annoying." I folded the wrapper from my cake pop into small little squares before sighing lightly. "Everything just feels weird, you know?"
"What do you mean?" Steve asked, leaning his elbow on the back of his chair.
"Just, meeting Tyler, being thrown into his world, falling in love with him, having to deal with my past. It's just so overwhelming. I just want it to be me and him, and I wish we weren't just so easily distracted.." Steve was giving me an uneasy look that increased the rapid heartbeat in my chest and the butterflies in my stomach. "Don't mind me, I'm just rambling on again."
"Feels like the thoughts won't stop coming, huh?" He asked smiling.
"Yeah. Exactly."